waiting for ivf and struggling!

[YearningHeart]

mummy - Ohh thats good. Its nice when those pain killers work!

I just got home from the blood test. 4 and half hours left before I get the result. Omg I am so scared and I am so nervous. I have never been this nervous in my life. Im feeling normal. Please pray for me guys, I really want a BFP, so so badly.

 

[Melbram]

YH: Thinking of you x FX for BFP! I dont know how you havent done your own test

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I would have had to test this morning before I went for the blood test.
They don't do bloods at my hospital. They just give you a test to do at home but I bought a digital 1 and its more accurate.

I've been moved wards and its so noisy!!
They think I have to stay in again. I really hope not when my BP is stable x

 

[YearningHeart]

Hi ladies, I just got my results - a BFN

I guess I kind of expected it as my bleeding increased a lot this morning and I had blood clots. Im just so so gutted!

I wish you guys all the best!!! I hope you guys see a BFP and those who got a BFP, I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months. Thank you soo much for your kind words and support it meant the world to me.

Love you all! xxx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Ohh darlin I'm so sorry! It's heart breaking to hear!
I hope you don't have to wait 6 months to start again like I did.
It's a killer of a wait x

 

[Melbram]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that YH where do you go from here?

Mummy: hope u don't have to stay in again bless u x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

By the looks of it I have to stay in.
Waiting for the consultant. Been waiting since 11 x

 

[bundlesofjoy]

I am so sorry! Just want to give you a big hug.xxxx what are your next plans

Mummy that's a pain these consultants seem to run on there own time

 

[MinxyChick]

YH - gutted for you. I so thought the bleeding might implantation. Hope you can take some time out with OH and be kind to yourselves xx

Mummy - Hope they let you out of hospital soon. Nursery looks lovely, so exciting. Be nice to get home xx

Melbram - hmmm not sure what to say, they do say that the sperm takes over on day 3. I think if you do do it again it would be worth trying to find a clinic that does IMSI, that could make the difference. Don't like to mention it as I know you wanted IMSI this time. I couldn't egg share unless I was so so desperate, I'd just want all the chances for us and there's nothing wrong with that, every cycle is exhausting, we all need all the eggs we can get. Also, looking at sperm donor I don't want a shorty either! That's very important.
Having done 3 cycles, I think you're very wise to take a break, I really benefited from them between cycles. This is the toughest journey. xx

2have4 - how are you?

Bundles - its worth asking for 2 but I think the answer is likely to be no as they'll only let you have 2 after failed attempts.

AFM: Weekend to Brighton (I may have said Bournemouth b4), was lovely, had a good laugh with the girls.
Sadly back to reality, we had an appointment with the Dr yesterday. DH passes all chromosome & hormone tests. Nothing wrong. Even at 5% success rate the Dr is urging us to do have a go at IMSI. I put on a very brace face in appointments so I think he said this cos he thinks I'm made of steel.
We discussed it last night, DH would really like to do it. The whole thing hit me hard & all the pent up emotions came out, needless to say I spent most of the evening crying, woke up at 1am - crying. I felt so heavy. It made us both realise that I might not be able to handle another round (I think I knew that anyway). To me doing another round is like signing up for 2. I want to do this for DH but I'm not sure I can. Though he promises it would be the last - straight onto donor, I still don't think I can.
We've agreed that we will put off deciding until after the donor weekend (20th Oct), what we are going to do, that means we may not cycle until January. I hate that too but I admit it I'm not a robot, this is wearing me down so much. The build up, the cycle, the 2ww and that crashing disappointment. Can't believe it maybe 2014 before we do it again. DH is going to investigate donor a bit more. This IMSI 5% feels like a carrot being dangled....
The other thing is - if the inlaws weren't offering to pay for a cycle we'd be going straight to donor.

 

[MinxyChick]

2have4 - sorry I forgot to say the cost of adoption is disgraceful! Urghhh! Am so annoyed for you xxx

 

[2have4kids]

Minxy, I think waiting until after the donor weekend/more research is a very wise thing.

Yearning, I'm sending you big :HUGS: I'm so sorry it didn't work out. What are the next steps for you? Will they do more testing for you or will you look at alternatives?

Mummy thank goodness for pain management. The one time I was in the hospital I felt so well taken care of an cozy in my reclining chair + IV. The doctor was cute and there was no wait, I hope your stay is short and sweet and things roll along a little more smoothly with your pregnancy after this.

Bundles I really hope for you that they allow you to put 2 back, let us know how it goes Oct 1!

Melbram, have you looked into adopting over there or would you try a donation of sperm or something like that? What do you think your next step might be?

Ducktales how are you doing? I hope everything is well with you and you're done with your stubborn sinitis!

On Tuesday that x-tenant of ours plead guilty to stalking & harassment charges, it looks like she might have a parol officer that she has to check in with and they keep tabs on where she lives. She has a no contact order they just forwarded to us yesterday. I'm so relieved it's over.
Do you ladies know Colin Mochrie from Who's Line Is It Anyway? Well he's coming at the end of Sept to an improv festival here in Calgary, just booked tix for OH & I, can't wait to laugh my face off ;-)

 

[Melbram]

Minxy: thanks for your feedback and yes the IMSI thing has peeved me off a bit seen as I was meant to be doing that but then they stopped providing that service I feel for you so much Im drained after 2 cycles and couldnt put my body through it again let alone deal with the mental side of it just yet. Im sure your a little like me and wish it was more of an egg than a sperm issue because us women are stronger and can deal with things easier. To go on to an egg donor wouldnt bother me a great deal but if it was a sperm donor we were looking at Im sure my OH would be just like yours. Glad you enjoyed your weekend away x

2have4kids: great news about the tenant. I love a good bit of comedy also and will be looking to book some comedy night for me an OH soon.

Our plan at the moment is to step back a bit and have a break. Im going to book a holiday for late next year to have something to look forward to. In the meantime I will put OH on Menevit (heard its good for his sperm) we are both throwing ourselves into getting fitter together and I want my tubes looked at to make sure everything ok there. I will pray we get a miracle natural BFP but if that doesnt happen by the time we come back off our hols we will look at one last go of IVF if we can somehow get the money together or look more at adoption. Scary to think if we end up looking at round 3 of IVF or adoption it will be 2015 before this gets going! feel like we are wishing away our time! It all takes over our lives so much I have had my life on hold for so long now working everything around IVF time for OH and I to sort of take a year off and enjoy ourselves

 

[Ducktales]

Big hugs yearning, I'm so sorry
I will do personals this weekend but just getting ready for work
Xx

 

[YearningHeart]

Thank you so much ladies for your kind words! I feel fine today. I handled the news better than I expected again I think thats because I was expecting a BFN.

mummy - Yeah I hope I dont have to wait for too long but lets see. xx

Melbram - Im not really sure. Yesterday the nurse just gave the news and support and said they will make an appointment to discuss things further. I know what you mean! I feel as though this baby making is taking over my life and years are just passing. Its good your booking a holiday, just yesterday me and DH were discussing to go away for a week or two to fresh the mind and get away from everything and everyone (everyone and literally EVERYONE in my family have babies of all ages). You mentioned tubes. Do you have blocked tube? I have a blocked tube and I want to discuss it with the doctor when I next go in. Anyhow whatever you decided I wish you the best and I hope things work out easy for you. xx

Bundles - (Same as above) - I think they will put me on IVF again, Im entitled to 3 free IVF. 1 gone now. xx

Minxy - Yeah I thought it was implantation because it was brown then little pink however by next day the blood increased and by 3rd day it was a lot and clots. Thats when I thought this is over. DH took me out yesterday so it was nice but the annoying pessary was aching my rectrum It was seriously killing me! (I think its because I took the pessary through the back for like 3 days, I didnt want to use the front since I was bleeding) So since my backside was hurting a lot like I needed the loo we decided to bring the food home which was nice also.
It is nice when you can spend fun moments with people and then all of disappears when reality kicks in.
Take your time and think it through. I have done only 1 round of IVF and that was straight onto IVF without clomid or other medications. Just this ONE round of IVF - I feel it has drained me physically and mentally and to go through another round is scary to go through the whole long process with billion trips to the clinic. I can not imagine how people who have done so many rounds cope. Its will power, Its a killer Im sure and a strain but keep strong and think of the outcome. Whatever you decide doing I wish you all the best and I hope things go easy for you. xx

2have4kids - I dont think they will do more tests but then again Im not sure. I think they will put me to IVF again. Im in 2 minds if I want to start straight away or wait for a little while. I hated the medication phase so much, sometimes I used to cry - I think it was the fact that I am having to go through this whilst others get BFP so easily. But thats the reality eh!
Good to hear about the stalking lady! Nope Iv not heard of Colin Mochrie. xx

AFM - No updates really. Im going to make a call to the Clinic right now after posting this and see when I can make an appointment. I just check through my draws and I to my shock I realised I have 30 ovulation strips. Im on my periods now so soon as I finish everyday i am going to take an ovulation check to see when I am ovulating and see if I can get a BFP naturally. I really wish wish I can, I dont want to go through IVF, then again I dont think anyone does!
I have PCOS and I bleed like once in a blue moon unless I take BCP then bleeding comes after. So ovulation for me is a big fat confusion and to top it up my right tube is blocked so those little sperms have only one route. Im going to at for at least 2 months or so to see if I can conceive naturally (Would be a miracle because I have been trying nearly 6 years)at the same time I will make my visit to the clinic, its not like the medication would be straight away.
xx

 

[YearningHeart]

Ohhhhh my didnt realise how much I wrote.

 

[YearningHeart]

Just made the call to the clinic. They said they will write to me with an appointment date and that will be within 6 weeks. Ok so thats not too bad, Im going to focusing on getting fit, getting my BMI more down to nice and healthy and concentrate on this ovulation thing. I hope it works. xx

 

[Melbram]

YH glad ur feeling a bit better today and throwing yourself into other things x u normally have to have 3 periods before you can start again to let your body recover although I took abou 7 months off before starting again. I have never had my tubes checked because we have male factor it was like ivf was the way forward regardless but with ivf now out of the picture I want them checked to make sure natural is possible x

 

[YearningHeart]

Melbram - Yeah that would be good, to check yourself. Natural would be fantastic! Wow if I have to wait for 3 periods then I dont know when I will be able to start. This year I think I had like 4 periods and all of those were after finishing BCP (I had to BCP few times for treatments). Sometimes my periods come after months. Once I remember it came after like 7 months! How depressing.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Hey
Everyone I was allowed out this afternoon. 4 days was so enough in there! No sleep but on
Blood pressure tablets and strong pain killers.

Minxy, I know your finding it hard but you can't keep thinking it will never work. You need to try think positive as it can work.
I'd personally try again with my eggs and his sperm because Id want the best chance of my own natural children but if you honestly think you can't cope with doing another then that's up to you.

I had to wait 6 months in between cycles, nothing to do with periods but that's because its on the Nhs, that they think someone could be wanting their 1st go so you have to wait x

Hope everyone is ok.

I just need to rest as much as possible now and keep these babies cooking as long as possible x

Anyone got any thoughts of boys names? I hate near enough every name going x

 

[Melbram]

Glad your out mummy - keep them feet up and relax

Over the last few years oh and I never had any boys names but lately iv started to warm to Theo and Harrison x our girl name is Jessica after my nan x