waiting for ivf and struggling!

[bundlesofjoy]

Oh mummy so sorry you are still not well. You are really having a hard time how many weeks have you got left? Did they discharge you?

2have4kids it must be disappointing so sorry
At least you tried again and now have another plan. I will send you a hand saw

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Ohh 2have4- so sorry. Will they not start growing at all. It's onli been a few days hasn't it?
What have they said?

Yes I was luckily discharged and so glad because I would have been too frustrated to have stayed x

 

[2have4kids]

Mummy thankfully you were discharged, I hope things get better soon! Howard your feeling now?
my eggs started small and after 5 days were still small. No-go and I give up. I went out with the girls today and it was a lovely evening. They are all in the same boat, one with pcos & 1child, can't conceive her second. The other 27 years old and male severe factor with her premature ovarian diminished reserves like myself. They're both playing around with acupuncture. I felt like screaming at them to get on it (and start with iui or ivf) because the clock is ticking but you know, I'm sure i'm just feeling crazy because of my emotions today. I wouldn't dare be that bossy!

 

[Melbram]

Mummy: How much longer do you have now? glad you were discharged you must be wiped out bless you

2hav4kids: so sorry this cycle didnt work out. Its so disheartening and frustrating - big hugs x Best way forward is to keep your chin up and plan ahead like you are doing x

afm not a great deal to report have my appointment with Head of Embryology next week so starting writing out a few questions other than that its just work and wine

 

[mummy.wannabe]

2 have 4- so sorry to hear that. It's so disheartening to hear bad news. Are you still carrying on? Or have you stopped.
Glad you had a nice evening with your friends. I have some friends who have been married for years and trying for years and won't go to the doctors because they don't want to hear that they have a problem. They just wasting time if you ask me, but you need to let people do what they think is best.

My friend who has low ovarian reserve has started her 2nd round of Ivf at Bourne in Cambridge and I'm so hoping it works for her this time. It's hard hearing you ladies bad news but even harder when its your friend. They have upped her dose again so hopefully her eggs grow this time.

Melbrem- bet your looking forward to next week x

I have less than 7 weeks left but I think they will arrive in 3-4 weeks. I was in hospital near enough all day today. Waiting for doctors again to come and review the situation to just be told, all is ok at the mo and come back Monday for another BP check up.
They are keeping a close eye on me and for that I'm thankful but its so frustrating to keep going in all the time.
I don't think its the last time ill be admitted before the babies arrive so ill have to get used to that x

 

[MinxyChick]

th MummyW - sorry to hear you've colds & all the other stuff going. Sounds like its been awful all the that too-ing & froing whilst feeling rotten. I hope you can rest, relax and eat some of your whole grain foods! Glad your home, babies are such hard work & they're not even here yet. Hoping the time passes quick.

2Have4 - I'm so gutted to hear your eggs didn't grow. You gave it everything you could. You will get to be a mummy hun. Life is so unfair. I think we'll definitely be doing donor sperm. Its such a tough choice. But then I read these cases where people keep doing treatment, keep getting the same results and no one has said to them 'look you need to try donor something now, cos this isn't working'.

AFM: DH & I saw the Andrologist / Urologist on Wednesday. DH had his first examination and all looks ok. As the Andrologist specializes in male fertility he was able to offer extra insight into his hormone results (so we passed the karotyping/hormones test and the FSH, LH & Testosterone tests), the FSH was in the normal range for a man at 7.9 but what it means is his body his working mega hard to produce sperm and there's still not many and there not great. So no amount of vitamins or diet will improve the sperm. The Andrologist said we could try SSR - Surgical Sperm Retrieval as the sperm he could collect would be immature ones and they could be better quality than ejaculated sperm. When I asked how many people this had worked for he had no facts or figures, or even 1 case he could recount. DH would have a general anaestetic and need to take 10 days off work and it was would cost £1,600 on top of everything. It would be the most invasive type of SSR. Here I draw the line, this is unproven and its got a big recovery time. Just not worth the extra stress.
We've been discussing IMSI Vs Donor non stop and though DH will decide after the donor weekend, we have basically said today we're doing donor. 3 attempts has broken me, as our results have been so bad I can't see it being a miracle for us, it may take multiple attempts and I don't think I can handle it. I keep telling myself I'm not weak to have come this far but I'm too logical to keep trying. Time to face the reality that we need donor sperm. It's tough & I'm gutted but not as gutted as when I agreed to IMSI and realised I couldn't go through that disappointment again.

On a lighter note we are off to Washington DC and New York for 10 days from tomorrow night. A chance to relax and enjoy ourselves, forget TTC for a little while.

Lots of love to everyone, hope your doing well xx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

It all seems a lot for hubby to go through that op if they haven't got any figures on if its going to work!
Glad hubby has agreed that donor is the best.
You are not weak. You have to keep going to get your dream baby/ babies!
No matter what is thrown at you, you got to pick yourself up and try again.
Not 1 of us would be happy if we weren't to get children eventually, no matter what she.

So glad your getting away. New York is amazing! I hope you aren't taking any heels and you have some good walking shoes. We walked for hours and hours each day.
We went for 5 days and still didn't see everything.
You get a good feel for what you'd like to do and see next time tho.
If love to go to New Jersey and go to the Carlos cake shop that's on the TV show cake boss.
How long are you going to each place?
Never been to Washington but been loads of places in America x

 

[Melbram]

Minxy: Glad you have both reached a decision so you can now move on with things. I understand it must be so hard or your DH. LIke you 3 is my limit with Assisted Conception. If I go for a third round I will do IMSI. I really dont think I could put myself through a 4th cycle even with donor sperm.

Could I ask what your DH's SA's are like and how much you have paid for the karotyping/hormones test and the FSH, LH & Testosterone tests?

 

[2have4kids]

Minxy, I don't know about you or your OH, but now that I'm on the path of donor eggs, I feel a weight slightly lifted off my shoulders. It's just a different sort of worry now, finances and when (as usual). You are strong, it's hellish going through all of this stuff, reassure your OH, grab his hand and move forward, chins up. Right now even though I feel better I'm very teary & emotional when it comes to watching the second season of Call the Midwife, but I think maybe this is only because I don't already have bab(ies) in arms. This pain will go away, hopefully sooner rather than later
.
Have a fun time in DC and NY, are you going to NYC? Either way, I find travel reinvigorates my spirit and seems to make me forget about things quite easily. Enjoy!

Hi to all you lovely ladies, I hope you had a nice weekend. We did a hike with a big group of friends. We had sun, fog, rain, snow all in the same day. There were loads of big slimy beautiful mushrooms that I photographed and put on my FB. My one knee is quite sore today (arthritis), it's the one tha hasn't been operated on yet. I have x-ray papers in my car, I'm delaying seeing the results, don't feel like any more doctor appts or surgeries in the near future. I'm sure I'll suck it up in a few weeks when I'm past all of this stuff. Let me know if any of you feel like doing fb, I'm not searchable but I'd certainly reach out if any of you feel like connecting.
Have a great Monday everybody!

 

[MinxyChick]

Thanks for all the messages of support.

Melbram - when we had our last follow up our Dr offered todo the tests on the NHS before we got discharged. The follow up needs to be within x amount of time since treatment. I think the karotype tends to only show an issue when there's almost 0 sperm but its great to know everything is ok. I would push to get it on the NHS before its too late, I know other ladies have had it done.

Will reply again...getting ready to go out & DH has just vacated the bathroom for me.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

2have4kids- add me on Facebook if you'd like.
Any if you.
Hayley cope x

 

[2have4kids]

Hi Mummy, got your pm-thank you and will respond after work today. Going to be a busy one, got your fb going too ;-)

 

[bundlesofjoy]

Hi all hope everyone is ok?
I have a Facebook account but tend not to go on it often I will private message you my name.

I am just waiting till tues for my appointment and my second AF to come due today but don't think it will come today

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Added you 2have4

Bundles I can't find you.

Had hospital today, all went fine. BP is good and babies are fine.

My brother gf had her 2nd little girl this morning.
Born very quickly and wasn't breathing. Swallowed meconium and is in special care. All very shocked but she's doing fine now.

 

[2have4kids]

Oh that's super stressful, born not breathing? Thank goodness it was quick and for modern medicine. Mummy this is the lady who you weren't thrilled about when she got preggers right? Glad to hear everything's fine with you at the moment.

I think I found bundles but there's more to the name than just the first & last and need to make sure it's her.

I've emailed two friends to set up coffee dates to ask them for egg donation. I can't believe I'm going to do this but these two are super ultra professional, beautiful, smart and sensitive people who wouldn't make my OH and I feel weird if they were around our kids. They're really lovely women. I can't consider anyone else, I've had one good friend offer but she's got strange morals & boundaries and even though she has warm-hearted intentions it'd just feel aweful if she made some stupid comments, and the likelihood would be great.
How does one ask another for eggs, this is the conversation in my head this week. I have no choice, we REALLY can't afford donor eggs and will be risking everything putting all the extra available credit on the line to do it (will still do it if we have to). So this is the only intermediate solution I can think of which is going to be very hard and uncomfortable. I fully want to give them a safe 'out' caveat before I ask them so as to not make them feel badly and I'd do what Mummy suggested to me in a pm and explain the whole situation first before going into it. I wouldn't want any weird feelings between us for the future, in case they decide against.

 

[Melbram]

Gosh mummy that must have been awful for your brother and his GF. So glad the lil girlie is dong well now. glad your BP and lil bambinos are doing well. Cant believe it will only be a few more weeks and they will be here it feels like it has gone so quick (maybe not quick enough for you though struggling along carrying them )

Minxy: thanks for the info. Hope you and DH are having a lovely break

2have4kids: Well done with the hike but sorry to hear about your sore knee. I know what you mean about not wanting to be bothered with any more hospital appointments/results etc

Bundles: GL with Tuesday's appt

afm attended my follow up with the Head Director of Science at the Centre today lovely down to earth guy. Problem is as I thought due to OHSS and producing too many eggs the quality is suffering which is why they are not progressing well after fertilisation. If I went for a third round we would look at a short protocol and change up my meds. A private third round is out of the question however but was told I am young with lots of eggs and OH's sperm are good - he told us OH's sperm count is 13mil and motility/morphology is normal. His sperm seem to be better than before . Also told that the average count has now officially been reduced from 20mil to 15mil so OH is really not far off everything being in the normal ranges. I have ordered OH menevit in the hope it will give his sperm an extra boost. We were also told that alcohol has more of an effect on sperm/egg quality than was initially thought by scientist so being fit/health and drinking as little as possible can only help us. I have asked to be put forward for lap and dye as I never had that done. All in all we came out of the appointment feeling very hopeful that we may get a natural BFP one day

 

[Melbram]

2have4kids: posts crossed: FX they go for it. Such a difficult decision and strange situation to be in but it will no doubt become so normal the more it is talked about just like with the whole IVF process. I find myself going into so much detail because it is normal to me then catch peoples reaction lol

We will all be here for you xxx

 

[Melbram]

Anyone heard off Pinkie at all? wasnt she getting married around about now?

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Yes this is the gf who I wasn't happy about being pregnant.
They were on and off in relationship. We weren't sure if it was actually my brothers baby.
My mum thinks she looks like him but I can't see it yet.
My brother told me she was pregnant before I was 12 weeks and I was petrified that I'd loose the babies and would feel even worse as she would still be pregnant.
They haven't decided on names as she hasn't been in the best of moods lately and they have been fighting.
He picks his other daughter up every night after work and brings her to my mums for a few hours and her mum likes a few hours rest.

2 have 4- are you meeting with them both at the same time?
When is it?
I wish you the best of luck with this!!
You'd obviously have to pay got the whole Ivf process but I take it, its s lot cheaper than paying for a private donar.

Melbrem- that's great news!
Did they say it would be possible for you to conceive naturally?
Glad hubby's sperm is good.

Will they let you have a 3rd go?

There was a slightly different name for bundles so didn't add her incase its not her x

 

[Melbram]

Yes it has always been possible to conceive natural as far as we are aware but as I say I have never had lap and dye so for all I know I could have blocked tubes although nothing has ever indicated that on scans. Round 3 would be private x