We'll Be Over The Moon, When We Get Our BFPs In June! Newbies welcome :)

[RobertRedford]

yay Nichole!

 

[BubsMom17]

Ok, well I am super happy that Blue is just fine! A little creaky and old, but he seems in good health for an old man. I got him so glucosamine and he was given an anti inflammatory, but so far so good. I had to leave him at the vet for blood work and x-rays, but he'll come home tonight.

Well, off to my scan!

 

[RobertRedford]

Glad Blue is well, Emily! Keep us posted! I am so antsy for you!

 

[morganwhite7]

Thank you all, so much. Idk if anyone's a christian or not, but keep us in your prayers if so. Sometimes it gets very hard for us. Sometimes we're okay. I just truly believe that without God, I would be such a wreck right now!!

I also hate that everybody thinks I would rather not talk about it..
I actually want to tell everyone I know about what happened.. for the few weeks when we were in the hospital we talked non-stop about everything and then after.. it just stopped. I wish I could talk about it every day, makes me feel better. But mostly it makes people feel uncomfortable. I just stare at his pictures all day at work and wish that I could go on and brag to everyone on how adorable he is.. like mothers do. Actually, I went in to the dentist a week or so ago and he asked how Jaxon was, "What about 2 months now, is that right?" I just smiled and told him he was doing great, cute as a button. It felt good to pretend!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
But to answer your question Mirolee, no, so here's MY STORY (in a pretty novel-like nutshell..lol) :

During the crash my placenta detached and his oxygen supply was completely cut off (to the point that when they delivered him, the cord was COMPLETELY DRY). I remember in the ambulance they tried to find his heartbeat and couldn't bc the driving was apparently "too loud" so I had to wait until getting to the hospital to finally hear that he was OK. That wooshing heartbeat made me feel 110% better!!! Once there, DH and I stayed in the hospital for about 5 days and then once discharged, we stayed (LITERALLY didn't leave this little room for 8 days!) in the NICU with Jaxon. The first few days were a BLURR, as you can imagine. We were so doped up that it was hard to tell what was going on. I was allowed to do "Kangaroo Kare" which is naked chest to chest with baby. So I did this for 8 hour at a time, all night and day for days on end, only getting up if I needed to pee so bad I couldn't hold it. They fed him my breastmilk through a tube twice a day once he got a little better. They told me his brain had bled from the oxygen deprivation, so there were holes in his brain where the blood was absorbed. He was basically a "sleeping baby". Beautiful, 38 weeks (so technically full-term), weighed 8 lbs and was perfect. But only because his brain stem was attached, which is what allows you to BREATHE/have a HEARTBEAT. He was on a ventilator all of his short life. He also had liver/spleen issues. All of these combined would have made it so that we'd have to feed him through a feeding tube his whole life and he would always be "sleeping" as they called it. But we didn't mind that a bit. Throughout the entire time, they told us he would not make it. We hoped and prayed as hard as anyone could, but it was not what God had planned for him. On April 10th, in the evening, my sister wanted to hold him. Everyone else got to, but her.. so we thought we'd give her a chance before he got too fragile. Once he was on her chest, the nurses ran in to tell us that his vitals were plummeting and that this, he had chosen, was his time. He was switched to my chest so daddy and I could hold him for his last moments. We took out his dreadful breathing tube, and he slowly went.. in the comfort of our arms. Daddy sang to him. Then, after a short while, we clothed him and I kissed him on his lips for the first time. He'd always had a neonatal bar, to hold in the tube, so that was one of the moments I will never, ever forget. (OR the time when we changed his diaper, and my baby- with no brain function- peed all over us!!! ) So finally after we said the worst goodbye of our entire lives, we handed him to our WONDERFUL nurse, whom I will NEVER forget!!, and walked out of the hospital like zombies. After all of that, we just get in the car and drive home?! It seemed too unreal. So yes, this is the nightmare I have to remember everyday. We had an open casket funeral, but neither DH or I looked. He looked better plump and juicy, the way I remember him He is buried about 500 feet down the road from where we crashed, it's a cute little town, way out in the country. There is a beautiful cross that my step father made in the crash site, so we'll never forget. It will be a place we'll take our family someday, to tell all of his brothers and sisters what an amazing little fighter their big brother was.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hope I didn't shake anyone up too bad, just remember our story when you feel like things are bad. And just go to sleep every night knowing that you have done everything you can to just be happy and lead a wonderful life. Bc you never know when your whole world may fall apart

Babydust to ALL

-Oh and OPK's are back to neg. so we'll BD once more tonight to be sure.. But I just CANNOT WAIT for Father's Day.. I am testing the two days before (10/11DPO) to see what happens.. so that if its SOMEHOW pink, I can wrap it up in a box for Father's Day.. best gift ever, right?!?! Gosh but what a let-down that would be if not.. GAH.

 

[HWPG]

morgan, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. like everyone else, there are tears in my eyes and a sad spot in my heart for you. hoping fathers day brings you those two lines

 

[RobertRedford]

FRER's are buy one get one free at walgreens today, ladies!

 

[RobertRedford]

I finally tested. On my lunch break at work (teeheee), and it was like the 4th time I had peed today after only an hour hold. Im about 8dpo (maybe 9, if I O'd on the day of my pos OPK)...and there is a FAINT second line on my FRER. uploading pics in a few. I can't tell if its pink or grey. It could be a nasty evap!

edited to say: the more I look at it in person, the more white the line looks.

 

[asmcsm]

Emily- Can't wait to know what you're having!

Morgan- Your story brought tears to my eyes. You have been through so much. Stay strong and I hope you get your BFP soon.

Amanda- I hope you're wrong and it's not an evap!

AFM, still no AF today. Might test when I get home. I swear this wedding planning is going to give me a heart attack. Really getting into crunch time and I'm getting way stressed

 

[RobertRedford]

Emily- Can't wait to know what you're having!

Morgan- Your story brought tears to my eyes. You have been through so much. Stay strong and I hope you get your BFP soon.

Amanda- I hope you're wrong and it's not an evap!

AFM, still no AF today. Might test when I get home. I swear this wedding planning is going to give me a heart attack. Really getting into crunch time and I'm getting way stressed

Tickers don't show on my work computer for some reason-- when is your wedding date? I can only imagine how crazy stressful it must be!

Thank you, me too! I am trying soooo hard not to get my hopes up.

 

[asmcsm]

June 23rd. 2 weeks and 2 days! Freaking out over here!!!

 

[asmcsm]

And my future MIL isn't helping. She tries to be helpful but what she doesn't understand is that I'm like OCD and picky and so I want to do everything myself because I already know how I want it. I feel bad but at the same time I've told her a million times that I already have it planned out and if I need her help I will let her know. My mom has stayed out of it because she knows not to mess with it unless I say something lol.

 

[RobertRedford]

June 23rd. 2 weeks and 2 days! Freaking out over here!!!

oh my goodness. goodluck-- im sure it will be great!

 

[NDTaber9211]

Your story made me cry Morgan. It's so sweet and so terribly sad at the same time.

Dh and I are planning on naming our future soon Jaxon but we will spell it Jackson. Dh middle name is Jack and I want to name our son after him. His first name is Lonnie but he HATES his name so can't use that

 

[asmcsm]

We were originally also going to use Jaxon but my cousin found out she was pregnant in November and announced at Xmas that if it was boy they were naming him Jaxon. I was furious and actually left early because at Halloween I had told her that was my first choice boy name. She's due in July and it's a boy.

 

[RobertRedford]

I am driving myself crazy analyzing this test. May stop at the dollar store on the way home to grab a few cheapo hpts and save my frer for tomorrow am. Here is another view of the test:

 

[asmcsm]

I am driving myself crazy analyzing this test. May stop at the dollar store on the way home to grab a few cheapo hpts and save my frer for tomorrow am. Here is another view of the test:

I definitely see the line but can't tell if its pink or grey

 

[RobertRedford]

I am driving myself crazy analyzing this test. May stop at the dollar store on the way home to grab a few cheapo hpts and save my frer for tomorrow am. Here is another view of the test:

I definitely see the line but can't tell if its pink or grey

me either. I think FRER's have gotten worse with their indents and evaps recently!

 

[clynn11]

Robert- Can't tell color but can definitely see your line!!!

 

[RobertRedford]

Robert- Can't tell color but can definitely see your line!!!

Thanks Trying not to get my hopes up!

 

[RobertRedford]

Hey Waves, how are you doing today? Any updates?