Whats a good AGE gap between kids?

[JleStar]

Hi all! Just FYI I am trying to conceive #2. We just started. Our son is already 2.5.
What do you think of the age gap?
I thought I wanted me children to be no more the 2 years apart but now things have changed. I just wasn't ready to get pregnant so quickly after my son was born. To be quite honest I still don't feel ready. I just have the added pressure of my husband worrying about our kids age gap.

What do you all think?

 

[justplay91]

Honestly, there are positives and negatives to every age gap. Things that work really well for one family won't necessarily work for another. Personally, my OH and I have opted for a small age gap- under two years- because that's what we believe will work the best for us. But if for some reason it didn't happen and we had to wait until our son is older to conceive a sibling, that would be okay too. I think they're just as likely to be close in the long run. If you don't feel ready, I think waiting for awhile would be just fine! The best thing for your kid(s) is having a happy mom who feels confident in taking care of two crazy kiddos!
Question for you: it the idea of pregnancy that you feel you aren't ready for, or is it the idea of having a toddler and a newborn to look after?

 

[lisap2008]

My first and second are 5 years apart ( not by choice had PCOS and was not ovulating also one depo shot messed me up for years.) and honestly the only difficult part of them being so far apart was DD1 was used to being the only child so when we brought home the new baby she acted starved for attention however over time she got better and once DD2 was old enough to play they bonded beautifully.
My second , third and 4th are 2 years apart although they were all surprise pregnancys, I was happy however it was much more work on me having a toddler running around with a new baby to care for and I did not get much help from my husband or family and with my 4th I was ordered on bed-rest due to early labor and was not able to rest as doctor wanted so she was born at 35 weeks thankfully all was well. however with a helpful husband it may have gone much smoother .
ultimately its up to you when you feel ready for a new baby .

 

[BKKBabe]

I read once that ideally, children should be at least 3 years apart. On a psychological level, at 3 years of age, a child had reached an emotional security that a younger child may not have. Meaning that by 3, your child feels more secure in the place he has in your family and won't be affected as much about having to share attention.

But this is one piece of the puzzle only Just sayin' that having a bigger gap definitely has its advantages.

 

[babydustcass]

We have 4 years apart for our two. It works great for us and we liked that our first lo was at nursery and about to start school when the second came along. For us we were relived to have one fully potty trained day and night, no more dummies and just about to enter his own little world of school. There will be about a 5 year age gap between our second and our next. I think it really depends on you and what is right for your family. My son never had any problems accepting a new baby into the family even 4 years in.

 

[mommyB]

I have a 2 years age gap. I never had any issues when ds2 came along. Ds1 was super helpful at the age of 2. We planned on a two year age gap though. I definitely don't think I could of done less than that though. Lol

 

[mummy2o]

There is a 7 year gap between DS and DD, just due to them having different dads. DD was suppose to have a 14 month age gap between her and her younger brother but I miscarried him at 19 weeks due to sepsis. So when I next fall pregnant will be great for me as I think a small age gap would work well for me this time.

 

[steph.]

I have 22 months between my girls and if this pregnancy sticks, im heading for another 22 month gap. The good was that dd1 didnt remember being an only child, so when dd2 arrived there were no jealousy issues. Also dd2 is tall so now they can share some clothes which makes my life easier. The bad is that dd1 is too much of a baby herself to understand that dd2 is just a baby and has limired patience with her. I think if the gap had been bigger she would be more nurturing. However I'm looking forward to having them all grow up together and hopefully being good friends.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I have a small and large gap. Prefer the large x

 

[Mrs W 11]

It's interesting hearing all of these points of view! We wanted a 2 year gap and got pregnant right on time for that but had a mmc and now having problems ttc again. It would be over 3 years gap now and I do worry about how big the age gap will be.

 

[Beautiful11]

Im in the completely same boat as you! my DS is going to be one next month and im desperate to start trying like what if it doesnt happen straight away or should i wait until hes in school? hmmm

 

[kittycrazy]

my kids are 16 and 9 and that age gap has always suited us all. if i get another theyll be 17 and 10 at least. i feel a bit like ill of had three separate families!

 

[emyandpotato]

We'll have exactly four years and it's what I've always wanted. They're still close in age and can play together but DS understands what is happening and can be excited and help look after the baby without too much jealousy (hopefully). It's also nice that he'll be starting school in September so I have time alone with the new baby, and time to sleep!

 

[Amyface]

Our eldest will be a month or so off being 4 when LO gets here. I have 2 months with him at pre-school 2.5 days a week, then 6 weeks summer and then he's off to school. I think that's quite a nice gap. Having the eldest at school means I can give more time so baby during the day. I'm scared about the time he's here and I'm juggling 2 for a while, but hopefully that means he's secure enough that he doesn't feel like he's just being shipped off to school full time because there's a new baby.

 

[LiteBRIGHT33]

I always wanted two years between kids, but that means we would be trying to conceive now. I really wouldn't want larger than a 3 year gap for myself for career reasons. I do worry about each child having their own time though. Sometimes the thought of having another now makes me sad for my DD. My head is spinning with decisions like this that make such a huge impact on EVERY aspect of my life.

 

[Kellya009]

We wanted 24 months personally. I've heard really good things about ~3ish years though. I know there's a badge of honor for 3 under 3 but all I hear is complaining from those women. Worth it? I dunno.