30-somethings TTC #1 Testing and Support Thread!

[LuckyD]

So, apparently I just can't wait. I was trying to wait until Saturday to test, as that would be two days after AF was due. But, the past several days I've been symptom spotting like crazy. And, Sunday night I had a little spotting that only last for a few hours. So, I finally broke down today and tested.

And I got a !!! Actually, I got two, because I didn't quite believe the first one. They were light lines, but definitely lines, no doubt about it! I am so shocked and excited! I called my doctor and they are fitting me in today. I'm so happy to have a doctor that doesn't make you wait until 6 weeks to come in to confirm.

WOOOOOOOO!!!!! That is so exciting!! Congrats love, that is amazing news!

What symptoms were you spotting?

Wow, so happy for you!!!!

 

[bonjo808]

first I must say congrats to JC. great news.

Ok ladies I need some help. Our friend is in town this week for a seminar and she's coming over tomorrow night to visit since we haven't seen her in awhile. We found out last month that she is pregnant (about 5 months now) and due in October. I openly admit I am jealous of her but I am of course happy for them as well. Can't help but being envious as it was my plan to be due in October so I feel she stole my plan (unbeknowst to her of course).

We haven't seen her since finding out about her pregnancy and I'll be honest I'm really really concerned about how I'll react when seeing her. I just have no idea what emotion is going to come out. I don't want to seem rude or disinterested, so I'm looking to you ladies to help me get through this. I need some words of wisdom or even some funny thoughts to put in my head so I don't totally lose it tomorrow. It doesn't help that I'm PMSing this week so my emotions are all over the place already. I'm fully prepared that the minute she leaves our house I will start bawling. Any advice would be greatly appreciate.

Sorry for the rant but I'm having one of those "why is it happening to everyone but me" kind of days and you guys are the only people I could think of to talk to about this. I know its childish and immature but I can't help it.

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

bonjo I know you exactly how you feel and I'm sure many other women in here do too ~ no matter how good a friend she is it is natural to feel this way, considering how long you've been trying and what a nasty thing TTC is.

Can you picture an alien in her belly?

Seriously though, it won't be as bad as you fear. It is just the expectation of feeling upset around her bump that is getting you right now. The actual experience won't be as bad.

Does she know you are trying? I hope that if she does she is empathetic like my friend has been to me

 

[LuckyD]

first I must say congrats to JC. great news.

Ok ladies I need some help. Our friend is in town this week for a seminar and she's coming over tomorrow night to visit since we haven't seen her in awhile. We found out last month that she is pregnant (about 5 months now) and due in October. I openly admit I am jealous of her but I am of course happy for them as well. Can't help but being envious as it was my plan to be due in October so I feel she stole my plan (unbeknowst to her of course).

We haven't seen her since finding out about her pregnancy and I'll be honest I'm really really concerned about how I'll react when seeing her. I just have no idea what emotion is going to come out. I don't want to seem rude or disinterested, so I'm looking to you ladies to help me get through this. I need some words of wisdom or even some funny thoughts to put in my head so I don't totally lose it tomorrow. It doesn't help that I'm PMSing this week so my emotions are all over the place already. I'm fully prepared that the minute she leaves our house I will start bawling. Any advice would be greatly appreciate.

Sorry for the rant but I'm having one of those "why is it happening to everyone but me" kind of days and you guys are the only people I could think of to talk to about this. I know its childish and immature but I can't help it.

Oh sweets, it is not childish or immature!! I think we can all relate to what you are saying – I definitely can! I have been in a number of similar situations and totally understand why you are feeling worried.

I guess one thing that worked for me was to give myself some time to be upset and grieve before seeing them. It is ok to acknowledge those feelings – I like to talk to OH but if not even talking to yourself can be helpful. Or writing it down – all the feelings you are having, whether they are jealousy or sadness or anger or frustration or whatever. Give yourself a chance to get it out, then tell yourself that you are going to put all those feelings on hold for a few hours. Not that they aren’t there or aren’t important – but that you are going to let the feeling of being happy for them be the dominant feeling for a little while.

I also found it helpful to think about how I want people to react to me when I’m pg. I think having waited a while for this, I am going to be more sensitive than some to how others might feel about my pregnancy – but I think I will still be really grateful when people can show they are happy for me.

Also, as Jaimie said, does your friend know you are trying? If so, are they likely to be a bit empathetic about how you might feel about their pregnancy? Hopefully they will be considerate of your feelings.

Maybe talk to your OH before the dinner and explain how you are feeling and what might be difficult for you about the evening. Let him know you need his support. Then you don’t have to feel alone with it – you know he will have your back.

And at the end of the day, it’s not wrong to have these feelings. If it does become too much and you can’t hold back your tears or whatever…I think it’s ok to say ‘I want you to know that I am so happy for you and am wishing you all the best for pregnancy. It just reminds me of how much I want to be in your position’. I think most people would be understanding.

Oh and last idea – WINE!!!!

Don’t know if any of this is helpful at all, but I know that all of the above have been useful to me at different times.
Big hugs sweetie xxxxxx

 

[bonjo808]

thanks Jamie and Lucky. Your advice is very helpful. I did have the evening to myself tonight so it was good to get some emotions out now. I did mention to her a while ago that we have been trying so hopefully she'll remember that and understand. I am excited to see her so I know it will be fine...but just in case I have the wine chilling now

 

[JCfromKC]

Congratulations JCfromKC!! That is FANTASTIC! Do you mind sharing how long you've been trying for and any tips you think helped?

We've only been actively trying for 4 months, however, we were waiting to try for about four months before that. So, I've been taking prenatal vitamins for about eight months now and drinking Red Raspberry leaf tea somewhat regularly (not every day though, as when I drank it every day in the beginning, it gave me super heavy periods), and tracking my cycles really closely.

I totally thought that after waiting to try for four months (DH and I have been together for 12 years, married for five, so, in a way, I've been waiting to try for much longer!), that it would be immediate. But, after the first and second month went by, I started using an OPK. After that didn't work the first month, I finally realized that I just needed to relax a bit, and I think ultimately that is what helped the most.

DH and I only had a chance to BD twice around the time I was ovulating, but I was determined to not let it effect me. We worked a ton on the house which put me in a great mood, and I made plans to go out with girl friends to take my mind off of everything.

The only other thing we did differently this month was I had DH stop drinking soy milk last month, as I heard that excessive soy can mess with men's testosterone levels. Not sure if that had anything to do with it, but I figured it couldn't hurt. He drank a lot of soy milk!

WOOOOOOOO!!!!! That is so exciting!! Congrats love, that is amazing news!

What symptoms were you spotting?

Wow, so happy for you!!!!

I did have a lot of symptoms, which is why I tested early. I felt super tired all weekend, slightly nauseous, and my lower abdomen has been sore. Then, Sunday night I started spotting a tiny bit but it stopped Monday morning. Usually when I spot like that, the next day my AF will come. So, when it didn't I knew something was up.

first I must say congrats to JC. great news.

Ok ladies I need some help. Our friend is in town this week for a seminar and she's coming over tomorrow night to visit since we haven't seen her in awhile. We found out last month that she is pregnant (about 5 months now) and due in October. I openly admit I am jealous of her but I am of course happy for them as well. Can't help but being envious as it was my plan to be due in October so I feel she stole my plan (unbeknowst to her of course).

We haven't seen her since finding out about her pregnancy and I'll be honest I'm really really concerned about how I'll react when seeing her. I just have no idea what emotion is going to come out. I don't want to seem rude or disinterested, so I'm looking to you ladies to help me get through this. I need some words of wisdom or even some funny thoughts to put in my head so I don't totally lose it tomorrow. It doesn't help that I'm PMSing this week so my emotions are all over the place already. I'm fully prepared that the minute she leaves our house I will start bawling. Any advice would be greatly appreciate.

Sorry for the rant but I'm having one of those "why is it happening to everyone but me" kind of days and you guys are the only people I could think of to talk to about this. I know its childish and immature but I can't help it.

Bonjo, I hope your friends visit turns into a good thing for you. I think everyone on the forum has felt the way you do at some point. I know I have. I had to deliver something to a client of mine who had just gotten married two months beforehand. While I was there she told me she was 6 weeks pregnant. I congratulated her and then went home and totally cried. Pregnant on the first try and just two weeks after getting married? How is that fair. But, as soon as I got that out of my system, I was able to be happy for her.

I have a good friend who is also pregnant who, upon finding out that we were trying, proceeded to send me all of the info that she had accumulated on TTC and told me how long she and her husband had been trying. It made me feel really good to hear, not just the good news, but the trials and tribulations behind the good news. To know that most people go through at least some sort of wait and effort. It's a very few that get lucky right away.

So, I hope your friend's visit will end up being really good. Maybe she'll have some ideas or advise for you. I know everyone on here has their BFP coming to them soon! The best advice I got, I got on this thread. And that was just to relax and have fun! And ditto on the wine!

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

Thanks for letting us know what worked for you JC!

Bonjo - I have to say the evil green eyed monster part of me that has been sooo jealous of other women that get pg quickly and have gorgeous bumps, that part of me LOVES the thought of you enjoying several glasses of wine while visiting with your pg friend! I know, I know, it is petty and mean spirited but that is what 14 months of trying will do to a gal!!

 

[parkgirl]

Hi ladies.

Congrats JCfromKC!!

Bonjo- I hope the visit goes well. I think I would have a hard time with it. Probably be very torn between being very happy for her and jealous/sad at the same time.

Big hugs to everyone else. I hope you are all doing well.


DH and I have been very busy the past several days doing our best to catch that egg. I'm still super excited that I got a positive OPK this month. Really wasn't expecting it until next cycle.

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

Yea for your positive opk ParkGirl!

 

[maxxiandniko]

thanks Jamie and Lucky. Your advice is very helpful. I did have the evening to myself tonight so it was good to get some emotions out now. I did mention to her a while ago that we have been trying so hopefully she'll remember that and understand. I am excited to see her so I know it will be fine...but just in case I have the wine chilling now

I like Jaimie's idea about picturing an alien baby. Make sure you have an out to end the evening early if you need to. You have every right to hate on her a bit. It has nothing to do with her. It's the frustration and anger you have towards it not happening for you as quick as you want it.

 

[maxxiandniko]

I'm out this month. I'm 11 dpo and spotting already. I know I should look at the positive side and think at least I can try again sooner rather than later but I'm not happy at all. times 1000

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

maxxi I hate seeing all these cycles pass by for us 30 somethings TTC #1!!!

 

[parkgirl]

Oh, Maxx, I'm so sorry. Stupid witch.

 

[bonjo808]

just wanted to follow up. I had the visit w/ my pregnant friend tonight and I must say I'm pretty proud of myself...it was a little odd at first because I just didn't know what to say but I wasn't emotional. She was pretty humorous about being pregnant though, she said a few times that its not all its cracked up to be and had some funny stories so that helped ease my stress. Plus, her DH is deployed overseas right now, so I think it was nice for her to be able to talk about the pregnancy with some old friends. So that's when I decided that I would put all my fears and jealousy behind me for the night and openly talk about it with her and be excited for her. It actually even helped me be a little more positive about my own situation.

One interesting thing she did tell me (which she kinda hesitated) was that about every two weeks she has a dream that I am pregnant. She said its only been me and not anyone else so??? Not sure what that really means but I told her to send some of her babydust my way.

It was a nice evening and I'm glad I didn't chicken out!

 

[LuckyD]

Hi ladies.

Congrats JCfromKC!!

Bonjo- I hope the visit goes well. I think I would have a hard time with it. Probably be very torn between being very happy for her and jealous/sad at the same time.

Big hugs to everyone else. I hope you are all doing well.


DH and I have been very busy the past several days doing our best to catch that egg. I'm still super excited that I got a positive OPK this month. Really wasn't expecting it until next cycle.

Hurrah for the positive opk parkgirl! That's awesome. Fingers crossed for you love xx

I'm out this month. I'm 11 dpo and spotting already. I know I should look at the positive side and think at least I can try again sooner rather than later but I'm not happy at all. times 1000

Oh no, so sorry maxxi it's so hard, I know

maxxi I hate seeing all these cycles pass by for us 30 somethings TTC #1!!!

Me too

just wanted to follow up. I had the visit w/ my pregnant friend tonight and I must say I'm pretty proud of myself...it was a little odd at first because I just didn't know what to say but I wasn't emotional. She was pretty humorous about being pregnant though, she said a few times that its not all its cracked up to be and had some funny stories so that helped ease my stress. Plus, her DH is deployed overseas right now, so I think it was nice for her to be able to talk about the pregnancy with some old friends. So that's when I decided that I would put all my fears and jealousy behind me for the night and openly talk about it with her and be excited for her. It actually even helped me be a little more positive about my own situation.

One interesting thing she did tell me (which she kinda hesitated) was that about every two weeks she has a dream that I am pregnant. She said its only been me and not anyone else so??? Not sure what that really means but I told her to send some of her babydust my way.

It was a nice evening and I'm glad I didn't chicken out!

Well done bonjo! That's so great, and I am so glad that you are happy that you went through with it! Sound like you were an awesome friend. That's pretty strange about the dreams! Hmmmmmm....


I am in that horrible stage of knowing that AF will be coming soon but still having to wait...I am 11dpo today and think it's gonna happen tomorrow or the next day. Boo!!!

 

[JJay]

Hi Everyone,

Sorry Maxxi and LuckyD although it's still not over until the arrives.

Congrats on the +OPK Parkgirl, I hope you got some good BDing in! I've been away for 5 days without DH and just got a +OPK on the night I got back - so pleased I didn't miss it! I am 1DPO now and my LT is usually 11/12 days, how about you?

Well done Bonjo so many of my friends are pregnant at the moment, it can be really hard when they're all excited and you're jealous.

J x

 

[Springflower]

Hey Ladies

How are you all?

Well I am officially off the starting blocks. I started injecting on Tuesday morning. I was terrified at first, I think I said about 8 1,2,3's before I managed the 1st one. It hasn't really got easier but I'm managing so it's fine.

Feeling ab bit sorry for myself, but as I'm currently having the menopause induced, I'm not surprised!

Hope everyone is well. It's great to see JC got her postive! Think it's about time we had some more though, don't you ladies!

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

Hope everyone is well. It's great to see JC got her postive! Think it's about time we had some more though, don't you ladies!

Amen Sister! So glad you are getting your ICSI started, really hope it does the trick for you straight away!

Nice job on the visit Bonjo - glad it went better than you feared. I think it is super sweet she dreams that you are pg ~ that must have been comforting.

 

[maxxiandniko]

Thanks everyone for the . I have an appointment with my obgyn in a couple of weeks and even though it's a routine appointment I'll ask her if anything more needs to be done. I know she'll say no since all my labs are good and I did get pg twice. But still, why isn't anything working out in my favor, WTF?!?!?! Oh well, I can be pissed off all I want but it won't help the situation. A coworker is newly pg (not even out of her first trimester) and telling everyone and I'm thinking two things - WTF (again) and how nice it must be to get pg and tell everyone without any fear that something could go badly. Even if I got pg I'd spend the next 9 months scared to death that something would go wrong. My dogsitter's pg now which means, among other things, that I'll have to find a new sitter. I ran into an acquaintance who's 13 weeks (again no fear at all that anything will go wrong) and is concerned that A - her dog will be jealous and B - she'll be disappointed when she finds out she's having a girl because she wants a boy. I say nice position to be in!! Alright I guess that's enough.
Springflower - good luck
Bonjo - I'm glad the visit went better than expected.

 

[foxforce]

Hi everyone

Thought I'd say hi as just come across this group which applies to me

Just recently had mc on my first pregnancy first time ttc, been to epu today and told my hcg are 0 which is great, 9 days after mc started.

I have just opk tested this evening out of curiosity as had some left sided ovarian pain last two days and got a faint line! Which was a suprise as its right on cue with how my cycle was before I was pg as read after mc your cycles normally change to longer and unpredictable. So lets wait and see.

All the best of luck to you all and hopefully get to know you better [/FONT]