38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Dandi]

Left, I may take you up on that. I'm waiting to hear my results today!

 

[Left wonderin]

Wish they don't take bloods here or measure levels !! Actually they do nothing till 12 weeks when you have a booking appointment and ultra sound to date the pregnancy . So two lines on a test is all you get ! And 8 weeks of worry !! Keeping busy helps me not go crazy ! For sure I felt like time was running out for me with all that waiting !! I've a long road to go but I can't ask for a better start I'm trying very hard to not worry after all NOTHING I do now will change the out come for this LO but I'm so hoping they are here to stay

 

[Left wonderin]

Dani make sure and get the numbers !

 

[Left wonderin]

My friend had one LO with help of Ivf and started another one for no 2 . She was told her levles were a bit off and she has been puton medication for 6 weeks to bring her levels to the optimum level . She was told hers are within normal limits for a person not ttc but to give her the best chance with ivf they reccomed they are at optimum level.

 

[elliecain]

Hi. I've started reading through this thread but it's going to take me ages, so I thought I'd introduce myself first then get reading!

I've been stalking forums for a while, but just joined up today, as I am getting really down and need some support. My husband is struggling to know how to support me - his idea of support is to say that I need to stop thinking about it...!
I do get that he just doesn't know what to do, but he really doesn't understand the absolute, desperate desire to have a baby that is coursing through me all the time.

I'm 38 and my husband is 41. We got married 2 months ago (4 days after my 38th birthday) and have been ttc since January, so about 7 cycles now. We met 18 months ago and the quick wedding was partly due to both of us wanting kids and my needing to get a move on!

I have wanted children for as long as I can remember, but I went through some things during my 20s and early 30s that made a relationship impossible for me. I had almost given up on ever having my own family, when I met Robert. The fairytale is nearly complete...

The first few months of trying, I didn't have much idea about anything other than the need to bd in the middle of my cycle. On the third month my very regular 28 day cycle was cut short by 5 days. I am sure something happened and wonder if it was unsuccessful implantation. Then I had 2 28 day cycles again and the last 2 have been 27 days.

I have used advanced OPKs for the past 2 months and I started using the Fertility Friend app to chart things about 6 weeks ago. I finally got a BBT and starting temping about a week ago.

Last month, I had day 21 bloods done and this confirmed ovulation. I have an appointment with a hospital gynaecologist on 29th July (the day before my next AF is due) but Robert has to wait until November for a SA... I had to book this, as he kept "forgetting"...

AF 2 weeks ago was soul destroying. I honestly thought I had done everything and there was no reason for her to show up. I am quite a control freak (I'm a teacher!) and I find it really hard to accept that this is out of my hands. I can only do so much but the rest is up to mother nature. This is not something I am dealing well with and it is driving me crazy, especially as Robert doesn't want to talk about every detail of the process.

This month I am following SMEP, using preseed and have also got some softcups, though I am not too sure about these! We bd on CD7, CD10 and due to bd tonight and for the next few nights (CD12-14 - I should ovulate on Thursday, going by last 2 months) before a night off then a final bd.

I'm feeling quite positive, as I have read loads of success stories where people used preseed and also some good things about the SMEP. I just wish so much that my age wasn't relevant.

So that's me. Any advice to help me cope better with all this would be gratefully received. I'm currently struggling not to cry most of the time and am getting more and more obsessed with it all. Also, can anyone help with how I should talk to Robert about this so he gets how I feel?

Thanks xx

 

[Pothole]

Welcome Ellie. This is an incredible group of ladies and I think you will find loads of support here. If you don't mind me asking, what part of the world are you in? I ask because a simple test like an SA is done in office and takes less than a day to get results back. I cannot imagine why you would be pushed to November for that. Many Reproductive Endocrinology groups allow self referals. I qualified for immediate assistance due to my age at 36. If you love your obgyn at your visit, that's great. But if you feel like the treatment plan is not assertive enough, look into an RE. My REs office did my initial assessment, blood work on cd 3 and cd 21, my husband's SA, prescribed clomid, then femara, 3 cd 12 follicle scans, and two trigger shots of novarel. AF is due on 20 July and I'll start another round of Femara, have another scan, then get an iui, all in the same office. I am a complete control freak (also a teacher) and having the entire arsenal of baby making doctors in one place, with one chart, and one goal...it's very comforting. Plus, as much as I adore the BFPs on this forum, and I really do squeal like a little girl over them all; it's nice that there are not pregnant women in the waiting room. It would be a little heartbreaking to see a bunch of ladies about to give birth while I am waiting to drop my knickers in a cold room and endure the speculum.

 

[Mdc]

Good morning everyone!

Dandi, hope you got the results yesterday. How is the job hunt going?

Ellie, welcome to this lovely group and I second everything pothole said. Great group of caring and knowledgable young (pfftt...on this advanced maternal age BS ). My ob ordered the SA for my DH also (without seeing him) so maybe you could ask? Or, did you go through a urologist? We tried that first and they said it was going to be about a month wait. Yuck! Sounds like we both have pretty similar situations. We just got married in Oct and actively TTC since (now cycle 9), and it is so draining mentally and physically. My DH was not all that involved about knowing every little thing so I think it is normal for testerone driven thinking. It wasn't until this month after our first IUI DH really wanted to know everything. As for talking with him not sure there is a magic bullet, but keep trying to express your feelings and eventually they come around. Sounds like you are taking control as much as you can and I know it is hard for (us) control freaks (pointing at myself here) to have this being out of your control. Hang in there and we are here to support each other whether it is listening, laughing, crying, cheering, and giving advice.

Left, I might go crazy if when (see PMA) I get knocked up that they did not scan until 12 weeks! Glad you are keeping busy and cannot wait for you to start throwing up and stuff

Hello to everyone else!

DpIUI 5 and nothing but waiting around and taking to ziggie/blast. I did try an interval at home workout yesterday and man am I sore! Who knew jumping jacks, crunches, squats, and push-ups could make you sweat so much in a hour.

 

[elliecain]

Pothole, thank you so much for your reply and welcoming me... made me cry a bit to know I'm not going to be alone with this in my head any more.

I'm in the UK. I was shocked that we had to wait until November for the SA, which strikes me as a fundamental test that should be done immediately. I figured I'd ask at my hospital appointment in 2 weeks if it can be brought forward because of my age. If it is actually his little swimmers that need help, I could save myself a barrage of unnecessary nastiness and investigations.

Lol about being teachers. We really are control freaks! Robert is driven insane by it, but it does mean things get done... I planned our wedding myself and am now coordinating selling my flat and buying our first house together! My school breaks up for the summer on Friday. I can't wait... More time to focus on baby making and house buying... with some relaxation too!

Thanks again xxx

 

[Mdc]

Good morning everyone!

Dandi, hope you got the results yesterday. How is the job hunt going?

Ellie, welcome to this lovely group and I second everything pothole said. Great group of caring and knowledgable young (pfftt...on this advanced maternal age BS ). My ob ordered the SA for my DH also (without seeing him) so maybe you could ask? Or, did you go through a urologist? We tried that first and they said it was going to be about a month wait. Yuck! Sounds like we both have pretty similar situations. We just got married in Oct and actively TTC since (now cycle 9), and it is so draining mentally and physically. My DH was not all that involved about knowing every little thing so I think it is normal for testerone driven thinking. It wasn't until this month after our first IUI DH really wanted to know everything. As for talking with him not sure there is a magic bullet, but keep trying to express your feelings and eventually they come around. Sounds like you are taking control as much as you can and I know it is hard for (us) control freaks (pointing at myself here) to have this being out of your control. Hang in there and we are here to support each other whether it is listening, laughing, crying, cheering, and giving advice.

Left, I might go crazy if when (see PMA) I get knocked up that they did not scan until 12 weeks! Glad you are keeping busy and cannot wait for you to start throwing up and stuff

Hello to everyone else!

DpIUI 5 and nothing but waiting around and taking to ziggie/blast. I did try an interval at home workout yesterday and man am I sore! Who knew jumping jacks, crunches, squats, and push-ups could make you sweat so much in a hour.

 

[elliecain]

Thank you Mdc, our posts crossed. Fingers crossed for you, I hoped it works out. It's such a relief to know that other women have the same feelings. I was feeling like am obsessed freak until I started reading forums and then I knew I needed to join and stop lurking!
For the SA, the GP we saw gave us the number at the hospital for the Andrology Department and, when I called them, they said the current waiting list is for November... ridiculous!
Left, I've been reading your lovely success story and am so happy for you!
xxx

 

[Wish2BMom]

ugh, I had a long response (shocker, I know!) written earlier but got click happy and changed pages before I saved!

welcome, ellie - I third what the girls said. I love this group and they've been so supportive and knowledgeable and give you a good laugh when you need it most. One thing that helped me let go of some of my obsession is when I stopped temping - get a good idea as to when you O and then stop for about 10 days until the end of your LP. Then you can start again and see if your temps are still high or whatnot. Re: talking to DH - my DH isn't terribly involved in all of the TTC stuff. He's more like 'it'll happen or not - not in our control so why worry about it', so I try not to push him b/c pushing will cause aggravation. So I take care of the background details (or did before IVF). Once we started IVF, he became much more involved - asking how the meds were making me feel, watching the How To videos, etc.

mdc - terrible, isn't it? I have been emailing with the lady that owns the kickboxing gym that I was going to in March/April. I think I'm going to start that up again. Dreading the first day/week.

 

[Dandi]

Welcome Ellie! You have come to the right place for support. This is the best group of ladies ever, I'm so thankful for this thread.

Keep up that PMA Mdc! I have a such a good feeling for you this month. Let us know if you start symptom spotting!

I haven't heard from my doctor yet, but they have posted an update on the online portal they use. I have anti-tpo antibodies. I googled it and it's a good indicator of Hashimoto's, which the doctor has mentioned as a strong possibility. It also looks like they confirmed on my records that I do have the nodule on my thyroid. I'm relieved to know that something is off that could help explain so many things, but I'm anxiously awaiting a call so I can hear what it really means, get the details on all of other levels and see what our next steps will be.

 

[Wish2BMom]

good luck, dandi! sounds like you're on a great path to solutions!!

 

[sugargully]

Hi everyone! I take a few days off and I've missed so much.

Congrats Left!!! Brilliant news and H&H 9 months.

Welcome Ellie! My only advice for you is to know that men have a different perspective of ttc. If they BD once that month they think they've done their part!!! Just know he loves you even if he doesn't get all the details and nuances of this journey.

Afm- does anyone know how I can get my insurance to pay for uterine polyp removal? I'm hitting a brick wall and it's getting so frustrating.

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, that does make sense if you do have Hashimoto because that can even cause a MC. Hope the doc calls soon and gets you straightened up right away and then we can cheer on another successful thyroid baby!

Wish, so yeah still sore today, so I guess it is time to switch up my workout routine although I love me some elliptical. I read while I do it and right now I am reading the funniest book called 'the knockoff'. It is about a editor in chief of a fashion magazine that goes totally digital.

Sugar, each insurance is different, but it probably requires a prior authorization from your doc. Are the denying it because they say it does not need removal? Or, is it just you cannot even get that far to see why they won't remove it? You can PM me with the details of you want. I works with a healthcare insurance company now and I know sometimes it seems impossible to navigate, and you have to advocate for yourself.

Nothing much here, but I was messing with my ff chart and if I remove the big temp dip on CD14 it says I O'd on CD17. So maybe that makes more sense to me. So temping experts I know you are supposed to take the temp same time blah blah blah, but do you think 30 min to an hour earlier would make that big of a difference? Sometimes I wake up and would rather temp early than stress about trying to fall back asleep and the temps are messed up anyways. Either way fingers crossed it worked!

 

[Mdc]

Sugar, ugh typo. I 'work' with a healthcare insurance company. 'Works' sounds like I do not know proper grammar. Ha!

 

[Wish2BMom]

mdc - 30 mins/1 hr isn't that big of a deal and it's better than lying around waiting for the right time, b/c you'll probably be moving around and your BBT will raise. So I've read that even if you wake up a little earlier/later - just take it then.

 

[Dandi]

I usually assume I'm close enough if I'm within an hour range. I hope you were close enough in timing either way! I often wake up early bc of my husband's schedule or get up in the middle of the night with my dogs and try to sleep later in the morning to make it steady 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I'm sure super strict tempers think that's terrible though, lol. I'm going look into that book. I've been on a book binge tearing through everything from a favorite new author and I'm almost done. I've been looking for something to read next and that sounds entertaining.

I finally talked to the office, but didn't get much more info. I was just told about the antibodies and I have to go in next week for an ultrasound on my thyroid. I'll request a copy of my blood labs while I'm there, but it's looking like I won't get any real answers until my follow up visit for the ultrasound, which will be August due to my travel schedule. DH and i talked last night and we are just going to keep on keeping on until I'm told otherwise, just slightly more relaxed. Cd 15 now, peak opk yesterday (after all low opks, no highs preceding the peak...weird). Ewcm the past few days, big dip yesterday, but no spike today. So we're covering our bases, but not getting our hopes up. So anxious to get this ultrasound done.

 

[Left wonderin]

Dani if you remember I had an ultra sound in April for to diagnose me ! 2 months later all sorted knowing the problem is most of the battle you will be sorted in no time

 

[Dandi]

I couldn't remember if you had an ultrasound or not, thanks for the reminder! That's very encouraging!