38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Pothole]

Thanks Left! If the witch doesn't catch me tomorrow, then I will test Thursday. But I am determined to be calm and positive regardless of the outcome. Being a mother is my heart's deepest desire. And out of love for the child I will someday carry, I have to be good to myself. It doesnt make the waits any shorter. It doesnt make the the negatives any easier. But I don't want to look back someday and remember that magical beginning as a time of stress and anxiety. Adopting the Zen.

 

[krasavitsa147]

Star and Wish-Yeah, two cycle buddies! And Ellie as an almost cycle buddy! Sounds good to me...perhaps there shall be a crop of similarly timed bumps one day in the not too distant future!

Ellie-wow, 12 days ago and still no results? I would probably give them a call as well. That seems like a long time. Keeping my fingers crossed for a good value once you chase those results down.

Wish-it was an ok year for some veggies, some didn't do well at all, but my berries (straw-, blue- and rasp-) kicked butt this year. Now I have enough jam to feed a small army. Tomatoes did well, of course they did, the smell of them canning is GROSS and I only do it cause the marinara tastes so much better homemade! Now, if I could just figure out how to make wine.
Glad the witch is almost gone, and definitely with you on thank god the cramps have dissipated! It seems like the more time goes on (off the pill that is) the worse they get, but maybe that's just me.

Pothole/Ellie-I just want to say that you gals that teach are awesome. I know that I could never do it, and what you give to the kids is incredible. Kudos to both of you (and any other teacher ladies that I may have missed).

AFM, I feel really good atm. I have a lot to be thankful for. You all are so good at helping me keep my chin up. So bring it on, cycle 9!

My best to all the girls on the thread of awesome. Have a great evening!

 

[elliecain]

What lovely messages! You girls are so amazing and I'm really glad I joined this thread. It would be amazing if we got a load of bfps together... we'd have to all meet up with the little ones

I've got a bit of a nightmare... I've had small bouts of mild thrush over the past couple of months. It flared up again last week and I seem to have passed it to dh, who has now got balanitis. After my +opk today, we felt obliged to bd, even though it hurt us both!!! Not exactly ideal circumstances, but I've checked online and it's not dangerous or anything... Might need to pick up some canesten tomorrow.

 

[Dandi]

Sending good vibes your way Pothole!! I hope she doesn't show, but love your attitude if she does.

 

[Left wonderin]

Pothole what a fantastic way to look at it and so right too !!!!! I also used to think that every bfn I got was a step closer to my BFP

 

[Wish2BMom]

loving the zen attitude and reasons behind it, pothole. I'm totally going to adopt that - definitely something I can get onboard with!

krasa - that's an awesome harvest! we only have a little raised bed and i've gotten quite a few cherry tomatoes, one plum tomato so far, one cuke so far. There are plenty of tomatoes on the vines ready to redden and a couple more cukes. But my one zucchini died before it grew, my one pepper rotted. Ugh! oh well. I like taking care of it anyway.

ellie - that would be awesome to meet up with the LOs!! I vote Canary Islands!

I had my sono this morning - that SUCKED! she said that most people say it's better than the HSG and the HSG was a breeze for me. Apparently, my cervix was at an angle and also didn't want to open this morning. They had the speculum in there, forceps to hold the cervix at a better angle and then trying to get the catheter in there. Once it was finally in there, the speculum and forceps came out and the sono wand went in, they squirted the saline in while the wand watched for polyps and such. I felt every bit of it, unlike the HSG. She was apologizing profusely the entire time. Necessary evil, I guess.
Thankfully, all looked perfect and my lining is nice and thin. Ready to go for next cycle!
I also found out that the embryo from cycle 1 did have an extra chromosome (trisomy-16) so it's good to know that nature figured out it was abnormal and ended it on its own.

 

[Star2011]

I am loving the positive attitude in here.

Pothole am still rooting for you. I still love your outlook in all this.

Wish- Laparoscopy is do check for endometriosis, cysts and any scar tissues. Sono sounds painful. But glad everything is good.

Ellie hope the thrush go away quick. Did you get your results finally?

Krasa, Dandi, Sugar, Mdc, Left and anybody I missed hello.

 

[Mdc]

Sugar, so happy for you and good luck this month!

Krasa, yummy! I have always thought about making jam but you seem like a pro!

Pothole, I have everything crossed for you the AF stays away and love your PMA/zen attitude. I agree I really had nothing before my BFP just a couple twinges.

Ellie, ugh about the thrush and man you both have dedication so hopefully the medicine does the trick and BD will be easier.

Wish so sorry about the sono. Those forceps are medieval torture devices, but so happy everything is so positive. Bring on October baby! Literally....baby...October...bring it

Star, no lap/hysto for me, but so excited about all your next steps and cannot wait for your BFP!

Dandi, hope you appt goes well and enjoy your relaxed month!

Hello to everyone else!

I just wanted to let you all know I still stalk daily (sometimes more often )and am cheering each of you on! I cannot wait for all the good news to come steaming in. This is an amazing group of strong, amazing women and so lucky to be part of this group! All is good with me and little sweet pea not feeling too bad (yet). As Jessie put it I am like Goldilocks...I want some nausea but not too much...some tiredness but not too much, etc. Not demanding huh? LOL!

 

[Left wonderin]

Wish that sounds just awful !!!!!! I'm sad hearing about your LO but it is good to know that nature when causing suffering to some ( you and oh ) is preventing it for your LO. It doesn't make a loss any easier but I'm sure knowing why is of some comfort .

 

[Wish2BMom]

thank you, left - having remained 'logical' and 'scientific' about it all has really helped. I didn't get too emotional, never cried. Does that sound cold-hearted? I hope not. I would say one of our biggest fears is having a developmentally disabled child so I'm very thankful that my body is able to recognize when things are amiss and take care of business. I have every belief in the world that it will happen again for us and hopefully have a better outcome next time!

mdc - you are NOT kidding about medieval - that's exactly what I thought of about the speculum. I'm so glad you're stalking! I can't wait for all of us to reach your (and left's and kiley's) ranks and join you on the pregnancy journey! I would have included Jessie too but she's about to bust out a new baby!!
Yep, October BABY! I guess that would make it a July baby? oh geez, now I'm getting ahead of myself. What did I say about jinxing??

 

[Pothole]

My zen is already being tested my friends. I have a student in my class with a communicable illness that is very dangerous to expecting women. I felt like it was important to share with my principal that I am ttc. I know that we should not be in the same room and my thought was that the student would be moved to another classroom. Instead, I am being required to change classes with another teacher. All new students, new room, new everything. I am heartbroken. I have to remember that this is for my future child, but right now...it just sucks. The politics of the education are mind boggling.

 

[Left wonderin]

That's awful pothole !!! Will it be for long ????

 

[Pothole]

It will be for the entirety of the 2015/2016 school year. They feel like other arrangements can be made for next year, but for this one it is too late. Which doesn't make sense to me because students don't return till Tuesday, but it is what it is. I will try to be gracious about it. But for tonight, I am going to allow myself to be sad and grouchy.

 

[Wish2BMom]

i'm sorry pothole - you may feel so relieved when you see your BFP, either today or in the upcoming months.
speaking of.....

 

[Dandi]

That really sucks Pothole. But you're right to just get through it by keeping your end game in mind. It will be worth it when you have your healthy baby!

Wish- I'm glad you got some resolution as to what went wrong with your pregnancy. For me, knowing specifically what it was would make me feel.... not better, but more at peace with it I guess. I hope it helped give you some closure of some kind so you can fully focus on October!

I cheated just slightly and temped for 3 days around O just to see if I got a rise on the day that I was pretty sure ovulation happened. Other than that though, it has been so nice y'all! This month is 6 months since my mc and I guess I really just needed the break to not think about it. And oddly enough, this is the first month that I had ewcm without the mucinex or pre-seed assistance. I think the break was good for my body! I've even taken a semi-break from B&B to keep me from obsessing. I've also gone completely off of maca to see if that might have been effecting my cycle and causing my lp to be shorter. Dr's appt is one week from today and I'm so excited to see what's going on with the fibroid. When I was going to this doctor last year, she told me she'd want the first step to be an HSG if I was having trouble, but I don't know if that's still the next step now since I was able to get pregnant since then. Guess we'll see!

 

[elliecain]

Sugargully I'm really sorry the witch got you. I hope this month is your month!

 

[Pothole]

Dandi, it sounds like you've had a really good month! I know that break can be both wonderful and agonizing. It makes me happy that you've found your happy.

Wish, you crack me up. Okay, so here's the deal. I did test this morning and got a bfn.
BUT...it wasn't fmu. Not by a long shot and there wasn't anything close to 4 hours between trips to wc. I cried off and on all night and barely slept, so it was probably the 8th time I'd gone since midnight. Still no sign of the witch, though. I went to tea after school with a colleague and I was certain, I mean, 1000% SURE I'd started. I even trailed behind her in case I'd had leakage through. I got home and nothing. Not the faintest sign that it's even on the way.
I still think it's coming. I have no pregnancy symptoms at all. I don't have my usual random acne that comes with my period, but my lower hips ache, which is occasionally a sign cramps are coming. I just don't know. Before fertility drugs I was a solid 28 day girl. No more, no less, and always before 8 am. Since the clomid and femara cycles, I've been running at 25ish. Today is 27. Maybe my body has adjusted to the meds and is back on 28? Who knows?
While this class change is not something I sought out or wanted at all, I have made my peace with it. I've taught all these children before, it's just been years. I will give them all I've got because they deserve a teacher who is fully engaged. But my principal did do one really amazing thing for me. She knew how heartbroken I was, so she gave me my Dude. After 6 years, Dude and Lolly are reunited in the classroom! I can't wait to see his sweet face! And bless, his attention span is so short, that every single day he will be completely surprised to see me! Love!!!!

 

[Pothole]

Update: Witch just caught me. Since its so late in the day, tomorrow is technically cd1. I'll start round 3 of Femara on Sunday.

 

[elliecain]

Oh Pothole, I'm so sorry. It's so mean when your hopes are raised by it not coming on the day you expect. Fx for this cycle.

Afm, my temp shot up this morning, so looks like I'm onto the 2ww. Not going to be like last month's horrible 2 weeks... We are here in the Canaries until Wednesday and then get the keys to our new house, so a few days of moving (nothing too heavy for me!!!) then nesting. On Thursday, I've also got cd21 bloods and my Year 11 students get their GCSE results, so big day! I found out why I don't have my cd1 results... Because they were requested by the specialist, they go back to her and not my GP surgery.

In other news, DH just told me that he dreamed that he was in hospital with me last night... and I gave birth to a baby girl!!! Plus, we have a name we like for each gender and they are really unusual names (DH family is from the Isle of Man). Anyway, waking around the town yesterday, I saw a clothes shop AND a driving school both with the girl name! It feels like massive signs to me

 

[Dandi]

Hate that she got you Pothole. Onward and upward to a new cycle with more knowledge than the last!

Ellie, I hope those signs come to fruition for you! Great positivity. Share the names if you feel like it, but I know some people like to keep it private. I just have an obsession with baby names and what people pick. Even all the way back in the 5th grade, my science project was on baby names and their effect on people's lives. I think it's because I hate my name and have never felt that it fit my personality. Anyway, I'd love to hear what your little future bean will be called, good luck!