38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Wish2BMom]

ahhh, mdc, I didn't realize you got them back already. Well that just sucks - no real answer as to why things didn't work out. I'd be researching stuff too and would def have those tests done! Def wouldn't hurt, that's for sure.

dandi - your tests sound great so far! Good luck on the rest of the the results, keep us posted. Good to know that glucose test wasn't as awful as people make it out to sound. And that's awesome to know you and DH aren't both carriers of anything significant. It's quite a relief that you don't have that hurdle to get over too!

ellie - :wave:

afm - got the call from the office yesterday afternoon - we are just going to keep continuing with the current dosage. I don't quite get it but they keep saying 'it's still early'. Well, when the hell is 'not early' or 'too late'?? Anyway - I was still spotting a tiny bit yesterday but not today, so maybe I'm on the upswing now. I have to go in for another scan tomorrow morning at 8:30 (yikes, the morning after my 3rd concert!!) at the office that's an hour away b/c it's a weekend. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm wishing like hell we see some growth.
I was able to do my injections in the House of Blues bathroom last night! HAHA sorta felt like a junkie with a divine purpose!

I hope you're all having a great weekend!!

 

[Left wonderin]

Haha wish this one off the bucket list .... " shooting up at a concert " ......... Check !

 

[Wish2BMom]

Hahaha I told DH that I felt weird doing the injections in the bathroom, setting everything up on top of the TP roll holder. His response: "as you should!!"

 

[krasavitsa147]

Excellent news, Sugar! So glad to hear things went well. That is interesting that you also were spoken to about DV. I was asked many pointed questions as well. I know that if the staff suspect that, my clinic will not go forward with IVF. I would assume non-IVF-ers get the same discussion. I wondered if it was everywhere, or some places, or just my clinic. Glad too that you were able to open up to OH and he was supportive of you.

Wish-keeping everything crossed for you. Please, follies, kick it in gear. Can't imagine what you're thinking/feeling. Being my high-strung self I would be freaking out. I hope that you get some growth on today's scan (or is it tomorrow? Now I can't remember.) I am sending you all the PMA and mojo I can muster. Loved the bathroom at the concert imagery-we just do what we gotta do!

Dandi-sounds like things are rolling along for you! Keep us posted. Very excited for you.

Mdc-Sorry there was no clear cut reason that your doc could give you. And ugh, I cannot imagine finding out LO's gender that way. I too would have needed time to prepare for that news. I really believe you'll be finding out gender in a different way soon enough!

Hi Ellie-Hope you're doing well, dear.

Star-How are things in your neck of the woods?

Smithco-I don't know if you're reading along lately, but I'm still thinking of you and hoping you're doing ok.

Left, CaliChristine, justme, and anyone else I might have missed-hope your weekend was grand and that you're all doing well.

afm, playing the waiting game. Spent almost three hours on Friday on the phone with my insurance company to get transferred all over creation and three different answers to the same question. Figures. My clinic says that they will figure all the benefit stuff out and call me before appts if I will have a balance to pay that day, but I'm going to have to do some account juggling to get all the funds lined up. Thank god, I can come up with the money, so I'm counting my blessings there.
DH is taking this kind of hard. I think I accepted the idea that IVF/ICSI was probably going to be the way we have to go several months ago and the last appt was just confirming that suspicion. He was not on that page so this has been hard, finding out that the issue is him and that there's no way around IVF. He was reading about side effects of the stims, risk factors for OHSS, etc and was literally crying. There was one point this past spring where he said he was not worried, as it "wasn't easy" to conceive the two kids he had with his ex-wife. He was really torn up over that comment this weekend knowing what I'll be going through trying to conceive his child. So, I did a lot of DH-calming type of activities this weekend. Reminding him of the positives, how we are lucky in a lot of ways even though this is the way it's playing out.

Whew, a novel! Have a great week ladies. Much love to all of you!

 

[Star2011]

Happy Monday Ladies,

Wish- junkie with a divine purpose...that was funny and true. Glad it was done. Good Luck today. Thinking about you and sending some juju magic to those follies today!

Krasa good job calming DH. I feel we are all strong in this ttc journey. We have to be strong for ourselves and for them too. Am glad you are able to work out insurance stuff to get the process going.

Mdc and Dandi- its good you all got your test results back and it seems good so far. Hoping for more good results with any upcoming procedure or test.

Mdc- am sorry on you hearing the news you didnt want to hear. Am sure from your email they will probably know how to handle such news.

Dandi you have your hsg coming up?

Ellie thinking about you too.

Hope everyone else had a good weekend.

Afm, my weekend was good. On sat went to DH's college football game and they lost. Anyway we expected them to because they were playing MSU, #2. We then hanged out with friends. This is week 3 since my procedure, 3 more weeks left then i ll be back in the game. I have my RE appt today then having lunch with DH. Thats all that is going on with me.

Hope you ladies have a good Monday.

 

[Dandi]

Krasa, that makes me so sad for your husband. As hard as it is for us women to deal with the news that it's not going to happen the easy way, I think it's harder for men. I think it's natural for them to just expect to be virile and procreate. And for him to feel worried about what you're going to have to go through, bless him.

Star, sounds like you're feeling much better and can't wait for the next 3 weeks to be over with! Good luck at the RE today, I hope it goes great!

Wish, was your scan yesterday or today? I'm anxious for an update and hope you saw some growth!

Afm, hsg is scheduled for Wednesday. I'm pretty nervous about it. I have a feeling that if anything is wrong, this will be it. For some reason I have a feeling that my scar tissue is the problem and that this test will prove that. I really don't want to have any other surgeries before moving forward. Then the following Wednesday, we go back to meet with the doctor and go over all of the results to hear what the plan is going to be. I have a girls weekend planned the weekend after that, so it it's bad news at least I'll have something to distract me. And if it's good news, it will be a celebration.

 

[Wish2BMom]

good morning, girls!

krasa - awwww, I feel so bad for your DH! The weight of the world is on his shoulders right now. I'm glad you were able to do some calming stuff with him this weekend. i swear, and I'm sure you all feel the same, i would so much rather me be the issue than him. Not that it's 'better' per se, but I don't want my DH to feel any guilt over this.

star - so glad you're 1/2 way through your healing! 3 weeks will fly by, can't wait to have you back in the game.

sugar - how are you feeling?

dandi - when is your scan again? So excited for you to get through all of your tests and get a plan in place.

mdc - how did Operation Devour DH go this weekend?

kiley - how are you feeling? I haven't seen you much on the Bump Buddies thread - I hope you're doing ok! one month!!

left - how are you feeling? 2nd tri now, are you feeling more 'normal'?

justme - how are you doing?

pothole - any updates?

everyone else - :wave: I hope you're all well!

afm - I had another scan yesterday morning, at a different office since it was Sunday. The lady was like 'ummm...do they have trouble finding your ovaries usually?' WHAT?? So she had me press down on my sides to move things into place. I still have no idea what she saw but she measured something on each side. When I got the call, they were much clearer - there are a couple on each side, one of which is measuring at 10.2. We went to reach 11 before we call them 'maturing' so that's good. And my lining thickness went up from 3 to 6.2. And my estrogen was up from 45 to 75. So there IS some rise in everything, just a slow burn, as the nurse put it. I'll go back in again tomorrow morning for another scan and bloodwork. That's probably going to be my whole week, this week.
And, get this - my appt was so early that I figured I would stop and pick up some breakfast sandwiches on my way home. So I went to this place nearby but not that I usually go to. After my awesomely uninformed early appointment, I walk into this place and bump into not one, but TWO ex-boyfriends. GOOD TIMES. Just let me and my phantom follies get my breakfast and get the hell out of here!! Thankfully, I don't actually speak to them but I had the initial 'spook' you get when you see someone you weren't expecting to. Ugh. My life is a comedy of errors sometimes!

 

[Dandi]

Do you have any indication of how long they can let you keep on with the "slow burn" before retrieval? The lining and estrogen are great signs, I hope those follies have a great growth spurt this week!

 

[Wish2BMom]

yeah, I think they want lining up to at least 8. I was at 11 last time, which she called 'perfect'. I wonder if they started me stimming too quickly, or if this has ANYTHING to do with my 2nd AF post-mc being on cd25 (super early). Also, my AF I had after getting off of BCP didn't start right away - it started the same day as I started stimming and was the normal 5-ish days. So my lining wasn't bound to start to thicken up until a couple of days after that. So hopefully things will pick up today/tomorrow.
I did ask how long they would let me go until they cancel it, and how many follicles needed to present themselves (not really worth doing the expensive retrieval for 2 follies, I'd think) and he said that each doctor has their own strategies (which prob also depends on the patient), so he didn't really know the answer to that. But for now, my doc is seeing a rise, so we'll keep on keepin' on. And I'm already on an aggressive amount of Gonal-F, so there's no need to increase it.
This is certainly a lesson in patience for me. Again. DH doesn't think I should waste my energies on being frustrated - I asked him 'don't you think I have a right to be frustrated, injecting thousands of dollars of meds into my stomach and my body NOT doing what it's supposed to do??' and he just responded with 'sometimes it doesn't work for people and there's nothing we can do'. ARGH! Why does he have to be so logical??

 

[Dandi]

Logic is so annoying when you just want to be angry. Men don't get that, lol.

 

[Justme43]

Good Afternoon Ladies,

Nothing too much exciting to report on this end. Still waiting for AF to show up. In the meantime, getting my body in shape and eating better.

Just got out of a 2.5 hour meeting at work.. and I am looking forward to putting some miles in today to clear my head.

Have a great day and baby dust to you all.

 

[sugargully]

Hey everyone,

All I read is good progress on here. Makes me think I'll have some bump buddies really soon! Afm: I'm feeling okay. Nauseous every waking hour but that's a good thing, right?!?!

 

[Dandi]

That's great Sugar!

 

[Wish2BMom]

i'm a big believer in that being a GREAT thing, Sugar!!!

 

[Mdc]

Krasa, so sorry DH is taking it so hard, but it sounds like you are there for him and making him feel better.

Star, I hope you appt goes well, and wow...already half way down. I bet DH is getting excited

Dandi, I hope your HSG goes as well as mine did, no biggie at all with a clean bill of health. And yeah for a girls weekend!

Wish, so glad your body is revving up. Come on follies...giddy up! Sorry it is frustrating, but the best things are always worth the wait, or so I hear (speaking from one inpatient person to another) Omg, two ex-BF at the same time. So glad I moved to Oakland when I met DH, and never have to worry about that.

Just, come on AF let's get the show on the road!

Sugar, totally a great sign. I am hoping that it sticks around for you even though it has to suck. They say those with ms have a better outcomes. See that is the kind of bnb friend I am...I want you to have ms. Ha!

Hi everyone else!

So project devour was a success! Somehow FF gave me my first ever solids cross hairs, but on CD15 I never O that early, but I guess that was to be expected after a mc. So we only got one in before O. Oh well we tried, and it was good to be back to just us without pressure. Now I am just dpo3 and the wait begins. Looking at the calendar now scares me because there are so many conflicts over the next 3 months if FF is right. I have a work trip right in the middle next month and then potential Os after that are on turkey day and Christmas if nothing changes. SERIOUSLY! What are the odds!!! So now I am hoping for a long LP this month or later/earlier Os in the next couple of months, but I would take a super sticky natural BFP. And so the saga continues.

 

[Dandi]

It only takes the one, so who knows what could be in store this month Mdc! I'm glad you're back at it. =)

I'm also glad I'm not the only one who looks ahead and starts stressing about potential O days months in advance.

 

[Wish2BMom]

hahaha we're all just a bunch of stressballs, huh? A friend of mine conceived on Thanksgiving and she goes 'well...what can I say? I am a sucker for a good turkey dinner!'

so glad you were able to time things right, mdc. Did you get any in after O at all? Your one-two punch from IUI did it right.

for those about to do IVF, I found out today that I shouldn't have been working out last week. I was going to go to kickboxing tonight but called to ask first. She said 'you can walk or go for a leisurely bike ride, but no running or any crazy workouts with stuff like jumping jacks or anything.' Soooo, there go my workouts for now. I hope that's not what was slowing things down last week. Who knows - I guess it's just a different cycle. I need to stop trying to figure out why it's slower this time.

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, oh yeah super paranoid about upcoming cycles. We have been able to manage not missing one yet so it is unfortunately bound to happen. Wah!

Wish, oh yeah plenty of bding the days after O so the only day we missed was the actual O day. Shucks! So glad you asked about the exercising. Did they say why? I am sure this cycle is just different. Different in my mind=super sticky bean to make you big and preggo and with loads of nausea!

So I have officially been drained like never before. They took 13 vials of blood. Good thing I don't mind getting my blood drawn. I asked the tech what her record was and she said 17, so close

 

[krasavitsa147]

Star-Three more weeks will fly by-excited for you to be back at it. Hopefully you're healing well. Even if your DH's team lost, going to college football is usually fun.

Dandi-I know, my heart is breaking for him. He wants a child every bit as much as I, and to know things worked before and now don't...it's getting him deep down inside. Tough for him to shake off but he's doing his best. GL with your hsg-I've read that there may be an increase in fertility for a couple of cycles after one. Praying for good news there and glad you're getting the plan together next week.

Wish-Completely agree with what you're saying about not wanting our OHs to feel guilt and/or pain over this-I wish I could take it from him. Very, very glad to read that things are looking well with you! Yeah! Go lining, and go follies, keep it up! Sorry you had to bump into exes though-very few things suck more than that...and I would be frustrated too. I'm not a very patient person, and sometimes, it just shows. But I think expressing it is good for you right now.

Justme-hope AF shows for you soon, and good for you on keeping up your activity and making improvements to your diet. It'll pay off!

Sugar-I'm thinking that's a great thing.

Mdc-Project Devour-love it! 13 vials of blood?!?! Holy crap! Hopefully they gave you a cookie or some juice or something after that...

Pothole-how are you doing?

Left, Ellie, everyone else on our thread of awesome-hope Monday has treated you well.

Not much going on here. I think the next few weeks leading up to my appt are going to feel like torture...moving very slowly.

 

[elliecain]

Thanks for the positivity, all of you. Sorry I've been rubbish at posting.
I'm feeling really hopeful today, as my temps are now mirroring last cycle, which ended with a bfp! I've got to try to hold out until Friday to test, AF due on Thursday and I've always been really regular. There is a part of me that is scared that my temps and cycle are playing tricks on me after the mc, but it was such an early one that it may have had no effect on things, apart from some really rocky temps pre-ovulation.
I've spent the last 3 and a half weeks avoiding thinking too much, but now it is nearly time to know again, I'm getting really obsessed and excited again! I am also scared that it could go the same way, but I can't stop that except by looking after myself the best I can, so I'm determined to try to be zen...
Please, please, please... I want this so very much.
Love to all xx

edit: here's the overlay... what do you reckon? Blue is BFN, purple is BFP and green is this cycle...
https://i58.tinypic.com/1zp6s11.png