38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Star2011]

Pothole- I also have a feeling its two in there.....we are all excited for you.

Mdc- C'mon O! Almost there though. Yes Mdc, this is my last natural cycle before IVF. I had a consult in September last year but I called them again beginning of this year to update them on my situation. I have to call them again when my periods start.

Wish- Am sorry about the extra pounds. I am excited about your being PUPO in a couple of days. Take it easy with work. We don't want you to be stressed!

Dandi- All will be well with the genetic testing. I am optimistic

Ellie- Hoping for the best this cycle.

Hello to everyone else.

I started having mild cramping today and it feels like AF cramps. I am not sure what is going on because I am CD23 which is 7-8dpo roughly. Well, we will see by end of this week.

 

[Star2011]

Pothole I hope your kitty feels better soon

 

[Mdc]

Wish, don't worry about being a segment off....we are always waiting for something right Cannot wait for you to be PUPO!

Ellie, I like you idea of not setting a date, but just check when you are ready GL!

Pothole, great levels and so excited for your ultrasound. Be calm mamma...this is really happening! Glad your kitty is fine too.

Star, interesting early cramps. Maybe a little bug getting snug? Either way you are set and you always seem so zen. Can you send some my way? Ha ha ha!

Fi, hope you are hanging in there.

And of course hello lovely preggos!

Cd13 and still no sign of O, but I have to remember I never got a positive opk this early so why stress right? I should have a temp drop tomorrow or the next and then on to O. Yippee! I swear girls I have been having the weirdest dreams for like 4-5 days and they are all about babies. Never the same child sometimes a girl (I think) and then definitely ones about baby/toddler boys. Last night I was talking to a blond curley hair toddler while laying on our bed with the covers over us (kind of like a fort) and I asked him what I could do to make things better and he said get a bigger house so he doesn't have to share a room with his sister and I said this place was only temporary (our 900sq ft condo). LOL! It was such a real dream. I have been pretty relaxed this past week...maybe acu helped...maybe I just have a feeling it will happen sooner or later and I need to stop being so type A so I can just relax and listen. Well cheers to relaxation (at least for now until I spiral to crazy town again ).

 

[Fi Last]

Thanks for the sympathy and advice guys. You ladies are lovely - but you knew that, right?

Pothole - having somewhere to bring my hurt/crazy self is very, very helpful - I'm really touched by that comment. And huge congrats on the betas. My fingers are crossed for you for Thurs (no need of course though: the stats are very much on your side). And also, so pleased to hear that your little cat is better too. I'm an unabashed crazy cat lady, so I know exactly how you feel.

Wish - thanks for the sympathy and shares. Keeping my fingers crossed for you, for both of your TWWs, and echoing what others are saying: you are still young. Let's support each other in promoting relaxation. Panic never used to be a big thing for me until I was ttc. Stress yes, but panic no. I think it's because I'm now stressed about the stress, so there's a risk of spiralling. My strategy at the moment is about trying to get perspective. It's just a job, and things are almost certainly going to be ok.

Dandi - sending out good luck vibes to you. I have to admit that I'm not sure what ACE means, but just looked up PUPO - I like it!

Mdc - thanks so much for the "safe space" comment. I have indeed been feeling pretty bad recently (OK yes, crazy), and a bit of confession and kindness really helps with that. (You are totally right about my bosses too...ha). Loving hearing about your dreams - bring on the O!

Star - the timing of those cramps sounds promising!
"ttc is not for the faint hearted" - you are so right, I wish I'd been a bit better prepared. Pregnant women in the media always seem so...serene. My pg reality was much more about panic, fatigue and gas - but I guess no one ever sold a product that way

Ellie - your temps sound good! Sending baby vibes in your general direction.

afm
Those who have asked about my job; good points, but sadly I can't change departments, and don't really trust that telling would make things better - at the risk of sounding paranoid, I suspect that it might even make things worse. I think I'm just going to have to come up with some psychological strategies to manage how I respond. Seems like I'm in a good place to get pointers on that, so there's a positive thought to start off with.

Outside of work, things are somewhat better than before. I've gone from "all down" to a mixture of ups as well as downs, including a night of silly giggling with my OH yesterday (anyone else get the giggles after a period of really bad stress?).

Blood clotting tests have just come back normal, which is good. Plus I *think* I might be O-ing (can't confirm with OPK, due to recent pg, but I have my reasons...). That would mean that I should get AF in a couple of weeks, after which I can hopefully have my final scan, and really move on.

 

[Dandi]

Sorry for the confusion Fi! Ace is the nickname of Wish's frozen embie who has been hanging out waiting his turn for a few months. We're all very excited for Ace to get his chance later this month.

 

[Wish2BMom]

hahahaaha thanks, Dandi!! yep, our little frozen 'ace in the hole'

star - I'm really trying hard not to get excited about your cramping being TOTALLY ALIGNED with a possible implantation!!! eeee! (guess I'm not succeeding very well)

pothole - HOLY CRAPOLA, you little overachiever!!! that's an amazing beta and I really hope you have twinsies in there too!!! both Wait! and What??! can you imagine??
I'm glad kitty is ok too - we were at the vet at the same time. I had to take mine back in b/c I saw more blood in her urine last week. She seems to be much better now, though, and they didn't see any stones in her bladder in the xray, so we'll see if anything else comes up.

mdc - hurry up and O, would ya?? j/k My gosh, i'm so tired of these waiting games.

fi - I totally get where you're coming from - we'll most certainly help with coping points if we can. I get that it might work against you to be open with your bosses, and quite frankly that sucks. But it's not uncommon.

I'm so glad I've had this office makeover the past few days to keep my mind off of things. Oh! I'll post a pic below. New desk arrived today! I don't know that I want to keep it set up with the desk facing the windows or try to move this thing more into the middle of the room facing out, back facing the wall on the right. I dunno - this thing isn't the lightest thing, though, so I will get a work out moving it around tonight!

speaking of room makeovers - left, did you ever decide on a nursery theme? I thought you were mentioning a cute stuffed bear? sugar - are you planning any of this yet? names? I can ask in the Bump Buddies thread too if you guys are more comfortable over there.

here's my office:

 

[Left wonderin]

Wish is that snow outside your window . Lovely room btw have not started doing any re decorating yet .... I had better get a move on !!!

Mdc loving those dreams and the PMA I think your right its only a matter of time

 

[Wish2BMom]

it sure is snow - only a light layer but maybe more coming tonight and this weekend.

 

[Dandi]

I LOVE that desk!

 

[Mdc]

And I love the color!

 

[Pothole]

Darling ladies, if it's two, you are all going to have to move to SC and be my village because DH will have a coronary on the spot.

 

[Wish2BMom]

pothole, I literally just laughed out loud at that!

dandi/mdc/left - thank you!! Now I just need the beautiful matching bookcase with glass window doors "need", right?
then I'll get laid off and not work from home anymore. HA!

 

[elliecain]

Wish, It's a really nice desk, big and comfy looking.

I'm so unsure this cycle and the nma is creeping in. Can someone reassure me that the 3 day temps dropping doesn't mean I'm out. I'm still way above the cover line and I blame the huge spike after the dip for making things look bad afterwards. I was just so hoping for my temps to go up again today but they didn't. It's agony because I've seen this pattern so often before. Maybe it won't end in the inevitable this month? Can someone help to prop me up please?

 

[Left wonderin]

All I can say is the month I got my BFP with Sean I got a huge spike .. Not wanting to give false hope but just saying .. Ill see if I can find it

 

[Wish2BMom]

i'm with left - the spike itself could mean something, not just the plunge. So if you took away the spike, you'd still be cruising high with the rest of your month. I'd say you're still looking good!!
are you feeling anything else? still crampy?

 

[Dandi]

If I've learned anything on this journey it's to not put too much stock into your temps! The slightest thing can effect them and when we focus on our temps we obsess over the exact location, curve, dip, spike, etc, and I've read so many times that the real goal to is just find the broad pattern. And lets be honest, none of us are looking at a broad pattern when temping, we analyzing every single temp day by day driving ourselves mad. It was such a relief to me when I stopped temping after confirming O. The rest of the month just makes you crazy. Don't give the temps too much power Ellie!

 

[Left wonderin]

I also agree

 

[elliecain]

Thanks all.
Got brown blood on cervix and bad backache so not looking good. 22/23 day cycle this time. I'm going to get bloods done on Friday and ask for private referral to specialist. FML

 

[Pothole]

Ellie I had full on cramps, backache, acne...the works. And the brown blood could very well be implantation. I can't offer any help with temps because I never sleep 4 consecutive hours, so temping was pointless for me. But I wouldn't give up hope yet. I'm crossing everything for you!

 

[Wish2BMom]

ellie - I see you flipped your chart. Did AF come full on or are you still just seeing brown? I'm with pothole - she ain't here until she's HERE. FX'ed and hon.

I'm also having a lot of spotting but whatever. I didn't have a very long or full AF this time (maybe starting the estrace so early...?) so it's probably just leftover from that.