38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Wish2BMom]

YES! YES! YES!!! I'm so excited for you!!! And really happy that you got such a great sleep!
yup - as the girls said and always say, we are here for you in the good and the bad and the stark raving mad.
First one of the new year! let's start a trend!

hello to everyone! have a happy Tuesday!

 

[elliecain]

That is so awesome Pothole! What impressive doubling... Maybe both the little ones have nestled in! Come on bfps, we deserve a whole heap of them now!

 

[Left wonderin]

Pothole you are totally forgiven !!!! Eeeek I'm so excited for you !!!!!! Great numbers
Get used to the tiredness and hormonal craziness !! Its here to stick around for quite some time lol... All part of this crazy crazy journey !!

Ellie I second your post come on BFP we want an epidemic of them in the next 3 -6 months
Ive got a feelin....... Just saying lol...........

 

[Pothole]

I love you ladies. I am so glad I found you all. 2016 is our year, girls. These bfps are about to start flooding in. I just know it!

 

[krasavitsa147]

Pothole, that is smashing news! Love numbers like that!

I agree, ladies, I feel a rush of BFPs coming on!

Love to all my amazing sisters.

 

[Mdc]

Pothole, when is your next appt?

Krasa, good luck with your appt tomorrow!

Star, Wish, Ellie, Fi...I agree let's keep the BFPs coming.

 

[Pothole]

Tuesday at 3:30. I had some spotting this morning, very dark brown, and quickly gone. RE told me not to worry, it's very common. I probably wouldn't have believed that except I'd read it here, too. He said my estrogen was better Monday than it had been on Thursday, but he'd like it higher. Upped my estradiol so now I'm taking 3 pills in the am, 3 in the pm, and 2 vaginally before bed. Gotta be honest, kind of icked out that those can go either way.
Thinking of you Krasa!

 

[Left wonderin]

Pothole I had brown spotting at 5/6 weeks with Sean . Was told its left over implantation bleeding . Brown blood is old blood

 

[Pothole]

You know, that reminds me...I need to ask how far along I'm considered. I genuinely have no idea.

 

[Star2011]

Good morning bnb friends,

Pothole 1 am glad things are progressing well. It's good you have ladies here who have gone through the same thing as you for encouragement. When is your next appt? Just as Ellie said, maybe there are two LO in there. Am excited just thinking about it.

Krasa all the best with your appointment today. Please update after.

Wish- thinking of you as you get ready for the FET. Or did you already do it?

Ellie, i think we are close in our cycles. Hope all is going well.

Mdc- Did you start Femara already? Where are you at in your cycle.

F1- Hows the going?

Left, Sugar, Dandi hoping all is going well.

I hope I didn't miss anybody.

AFM, I am cd 18- 1-2 DPO. I didn't do much on my fertile week but you never know with ttc. I am supposed to test on January 16-17. Hoping for the best.

Its been busy with the holidays and stuff and hope we are back on track with updates on ttc.

 

[Mdc]

Good morning everyone from rainy California.

Star, you are right you never know with TTC, so best of luck and fingers crossed!

Pothole, still so stinking happy for you!

Hi everyone else.

Last day of Femara and I am willing my ovaries to participate this month. To tell you the truth I struggled yesterday with PMA. I started going in a mind spiral...what if this does not work...had a horrible thought about what if I start to mc on a plane what are you supposed to do....how is this ever going to happen...what if it works this time and something goes wrong chrimosomally...maybe I should I just jump to IVF/PGS. See, death spiral there. I was able to walk logically through it in my head and feel somewhat better. But ugh!

Well I am still going to power through and Left, Sugar, Dandi, and Pothole are perfect examples how it will happen for all of us.

 

[Left wonderin]

Mdc its hard when the NMA sneaks its way in to our heads . Its a powerful beast when it takes hold!!!!!!! If it helps I 100% believe that everyone on this THREAD WILL have a baby . I think it is all about not IF but WHEN . Which is hard enough ! Waiting is tough .... Waiting for your turn tougher ! But it will come ....... So kick the NMA outit has no place here. PMA PMA ...... Xxxxxxxxx

When I was trying after my mc I had a thought that really helped me .... It was that EVERY CYCLE even the ones that didn't work brought me one cycle closer to the one that was going to work for me it really helped ... Well that and the glass of wine lol

 

[Star2011]

Mdc, it is going to work this year. I also keep on telling myself that it is going to work. Once in a while negative thoughts sneak in but we are not going to let those thoughts win. I second what Left said. PMA all the way here! We have come a long way for it not to work. It will work out!

 

[Wish2BMom]

hi girls!
pothole - still out of my mind happy for you. Good luck at the next appt! when do you have an u/s? at that appt? I want to know if you have 2 sacs in there!

krasa - how did yours go today?

mdc - girl, i hear you. it's hard not to get into those death traps. I find myself doing that when I wake up at odd hours of the night. Somehow, it's easier to get into this weird negative trance at that hour of the night/morning. During times when DH and I are fighting, I've brought myself to the point of thinking we should divorce! I literally have to take a deep breath and snap myself out of it!

star - FX'ed that you still managed to catch the egg!!!

left - I love your pep talks!!! thanks for always being the best e-big sister for us!!

Fi - how are you doing?

hello to everyone else!

afm - AF is starting as we speak, so no dice on the freebie. Let's go Frozen Ace! I'm assuming we'll consider tomorrow cd1, so I'll start Estrace and baby aspirin. Transfer will be 1/27. Now I gotta talk my team out of making me go to Pitt that week, unless I just go for 2 days. That would be ideal.

Not-so-positive-but-realistic rant warning...kinda to go along with your NMA thoughts Mdc -
I guess DH is kinda making me be realistic about things, like the longer we go, the less likely it is to work out. I hope that's not being Debbie Downer to you guys. But now that I'm 40, I'm just trying to keep that in mind. We'll still try our hardest and be optimistic about the assistance we're getting and that we're trying everything we can (or want to). I'm still going to be as positive as I can for each cycle, sa needed. And when/if we do conceive, we have more help with progesterone, etc. So all of the help is there, we just need it to work first. And that happening has a definite expiration date as of the end of 2016. So I'm just trying to balance keeping things in check as well as PMA.

 

[Dandi]

Big to you all! The negative nellies will creep in sometimes no matter how much we fight it, but fight it we must!

 

[Wish2BMom]

thanks, dandi!

oh and mdc, I meant to say how happy I was to read that it's raining in CA! MUCH needed and I know that's a vast understatement.

 

[Mdc]

Thank you everyone! Again you all are the best and totally get it. If I told DH all my worries he would probably call me to a place with padded walls.

Wish, sorry about AF again, but excited about Ace. I know this is the one! I hear you on the work trip thing...part of the stress with all this stuff. Gl keep the meeting at bay. 2016 is still here for a long time so try not to stress about an expiration date.

Seriously the suspense is killing me. I think DH is also getting cranky and wants to get this show on the road. It has been 6 months since my BFP and not one normal cycle. I get all the circumstances and really we are probably only one month out do to stupid Estrogen, but patience is getting thin. I also scheduled a reconsiltation appt but it got moved to 2/11 which kind of annoys me if this cycle does not work, because we likely might have to skip next month. I have asked if Femara works to get an eggie and worst case it does not stick to be allowed to do another cycle next time. I do not see why not, but will be really perturbed if they so no.
Ommmmm, but PMA says no worries grasshopper this cycle will work and if not the universe will align to make it happen very soon. Oh, I totally forgot at the end of yoga yesterday as I was doing the deadmans pose (eg laying on the floor with eyes closed...almost falling asleep ) I 'dreamt' a little blond haired boy coming up to me and say it would be alright. Hmmm...maybe something to help my PMA. It WILL be alright. Oh yeah, and I have an acu consult today. Yikes!

Much love to everyone out there and may all our 2016 dreams come true (hopefully sooner rather than later).

 

[krasavitsa147]

Happy Thursday, ladies!

I promise to get caught up on everyone-seems I can barely catch up with myself right now.

Just an update on my WTF appt. WTF.

Apparently, what happened with me happens in only 3% of cases nationwide. Of course it does. Statistically speaking, 50% of my blasts should have been euploid. The docs were expecting 2 or 3 normal ones. 97% of women my age will have at least one PGS-normal blast.

The doc I met with has been doing IVF since 1987, and started the program at the U of I, so I trust his opinion a lot. I asked him about why there were so many empty follicles (a full 50%) and he said that they expect to see that in someone that has an ovulatory dysfunction, like pcos. But my cycles are regular. So, the take away was try again when you are ready, we may get a different outcome, as they were truly shocked by this one. But, you may also get the same outcome. They don't know why this happened.

But last night some things clicked in my head. Namely:
-I have not been diagnosed with pcos.
-But my fasting blood sugar has always been in the pre-diabetic range. This morning it was 115. I checked it with my kitty's human glucometer.
-I have some physical things that could be caused by elevated testosterone, but could be caused by something else entirely. Long, illustrious history of cystic acne. Numerous black facial hairs that I have to pluck. I build a ton of muscle, very quickly, for a woman.
-Elevated glucose and insulin resistance can toast egg quality.
-Elevated testosterone does the same.
All the above are pcos symptoms. The only thing is, I ovulate and have regular cycles. But in my mind, those are reason enough to check for any hormonal imbalances that could be screwing us over. Called the nurse this morning, waiting on a call back from her after she talks to the doc about whether or not these things should be considered significant, in light of our outcome.

I feel like I'm becoming "that patient". But I also feel like I have to. My workup felt a bit scanty (no day 3 labs-fsh, lh, e2, amh) and it feels like they just saw the promised land of high afc and went balls to the wall.

Dunno, girls. I'm feeling better though. We have decided that if this upcoming cycle is the same outcome, we are ok with donor gametes. We just want a family.

Like I said, I promise I'll catch up to everyone soon.

Love to all you wonderful women.

 

[Left wonderin]

I guess DH is kinda making me be realistic about things, like the longer we go, the less likely it is to work out. I hope that's not being Debbie Downer to you guys. But now that I'm 40, I'm just trying to keep that in mind. We'll still try our hardest and be optimistic about the assistance we're getting and that we're trying everything we can (or want to). I'm still going to be as positive as I can for each cycle, sa needed. And when/if we do conceive, we have more help with progesterone, etc. So all of the help is there, we just need it to work first. And that happening has a definite expiration date as of the end of 2016. So I'm just trying to balance keeping things in check as well as PMA.


Please don't concentrate on your age ....... I had my first loss at 40 ......... But first success at 41 .... I know lots of people IRL and on here 40 + having babies . Don't get hung up on it and actually the ore you try the more likley it will work HANG IN THERE

 

[Mdc]

Krasa, do not worry about becoming 'that patient'. You should be your own advocate! Since I work in healthcare (Star can probably attest to the same) I know how sometimes the providers can sometimes be a slave to what we where taught to do (what guidelines say, what things should look like) and sometimes loose track of the patient. Each case is different and your doc should feel comfortable with looking at the possibility, because many diagnosis have atypical presentations. It does sound probable with your signs/symptoms (esp fasting blood sugar) that they should do some further tests. At a minimum when you get pregnant you should watch your blood sugar closely. I am interested on what they say, and good luck!

Afm, I survived my first acupuncture appt. I cannot say I love it yet, but I am willing to give it a try. The practitioner was wonderful and very kind. I did have a bit of anxiety after laying there for a bit, but I was able to just breath and let it past. Insight to my crazy brain. I have always HATED needles, like as a child they used to have to lock the door in the office because I would jump off the table and try to make a break for it. As an adult I almost passed out with a TB test. So the acu needles did not hurt at all, but as I lay there I started to think there a needles just sitting on my body...don't move...I started to feel a little overwhelmed. Yeah...I am certifiable Last night oddly relaxed and pretty sleepy, so maybe it did do something. I am determined to do it for at least a month and then if I feel as if it is not for me at least I gave it a shot.

Happy Friday ladies and have a wonderful weekend!