40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[IowaGirl]

Thank you ladies! I am so glad that I stumbled on this website and forum. It is good to know that I am not alone in this journey!

I am now adding accupunture to my list of anything that might work. If my cyst is not gone with this next ultrasound my accupunturist is going to put me on some herbal meds that is suppose to help with it. I really hope it works! I hate the thought of going another month not being able to do the IUI.

 

[Emmi]

Hi Iowa, sorry, no answers from me either. However if there's one thing I've learned on this journey, don't expect the dr to volunteer anything easily and ask if anything at all is bothering you, remember you're paying their wages.
Bash, don't give up hope, my AMH is 1.9 and dropped from 10.9 in a year, but I have to have hope. So long as you're ovulating it's still possible.
Emmi, wow! That's a great number, not sure what age you are but that's pretty good, no wonder you feel bloated!
AFM 4 sleeps till test day and my hope is dwindling. Have been feeling crampy, bloated and snappy all day, I'm sure the witch is on her way the pesky Cyclogest will no doubt hold her back and just make me feel like this longer than normal, but I'm fairly certain she's on her way. which of course means it's game over, no baby, end off. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this as its so final, for a week there I really thought I might be pregnant this time. Life's pretty damn cruel. x

Hi Pussycat - I am 42 - so really hoping that everything continues to grow......My anxiety levels are going through the roof

Don't give up until the witch is 100% here - don't they say that pregnancy cramps are the same as AF???

Thinking of you. x

 

[Pussycat1]

Thanks Emmi, it just feels like I've been here before and felt like this for 4 failed IUIs and 1 failed ICSI. I know that all these things I'm feeling could be the elusive BFP, but I know deep down its not, I don't know how, but today I'm suddenly sure and I feel like my heart is breaking.
You're scan results are amazing, when's your next scan? Really hope it shows those follies growing. x

 

[Emmi]

Awww Honey - I really do know you feel. It's all so gut wrenching and after all you have been through......Just so so sorry to hear and wish that there were words to make it better.

I guess with me - I have never tried anything (iui etc) before - we were just a bit older when we got married so just needed that extra helping hand. In some ways - as I haven't been through anything before - I haven't got a clue what to have expected.

My next scan is on Weds and then on Friday. I guess like us all - time is not of the essence.......It's all so bloody hard!!! x

 

[FindingKismet]

Hey guys, I did another vlog ... enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O_CUeMutsU

 

[Pussycat1]

Hey Emmi, thanks for your support. I've slept on it and feeling a bit less emotional and a little less crampy. sometimes it's all so overwhelming and I know my bf is feeling the same but there's nothing we can say to each other to make it better. Just need to hang on till Friday, do the test and get it over with.
Good luck tomorrow, everything sounds great for you, fingers crossed those follies keep growing! x

 

[Emmi]

Pussycat - I guess that's the name of the game - we're okay one day and the next - we just want to stay in bed and cry

And it's hard to share all of this all of the time with your partner - it's just so difficult. My hubby is really stressed with work and though he does his best - he isn't in the same zone as me. He asked how everything went yesterday but was very brief and I just hit the roof - Why is everything about work? You don't really want this baby.....Errrrr...you get the picture....I am hormonal and anxious but it's hard as my world revolves around this IVF but his doesn't.

Really and wishing and hoping that it's good news for you xxx

 

[Kat S]

FindingKismet, yes I know what you mean about turning to close friends. Sadly, mine are not supportive when I'm stressing or symptom spotting. They always reply, "Oh I'm sure it's nothing!" Wow, really? So nice to know you don't think I can possibly be pregnant I've stopped saying anything to them at all. It's a lonely feeling.

I have gone through the "I'm sure I'm pregnant" feeling with the IUI, too. I really now think it's because of the trigger shot. It really gives you symptoms!! It's the hormones. It's not our fault. It really does trick the body into feeling pregnant.

Good luck with the IVF funding! I wish we could go that route, but we can't do another loan right now. No one in our family has any money to give/loan, so we're stuck with IUI.

 

[Pussycat1]

Finding kismet (stephanie), another great vblog. You really seem to be spot on with so many things. I'm really glad you're able to speak to your moms. With my first cycle I told a few friends but as times gone by I've stopped telling and they've stopped asking, I just found the sympathetic looks too much when it all went wrong, especially as most of them have kids so couldnt possibly understand how this feels. I've always been an independent person, happy with my own company anyway, I guess I'm a bit of a loner. Aside from waiting to see if anyone responds to posts I find this forum a great outlet. So sorry your first IUI didn't work, don't lose heart, you have to believe. As for being convinced you are to knowing your not, well I think it's obvious I hit that point last night. Progesterone is such a double edged sword, it could just be the thing that gets us where we want to be yet it's a cruel hoaxer at the same time. Good luck with the next round. I couldn't agree more about asking questions and not being afraid to insist on answers, I KNOW that they have me down as slightly unhinged at my clinic, but hey, I'm paying for this and have spent a lot of money so far. This is my life and my future and I think sometimes the clinics just see you as another number and I can understand how that happens as they see so many ladies. that's what I was trying to get at in my comment to Iowa.
Emmi, it certainly is roller coaster, I don't think our partners can ever truly get this. Sure they can want it and show they care, but they can to a certain extent put it to one side. For us it's part of us and we feel the twinges and take the meds and have the undignified scans etc etc I really don't think they can understand how that feels. Thinking of you tomorrow with your scan.
Still no AF, I'm not feeling so emotional and less crampy, in fact crampy isn't that good a description, I would say 'heavy' is how I feel, does that make sense. Still clinging to a little hope that it's implantation, but deep down I know I'm beyond that. xx

 

[IowaGirl]

I am on day 2 of taking Provera, I wish AF would hurry up so that I can get my ultrasound to see if the cyst is gone.

Has anyone taken Provera? I know the Dr said it could be 2 weeks after taking the last dose for AF but wondered if it wont take that long? Also as I was reading up on it, you are not suppose to take it if you have had blood clots, which I have had one. I am really suprised my Dr would give it to me knowing that?

Oh well...Hurry up AF!

 

[FindingKismet]

Hi guys, just touching base with my homeland. You are my people. The only ones who can really understand.

Thanks for the responses to my vlog. I never would have done a vlog if it weren't for this whole TTC journey. I never posted on forums before either! Now I've discovered the joy of both LOL.

Tomorrow I go in for my CD3 scan to see if I can do IUI this cycle. I hope it's a go. Wishing you all the best of luck.

 

[Kat S]

Love your vblogs!

Good luck on your scan. Hoping for NO cysts so you can proceed!

 

[Kat S]

I am on day 2 of taking Provera, I wish AF would hurry up so that I can get my ultrasound to see if the cyst is gone.

Has anyone taken Provera? I know the Dr said it could be 2 weeks after taking the last dose for AF but wondered if it wont take that long? Also as I was reading up on it, you are not suppose to take it if you have had blood clots, which I have had one. I am really suprised my Dr would give it to me knowing that?

Oh well...Hurry up AF!

Iowagirl, just to be on the safe side, I'd mention the blood clot to your doctor. It's possible she missed that piece of information on your chart or forgot. If there's one thing I've learned in this process, is that you have to be your own advocate. My doc told me the cyst usually dissipates in about 2 weeks. I'm hoping I don't have another this cycle as well!

 

[Emmi]

Hi guys, just touching base with my homeland. You are my people. The only ones who can really understand.

Thanks for the responses to my vlog. I never would have done a vlog if it weren't for this whole TTC journey. I never posted on forums before either! Now I've discovered the joy of both LOL.

Tomorrow I go in for my CD3 scan to see if I can do IUI this cycle. I hope it's a go. Wishing you all the best of luck.

Wishing you all the best - keeping everything crossed! x

 

[Emmi]

I had my second scan today whilst on stimms - 16 follicles ranging from 8mm to 13 mm. The nurse was pleased - need to get them to about 17mm or so by the weekend so EC on Monday or tusday if everything is okay with the Friday scan - Lordy Lordy!!!! xxx

 

[Pussycat1]

Emmi, that's great! Keep them growing! I found egg collection fine, just like having a really nice sleep!
Findingkismet, good luck tomorrow, fingers crossed they say you're good to go.
Iowa girl, completely agree with Kat, if you have any concerns ask, remember the dr and nurses see many many people every day, you're the most informed person about your situation and asking questions only makes sure you stay that way.
Kat, hope you're doing ok, guessing you're on 2ww after trying at home by yourselves? Sorry lost track.
I'm now 9 days post day 3 transfer, cramping seems to have calmed down (as have I!) and I test Friday morning. Still fairly certain it's a negative but a little confused by the reduced cramping today.
Hope everyone else is good. x

 

[Emmi]

Awww Pussycat - I bet the wait is a killer!!! Think I will be proper bonkers by that stage! Keeping everything crossed for you. xxx

 

[Pussycat1]

BFN... Again
Game over

 

[bash73]

sorry Pussycat

 

[bash73]

quick update...so i got a belated birthday gift....no not a bfp (yet) but my blinky , is now a solid and the CVS stick showed LH Surge so we tried last night and then will do it again tomorrow and Monday and that should do it for this cycle. I was not going to OPK next month...if i get bfn, i just might only cuz i have sticks left to see if it's an ovary thing ORRRR was my body just getting back to "normal" after the ectopic. Wow it's been a longgggggg journey. Have a great day!