46 BFPS and Counting -TTC Lucky Support Thread - newbies welcome!

[Smille24]

Squirrel- my bfp at 12dpo was super faint. Every pregnancy is so different. Those tests look so promising that I refuse to believe it is not a successful cycle.

Campn- my MIL has caused a lot of problems in the past. A few months ago I made a huge family dinner and she showed up to my house (knowing dinner was about to be served) with 3 boxes of pizza. I flipped out on her. I think she now knows I'm not going to tolerate her vindictive behavior. She is trying so I am putting in the effort as well to try to get along with her.

 

[campn]

Smille- I wonder if all MILs are that way no matter what? I hope not. My inlaws are pretty racist to me cause I'm not white. My MIL even said to me while I was pregnant with DS if the baby will be so dark like me? When I make them dinner they always look up the recipe first and ask me how I cooked it as if I cook it with my feet cause I'm from Egypt. They took pictures of everyone holding DS when he was a newborn except me.

I just try to avoid them now as much as I can, and being pregnant I can get out of things saying "I feel so nauseous sorry I can't come"

 

[squirrel.]

Campn and Smille: wow! Your inlaws both sound horrible!! What do your husbands say when they behave in that way?

 

[squirrel.]

Well, BFNs today as I was expecting. Guess those faint lines yesterday were what I thought, rubbish tests and just tweaking artefacts. Feel disappointed, as always when by 12dpo I still don't have a BFP. Just getting quite worried now that it's not happening. I just don't see why. Sperm is good, my hormones are good, my tubes are clear, ultrasound showed everything is structurally fine down there... So why can't we make another baby when it happened so easily for us before? Unexplained infertility is so emotionally draining. There's just no reason for this, yet cycle after cycle it just doesn't work. I am disappointed and might take a day or two to move on to the next cycle mentality. I need to get my prescription from the doctor who saw me at the clinic, but she didn't reply to my emails last week. Will have to call her today. CD3 for me will be on Saturday and with it being Easter weekend, I'll need to get them before Friday as it's a bank holiday. Maybe I have poor egg quality and the clomid will mature them better. I have to think it's going to do something, as by the fact that I'm already ovulating, I do wonder whether it will help at all.

 

[blablamana]

Squirell: but please remember that even WITH perfect timing and perfect everything, your chances every cycle are around 30%. That's not a lot and it sucks. Maybe the clomid will help, I hope so! But I'm sure that there is NOTHING wrong with you or hubs. I think the baby is just waiting around for the best moment, however unfair that may sound. You will have your rainbow sweetie, I'm so sure of it!
And, from what I can see, your temp is still way up.. you're not out yet!


As for the MILs, jesus that is horrible. Mine is super nice and seems to kinda like me. Although, when we first met, SO left to walk her dogs and she turned to me and said: "You need to get insoles because your feet don't stand the right way." And walked away

 

[jalilma]

Jalilmama- Did you find out what you're having!? I'm sorry if I missed it or forgot!

Nope... And I can not believe that I not Only convinced My boyfriend but that I had the will power to close my eyes during that part of the us! I have never not found out and I am so excited for the moment that I meet this sweet little person to find out!

 

[Smille24]

Jalil- that's amazing that you have that kind of will power!

Campn- that is awful that they treat you that way, your gorgeous they should be happy for their son. My dh hates confrontation, so he pretty much said nothing that day. He has yelled at her in the past for trying to sabotage our wedding. She usually just does or says things when he's not present.

Squirrel- I'm so sorry for your bfn. Your temp went up today which is a good sign. I really think the clomid will bring you a bfp. If you're concerned about egg quality, it will definitely help but lets not get ahead of ourselves...you aren't out yet.

 

[beemeck]

it's my typical nonstop Monday but I wanted to check in real quick.....

squirrel - so sorry that nothing showed on the tests today. like always, I'm right behind you.

It hit me yesterday that I will in fact be devastated when I find out this cycle isn't it for me either. I think the excitement about the RE appt carried me quite far, but it didn't last forever. I guess I just feel like even though I have someone to listen to me and TRY to help, if everything is fine, then what is say, an IUI going to do for me? Just like you squirrel - even thinking about potential clomid makes me think what difference will it make since I'm already ovulating. But I'm just trying to think of drum (who I have been thinking about nonstop - if you're out there drum I am SO hoping everything is just perfectly fine!) who feel pregnant the first cycle after clomid and I think she was o'ing before then?

so trying to stay positive but feel REALLY down today and I'm only 24 hours from the RE appt. my temps are crappy and per the usual at this time in the cycle, I just feel out. I think after so long, the best way I can describe it is that pregnancy is a really cool, exclusive club that I'm just not cool enough for. It just feels so untouchable. in fact, I don't even feel like I was ever pregnant. That was a year ago and it just feels like eons away; a strange dream.

hoping for some hope at my appt tomorrow.

 

[Smille24]

Bee- I'm sorry you feel like pregnancy is unreachable. It breaks my heart. I know how stressful and overwhelming an RE sounds. It sucks that it has come to this. I was very hesitant and depressed about the idea at first. I still remember calling my mom crying frequently bc it was so unfair that our journey led to a specialist while others fall pregnant so easily. She would tell me that life doesn't work out the way we planned sometimes and sometimes we need help. No it wasn't very comforting, but it's true. You are strong, you can get through this. I know month after month you feel like you've been defeated, but you have picked yourself back up, dusted yourself off and kept trying.

I was ovulating too on my own, but my quality was poor. Clomid fixed that. The RE will go through a series of tests to figure out what's going on. You already got the worst test out of the way. After your 1st appt, it moves quickly. They want to get you pregnant as quickly as possible. We started in Nov, got through the testing and I got pregnant in Jan. You already bypassed some of the tests, so it may go a lot faster. I'll be think about you tomorrow and hope it goes well. You will be in good hands.

 

[campn]

Squirrel- I'm so sorry hun, I was really thinking this would be it for you.
I'm pretty sure I also had an egg quality problem, I was ovulating so late and my period were light for the most part and some cycles I started spotting 10 DPO. Once I took soy it did help me I believe.

I really really think hsg followed by clomid will do wonders for you ladies. My friend struggled for 16 months and once she did both she conceived the same month and now has 3 girls!

 

[blablamana]

O Bee - I'm so sorry that you feel this way. I wish I had more to say to you, something to offer. I honestly believe that you are cool as hell and should be an elite member of the pregnancy club. I honestly believe that you WILL be.
I understand that losing a baby makes you lose faith in your body, especially when it takes a long time after the loss to conceive again as well. It's hard and it's extremely unfair. All I can say is that I believe that you and your body are strong and will carry a baby. Soon.
Smile said it best - sometimes you just need help.. and that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. You are strong enough for this, way stronger than you even imagine. It sucks, but you WILL get through this and you WILL get pregnant.
Keep believing in yourself and your body, it will happen sweetie. Even though it's hard, keep your head up

 

[squirrel.]

Thanks ladies for your support and encouragement. I know this isn't my cycle, even though I know AF isn't due till Thursday. I just know it.

Bee: I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so discouraged. This journey is so difficult on all of us and especially if you are striving for that first precious child. I'm so sorry it's been this hard for you. I really hope your Appintment tomorrow goes well and they have a plan to get you pregnant as soon as possible. If scarring is the issue, then an IUI would be perfect. Sometimes these unexplained issues can be fixed even though we don't logically understand how. Maybe our eggs just aren't up to scratch and clomid will do the trick. Maybe our crevices aren't letting enough sperm in and an IUI bypasses that. So many what ifs, all I know is you will get your baby. Keep seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, as hard as it is on days like this. I am so there with you we'll he through this bee and one day when we're cuddling our little bundles, this will be a distant memory that loses a lot of the pain we feel now.


So I called my doctor and got through to her lovely PA. she sorted the prescription for me (2 months worth at 50mg from day 2 to day 6 - strange it's not days 3-7). I'll have to call and book a scan when my period starts to check follicles as they want to discourage multiple pregnancies (ha!). She emailed through the prescription as well as posting it and I went straight to my local pharmacy where they know me as I'm always in buying pregnancy tests (what they must think of me!!). They at first said they couldn't take email prescriptions, but I then got the doctor's PA to speak to them on the phone and also promised to bring in the original when it arrives. So now my clomid is ordered and I'll pick it up tomorrow after work. Feels pretty exciting to be honest - Friday will be CD2 for me. I keep thinking about Drum. Clomid can work. I really hope it works for me!

 

[campn]

Squirrel and Bee- You're both in my thoughts and my prayers. I know your wait won't be more much longer and all of this will be so yesterday!

 

[mommyxofxone]

so exciting to see so many new tickers!!!! hope you all are well !!! Thinking of you bee.

 

[beemeck]

oh girls. thank you all for your neverending support. I'm so lucky to have so much of it in my life.

this journey continues to be such a rollercoaster. from getting pregnant on the first try, to being prepped for a hysterectomy, for avoiding the hysterectomy, to going another year without getting pregnant - just so many ups and downs and this cycle is no different.

today's RE appt was such a whirlwind. this doc does not mess around - which is what I wanted but also scary at the same time. basically she thinks that something about my cervix has changed from the trauma that occurred to it. that maybe the function of it changed and is an inhospitable environment for the sperm. bottom line is - she doesn't know and there is no way to test for this type of thing. so she figures, why not just bypass it and go straight to IUI. great - I'm so in!

so I asked if it would then just be a nonmedicated cycle since everything else is checking out thus far. She said it would be my choice but then added that if I haven't gotten pregnant releasing one egg each month, why not up the chances? She kind of made me feel silly - now in the complete opposite direction lol! my obgyn made me feel like I was people ultra aggressive and the RE was like uhhh why so conservative?

bottom line is that it just feels so "uneducated" - she said we can do next cycle if we want, even without the SA or AMH results. DH is curious too as no tests are being done, but action is being taken. It's a lot to think about but I guess all we are doing is injecting his sperm into me (what we've already been attempting to do at home) and maybe increasing chances with the meds if I decide to take that route? As of now, we decided on the lowest dose of femara. AF will be due on Sunday and then it'll be go time, so I'll have until then to sleep on it. I think I'm going to go with it. so many women have 4 follicles or more and none take. although most of those women (or partners) have a diagnosis of something else too...... ahhhh

I'm going to do a more specific write up in my journal when I get a chance, but that is where things stand now. Right now, we are looking at IUI for April 9....!

 

[gina236]

Bee that's so exciting! But definitely scary. As long as you are okay with multiples, medication would only up your chances! FX it works. It's definitely a good idea to sleep on it and really think it over.

 

[jGo_18]

Bee - i'm so thrilled to see there is action being taken (even if it does seem a bit jumpy without any further tests)! i am just happy to see things happening and i really think this is just what you need. my gut feeling was damage to your cervix too and maybe DH's little swimmers just couldn't get thru. I'm hopefully with the IUI helping them bypass that hurdle, you'll have your BFP SOOOO SOON!!

 

[squirrel.]

Bee that's amazing news!! Fantastic that they're so proactive and they think an IUI could really help. So happy for you! I wish we could be IUI buddies next cycle. I have a really good feeling that this is all it's going to take for you with your cervix history.

We I picked up my clomid don't know why, but it feels really weird to me, like something that feels really common for other people, but that I never thought would happen to me. I used to be amused by the idea of getting my hands on clomid to conceive twins (never a serous thought!!) and now here I am about to take some, but this time just being desperate for even one baby. Weird. My temp is on its way down, so I expect AF Thursday. I tend to get it on what would be 15dpo.

Bee I have a good feeling about next cycle. Let's go get pregnant

 

[Smille24]

I am really glad she listened and didn't brush your concerns off. It's a whole different experience dealing with the RE. After all of my tests came back they're like "we're going to be extremely aggressive about this, we're going to get you pregnant".

It really is hard to wrap your head around, but I swear it will be ok. You are on the right track and have a team to help get you to your goal. They prefer medicated cycles anyways to time everything precisely. I have a feeling it will definitely work. I am a huge believer in the IUI procedure and it is so easy...it literally took 30 sec. Maybe they aren't concerned about the SA bc you got pregnant b4? If you need time to think it over, you should. Once you get that initial appt, they do move fast bc they know you wanted a baby yesterday.

 

[campn]

Bee- I'm tearing up with happiness reading your post! I'm so excited and so happy to hear you had such a great appointment and someone willing to go all out with you! I've no doubt that this will work! I also second it'd be medicated. Why not!? Go all out and don't hold back.

Eeeeeeek I'm so so excited! And once you push that baby out your cervix wil have softened up and will stay a bit open, so you'd certainly have no problems getting pregnant ever again! *Fingers crossed!*


Squirrel- Yay for picking up clomid! I'm so grateful that medicine can help women now!

I hope that you girls will get very knocked up so soon and will be looking at January 2017 babies!??? So less than a year from now you'd be holding something that looks so cute in a onesis!