46 BFPS and Counting -TTC Lucky Support Thread - newbies welcome!

[nyxnw]

Im tired stupid insomnia has me in a death grip, but luckily I get a nap in during the day usually. Got my first doctors appt on the 12th currently 5+4.

 

[Smille24]

Bee- good luck with your surgery! I hope it goes great and that recovery is quick.

Texas- I'm sorry you're ill. I hope you feel better soon.

I still have roughly 4 weeks and it's dragging. I am so ready to meet our baby.

 

[peanutmomma]

I tested last Wed 2 days before af due and bfn, spotting sat thru mon. Now, stringy brownish if I I set finger into vagina, but rarely anything on tp. Have Wondfo test that I bought over a year ago. Bfn so far, but I am unsure if they're expired as all of it is in chinese, I don't read or speak chinese. There is not a label on each test with lot and exp. So confused. Have I sanely sore bbs with blue veins, migraines, starting to have nausea maybe. Just feel similar to when pregnant with dd, except for the spotting. Also, have fullness in uterine area. It has stressed me and I can't sleep the last 2 nights.

 

[PinkPokaDots]

I'm still hangin in there. Sick as hell still... migraines all the time. 12 weeks finally, but not feelin much better. But found out my friend got her faint positive this morning! So we will be about 8 weeks apart

 

[Conundrum]

Peanut FX hun

Teeny and Mommy how are the little ones?

Bee will be thinking of you. Fx for a smooth procedure. Please update us when you can

Tex hope you and your DH get to feeling better soon. hope school is getting more relaxing.

N I am sorry about the insomnia. FX that is the worst first tri symptom, mine was the opposite- could not stay awake lol

Smille I can't believe how quickly it is going though it does seem to drag at the worst times. Congratulations on 36 weeks! Hope LO is treating you well.

Pink hopefully the migraines let up soon. Congratulations, almost to 2nd tri and for your friend!

TTC thinking of you.

 

[Mcmac115]

Hi Everyone,

New to the site... August was first month ttc to our second... O'd on 8/27, had BFP this morning! Hoping it sticks, I am only 9dpo this morning and still feel like it is too good to be true for first month of trying..Good luck to everyone and baby dust **

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

So I'm three days late.. But I'm not sure if it's because my body is working out hormones from my mc Aug 5 or if I'm pregnant and I'm too scared to test yet..

 

[Teeny Weeny]

So I'm three days late.. But I'm not sure if it's because my body is working out hormones from my mc Aug 5 or if I'm pregnant and I'm too scared to test yet..

Good luck for testing. FX'd for a BFP. Xx

Bee, wishing you a safe and speedy surgery tomorrow. Thinking of you. Xx

 

[Mom15]

Gagrl - I can understand your dilemma. Any idea how long you will wait to test? I know you took the month off charting, but did you have any O signs or accidentally checked cm ?

 

[mommyxofxone]

goodluck bee!!!

 

[PinkPokaDots]

Gagrl... I have been in a similar predicament. I had an early mc in Nov 2014, and we tried immediately that cycle. My next cycle was so off... I couldn't track my ovulation cause it was so haywire... and my period was like a week late. I was testing everyday to see if I was preggo but kept getting negatives. About a week later I got my BFP for my son. I think my cycle was just really messed up due to the MC, and I ovulated really late... hence getting a very late BFP.
I don't know if that helps any, but I would expect your cycle is also very out of wack

 

[trixiesmith]

So, here’s my story. I've put it in a spoiler so I'm not taking over the entire thread lol. You may choose to read it or not.

So one of my last updates - the ex-DH and I hadn’t been talking. I’d been avoiding him at all costs, ignoring him, before the whole chemical. (I never told him about the chemical, but I know he knows. He stole my journal the day he came home to get some stuff before we split and then gave it back without saying a thing. We never discussed it and I don't ever plan to.)

Spoiler

I fell into my own little world of pity and regret after the chemical, wishing baby had stuck and hating myself and my body for it. I hated not talking to or seeing ex-DH, but something in me felt I couldn’t do it anymore. I was tired of fighting with him, felt like we both suddenly wanted different things and a baby didn’t factor in anywhere anymore except in my obsessive overthinking mind. I was so confused and scared of where my thoughts were. I thought a lot of awful, horrible things, but mostly I found myself wondering what it would be like to start new, fresh… somewhere different with someone new… and that’s when I knew we were done.
I was upset that I was in love with a man who wasn’t willing to try make things work for us anymore. He had slowly begun to lose his motivation and drive for life, for wanting to do new things together, he started to blame me for his decisions, and just didn’t know how to communicate and chose to debate everything. He was in a rut and I didn’t know how to bring him out of it or help him. I couldn’t force him to talk and I no longer wanted to try talk stuff through if he didn’t know how. It takes two, I know that, but I suddenly felt I was the only one trying, and I knew I just wasn’t willing to sacrifice anymore time or give anymore of myself if he no longer wanted the same things as I or if he could suddenly change so drastically. I know people change, but I've never witnessed it that fast over such a short span of time…
Finally one morning, I woke up feeling… changed. I thought, “Today is the day.” And it was.
That morning, he called to tell me he didn’t get the new job. He wanted me to console him and give him an ego boost, to tell him it would all work out and things would be different and better once we moved. But I couldn't. My heart wasn’t in it anymore. Over my lunch hour, something between us changed while talking on the phone. He sounded tired, defeated, lost and alone, scared and confused. We agreed it was for the best to part ways.
Things got messy by that evening with arguing, name calling, shouting… he made me cry over the phone while driving until I shouted at him to stop, that I couldn’t talk to him anymore. He listened to me sob for a few moments before he hung up without saying a word.
He moved out last weekend and held me while we talked a bit. Some of the things he said… it’s like he was trying so hard to convince himself this was for the best, finally actually being honest and admitting he wasn’t willing to work on himself to be better for me and him, and that he didn’t know how to communicate or fix things. I told him I knew that, that I didn’t blame him, that we were both too blinded by love to realize how miserable we both were after failing for so long to communicate, to make a baby, to move away and start new together. We had just somehow floated along together and tried to make it work without ever really fixing our issues. We had all the love and passion there, but when you also have major communication issues, I see now that it would only ever be doomed to fail. I'll always regret we didn't work harder to try fix it despite us knowing what we needed to do for us to work.. but in time I'll forgive myself and him.
I always told him if he thought he could be happier elsewhere, even if that didn't include me, I'd let him go. He always thought I was being mean saying that. I told him I loved him enough to do that - because that's what true love is, wanting the best for that person even if it doesn't include you. So I've let him go. I hope he lets me go too...
I’m finding it easier to move on and focus on just me already. Which tells me I probably checked out long ago and that I’ve actually been done for a while. The only hard part right now for me is sleeping in that bed. Our bed. Where promises and dreams were made. Where we made love and tried for a baby. I finally slept in it last night and the night before, after not sleeping in it for 3 weeks. It was awful. But I need to carry on and move forward...
I have surrounded myself with family support and reached out to friends. I have to begin meeting with a mental health professional to help resolve some of my personal issues and to assist with my anxiety and depression. I also have to begin behavioural therapy because I went undiagnosed for so long (they think 5 ½ years from when I was in a car accident on my way to meet DH) – which I was told likely played a factor in these past almost-6 years DH and I had spent together and also factors in why I did or said some of the things I did to him – like control issues or OCD instances spurred on by moments of anxiety.

I previously mentioned on here I would say goodbye to all of you, but I don’t feel like I can do that right now. I would like to remain on here, lurking silently or being a cheerleader for you all, if nobody minds. You ladies all mean too much to me for me to just up and disappear. I’d hate to leave and not know how you all are or how your beautiful babies look. I won’t include anything about myself unless I do decide to go through with a sperm donor (yes, I still want a child and am willing to do it alone - way back when, DH and I had discussed this and it feels like something I'd really like to do).

 

[Smille24]

Trixie- it will take time to heal and move forward, but it sounds like you're ready. I am so glad you are getting help, that is the hardest part. I am so sorry it did not work out between you and your ex, but it sounds like you needed to move on and focus on yourself and positive aspects in life. Using donor sperm has become more common and whatever you decide, we are here to support you.

 

[TexasRider]

Trixie don't feel like you have to stop talking. We are always open to hearing from you even if it isn't Ttc stuff. Realizing things need to change is always a major step. So bravo on making it. I hope you get to a good place mentally and therapy will help loads with that.


Afm nothing exciting going on here. We should be getting into my fertile phase soon but honestly I'm not feeling it already. I'm tired of going balls to the wall so to speak and not getting any closer to a bfp. We have a cruise coming up to Mexico and I would prefer to not be pregnant on it. We aren't going to avoid per say but I'm not going to just be all about the BD of you get my drift. And if it's meant to be then it will be and I will have to cover myself in Deet so I don't get bit by Zika virus mosquitos

 

[BabyForIris]

Trixie hun I'm so sorry. But it sounds like you know you are doing the right thing. No matter how hard it is.

Tex - I'm right there with you. We are officially not TTC as of today and not sure when we will. Reasons below.

Camp/Drum/Smille you guys are so close! I hope it goes quickly. I can't wait to see your babies.

Bee I know your surgery was today and I hope you're recovering well! I look forward to an update.

AFM: I know I've been quiet. Sorry! We've been incredibly busy and thankfully the time has just flown by. But!! Today was our first appointment with our RE. It. went. so. well.

I don't even know where to start. He's extremely nice. He looked at DH's SA's and after looking over our history he looked right at me and said "You know it speaks highly of your ability to conceive that you managed to get pregnant with these numbers right? And you were REALLY REALLY pregnant" I could have cried.

He really focused on DH because he says he has no reasons for his numbers to be so low. He only 34, doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs or have a job that should affect him. So he's sending him to a urologist (hopefully we get an appointment in the next few weeks) and he also sent a sample off for a DNA fragmentation test. He told us it would be terrible to do an IUI and have it end again due to genetic damage so he wants to rule it out first. He's extremely through. I go back on Friday for a Sono just to make sure everything is clear. And we should get the results back from the fragmentation test in 3-4 weeks. And from there we will know what the game plan is.

So, we are officially not trying this cycle. (i'm actually excited about this... i cant lie. I kinda miss sex for fun whenever we want it). We're just going to wait for his results to come in and go from there.

Our RE ended the appointment by saying "Don't worry, I got this. We WILL get you pregnant"

The relief and weight that got lifted by hearing him say that is more than I can ever describe.

 

[Conundrum]

Trixie I am so happy to hear you've decided to stay. I have been hoping to hear from you hun. I am so sorry even if, you feel, it is for the best about your separation. I hope you get to where you want to be and nothing holds you back! Whether you decide to wait or go with a donor I cannot wait to see your next step, and future BFP.

Tex I really hope your BFP is around the corner, but a trip to Mexico sounds lovely! If this is not your cycle, have a drink or five for the rest of us and enjoy getting a tan! It's coming but a nice vacation first does sound wonderful!

Iris thanks for updating, I really hope your tests are as encouraging as your doctor! When the results are in I hope he is aggressive in his approach and you don't have to wait much longer. I am sure you're enjoying the down time but I cannot wait to see your rainbow BFP.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Trixie I'm so sorry...

Iris I'm so happy you found a great doc and they are really rooting for you!

AFM, I'm 5 days late for AF according to my regular cycle... I took a clear blue digi this morning and a frer. CB not pregnant..

Frer:
https://i66.tinypic.com/34gknes.jpg

 

[PinkPokaDots]

Trixie, good to hear from you.

Texas sometimes its good to get a break!

Iris, that sounds promising! Let us know the results

 

[Smille24]

Iris- hearing the words "we will get you pregnant" were the best 5 words we heard in our long journey. After hearing that, there was a sudden sense of relief. I am so happy you found a dr who is optimistic and confident. I think seeing a urologist is a great idea. They can take a closer look and come up with a solution for his poor SA. I really think this is a big step in the right direction for you.

Gag- maybe you O'd later than usual?

 

[peanutmomma]

I tested this morning bfn, dh says vvvf line, I don't see it.