7DPO and lots of CM (sorry if TMI!)

[tinadecember]

Morning girls,

Betty how wonderful would if be if we were IVF buddies? If it was 100% that you would get pregnant from it then I would say there's no price you wouldn't pay. Our hospital (The Liverpool Womens) has a 49% success rate... do you go for it or not!?!?! It'd be the biggest decision I would have ever have to make. Do you know what the success rate of your hospital is?

Parent's evening was lovely!! I wasn't expecting good things if I'm honest because of the biting incident but her teacher was over the moon with her progress. She just needs to practice putting numbers 10-20 in order and more difficult words like CH, SH and TH words. We're going to treat her this weekend

It's still so early for a BFP!! Though not as early as me and Frisky that time at 2DPO hahaha still laugh about that till this day.

How did your cousin get on in A&E? Hope it was good news.

Hows your head this morning? Did you well and truly go all out on the vino? I haven't had a good drink in so long, these 6-2 shifts have ruined my life. I have no time for anything! I literally work, clean and sleep.

Can't wait to finish work today and have some relaxation time. I've bought a huuuggeee leg of lamb so planning on doing a roast tomorrow. Sad that I'm excited for it already!

xxx

 

[Bettyt63]

Oh god girls.... I'm having a proper panic attack!!! Please bare with me while I have a rant!! I've had to call in work sick today, not because of a hangover but because I'm bloody stressed to death!!
Basically I found out that my childminder left vivienne and another little girl (same age as viv) at home with her partner while she went out. She wasn't gone long but I don't know who her partner is, I've never met him before and know nothing about him. The reason I found out was that the other little girl that was left told her mam that she had gone for a poo and so her mum asked if the childminder had helped her on the toilet and her little girl said no because she had gone out but that this man was there! Holy shit! This mother has completely freaked out and gone off it with the childminder... I've been on the phone to the childminder and she was in floods of tears, she's obviosuky made a mistake. Nothing has happened (thank God!) but apparently it's not the first time she has left them alone with him. Anyway, this other mother has told her she will not be using her anymore and I'm also taking vivienne out of her care.... I'm totally stressed to bits! I can't believe that she did it! It sends shivers down my spine!!
So, I'm now stuck without a childminder and honestly, don't want to put viv with anyone else other than family! Am I over reacting??? I feel sick

 

[Edinburgh]

Oh dear. I thought childminders' partners had to be screened as part of the licensing if they are ever in the presence of the children. I think that's the way it works up here. Maybe he's screened to stand in for her? If not then she's been absolutely out of line and deserves to lose her business. It's no comfort to you while you try to find someone else to look after Viv. Do you use all day care or just after school/nursery care?

We're going to have to pull Mia out of nursery completely when I go on mat leave. I was hoping to keep her in a day and a half a week till August when she qualifies for her pre-school hours, but the childcare fund at Matt's uni thinks they've made a mistake in calculating our childcare assistance for the last two terms and we may have to pay them back over £1000! Not that I'm not grateful to receive any help from them at all, Mia's nursery costs have been over half my wage and we only have my wage to live on, but it completely screws us over to think we have comfort blanket in the savings for my mat leave and then for it to be taken away.

I'm not going to rant about it, raising stress levels isn't going to achieve anything other than to piss me off.

I can't get over the cost of IVF. It's £4330 in Edinburgh according to the NHS website. I think given what a lot of people spend on a year on cigarettes/alcohol you could probably make lifestyle cuts and justify the cost as a final attempt? At least that way you'd know in your heart you tried everything you possibly could and would have no regrets later? Not that I'm advocating getting into lots of debt, but at the same time, you can't take the bloody green stuff with you when you go! And your children do kinda make your world and create your future. Only you guys know if its right for you, but we'd be right here to support you whatever you decide. I only wish we could help.

We don't plan on having any more children. I used to find it weird but Matt always said he'd like to donate sperm before he gets the snip. After reading your stories ladies I'm tempted to look into egg donation, before I'm too old for anyone to want them. But if it helps one childless couple to have a family then I think it might be worth the pain and inconvenience (only London clinics take donations in the UK I think).

I'd be up for a get together, though I'm not looking to travel too far from home in the next 6 weeks or so! Maybe August/September time might be good. Have car and happy to drive down or jump the train if there's a sensible midway point. Who is furthest South/North?

Alrighty, off to bed. I could sleep for Scotland if it was a national sport. Two more 4 day weeks at work to get through and then hopefully I'll get my decorating finished and my feet up for a bit before shorty arrives. Got the moses basket out the attic today and de-spiderwebbed it. One of my many checklist boxes ticked... Mia is taking great delight in utilising the baby clothes/car seat/moses basket etc. for her dollies.

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend x

 

[ab75]

I was a registered childminder ,gave it up after zara was born. Partners have to be screened the same as the actual childminders. This is only as they are going to be in the same house as the children . She shouldn't have left the girls with him. Even If she had asked you first the Care Inspectorate would not be happy. She could be closed down for that xx

 

[tinadecember]

Betty, No you are most definitely not over reacting... I don't know much about private child minders as Evie was always in a private nursery but I do know I would flip if I found out that my child was being left with someone other than the person qualified to look after her.

For what reason did she leave the children? To go get her nails done? ARGGGHHH I'd be fuming!

Edinburgh, how lovely that you're thinking of donating your eggs I suppose things like that don't even enter your mind until you're going through infertility yourself or know someone who is and the struggles it entails. We as women feel like we're put on earth to have children and when something comes in the way of that it's heartbreaking
How many more weeks to go until shorty arrives hun?

Betty have you had any more symptoms?

xxx

 

[Bettyt63]

Girls.... I've seriously had the worst 4 days ever! I've been throwing up with stress.... This childminder business seems to be getting worse! I was speaking to the other girls mother today about it all and she is still fuming, 6 weeks ago her little girl went home and told her mum that she had walked in on 'Ta Ta' having a poo?!?!?! That's what the kids call him, Ta Ta!!! She said she thought it was just her imagination but now she is thinking more into it! Well she has totally freaked me out! That's not right at all! I didn't realise that the kids actually had a name for him so after I get home tonight I'm going to question viv about it! What do I do???? This could be completely innocent but I just cannot believe that she would have some strange man around our children????? How dare she!!!
AB what do you suggest??

Ps: when I have calmed down I will be back on her to discuss ivf and also Edinburgh, good to hear from you hope you are ok and sorry about your childcare situation how old is Mia? X

 

[ab75]

Betty you need to phone the Care Inspectorate and tell them all of this!!
A partner is PVG checked (don't know if you call it the same check) to ensure that they are safe to be around the minded children. If she was going to be leaving them with him he would have to register to become a child minder or she would have to name him as an assistant. And why the hell did he not have the door locked?????
I'd be raging!!
Please phone and report this to the Care Inspectorate. It might be innocent and maybe she did only leave them once but you pay her to take care of Viv while you are at work,not her partner. You trusted her with the most precious thing in your life and she has broken that trust.
I can assure you that not all childminders are like that xx

 

[tinadecember]

Betty, I agree with AB! If I was in your shoes I wouldn't leave it, I'd be on to somebody higher. It could happen to other parents who trust her with their children..

Having some niggles this morning, AF is on her way!! I have a funeral tomorrow girls
my dad's sister passed away early last week. She had melanoma.. it was a strange one because even in the beginning the doctors couldn't find a mole or anything suspicious on her skin. The melanoma was behind her eye!! It was only found due to a lump appearing on her neck which had melanoma cells in it. By that point it was too late, it had spread right through her. Cruel world we live in.

Hope you've simmered a little this morning Betty, it's not right that she's making you physically sick!!!

xxx

 

[ab75]

Sorry to hear about your auntie Tina xx

 

[Bettyt63]

Oh no Tina.... I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt! That's terrible! You are right, we live in such a cruel world, it's totally unfair

Girls thanks for all your advice te: the childminder, as you could tell I was extremely stressed out by it all and my mind went into overdrive (really need to start meditating or taking Valium!) I had it out with her last nite, told her how I felt and that she has put doubt in my mind. I told her she wasn't looking after viv anymore. She knows she was in the wrong and said it won't happen again but the trust is lost on my part, my little girl is just too precious to me!!!

I started spotting today so AF will arrive during the night, fantastic!!!! Let's see what this one brings! It's so rubbish.... I'm calling the hospital tmrw to ask them to send me all the costs for ivf and how quick we could get in if we decided to go ahead. When I get all the info I'm gonna sit down and speak to Chris to decide what we are going to do. I'm 37 in August. Tina, what you could do to get costs right down is do egg sharing, look into it, might be an option for you to save some ££££ I'm too old how sad is that?!?!?!

 

[tinadecember]

Good morning ladies,

Thanks girls for your kind messages about my aunt, it's gonna be a sad day but we will give her a wonderful send off.

I think you've made the right decision about the child minder Betty, no matter how many promises she makes you there will still be doubt in the back of your mind every time you leave Viv with her. What are you going to do going forward? Are you looking for another child minder?

Sorry that AF got you mine is due any day too. I've had cramping for 2 days but she's taking her time in arriving. Let us know what the hospital say when you call I think it's a good idea, what else do you have to lose hey? apart from a few thousand £££! If you didn't give it a go then you'll be wondering forever if it would have worked.

I spoke to Mark last night when we were in bed about when to start trying again. We've agreed that it'll be safe to try after 1 more cycle. We're doing the 2 rounds of clomid and if no luck then we will also be enquiring about IVF. We will be at the 2 year point in July time has flew over! Evie is literally begging us for a sibling... we need to get something sorted pronto!

xxx

 

[Bettyt63]

Tina.... Hope today went as well as can be and you gave your aunt a lovely send off.... How are you feeling??? Xxx

AF is here full force, pain is very bad and I've started passing large clots so gonna call my GP tmrw to see why this is happening?! Also, I'm going to lanzarote in 4 weeks right when AF is due again! I really don't want to be on my period on holiday so I think I'm going to have to go on the bloody pill!! How ironic!!
Hospital sent through prices for ivf. It's £2,900 without drugs (drugs are estimated between £600-£1,000) so we are looking at around £4,000 which is actually not as bad as I thought!!!
Tina, I think you are doing the right thing by trying the rest of your clomid, I would get your fertility clinic to send through their prices so at least you have an idea on costs. Also ask them if there is a waiting time. My clinic said I could start ivf straight after my first consultation and there is no waiting list! See, if you show them the money you are seen pronto!!!
Has everyone got lovely things planned this Easter weekend????

 

[tinadecember]

Betty, what is going on with that clotting?!?! that isn't normal to clot every cycle... weird one!

Good news from the hospital though! What do you mean prices with and without drugs?? What happens if you don't have the drugs? Exciting to know that if you got the money together you could be starting IVF in a matter of months! eeek I'm excited for you.

My AF has arrived today, we're pretty much in sync now Betty. CD1 for me, my cycles seem to be varying between 28-30 days. No cramps as yet but I have only just started spotting so I guess I'm going to have a crampy easter weekend

We are going on a couple of days out over Easter. We're off to Chester Zoo tomorrow with my mum and dad. Going to go early in the morning and make a day of it. Then on bank holiday Monday we're taking Evie to Blackpool Pleasure Beach depending on the weather! We have to go to Chester Zoo tomorrow though whether or not it's pissing down because we've pre-booked the tickerts! DOH!! I can see us trecking round the zoo in our wellies and rain macs haha.

I plan on feasting on chocolate, hot cross buns and roast dinners all weekend yummmaaayyyy.

Off to legs, bums and tums tonight god help me!

The funeral went as well as can be, it was the most beautiful service I have ever been to. My aunt and her husband have money so everything was top notch for her. The church was filled with beautiful flowers and the wake was in this huge hotel with fancy food so we stuffed our faces on fancy desserts all afternoon. THEN GOT A KFC ON THE WAY HOME!!! Any point in going to the gym yesterday? I think not!

xxx

 

[friskyfish]

Hellooo My beutiful ladies...how are we all??
Im sorry ive not been on here, ive been meaning to, im jusr so tired at night, im falling asleep as soon as my head hits my pillow. I told tina on fb, ive gone back to work. Im only doing a few shifts, but im shattered!! Haha

Tina. Im sorry about your aunt, hope your ok. Its just shit. I was at one last week, my close friends dad, it was so sad,.she looked broken, felt like a bad dream. It was also held at the same place Eve is buried, so that was a bit tough. I managed to go to the baby garden after, so was a pretty emotional day.

Ab. Frazer is gorgeous, he has grown l

 

[friskyfish]

Hellooo My beutiful ladies...how are we all??
Im sorry ive not been on here, ive been meaning to, im jusr so tired at night, im falling asleep as soon as my head hits my pillow. I told tina on fb, ive gone back to work. Im only doing a few shifts, but im shattered!! Haha

Tina. Im sorry about your aunt, hope your ok. Its just shit. I was at one last week, my close friends dad, it was so sad,.she looked broken, felt like a bad dream. It was also held at the same place Eve is buried, so that was a bit tough. I managed to go to the baby garden after, so was a pretty emotional day.

Ab. Frazer is gorgeous, he has grown so much. Im glad your settled in your new home xx

 

[friskyfish]

Betty, i dont blame you for reacting how you did about the childminder. Leaving them alone with a man , going to the toilet, walking in on him having a poo?? Thats disgusting, very wrong. What a silly silly girl. Hows it all worked now??

Im sorry for spelling & other mistakes in this reply..im on my phone and its so shit!

For easter on the sat we ate staying the night at friends, getting babies off to sleep, then having lots of food & alcohol. Their daughter is 4 days olde than oscar, neither of us can get sitters, so we are all staying in together. Joes staying at my mums. The sunday we are all off to a family get together..lots more food and alcohol...but ill be well hungover, so ill just drink tea or something! Haha.

Im deffo up for meeting you girls. Lets get the ball rolling xx

 

[friskyfish]

Hey ladies, how was your bank holiday?? My saturday at friends was really good, got very drunk, but soon sobered up when az decided to throw up all over our friends carpet and muggins here had to clean it up!! Ewww
Sunday was spent at aarons aunties and uncles with all the family. They have a huge house, pool table, trampolines, so joe had a great time. Everyone was getting drunk, so i left at 6.30 to get oscar to bed. Glad i did because when aaron got home with joe, he was shitfaced & started crying because he had a huge Jeremy Kyle style row with his mum! Alcohol is the devil, he was feeling very sorry for himself yesterday, im drained xx

 

[friskyfish]

Where is everyone??
Miss youuuu Xx.

 

[ab75]

Morning! !
Eeuurrgghhh!! At cleaning up Az's sick. Lol I would've made him do it.

We had a quiet weekend. Family visited on sat and we went on an easter egg hunt at a castle on sun.

Hope everyone is ok xx

 

[Bettyt63]

Hi girls....
God frisky!! I would have totally made az clean up his own vomit! Ugh, Yuk!!! Did you make him pay for it the day after???
I had a great Easter weekend! Are loads of yummy food, drink way too much white wine and it was glorious up here so even managed to do a spot of sunbathing!!! All in all bliss!
Tina.... How are you chick??? How was your Easter weekend??? I see you're turning into quite the little gym bunny!!! Are you totally addicted??

Girls I go on holiday in 3 weeks, whoop!!! I went out and bought a load of new bikinis on Saturday, still need to suck in my mummy tummy but whi cares???

So it looks like we are going to go ahead with ivf girls! Me and Chris have spoke about it and we both agree that we should just put the money on a credit card, I am going to wait till after my holiday in August and then arrange to start late august!!!! Eeeeeeek! Scary and exciting all at the same time