Adoption journey

[Loski83]

Pleased you heard back from them hope it put your mind at ease a bit. Week is dragging think its cause I'm off for ten days after Friday. Going to try not to think about adoption at all for ten days not very likely though lol. We going to silverstone then on way back a surprise trip to Alton towers for the boys x

 

[Lolly1985]

Haha, that won't happen onme little bit!! But like the idea of giving your brain a break!

Hols sound great and some fab things planned. If you have weather like this too you will be laughing! Lover Alton Towers! Just prepare to queue, only downside. We went to Blackpool pleasure beach with friends last month and as it was a sunday and out of season we were walking straight on to most rides.

Very jealous of 10days off, i'm looking forward to 4 day weekend though and super excited about 3 weeks off uni

xxxx

 

[Loski83]

We take a disabled friend so that we can get fast track on the rides lol. Only problem is I'm in holiday mode now and counting down the seconds. Hope you haven't got too much work to do while off uni and can relax abit.

 

[Lolly1985]

Haha, you have it all planned then Ah well, don't blame you, holiday mode is lovely but the days go sloooow!!

Yeah not too much work on, I submitted loads last 2 weeks so should be able to get some time to chill and spend with DF. Although his work is crazy busy at the mo and they are offering time and a half to work a bit from home so bet he will end up doing that!!

 

[Loski83]

Feeling nervous today final reference being done at 2pm don't know whether nervous cause of reference or because of not knowing what's comes next or when properly. Just worrying about nothing probably but scared cause it's all gone so well so far, just waiting for something to go wrong lol.

 

[Lolly1985]

Ah don't worry, i'm sure it'll be fine. It is probably the nerves kicking in as you draw closer to the home straight, which is understandable. I can see why you are waiting for it to go wrong, as we always think 'nothings that simple is it?' But maybe this is because it hasn't gone 'wrong' so far and it won't as you are obviously a great mummy in the making.

My DF always says that I am worse the closer we draw to something, which he thinks is backward as he gets excited and happier. maybe its the way we are programmed? I think you are much in need of your holiday and some R and R It'll all be good xxxx

 

[Loski83]

It seems to have gone ok from what my sister said fingers crossed. Think the next stage is he finishes writing up what he's got so far then come for another few visits to fill in any blanks suppose we will find out soon. Lolly enjoy your Easter holidays and have fun with df. I'm going to stay off here after today for a week and enjoy time with my boys xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Have a lovely time won't you! I will speak to you when you get back, try to switch of and relax as soon enough you will be very busy with your LO!

Just to let you know we are following suit, VA is the way forward! Will tell you more after the hols, take care and enjoy!!! xxxx

 

[Loski83]

Back from my little break came home yesterday early cause of weather!! It was awful anyway feel all refreshed now after bath, food and a good nights sleep. Never spoke about adoption since Sunday, however I was thinking about it quite often lol. Feels weird cause nothing's happening at the moment only thing we know is step sons sw coming for their final visit on the 17th April xx

 

[Lolly1985]

welcome back! Glad you are refreshed, just what you needed. Did the boys enjoy alton towers? Bet it was packed wasnt it?

I guess not speaking about it gives you plenty of quiet time to think about it! We will never shut off from it! 17th isnt long and then soon after you will have your PAR! exciting!

Well VA have been great. Calls to see if we got on ok at open day and if we had any questions. Telling us when they received initial enquiry form, and today to make a home visit for interview!! So we are seeing her next friday. Glad im not supersticious, its the 13th. SW was laughing about it! x x x x

 

[Loski83]

Ended up not going to Alton towers it was closed due to the weather, our tent blew away lol. Pleased the va is doing good for you I think ours are brilliant. I cannot wait to get our par will be strange reading someone else's opinion of us. Pleased to hear its running smoothly for you so far x

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh that's a shame, hope you hadn't told them. Otherwise you may be making a trip there soon to avoid too much disappointment!

It will be strange reading the PAR, will be like a 'this is your life' book! Sure it will reflect you and your family well. Exciting times for you, you must be very anxious tp get things wrapped up now you are nearing the end.

Thank you, so far VA seem lovely. it has been over a month since we met with LA and I'm starting to think that they are stalling us as if we sailed through this initial stage they would then suddenly be adhering to the 8 month time frame and this is not possible for them at the moment. Its nice having that tick along in the background, but not be solely relying on it. Things are moving so quickly with VA that we will have finished prep by the time anyone from the county council get back to us

Hope you are enjoying the easter weekend, Lolly xxxxx

 

[Loski83]

We going back in 6 week holidays as the boys where rather disappointed. Looking forward to getting to next stage as feeling a bit in limbo at the moment. Have you got a date for prep group with va yet? Loving your ticker as well

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh no, they knew. That's gutting, glad you have planned to go back. Is that when its half term week?

Thank you, had some ticker trouble at first, ie, had no clue how to do it Google helped! No prep dates yet as we haven't met them other than open day and we hadn't given them our details yet. Hoping we will know a lot more after friday, fingers crossed! xxx

 

[Loski83]

Bet your starting to feel nervous now for Friday hope it goes well for you and df. We have been speaking to our sw today and he doesn't need any more information off us and he is coming to go over our report on the 24th April. He told us today that he has given our details over to other authorities regarding children in the system. Feeling really anxious at the moment about everything and sick of waiting lol x

 

[Lolly1985]

Thank you! Suprisingly I feel ok... Sure the nerves will kick in once I finish work at lunck time tomorrow!

Oh I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. It must be surreal that you are nearly there, but I am so excited for you. Roll on 24th!! xxxxx

 

[Loski83]

Hi lolly hope today has been ok for you and that you get a bit further along with va. let me know how it's gone been thinking about you all day x

 

[Lolly1985]

Thank you for thinking of me

SW was amazing! So lovely and positive and keen. The only sticking point was a bit of debt we took from previous relationships after selling houses each as the credit crunch was hitting. She said if it wasn't for that she would have booked us on the June prep course there and then. But we all talked and she will refer back to her manager and ring back next week, and in the meantime we were going to approach my parents to see if they would pay off the loan so we would be debt free (although paying them back a set amount each month, it is just not legally binding). SW said that it would be questioned at panel, what if we lost a job, what if we had a sibling group placed, what if mortgage went up, what if I needed to take additional maternity leave etc etc etc. Its best not there if we can help it. She was lovely to be so open, and very pleased we proactively want it sorted. I am so lucky to have amazing parents who are in a position to help, they have said yes and we have spoken to the banks to get them settled asap.

I'm not sure if this will hold things up until we have confirmation in writing they have been cleared, or whether we can progress in the meantime. I guess they are just relying on our word though, so may need evidence first But she said she was happy we were a younger couple, in her eyes a great thing, thought we were good together, good house safe and secure and ready to fill with a family, good pay and jobs, all was so good other than debt. Honestly thought it would not be a problem as we have savings and surpluss monmey each month, but she said it was looking outside the box, and as I said before, the what if scenarios. Hoping all will be fine once we explain to her next week.

But me and DF happy with agency, SW and the ethos of VA, so all in all it has been a positive day xxxxxx

 

[Loski83]

Sounds like its gone brilliant, we have loans that end in dec this year and nothing was said about them pleased about that. Pleased your parents are going to help them out that will also show sw how supportive they are of you's adopting. When's the next prep course after June or are you going to phone her and tell her you have got debt sorted and see if you can go on June course?

 

[Lolly1985]

Yeah she said that if they were ending sooner it wouldn't be a problem, but I don't want to wait 3 years! Nexts steps wise she is ringing next week and we will confirm our plan with her. The next prep after June is July, not sure after that. It may be that we have to wait for prep but start some other checks like CRB, medical etc (assuming they are happy with what we tell them) If they need written confirmation I guess we wait and ring when they are cleared and post them the paperwork and then crack on. Hoping this will not delay things too much, but feeling positive that this is a good move all round. So thankful for family.

Have you got any plans for the weekend? I'm meeting a friend for lunch and then think I need to crack on with the dissertation, boo!

Love Lolly xxxxx