Adoption journey

[Loski83]

Hi milty pleased to see you back, there's not that many on here, however the few of us that are here are all really nice people. I hope you enjoy having people to chat with and I look forward to hearing your journey as you tell it x

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Milty, welcome! Or by the sounds, welcome back

Loski is right, we are nice and the more the merrier, think we need to bulk up our numbers! Doesn't help when we are soooo far down the page I look forward to hearing about your journey and learning more about the process in the US. I briefly spoke to a lady on here from your side of the pond and she was very down at how long the process may take her. I hope that you have a positive experience xxxx

 

[Milty]

Thanks!

The difficult thing about the US is that procedures and requirements are different in each state.

 

[Milty]

Well I finally got a break and thought I'd tell you where we are at

We have had similar process we have taken but a deferent order

First we filled out tons of paperwork then cleared the initial interview process.

Then our criminal background checks cleared, 6 references interviews, health and finance checks. Once all that is cleared we interviewed with the SW and was cleared to start the HS.

The HS was faster than I thought it would be but was 4 visits & interviews by a contractor hired by the state. She was great and scheduled quickly and we were done with that in 45 days or so. Now the state makes one final review and Okies everything and we are cleared.

Oh but not so fast turns out one of my finger prints came back bad so it as to be redone before we get the final seal of approval. Only the print is not bad I have a scar on my finger that they think is a smudge. So now I have to see a doctor to prove it is a scar and get a verification from him that I can take to the fingerprint guy at the police station for him to compair with the records and give his approval.

Now if back in the 3rd grade I had known how much trouble this tiny scar was gonna cause me ...well I never would have taken that dare and stapled my finger!

In the mean time we have actually been introduced to a lovely sibling group of 3 young girls but I do not think the situation is right for us and decided to move forward just this week. So we are hoping to get my finger print squared away and continue on.

It seems we are on track to have a match by June and placement shortly there after depending on the circumstances.

 

[Loski83]

Hi milty yeah I think the stabler may have been a mistake , however it's part of your life and sounds quite funny lol. Sounds like your quite far in the process, same stage as us by the sounds of it just a bit different
We have my stepsons sw worker coming out the 10th may with their final report so that will be another hurdle over. I have just bought her a large Yankee candle for the boys to give her on Thursday. After that I think our sw will probably want to see us again at one point to fill in any gaps he finds while writing our report he started writing it about 2 weeks ago don't know how long it takes, but so far we definitely at panel the 14th June that's 42 more sleeps and it's going soooo slow

 

[puppymom32]

Hope the 14th comes around fast hun. Seems like the process can take forever but it will be so worth it in the end. And you little one will be so lucky to have you as a mommy.

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi everyone

Milty, thank you for sharing your story. It sounds quite a busy process, but (other than the fingerprints ) a positive one. It sounds like (everything crossed) you and Loski are on track to have your LOs home soon. I hope that time is not dragging too much.

Loski, less than 40 sleeps now, and that is only just over a month away so you really are getting there. Lovely idea with the candle, do you think it could be a bit emotional? I hope you have lots of little things planned to keep you busy over the coming few weeks.

I am having a crappy day. Not on the adoption front, that is all just ticking on in the background, but the uni front. I have spent the entire day desperately trying to do an assignment which on paper looks easy but having terrible writers block. I have started over and over again and have come to the conclusion that I need to try again tomorrow as I'm just not getting anywhere. I'm a bit upset as I cancelled a big family meal to get it done so I could go and have a day out with DF tomorrow, but now it looks like I will be doing neither. I know it is a minor problem, but it's just got to me. Maybe its because the assignment is all about positive partnerships with parents, parents as key educators, and the effect of bonding and attachment... *sigh*

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxx

 

[Milty]

Instead of putting yourself in the educator role put yourself in the student role...you know what I mean?...do a 180 on your prospective and see if that unclogs anything

 

[Loski83]

Why don't you have the day with df tomorrow take your mind off work if you can and go back to it in the afternoon or later in the week if you have time to do that, hope you get it sorted out will be thinking of you xxx
I don't think it will be emotional on Thursday as its for the boys suppose it depends how nice she has been lol. Not sure whether she will be ok with taking the candle whether she's allowed to take gifts don't know what to do about it any suggestions?

 

[Lolly1985]

Hey ladies!

Thank you for putting up with my whinging yesterday! I took your advice and stepped away and tried again this morning. I started again and managed about a third. I am happier, although not 100%, but think that I can tweek around it. I think that handing my dissertation in last week had caused my brain to shut down once and for all! Final push!!

How have your weekends been? I have of course had assignment issues, but in between had a great night out with DFs cousins (big family!) on Friday, did some holiday shopping (3 weeks today ) and got my mum her birthday pressie. We were invited out for a meal yesterday but thought we best save some pennies. Just got a pork and apple casserole on the go.

Back to work tomorrow, boo! Crazy busy week though so fingers crossed it should fly by.

Loski, I would hope that she could take gifts but understand why you are worried. Have you asked on adoption uk? Sure there are some ladies on there who have experience of it. But if its from your stepkiddies then how could she say no!!

Love to everyone, Lolly xxx

 

[Milty]

Have you guys had to put together a life book?
It's a photo album/scrapbook that has pictures and your families story...
It's used to give to the LO to give them info on you

I'm trying to finish mine but I don't know if I'm putting to much in or not...


Oh and Lolly don't worry that's what we are here for!

 

[Loski83]

Hi don't worry hope it helped to vent abit and that you got a bit of good advice from us all. Just going to go worth the gift as you say it's from the boys anyway so hoping there shouldn't be any problem. Milty I think we call them family books the same thing though, haven't started it yet normally do them once matched with a child so hopefully won't be long for us all to get started. xx

 

[Loski83]

Well our social worker has been on the phone today just to check we are ok and to let us know that he is working on our report and it's all going well he doesn't need to see us for anything yet and will be in contact sometime next week to give another update and arrange to see us if he needs to. He also said we still on target for our panel date
I asked him if we are ok to give sons sw a present from them he said it is fine and he thinks she will be very touched as she's always saying how much she likes them

 

[puppymom32]

Wohoo Yay that awesome news!!! Glad things are still on track.

 

[Loski83]

More phone calls today asking for correct addresses for references etc they have been posted out today for them to check and sign so that what he has written can be added into our report feels like its actually moving along now. Boys sw is out tomorrow night with their part of report we get kicked out of the room so she can speak to the boys so won't know much of that lol. Will update with what I can tomorrow and how she receives her gift xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Good luck for tomorrow Loski, will be thinking of you. Sounds like it is busy busy and all is moving along very positively Looking forward to an update xxxxx

 

[Milty]

Don't worry to much about what the boys will say I think SW are used to it...

My son who is 8 told the SW he didn't want to adopt a baby because they had diapers and pooped in their pants...he wanted to adopt a dog because at least it would "go" outside... She thought it was cute...

 

[Loski83]

Thanks milty they have said some cringeworthy stuff to her over the last few months but nothing too bad lol. This is the final report she has written up on them so we will find out soon enough x

 

[Loski83]

Well sw didn't bring report today she is coming on Wednesday with report and used today as a catch up session so that it's fresher for panel. Seems to be going ok a couple of things 16 year old step son said that she has had to clarify with him. Feeling a bit weird after it all but suppose we will find out on Wednesday. She is sharing notes with our sw on Tuesday morning. On the plus side found out we at panel either 2,3 or 4pm so it narrows it down a bit lol

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi guys

Well I finally got my assignment done! It was all about parental relationships and they impact these have on the child. It makes me realise even more how special parenting is and I so can't wait to be a mummy

Loski, will be thinking of you on Wednesday, it seems like a massive build up, how you function without thinking of it 24/7 But you must be getting so excited. The way things are going I think the next few weeks are going to be a whirlwind and you will have your LO home in no time at all.

How is everyone doing? xxxxx