Adoption journey

[Lolly1985]

Loving the ticker

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi girls! Hope you have all had a great weekend in the sun! Have been enjoying beers, bbqs and catching up with friends and family. Just what we needed.

Sending you all a and will catch up in a week or so after our holiday

Love Lolly xxxxx

 

[Loski83]

Hi lolly feeling a bit burnt, apart from that had a fab weekend. I hope you have a brilliant holiday and by the time you get back I should of had report. Enjoy your break and will speak soon xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Hello ladies

I'm going to cut and paste what I just put in my journal if you don't mind

Well I just went to an adoption open day for the local council. It was quite interesting but I have a few things to think about. I think I have a couple of main problems:

My Income - as I don't really have a regular or even much of an income, they need to know that I would have the funds to support a child - well although I know I will manage somehow I think they need more than that

Local support network - I don't know how my Mum would take to the idea and she is the only local family. Having been brought up by my Dad I know she is not a particular fan of kids and is not in the best of health right now.

Anyway, they also said that I would have to wait for 6 months after a miscarriage and they didn't recommend I take the next step, which is going to an invitation evening event thing, until August or September. Then if I wanted to I could apply, then it would take about a year to get assessed and then a few months for a placement

So I need to think about whether I can really do this, whether I can afford it and how much support I would have, plus what kind of child I would accept if I did

Hope you are all doing OK. Lolly, hope you are having a great holiday and Loski, Puppymom and milty

 

[Loski83]

Hi butterfly why don't you try and find a way to prove you can manage before aug/sept. do you have friends that you could rely on in an emergency and you could also look into childcare in your area. Tell them different support groups you go to for advice ie this one, adoption uk and any others that you go on. Hope this help xx

Quick update, still waiting for par. Spoke to sw yesterday he said everything is ok and we should receive it by Friday. Then we need to read it over the weekend tell him if he's got anything wrong, then sign it. He is coming out on Tuesday ( on a bank holiday) to talk over it and to talk about panel. I really don't think we could of got a better sw. 2 weeks tomorrow till panel

 

[Butterfly67]

Thanks Loski, I'll have to have a look at adoption uk. I think I can try and come up with a financial plan and I guess at least I have time to think it all out.

What is par? Exciting that the panel is so close

 

[Milty]

BF: keep in mind when they say a local support network it means more than just family. They want to know if you had a child which pediatric doctor you would use and what daycare they would go to when you did work. That type of thing as well as if you needed a babysitter who would you use. They want to know you have check into the schools your child would go to and see that you are thinking of their needs.

Loski: It does seem like you have a great SW!

ATM we are just waiting for the approval of my fingerprints...

 

[Loski83]

Butterfly par is prospective adopters report. We need to read it and sign it ready for panel.
Thanks milty he might prove me wrong when it comes to finding a child we shall see hopefully xx
How long should fingerprint approval take then what do you need to do next?

 

[Butterfly67]

Blimey yes I haven't even thought of those things Guess I need to do some homework.

 

[Milty]

I'm not sure on the fingerprint and my SW wasn't either. She did say when people just have them redone it takes about 2 or 3 weeks.

After this it's just accepting one of the matches and placement


Hmm saying that makes me nervous

 

[Loski83]

We got our report today sw brought it out at 1pm I have read it all husband going to read it soon cause he's just finished work. I'm going to read it again and write the mistakes on separate piece of paper. Sw coming back out tomorrow to talk about it and take it back. We also got letter confirming panel date and time we are there at 3:30pm. Feels funny to have it all in writing.

 

[Butterfly67]

Milty that is great news that it could be so soon - but do they not ask you to stop TTC as you are going through the process? I think here you have to give them assurance that you aren't (correct me if I am wrong ladies)

 

[Milty]

No I think you are right for over there. Over here at least in my state there is not a problem. Infact I have a friend who was 6 mths along when she started the process.

 

[puppymom32]

Great news Loski seeing the date in writing must be so exciting to know it is official and not just a far away date.

Good luck butterfly at least you have some time to work out all the kinks.

Milty surely they can figure something out with the finger prints. I forget are you doing a private adoption or through the foster system?

 

[Milty]

I'm going through DHS but will not be fostering

 

[Loski83]

Par all signed and sent off now. Talked about panel abit and now we don't see sw till panel day aaahhh feeling s**t scared.

 

[Butterfly67]

Par all signed and sent off now. Talked about panel abit and now we don't see sw till panel day aaahhh feeling s**t scared.

 

[Milty]

So exciting Loski!!!

How long after panel is placement.

 

[Loski83]

He doesn't think it will take us long as he has already spoken to different authority's about us. Hopefully sept/oct/nov time. He has recommended that we get approved for under 2 year old. Hope it doesn't take long though but getting good at waiting now xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hellooooo!!

Hope everyone is good!

Loski, I can't believe a week tomorrow is prep! How was reading PAR? How long was it? Bet it is surreal to see how much you actually cover during HS. Your SW is a gem

Milty, hope fingerprint is all checked a cleared asap! Sounds once that is boxed off you will progress fast

Butterfly, sounds like you are well informed at this stage. There are always many things to think about, and it is good that you can tackle some of the tricky things early on so that hopefully if you do decide you would like to progress you have answers to possible potential problems. Also I have found from my enquiries that agencies do vary and a problem to one may be a strength to another. Good luck with the path you chose

Hi Puppymom, hope you and LO are good

Had a fab holiday, just what we needed, sun, sand, relaxation, good food and lots of alcohol!! It was so cheap as Bulgaria are not in the euro so the exchange was brilliant. Pints were 50p, cocktails around £3, but always buy one get one free as happy hour lasts all day! We had lovely meals out on the seafront with around three drinks each to the equivalent of £12ish! It was mad!

We walked on the beach, visited the ancient town were the vines all grew, there were little fishing harbours, church and castle ruins and statues. The other way was the strip where all the touristy bits were for buying souvenirs and knock of clothes and sunglasses etc. We had one day of rain but other than that it was around 28 degrees but did get up to 30 one day which is too hot for me. That was a pool day! The complex was lovely, big rooms, very clean – the maids made towel swans, fans, bows and rabbits on our bed every day. Only downside was the flight which was delayed a lot of the night on the way back. We had no sleep for 30 hours!! Most slept once we got on the plane but I was too terrified to relax (hate hate hate flying!!) When we got back Jedward were at the airport so everything took ages as a load of teenage girls were screaming and grabbing them while they ran around like crazy men, so security was tight!

DFs stepmum has been asking a lot about adoption. She seemed to think we would get a little baby and went on and on about shopping for baby b ooties etc etc. I had to tell her that this is very unlikely and gave the many reasons. I had to drum it into her many times but think she is better informed. DFs dad admitted he is concerned that our child will have many 'issues'. Again explained that while there are always many consideration when adoptiong a child from the care system, many difficulties can improve/developmentally catch up with the right input and care from us and help from our support network and SW and adoption team etc etc. I hope that they understand a little better, and know that these conversations will occur more and more frequently over the coming months.

Anyway, still catching up on emails etc so better run. Love to you all, Lolly xxxx