Am I Being Unreasonable?

[Mummy May]

I know Christmas probs seems ages away to most of you, but not to me lol! Anyway, last Christmas DD's Dad asked if he could have her on Xmas eve and I said that he could have her this year. But I've told him that if he wants to have her then he needs to take the night off work. Usually he works every Christmas eve, he starts at 8 and finishes at about 2am (then after he's messed about and taken the staff home its about 3 by the times he's back). My daughter usually goes to bed at about 8 and I think the time after that should be spent making everything nice for the morning... And probably settling her since she will be excited.
Am I being unreasonable asking him to take the night off? My work collegue said not but would like some other opinions.
Ohh and he works for his parents so getting it off wouldn't be a problem
Xx

 

[Ceejay123]

Haha.. No. If he doesn't get the night off work, I'd say you're having them Christmas Eve, he can pick them up 10-11am (as he'll need sleep) Christmas morning or something, so they get breakfast with you.

What's the point in them spending Christmas Eve with grandparents when you're sitting there missing them ? X

 

[Mummy May]

Well that's the thing, they will all be working so she will just be asleep upstairs on her own. I'm really not feeling it lol! Xx

 

[Mrs R]

What's the point in him having her if everybody's at work? If he doesn't take it off, I would do as ceejay says and let him have her in the morning. If he really wants her, he can take the night off and spend it properly with her. IMO anyway lol

 

[Mummy May]

Yeah usually I have her Xmas eve, then she goes to him at about 1/2 and stays right through to boxing day xx

 

[Lauraxamy]

I agree. No point her being there if everybodys off working. If he can't take the night off then I'd do what you normally do and let him have her for half the day on Christmas Day.

 

[Boomerslady]

That's not unreasonable at all!! If he's not there with her he shouldn't be asking to have her !! Plus surely she'll be up early excited for Xmas and he'll have had what 4 hours sleep max?? That's mad! He should want the night off to make sure he's refreshed enough to enjoy it Xmas morning.

Me and FOB have an Xmas arrangement and I hate it!!! Bens birthday is 23rd Dec so one of us has him birthday morning, then the other gets birthday afternoon, as eve and Xmas morning, then the other gets Xmas afternoon and Boxing Day!! Was the fairest way to do it but I hate it! Was on my own last Xmas day until 1, it sucked!!

 

[Mummy May]

It is realllyyy crap having to split her tbh but its still better than the shit relationship I had with him When she's old enough she will make her own decision where to stay I suppose xx

 

[kmbabycrazy]

I agree there's no point if everybody's working, just seems silly to me x

 

[Toms Mummy]

Who will be looking after you LO when she's asleep in bed?...... I understand that he'll be there until she goes to bed? But then like others have said, kids get up super early on xmas day and he'll have only had a couple of hrs sleep! That's not fair on you LO x

 

[Mummy May]

Erm nobody, they leave her asleep upstairs and just go up and down to check on her. Most of the time his Dad is there but on Xmas eve they work. I think imjustgonna keep her xx

 

[Toms Mummy]

Aah, so they work where they live?..... I was thinking that they went out to work! x

 

[Mummy May]

No, they own a pub! A very busy bouncing town pub lol xx

 

[Natsku]

Well if he's just working downstairs then I think thats a bit different. I'd suggest to him that he does a shorter shift christmas eve so he still helps his parents a bit but he gets enough sleep to be awake enough early in the morning when she wakes up. But I don't think its unreasonable to ask him to take the night off either.

 

[Mummy May]

Well if he's just working downstairs then I think thats a bit different. I'd suggest to him that he does a shorter shift christmas eve so he still helps his parents a bit but he gets enough sleep to be awake enough early in the morning when she wakes up. But I don't think its unreasonable to ask him to take the night off either.

He can't do a shorter shift, they have set shifts in there and even though they're his parents, he doesn't get any advantages from that - infact I think he's worse off lol! Plus he still has to take the staff home when it closes. I'm going to have a chat with him when I next see him xx

 

[Natsku]

Well if he's just working downstairs then I think thats a bit different. I'd suggest to him that he does a shorter shift christmas eve so he still helps his parents a bit but he gets enough sleep to be awake enough early in the morning when she wakes up. But I don't think its unreasonable to ask him to take the night off either.

He can't do a shorter shift, they have set shifts in there and even though they're his parents, he doesn't get any advantages from that - infact I think he's worse off lol! Plus he still has to take the staff home when it closes. I'm going to have a chat with him when I next see him xx

Ah well in that case then I think he should either take the night off or you keep her for the night.

 

[weewdy]

What age is your dd?

 

[Mummy May]

She's 3 in August, and she really understands now, that's why it's so important to me that he makes a big effort xx

 

[lhancock90]

No point if hes working really