This is an upsetting thread.
At the end of the day we are all trying to do our best for our children. I'm a SAHM and I am well aware how truly lucky I am to be able to do that, to have a husband who earns enough to support us all. I am privileged to be in this position and I thank my lucky stars for that.
But there is always guilt, no matter what you do. My little boy is so attached to me, at baby groups his little friends are so carefree and busy having fun, they clearly adore their mums (mums who work part time for example) but are so confident and secure, and my little dude needs to be near me or on me most of the time. I worry that he's missing out by not going to a nursery and developing his social skills.
I'm not a career woman. I never have been, I never found my niche and ended up in a job I had no attachment to. It paid the bills, that was all. So I feel no need to go back to it. I'm about to turn 30, so I would have expected to find a career by now. I have a friend who is a high flying lawyer, if she had decided to stay at home with her baby (which wasn't possible because she's the breadwinner) she would have jeopardised everything she worked so hard for. And also, it's a part of who she is. She isn't just a mum, she's a woman in her own right and loves her work. She shouldn't have to give that up just because she's now got another part to her life, motherhood.
I always said I didn't want to lose my identity as a women once I became a mum. For me that doesn't include work, as I've already said I am career-less
But I wanted to keep my identity as an avid gym-goer, a wife, a friend. I don't think it should be any different if someone values their career that they have worked so hard for.
And if it's simply the case that the parents have no choice and have to work long hours to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads, then I applaud them. They work hard to provide for their families.
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