Am i the only one who thinks this is wrong?

[gezma]

Just to throw another side to this... A boy in my daughter's old nursery went there from 7.30 to 6pm 5 days a week because his mother was disabled and had mobility problems... Does this mean she should never have a child and become a mum..No, she is an amazing mum.
The child was thriving in nursery and had quality time with his mum after nursery when his dad had finished work and was there to help and at weekends...so this lady was doing the best for her child... So don't judge until you know all the facts...

 

[Indigo77]

Wow...I cannot believe this thread is still live!

Working mothers....I have so much respect for you!

Working single mothers...I am in awe of you!

Please don't feel guilty...You are providing for your child(ren).

Please be proud!

 

[CarliCareBear]

b) She is extremely young, naive, short sighted and genuinely wanted peoples opinions about it (but by going the wrong way and calling it 'wrong').

i genuinely do think that this is what happened, but if anything is wrong it's her choice of words!

 

[aliss]

b) She is extremely young, naive, short sighted and genuinely wanted peoples opinions about it (but by going the wrong way and calling it 'wrong').

i genuinely do think that this is what happened, but if anything is wrong it's her choice of words!

Agreed it is naitivity, obviously if you are a SAHM then you have somebody providing for you (like my OH does, I am a SAHM) but obviously that isn't always the case. Most women in this world have to work, it's very easy to come from a privileged position and think that everyone has it like that too. Have to look outside the bubble, motherhood is not only for the privileged women who have someone financially supporting everything.

 

[LisaL79]

I wouldn't be able to do it, but I understand why others need to leave their LO for that long. I'm sure most parents wish they didn't have to, but in this very expensive world we live in it's the only option.
Hopefully those children grow to realize just how hard their parent(s) worked to provide for them.

 

[hubblybubbly]

My husband works the other side of the world, I still have to work to keep my baby clothed, fed and warm, I have no choice but to put her into long days at nursery as I do a 8-6 job. I am essentially a lone parent who contributes to society and brings up a very happy baby.

Maybe I should just apply for benefits instead? Would that make me a better mum? Or maybe I should take her to work and put her under my desk so she still has mummy time?

You're thread is offensive and narrow minded.

 

[Pielette]

This is an upsetting thread.

At the end of the day we are all trying to do our best for our children. I'm a SAHM and I am well aware how truly lucky I am to be able to do that, to have a husband who earns enough to support us all. I am privileged to be in this position and I thank my lucky stars for that.

But there is always guilt, no matter what you do. My little boy is so attached to me, at baby groups his little friends are so carefree and busy having fun, they clearly adore their mums (mums who work part time for example) but are so confident and secure, and my little dude needs to be near me or on me most of the time. I worry that he's missing out by not going to a nursery and developing his social skills.

I'm not a career woman. I never have been, I never found my niche and ended up in a job I had no attachment to. It paid the bills, that was all. So I feel no need to go back to it. I'm about to turn 30, so I would have expected to find a career by now. I have a friend who is a high flying lawyer, if she had decided to stay at home with her baby (which wasn't possible because she's the breadwinner) she would have jeopardised everything she worked so hard for. And also, it's a part of who she is. She isn't just a mum, she's a woman in her own right and loves her work. She shouldn't have to give that up just because she's now got another part to her life, motherhood.

I always said I didn't want to lose my identity as a women once I became a mum. For me that doesn't include work, as I've already said I am career-less But I wanted to keep my identity as an avid gym-goer, a wife, a friend. I don't think it should be any different if someone values their career that they have worked so hard for.

And if it's simply the case that the parents have no choice and have to work long hours to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads, then I applaud them. They work hard to provide for their families.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I really hope no one is feeling guilty. Not everyone is in the position to be with their baby all day, which is why places like the nursery described exist. Circumstances dictate the choices we have up make sometimes.

Each and every one of you is a FAB mummy.

Group hug

 

[Scottish mum]

My goodness this thread started yesterday. I've just logged on and read more of the post. A few thing really. I will be going back to work
1) for money
2) for my own sanity lol
Does that make me a bad mum I don't think so. My lo will be going to nursery school for three days a week.

Another thing I wanted to mention was my dad was in the navy so was always away yet I'm a daddys girl (28 year old) lol and always have been it didn't affect my relationship with him!!

X

 

[Dk1234]

Correct me if I'm wrong but out of everyone that is so up in arms I've not see. One person who actually leaves their child in nursery 60 hrs a week.

 

[devon_91x]

Oh god, some of you really like this forum too literally. I hope nobody feels guilty as that was not my intention at all I was simply saying I don't think it's right that your child spends more time with a caregiver than with their own parents. But like I said several times I'm not in that situation so its easy for me to judge. Maybe I am naive but I still stick to my opinion and I respect everyone else's opinions at the same time. I didn't start this thread to cause a debate I was just genuinely looking for opinions. At the end of the day I'm just a random person at the other end of a computer, half way across the world to some of you, if you are getting so worked up at what I'm saying you have problems. This has been taken way out of hand..

 

[overcomer79]

.

 

[Tasha]

Oh god, some of you really like this forum too literally. I hope nobody feels guilty as that was not my intention at all I was simply saying I don't think it's right that your child spends more time with a caregiver than with their own parents. But like I said several times I'm not in that situation so its easy for me to judge. Maybe I am naive but I still stick to my opinion and I respect everyone else's opinions at the same time. I didn't start this thread to cause a debate I was just genuinely looking for opinions. At the end of the day I'm just a random person at the other end of a computer, half way across the world to some of you, if you are getting so worked up at what I'm saying you have problems. This has been taken way out of hand..

Well that is just rude. Rather than say ooops I am sorry I have upset some of you, you tell them they have problems!?!!?!

There is a huge amount of guilt tied into leaving your child in a childcare setting, for many people. Even though many know they have no choice and are doing it in their childs best interests, it doesnt stop it being difficult for them and then someone (internet or not) comes along and says its wrong, well its bound to upset.

 

[Athena]

You're still just a judgemental gossip in my opinion. You started the thread wanting everyone to agree with your short sightedness you even used the tag 'wrong' how dare you accuse mums of being in the wrong when you know nothing about their situation.

You will probably be one of those bitchy catty gossip mums who talks about everyone at the school gates behind their backs, you know the ones no one likes.

Why don't you do yourself a favour and next time engage your brain before you upset a lot of people all at once and make them feel bad for the choices they've made just because you want someone to agree with your holier than thou attitude. I would be ashamed if I were you!

 

[overcomer79]

This is the third person this week that has been telling me I'm doing wrong. I guess it would be better to let tax payers support my children rather than me .

I'm seriously thinking I can't find support here any longer...

 

[devon_91x]

Lol what's a 'troll' ?

 

[Akinesia]

Of course it's fair to call her a troll. It's my opinion. And who's to say I haven't reported the thread already? Why tell me what to do?

 

[Scottish mum]

This is the third person this week that has been telling me I'm doing wrong. I guess it would be better to let tax payers support my children rather than me .

I'm seriously thinking I can't find support here any longer...

Stay where you are there lots of us here to provide support : ) you xx

 

[Tasha]

This is the third person this week that has been telling me I'm doing wrong. I guess it would be better to let tax payers support my children rather than me .

I'm seriously thinking I can't find support here any longer...

you are doing the best you can for your child, in your circumstances. No one in the whole world is in exactly the same person as you, with the same baby and in the same position so no one has walked a mile in your shoes.

Be proud of yourself for doing your best, as that is all any of us can do

 

[Wobbles]

This thread has been moved to the news & debates.

It is the members choice if they wish to continue or join the discussion. I advise anyone who takes any discussions within this section personal to ignore/unsubscribe.

Calling troll on the forum (these have been removed) is not acceptable forum behaviour.