Am i the only one who thinks this is wrong?

[Tasha]

Do you know as an aside to this, I personally would be worried about the nursery nurse slagging off things I do that she doesnt agree with, to other parents. Its not exactly professional to tell you she disagrees with it is it?

 

[overcomer79]

Plus in the US even if a parent doesn't have to work for finances, most of our health insurance comes from the employer. For government health insurance, it is so low that you would have to piratically homeless to get approved. I'm not going to get started who different debate but if my husband were a sahd, to insure my family would be 800/ month and that's crappy insurance. We would honestly pay more if here were in health coverage because of my crappy coverage. He has awesome coverage and the kids are on his. One day soon, we will be able to put me on that coverage. So 800/month plus all the copays and deductibles is a lot more than having decent insurance for them, a wonderful in home daycare at only 700/month (that's both children). If we hadn't found her, we probably wouldn't have had another child. Like I said our finances are getting there but if I waited until they were completely sorted, then I would miss out on the greatest joys of my life. We were young, we made mistakes, we learned from them but that shouldn't stop us from enjoying having a family.

 

[overcomer79]

Do you know as an aside to this, I personally would be worried about the nursery nurse slagging off things I do that she doesnt agree with, to other parents. Its not exactly professional to tell you she disagrees with it is it?

agree with that...really makes you think twice about someone.

 

[Dragonfly]

I can see all ends of this, havnt read back as its a long thread. I feel for parents hwo have to be away working all the time from their kids. Cant be nice only seeing them at bed time. My parents where like that with me and I got to see them if I got up out of bed to say hello to them and was sent back to bed again. So they got 2 days off a week. Shift work and my nan looked after us. It was sad for me to and my brother as we didnt get to do anything with our parents growing up . Least wasnt a nursary and with someone I knew so the sadness can be all around here to. We had a lot of nice stuff as I was growing up, nice house, nice cars, boats, caravans and holidays but dont imagine parents would want not to see their kids. Probably to create a better life for them rather than being on benefits. Things are tougher these days to moneywise.

 

[Wobbles]

Do you know as an aside to this, I personally would be worried about the nursery nurse slagging off things I do that she doesnt agree with, to other parents. Its not exactly professional to tell you she disagrees with it is it?

I thought this but haven't had time to add much of a personal opinion on the topic.

 

[Noodlebear]

The title of this thread is "Am i the only one who thinks this is wrong?"

Oh no, she wasn't trying to offend anyone at all. Good lord, grow up OP. This is pretty much the stupidest thread I have ever seen on this board, why isn't it locked yet?

In all honesty I think if you can't give your opinion without being directly horrid to someone that telling her to grow up might be a tad hypocritical I don't think it should be locked, when people aren't being catty it's actually a pretty interesting discussion about different experiences. (and I realize this comment is one of MANY nasty ones that have been left by people)

 

[Andypanda6570]

People have to work they have to put food on the table and clothes on their children and pay bills , it aint easy now a days. I doubt they like putting their kids 12 hrs a day in Nursery, but what do they do? I don't find anything wrong with it and I certainly would never ever judge them. I am and was a SAHM ( My boys are big now) but I was blessed to be able to stay home with them, some people have to work some people are just getting by and the last thing they need is someone telling them 12 hrs a day is to long and judging them, that is terrible IMO. WOW..

 

[smokey]

I wasnt in childcare quite this long but my parents both worked full time, in fact my mum had three jobs.
My dad whent off to work at 6am so I didnt see him in the morning, my mum started at 9 so I saw her for about an hour in the morning.
My mum would then finish at about 4 so I saw her from about 4:30 till 7pm when she whent to another job where she was a sleep in on call matron nurse so my dad looked after me over night then id see my mum again the next morning.

All in all I saw my dad about 2 hours a day and my mum about 3 hours a day.
This didnt effect our relationship at all, yes a had the odd teary evening when I was younger when I didnt want mum to go but for the most part I was very proud of my mum.
I knew they had to work and they always found ways to make it up to me whenever they could and I am extremly close to my parents and always have been.
Some familys have to do it and most survive rather well and thinking back on it now all my memories are of the good times we had and very few are even of time away from them.

 

[Raven24]

i only work two evenings a week so no where near full time and i feel terrible leaving my boys, even though they are left with their daddy. so the idea of working full time is awful to me. but if i had to i would work full time and the boys would go to nursery. i cant imagine any mum wants to leave her child all day but for some people its a diffrence between having food and roof over your head or not.
i work 10 hours and we need that money

 

[Noodlebear]

I too enjoy a good debate. I will admit to be offended by the original post. It's not because I'm insecure in my choices. I just felt the OP was basing an opinion - which she has every right to - on very little information. A lot of working moms on the forum have provided insight into why a mother may have to leave their child at daycare for 12 hours, but she still refuses to consider that her viewpoint may be a tad unfair.

Again, I enjoy a debate. I've learned a lot on BnB and I appreciate different perspectives. But I think it's a bit pointless to express an opinion, ask others what they think and then not consider for a moment that you may have been quick to make assumptions.

I don't agree with the OP, I think leaving LO for a long time isn't what anyone wants to do and I most certainly don't think it's 'wrong' (far from ideal though) I just think that some people have been particularly unkind to her. I don't think she meant to offend, even though the post wasn't the most tactful. But I HATE when people get really personal and direct insults at eachother and she actually has repeatedly admitted that she could've worded things better.....all the people that have jumped on her not only for the OP but also for apologising have been really unfair, she can't really win on this one. I think she's accepted a variety of opinions from people that haven't jumped down her throat for hers.

For the record - you're not actually one of the people I think were out of order and I'm not trying to argue with you lol

also want to clarify again that the OP's opinion is not something I share, I just don't think I have to be awful to someone to disagree with them and it grates on me when I see that happen to people x

 

[overcomer79]

IMO you can't win either way. If you don't work, you are sorry and don't deserve your kids, if you do work you are sorry and don't deserve your kids. I just don't get why we have to be bothered to so much by what other people do to the point of rushing home and writing a thread about it?

SAHMs get it to. "Why don't you go back to work?" I know, I have seen some threads on here about it.

 

[weejenb]

I'm staying out of the general discussion of this topic, but thought you'd all find this shocking - OH's sister is a nursery nurse, and apparently some of the parents were upset in December that the nursery was closed on Christmas Day as they wanted to put their LO's in who doesn't want to spend that day with their child?!

 

[special_kala]

I'm staying out of the general discussion of this topic, but thought you'd all find this shocking - OH's sister is a nursery nurse, and apparently some of the parents were upset in December that the nursery was closed on Christmas Day as they wanted to put their LO's in who doesn't want to spend that day with their child?!

Police officers.....nurses...doctors....fire firghters.

Im sure if those people refused to work Christmas day people would be more upset at the fact that there were no paramedics when uncle joe had a had a heart attack then they would at those poor kids in nursery/

 

[Noelle610]

I'm staying out of the general discussion of this topic, but thought you'd all find this shocking - OH's sister is a nursery nurse, and apparently some of the parents were upset in December that the nursery was closed on Christmas Day as they wanted to put their LO's in who doesn't want to spend that day with their child?!

Someone who has to work on Christmas Day. Hotel professionals, police officers, nurses, etc.

 

[Dragonfly]

My mum had to work in Christmas day in a nursing home , she was gutted but someone has to do it these places dont close and not everyone gets Christmas off. I dont think parents are bad for working and sahms are bad for not. We cant all have the same lives.

 

[Noodlebear]

IMO you can't win either way. If you don't work, you are sorry and don't deserve your kids, if you do work you are sorry and don't deserve your kids. I just don't get why we have to be bothered to so much by what other people do to the point of rushing home and writing a thread about it?

SAHMs get it to. "Why don't you go back to work?" I know, I have seen some threads on here about it.

I used to work on the condor ferries, someone has to be aboard 24/7 but they would never make a parent work on xmas day unless they put themselves forward for it! There are always other people wanting those extra shifts, so a parent having to work xmas day is sad

 

[weejenb]

To all those saying nurses, police officers etc - I get that, I'm a student nurse myself (on mat leave obviously) but these parents weren't working, they just wanted their LO in nursery on that day shoulda made that clearer in the first post, sorry!

 

[smokey]

I'm staying out of the general discussion of this topic, but thought you'd all find this shocking - OH's sister is a nursery nurse, and apparently some of the parents were upset in December that the nursery was closed on Christmas Day as they wanted to put their LO's in who doesn't want to spend that day with their child?!

Police officers.....nurses...doctors....fire firghters.

Im sure if those people refused to work Christmas day people would be more upset at the fact that there were no paramedics when uncle joe had a had a heart attack then they would at those poor kids in nursery/

I agree.
One of my past resturant jobs tried to make me work christmas day, the option was basicly you work it or dont bother coming back to work, I told them bye bye because I at least had hubby to fall back on money wise and we did suffer a little but nothing major.
Others just dont have that choice, they are either single parents trying to do their best or are going through a tight time and have no real option.
Missing a christmas while very upsetting is alot better then lossing the roof over their head because you got fired.

 

[special_kala]

My brother is a firefighter as far as im aware at christmas they put your names into a hat, he doesnt choose to work christmas day.

Most nurses are women who are mothers so just getting a childless person to do it isnt always a option/

 

[Noodlebear]

Which is why I said it was sad