Am i the only one who thinks this is wrong?

[Broodypants]

Wow the joys of having an opinion!

You have over 800 posts and have been a member for over a year, you must know by now that if you have a strong opinion others will too. By all means have your opinion but don't be so naive as to think situations aren't different for everyone else and your opinion isn't going to offend those people.

Oh yea definatly and i respect peoples opinions 100%. I've seen countless threads on here bashing my parenting choices such as formula feeding, controlled crying, early weaning etc etc. I've even been called horrible names on here before because i do CC with my LO. But everyone has different opinions. Of course nobody is going to parent in the same way, but i do respect other parents. I'm not naive and i have said countless times i can understand everyone has a different situation which is probably why i feel they way i do as i haven't walked in someones elses shoes.

If you claim to respect other parents then it's a very strange thread to start.

 

[Indigo77]

To answer your question....

Yes, you are the only one who thinks this is wrong...

 

[MiniKiwi]

This thread

OP, do you not think it's hard enough already for the parents who HAVE NO CHOICE but to put their babies in childcare?

Massive respect to moms who are working, I find life tiring and hard enough being a sahm.

 

[midori1999]

Also, my husband works very long hours and has even been in Afghanistan for three months sicne my LO was born (sh eis 18 months old now) and he has an amazing relationship with her.

My older children (this is my second marriage) barely saw their Dad for years as he was working abroad and still don't see him that often, yet they also adore him and have a fantastic relationship with him. In fact, the oldest is now living with his Dad doing an apprenticeship with his Dad at his Uncle's company to follow the same career.

Having a relationship is not about the amount of time you spend with a child, it's about making that time count and mean something.

 

[Tasha]

All i'm saying is that as a child i would have loved a relationship with my dad. Yes we had a massive house, yes we had holidays abroad twice a year, yes we got everything we wanted, but if i could go back now and swap all that just to be able to spend more time with my dad i would. And i know if my LO grew up thinking like that id be devastated.

The thing is most people arent working for luxuries, they are working to keep a roof over their child's head, food in their belly. And lets face it, who can be picky with what job they take in this climate? Some people are taking jobs with only 24 hours a week and trying to get p/t work else where to pay the bills, others the sort of jobs they are in means they have to work twelve hours or more a day and they work that or they get the sack and dont have a job at all.

 

[shorman]

For some people its a case of not being able to pay the mortgage rather then just having less money

Tbh, if I was going to leave my child in a nursery and th eworker was gossiping about and judging other parents that left their children there, I'd view her as unprofessional and wonder what she was going to say about me. I'd look for somewhere else to leave my child.

No one else can make me feel anything. I'm not offended by your opinion, I am a SAHM, but even if I did work (and I have had to in the past) I still wouldn't be offended, because I know I do my best for my child and I am old enough to be confident in my own decisions.

Bizarre really that you say you do CC, eg. leave your baby alone to cry, and are happy with that, but it is wrong for a parent to leave their child to be well cared for by a responsible and qualified adult...

Sorry I think what you just said was so rude

 

[whit.]

Also, my husband works very long hours and has even been in Afghanistan for three months sicne my LO was born (sh eis 18 months old now) and he has an amazing relationship with her.

My older children (this is my second marriage) barely saw their Dad for years as he was working abroad and still don't see him that often, yet they also adore him and have a fantastic relationship with him. In fact, the oldest is now living with his Dad doing an apprenticeship with his Dad at his Uncle's company to follow the same career.

Having a relationship is not about the amount of time you spend with a child, it's about making that time count and mean something.

How selfish of your DH to be in Afghanistan for 3 months of your LO's life. Didn't you know there was that chance before you started TTC?

 

[devon_91x]

Like i said, agree to disagree..

 

[pompeyvix]

Wow the joys of having an opinion!

You have over 800 posts and have been a member for over a year, you must know by now that if you have a strong opinion others will too. By all means have your opinion but don't be so naive as to think situations aren't different for everyone else and your opinion isn't going to offend those people.

Oh yea definatly and i respect peoples opinions 100%. I've seen countless threads on here bashing my parenting choices such as formula feeding, controlled crying, early weaning etc etc. I've even been called horrible names on here before because i do CC with my LO. But everyone has different opinions. Of course nobody is going to parent in the same way, but i do respect other parents. I'm not naive and i have said countless times i can understand everyone has a different situation which is probably why i feel they way i do as i haven't walked in someones elses shoes.

But you can't 'respect peoples opinions 100%' though can you, when in your thread title you call it WRONG!

 

[midori1999]

For some people its a case of not being able to pay the mortgage rather then just having less money

Tbh, if I was going to leave my child in a nursery and th eworker was gossiping about and judging other parents that left their children there, I'd view her as unprofessional and wonder what she was going to say about me. I'd look for somewhere else to leave my child.

No one else can make me feel anything. I'm not offended by your opinion, I am a SAHM, but even if I did work (and I have had to in the past) I still wouldn't be offended, because I know I do my best for my child and I am old enough to be confident in my own decisions.

Bizarre really that you say you do CC, eg. leave your baby alone to cry, and are happy with that, but it is wrong for a parent to leave their child to be well cared for by a responsible and qualified adult...

Sorry I think what you just said was so rude

Really? Perhaps you can clarify what you think was rude exactly?

 

[shorman]

About leaving her baby to cry just thought that was uncalled for?

 

[midori1999]

Also, my husband works very long hours and has even been in Afghanistan for three months sicne my LO was born (sh eis 18 months old now) and he has an amazing relationship with her.

My older children (this is my second marriage) barely saw their Dad for years as he was working abroad and still don't see him that often, yet they also adore him and have a fantastic relationship with him. In fact, the oldest is now living with his Dad doing an apprenticeship with his Dad at his Uncle's company to follow the same career.

Having a relationship is not about the amount of time you spend with a child, it's about making that time count and mean something.

How selfish of your DH to be in Afghanistan for 3 months of your LO's life. Didn't you know there was that chance before you started TTC?

I know, shocking isn't it, he could have been killed and everything...

In fact, that's a whole other thread, isn't it? Should serving soldier or forces couples have children?!

 

[dachsundmom]

Also, my husband works very long hours and has even been in Afghanistan for three months sicne my LO was born (sh eis 18 months old now) and he has an amazing relationship with her.

My older children (this is my second marriage) barely saw their Dad for years as he was working abroad and still don't see him that often, yet they also adore him and have a fantastic relationship with him. In fact, the oldest is now living with his Dad doing an apprenticeship with his Dad at his Uncle's company to follow the same career.

Having a relationship is not about the amount of time you spend with a child, it's about making that time count and mean something.

How selfish of your DH to be in Afghanistan for 3 months of your LO's life. Didn't you know there was that chance before you started TTC?

Even more selfish if you got knocked up during mid-tour leave!

 

[midori1999]

About leaving her baby to cry just thought that was uncalled for?

The point was, the OP is happy to do that, but wants to critiscise other parents who have to leave their children to be cared for while they work.

Never heard the phrase 'people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones'?

 

[Athena]

What was the whole point of this thread? You and the nursery worker were just gossiping; her telling you that parents leave their kids for for 12 hours a day and she gives them their breakfast, lunch and dinner tsk tsk, oh I say.. and your thinking 'this is wrong' I must go home and make a thread on baby and bump about this immediately, to ask others if this is 'wrong'!

There are a lot of your type at the school gates whispering about the kids that have to go to breakfast club because their parents work. Oh and the ones that get free school meals, because their parents don't work....

What's it like being so judgmental?

Can i just point out the nursery workers also agreed that it was too long to leave a LO and that they disgareed? The point of the thread is that i just wondered if anyone else felt the same as me. You don't, thats fine. Like i said, agree to disgaree..

In that case I would be worried about leaving my child in that nursery even if it was just for the free hours.. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child with someone who was prepared to judge others choices and then gossip about it to other people, but that's just me and I can't stand a gossip.

I think you just started this thread to be controversial, but what you've done is upset and offend the majority of members who have replied. You've also tried backtracking a few times but like a pp said, at least have the conviction to stand by what you've said and not agree to disagree.

 

[devon_91x]

I honestly didn't start this to be controversial I'm not like that. I just wanted to hear other opinions as I've never spoken to anyone in this situation before. I do stand by what I've said, sorry nobody agrees but that's just what I believe x

 

[Tasha]

I dont get it though, what are people meant to do then? If they need to work twelve hours a day, just not have children. That is really unfair. My Mum is a nurse and she works 13 hours a day, many of the nurses she works with have children, they are fantastic Mummy's but they have to work and nursing dictates the hours for you, as do most jobs.

Children are as well looked after for those ten (twelve) hours a day as your child will be for the 2.5 or whatever hours a day they are there

 

[robinator]

BAD: My former boss and his wife had three children and a rotation of 6 nannies, including an overnight nurse to give cuddles to weeping children awakening from nightmares. Heaven forbid the parents be bothered to comfort their own kids. The husband worked but the wife filled her days with lunches, workouts and trips to the spa while pawning her kids off to paid help.

NOT BAD: Sticking your kid in daycare 12 hours a day because you have to work to provide a roof over their heads.

 

[pompeyvix]

I honestly didn't start this to be controversial I'm not like that. I just wanted to hear other opinions as I've never spoken to anyone in this situation before. I do stand by what I've said, sorry nobody agrees but that's just what I believe x

But does it not perhaps tell you something that not one person has agreed with your comment that it's wrong and that you shouldn't have children in the first place if you are going to put them into full time nursery?

Fair enough, it's not something you would personally consider, I get that, but it's certainly not wrong.

 

[bumpy_j]

BAD: My former boss and his wife had three children and a rotation of 6 nannies, including an overnight nurse to give cuddles to weeping children awakening from nightmares. Heaven forbid the parents be bothered to comfort their own kids. The husband worked but the wife filled her days with lunches, workouts and trips to the spa while pawning her kids off to paid help.

what a douche