Am i the only one who thinks this is wrong?

[aliss]

So, I'm guessing police officers, nurses, doctors, paramedics, and all other emergency services workers should not have children either, because 7-7 (and by that, I mean you are already there at 7, and maybe not even leaving at 7) is the standard shift in 'our' line of work

I used to work 7pm-7am and then not sleep so I could be with my son. Understandably, most people would go insane doing that. I know I did.

I have worked with many girls who have had to leave their children in childcare by 6:30am and can't pick them up until 8pm. One woman in particular struggled with that, because she was a single mother, but at least she could put a roof over the child's head.

And do keep in mind not all of us live in a place where the government actually provides some sort of financial support that makes a dent!

 

[mlyn26]

Ooo this is a controversial thread.
Some people are not fortunate enough not to work/work full time. People's circumstances are different so it's wrong to judge. I am lucky I can work part time and not need nursery care. My mum was a single parent and had to work full time to provide for me and my sister so we had to go to nursery full time.

 

[baby287]

Good lord I hope this thread gets closed..obviously she wasn't trying to piss anyone off. Everyone calm the hell down. Some moms have to work some moms don't, there are pros and cons and reasons why blah blah blah...

Life's hard..get a helmet.

 

[aliss]

And damn if you think those American girls are bad, you haven't seen the ones from SE Asia. You've got Philipino women working in Saudi and even the US, full-time nannies, sending home their meagre earnings back home to their parents. The grandparents back in the home country are taking care of the babies, because that Philipino nanny is supporting her whole extended family back home. This is quite common in rural China as well - women leave their only child (the only child they are ALLOWED to have) with their parents and go to work in factories in the megacities to send back the money. No welfare. No social healthcare access. Nothing!

I'm sorry Devon but you have no clue how easy you (and me) have it!

 

[megangrohl]

lol

 

[marron]

Good lord I hope this thread gets closed..obviously she wasn't trying to piss anyone off. Everyone calm the hell down.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. If any part of your thread contains some variation of "sorry if I offend, not trying to start a debate," then maybe you should think twice before posting it.

 

[Dk1234]

I think everyone is being a little harsh. Usually both parents aren't working 60 hr weeks. And I think what she is saying is why isn't one of hem at least cutting back a little. Personally I think that's too much to be in daycare. My mom is a dr and works 12 he shifts and always has but she did that 3 days a week. That is considered full time at most places if you work 12 hr shifts.

I do not think they shouldn't be allowed to have kids.. But I do wonder why at least one or the other can't cut back a little. If they can't, they can't but I don't know any family who both parents work 60 hrs a week. But if you're a single parent I guess you do what you have to do. I don't think it's wrong but I'm sad for those parents that they're missing out aon so much and probably have a lot of guilt.

 

[aliss]

We have friends who both work 60 hours, they are both detectives and it's just par for the course, not really a job you can just up & quit, so they've hired a live-in nanny. They can afford it (including the separate suite for her), but lots can't.

On a side note, if people are bored or don't care about the discussion then by all means move along...? Some of us actually work(ed) these long hours and we have some interest in it.

 

[Tasha]

I said before I am pretty sure it is ten hours a day maximum in the UK, so if you think about an hours travel each way and then eight hours a day working is pretty average.

The thing under the OP's name says she is in Essex, well many parents will commute from there into London depending on where etc that can be a 1.5 to 2 hr journey, so you're looking at three to four hours travelling time a day, meaning an eight or nine hour working day, again much more average for both parents to be doing that.

 

[Tasha]

And I guess considering many people find their partners at work, if one needs to work long hours then the likelihood is that the other may be in the same position too.

 

[Dk1234]

If I had to work a 60 hr week I don't think I would have kids. I am far too lazy. Those poor parents. I can't imagine cleaning the house, taking care of baby, and spending some actual quality time together and working 60 hrs. Ugh I'm exhausted thinking of it. I use to work. 60 hrs a week as a Marketing Director of a nursing home. I was always so stressed and grumpy and exhausted. I wouldn't have made a good mom then. I do respect working parents so much.

 

[Tasha]

My sister just confirmed that it is only ten hours per day maximum for a child to be in nursery in the UK. So not only is the nursery nurse gossiping about other parents but either a) its a lie or b) they are breaking the rules on time regulations.

 

[socitycourty]

I can't imagine leaving my son for 30 minutes, let alone 12 hours! I mean wow... I don't understand why both parents would have to work 12+ hours five days a week anyway. Unless they have horribly massive debt!

you can't leave your LO for 30 minutes?

 

[Jaylynne]

Gotta love it when a thread starts with assumptions and judging other situations they've never even experienced.

I don't like that I have to drop Liam off at a sitter 45 hours a week while I go work. But I do like that she spends great 1 on 1 time with him and I like that he's growing more and more independent and that I trust her. But guess what, the kiddo gets the biggest smile when he hears my voice when I come in the door and he reaches for me. I love that I'm so excited to pick him up when work is done. I'm a better mom because I work as I WANT to spend time with him and play. I'm not annoyed when he cries at night. I have more quality time with him now than I did as a SAHM. I have more patience with him. I notice more about him because I'm not staring at him 24/7. I'm doing this for me and for him. Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I need to give everything up for him. It's not necessary.

 

[MrsEngland]

Its not something I woukd choose to do but I'm lucky enough to not have to, if you have to then you have to. Not everyone has a choice about it so I certainly feel blessed to be able to be at home with my girls,

 

[robinator]

I can't imagine leaving my son for 30 minutes, let alone 12 hours! I mean wow... I don't understand why both parents would have to work 12+ hours five days a week anyway. Unless they have horribly massive debt!

you can't leave your LO for 30 minutes?

I certainly can. I left her for a hair appointment earlier this month; it was 30 minutes just to get there

 

[Jaylynne]

being with baby 24/7 doesn't make someone a good mom. And leaving baby at a well researched and professional care facility doesn't make a bad mom.

 

[socitycourty]

yeah, i guess needing an hour or 2 break makes me eeeeevilllllllllllllll!

 

[LilyValley]

OP you may not have meant to offend but this is a very judgemental thread, you only have to look at the inflamed responses to see that. Being a mum is hard enough, there are so many threads on here which show how useless and fed up most of us feel at some points and the responses are lovely - supportive, friendly and enough to help us pick ourselves up to keep going when it seems impossible. Then there are threads like this. Isn't it hard enough being a mum or dad without being judged? It's bad enough that people without kids make insensitive comments, without other PARENTS doing it too. Where is your sense of solidarity with the mums and dads who frequent this forum for support? We should be supporting each other here, not making judgements on others for the choices they make (and sometimes have taken away from them). I'm sure every mum and dad feels a pang of guilt when leaving their LO, even if working is the right choice for them. Don't make working parents feel like they are doing something wrong! I realise your post was about lengthy stays in daycare, but parents choose what is best for THEIR children in THEIR circumstance, you have no right to determine what is right or wrong for them.

Come on, we should be cheering each other on!

 

[weewdy]

I could be wrong but i do think this thread was started just for a debate. I agree with a pp i also work in childcare and am aware that a child can only be in a nursery ten hrs per day.

I am fortunate that i do not need towork those hrs, i live in a cheaper area of scotland (where i was born) where average house price is around 80,000 (3 bed semi detached) so my mortgage is not as expensive as some.

Some mums/dads need to work those hours to provide for their kids, to put a roof over their head and shoes on their feet and i bet thosr mums/dads arent driving about in bentleys with a 10bed mansion in the country. Parents are always judged by someone for something and i personally think the parents that do work these hrs deserve a medal, it cant be easy leaving their kids but they do it because they need to.

We have people fighting for our country who leave their kids for months on end, emergency services who again work very long hours, and many other jobs many of which received very little pay.

Being a mum isnt easy, sometimes you just need to get on with it and do the best you can for YOUR kid and not judge others.