any bad sleepers who temp?

[mummy2o]

So for my secret Santa I'm thinking of giving her this necklace as well as some chocolate as I know she wants to try some English chocolate. So just checking in what you all think to it.
https://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/1618673.htm

BTW how are we all?

 

[jumpingo]

honestly, not too great.
had an early ultrasound (off base, transvaginal) last friday (8w+1d) and it wasn't all good news.

there's a baby, but the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat. i know it could have just been too early, that's what everyone keeps telling me...but i looked up numbers and the american pregnancy association says if the embryo is over 5mm and there's no heartbeat, it qualifies as a missed miscarriage. babyjump was 9.4mm...which is small for 8 weeks, and that's more like 6 weeks+some change, but based on 9.4mm, there still should have been a heartbeat. the japanese doc was really nice but pretty concerned and really urged getting seen again in a week to look again.

it's been a horrible 5 days and the stupid OB clinic on base has been LESS than helpful. but, my husband went in and had a word with them and i am now waiting until tuesday (a week from today) for an on base ultrasound. they asked me to come with a full bladder, so i assume it'll be abdominal, but hope that it'll still be a decent enough picture.

i still have all the morning sickness, sore boobs, dizziness that i've been having, but realize that if it's a missed miscarriage, my body hasn't realized yet anyway and is still pumping out hormones, so it's all irrelevant anyway. i just have a sinking feeling about the whole thing. i'm doing relatively okay today, but "relatively" is the key word there, seeing as i was pretty inconsolable yesterday morning. heh.

i hope everyone else is doing FAR better than me!!!!

 

[Eline]

I'm so sorry to hear that Jump I'm sending you a big hug and a lot of good vibes.

I can't believe you have to wait so long before they can tell you something more. I don't understand why the on base doc wouldn't do an internal scan? Is it possible that you're not as far along as you think?
I am keeping my fingers crossed and I hope you get some news very soon.

 

[mummy2o]

I'm so sorry jump. I sort of know what your going through and I also know that this will be one of the longest weeks of your life. But at least you only had to wait a week. I had 2 weeks to wait whilst I was miscarrying! Hopefully you'll get good news next week, but if your sure of your dates (and two weeks seems a bit doubtful) then we'll be here to support you all the way.

 

[6footnoodle]

honestly, not too great.
had an early ultrasound (off base, transvaginal) last friday (8w+1d) and it wasn't all good news.

there's a baby, but the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat. i know it could have just been too early, that's what everyone keeps telling me...but i looked up numbers and the american pregnancy association says if the embryo is over 5mm and there's no heartbeat, it qualifies as a missed miscarriage. babyjump was 9.4mm...which is small for 8 weeks, and that's more like 6 weeks+some change, but based on 9.4mm, there still should have been a heartbeat. the japanese doc was really nice but pretty concerned and really urged getting seen again in a week to look again.

it's been a horrible 5 days and the stupid OB clinic on base has been LESS than helpful. but, my husband went in and had a word with them and i am now waiting until tuesday (a week from today) for an on base ultrasound. they asked me to come with a full bladder, so i assume it'll be abdominal, but hope that it'll still be a decent enough picture.

i still have all the morning sickness, sore boobs, dizziness that i've been having, but realize that if it's a missed miscarriage, my body hasn't realized yet anyway and is still pumping out hormones, so it's all irrelevant anyway. i just have a sinking feeling about the whole thing. i'm doing relatively okay today, but "relatively" is the key word there, seeing as i was pretty inconsolable yesterday morning. heh.

i hope everyone else is doing FAR better than me!!!!

I'm so sorry jump Thinking of you and praying for the best. I would be going crazy this week. Hopefully baby is just behind.

 

[citrusfruit]

Oh jump, what an agonising time for you and OH. I thought I knew my dates down to the exact day I ovulated, but I was about 5 days out. Even if you're not a week out, baby could just be measuring small for, 7 weeks say. I really hope this is the case.

MMCs are quite rare. It's more likely you will start to miscarry naturally, so every day without pain or bleeding, and when you still have symptoms, is a good sign.

That said, I know this must be extremely difficult and if I was you I would have to prepare myself for the worst too. It's just not fair. Thinking of you x

 

[Eline]

I have developed a small addiction to playing a game called 'dots' on my smartphone. It's a great passtime as apparently you can play it on a subconscious level or something.

I was just playing it to get out of an annoying job at work, then I got sidetracked from playing dots to B&B. Time for the weekend to start....

 

[jumpingo]

oooh, i have that game! i went through a phase of being very addicted and there's a "sister game" called TwoDots that is pretty addicting too. i am a long time LINE Bubble fan. have downloaded other games and tried to get unaddicted but i always come back to line bubble.

 

[citrusfruit]

Hi jump, how are you bearing up? Thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way. I guess you must get some answers this week?

How is everyone else doing? Fruitee how are u keeping?

I am now over halfway, finding it hard to believe and still haven't bought anything at all for baby.

 

[jumpingo]

not doing so hot. i wrote an update in my journal (link in my signature) but basically started bleeding, went to urgent care and still no heartbeat. measuring 7w2d despite being 9w3d according to LMP. got my hcg checked and am going back in on tuesday for a second draw to see if it increases. so, more limbo and feeling horrible deja vu from last ultrasound and this time i'm bleeding, so i have less hope.

 

[citrusfruit]

I'm so sorry jump that you are having such a bad time. You must be so scared. Please look after yourself, I will follow on your journal and be here when you are ready to talk. Will keep you in my thoughts for a bit of positive news on Tuesday x

 

[mummy2o]

I'm so sorry Jump. Hopefully you'll get a quicker results than last time. It really is horrible to be in limbo.

 

[Eline]

I'm so sorry to hear that Jump. I am sending all my love your way.

 

[jumpingo]

thanks ladies.

we lost the baby. the bleeding just continued and the cramps got worse. i was terrified of miscarrying naturally and my husband was at the gym when it happened. am still in the midst of it but the bleeding is lessening, so i think i'm over the worst of it. we are just sad. but we have each other and we'll eventually be okay.

 

[mummy2o]

I'm sorry for your loss. I know what your going through and I know its not nice. It sounds like yours went more smoothly than mine. Just make sure you take it easy and I find its best to have a lot of distractions. Also the girls on the TTCAL thread are brilliant and a great support when I needed it. Just take the time out that you need and when your ready to try again we'll be supporting you all the way

 

[6footnoodle]

thanks ladies.

we lost the baby. the bleeding just continued and the cramps got worse. i was terrified of miscarrying naturally and my husband was at the gym when it happened. am still in the midst of it but the bleeding is lessening, so i think i'm over the worst of it. we are just sad. but we have each other and we'll eventually be okay.

Was coming on to check on you...I'm so sorry for your loss Thinking of you.

 

[citrusfruit]

Jump, make sure you get some support for you. I know you have your hubby but make sure you have someone else to talk to if you need it. We are all here if you need to chat. I'm sure you could private message any one of us if you wanted to talk more.

I'm glad you and your hubby are supporting each other. I hope in time you will heal and can regroup. Take care, jump.

 

[Eline]

I'm so sorry. We'll be over here waiting for you, Jumpingo.

 

[mummy2o]

How you doing Jumpingo?

 

[jumpingo]

definitely better than where i was a week ago at this time.

still have bad days, obviously. but finding support in my husband and a few close friends and beginning to think about trying again since i've stopped bleeding. sadly, i don't want to get pregnant until march now because of my brother's stateside wedding in september. so, we'll be waiting for 3 more months before trying. which, is probably good. to give my head and heart a break. my husband would be trying yesterday if he had it his way.

usually after a good day (read: busy and distracted) i have a bad day, and it's still hard to get out of bed most mornings. nights are bad just because i don't sleep great (as if i needed help in the "bad sleep" department?! right) so mornings are hard because i feel like i haven't slept. i took zzquil the last 2 nights and it seemed to work somewhat. but even still i'm groggy and just feel heavy in the mornings.

i'm hanging in there, though. a new friend of mine reached out and took me out today. she had a miscarriage before her 3 daughters, so was really empathetic and commiserated about the totally ridiculous things people say when they find out. for that reason, i am not telling my family. i might tell them months or years from now. but it would not help me at this point. my grandma doesn't get it and wants me to tell my parents, but my mom will make it that much harder to process and grieve at my own pace. and my friend totally "got" that, which was nice because i feel like so many people are like, "you have to tell your mom/family/etc" and "you shouldn't have hide and suffer in silence." well, guess what? i don't want to broadcast my private business to the world, thankyouverymuch. ← apparently slowly making my way into the angry/snarky stage of grief? ha!!