any bad sleepers who temp?

[Eline]

I'm glad to see you in here, Jump. It's good to hear that you have someone over there to take you out and give you some support. This weekend I learned that someone close to me is in the same situation as you and it is hard to be there for them and know what they need. I hope you can take your time to grief and I hope that slowly you will have more and more good days.

Also, I am now addicted to TwoDots.

 

[jumpingo]

Also, I am now addicted to TwoDots.

YES!

i, on the other hand, have rekindled my addiction to Dots and actually think my husband worries about me because sometimes i will sit there emotionless hitting restart over and over until i get a "good" starting board. it's just that it's so mindless...a welcomed escape really.

my high score is 452 on the # play mode. but i don't know HOW i did it because i usually only get about 280 on any given board.

 

[jumpingo]

as for support for someone in the midst of miscarrying...


"if i bring it up, please let me talk about it, but otherwise, can we PLEASE talk about something else?" is my general stance on the entire subject.

if you don't know what to say, just say "i don't know what to say" because sometimes that one truth is better than people telling you "i'm sorry" all the time. it just gets old after awhile. all the sorrys in the world won't bring our babies back. (this in no way means i don't appreciate the feeling and caring and support behind any "i'm sorry"s i've gotten...)

it's really annoying that one friend ALWAYS asks "how are you feeling today?" because it's like, "um, sh*tty, thanks for asking." and maybe it's just because it's over text messages, but i feel like sometimes that's all she wants to talk about when it's the LAST thing i want to talk about, you know?

someone saying something like, "i can't imagine it's easy to talk about and i'm flattered you were willing to share with me. if you ever need to talk or vent or just cry, i'm always willing to listen," is always nice because it validates the difficulty of the conversation, sort of indirectly compliments the sharer and always leaves the ball in their court on future sharing.

don't know if that helps or if you were even looking for advice, but thanks for letting me sort out my own thoughts on the subject. sometimes i have all these thoughts jumbled in my head, and having to come up with coherent sentences and explain myself helps me get it all out on the page, then i cut and paste and edit it and the whole process helps me figure out how i actually feel about something. so, thanks.

 

[citrusfruit]

Good advice jump. It's really hard to know what to say in any situation if u haven't been in it yourself, let alone one as difficult as this.

Glad to see you in here too. Have been following on your blog and, as someone else mentioned, I am glad to see your posts are seeming that tad bit more upbeat. I'm sure feeling upbeat/distracted is difficult for you to process too. Glad you have some good support - I'm sure everyone means well but I guess there are lots of 'wrong' things to say.

Whatever is this two dots! I must find out!!

 

[mummy2o]

Wow Jump, you didn't bleed long at all. I spent 3 weeks bleeding after my miscarriage. I did retain some product though, which my body sorted out after I next tried to ovulate. This was after I had a scan after I had a miscarriage and they told me my womb was clear, so not believing my early pregnancy unit any more. Was a rather eventful day, a trip down A&E and a rather paranoid me that all my insides where falling out! But then after that I've gone on and had one perfect little girl and now another. Heck even Britians biggest family had 2 miscarriages, 1 late miscarriage and pregnant again with number 18(although only 16 earth babies, as they count the late miscarriage as baby 17, she was 22 weeks I think)

I don't blame you wanting to wait. You've been looking forward to your brothers wedding for so long and you want to be there on a once in a lifetime opportunity. We'll all be here rooting for you when the time comes.

 

[jumpingo]

Good advice jump. It's really hard to know what to say in any situation if u haven't been in it yourself, let alone one as difficult as this.

Glad to see you in here too. Have been following on your blog and, as someone else mentioned, I am glad to see your posts are seeming that tad bit more upbeat. I'm sure feeling upbeat/distracted is difficult for you to process too. Glad you have some good support - I'm sure everyone means well but I guess there are lots of 'wrong' things to say.

Whatever is this two dots! I must find out!!

yeah, and even then, every person will feel different. so, i guess that's just my advice, but it really depends on the person and also depends on your relationship with the person going through the tough time. i guess it's one of those "if my experience can help someone else make their friend/coworker/family member's experience even just a little bit easier by saying something comforting, then it's worth sharing" kind of things...? and yes, i know they usually mean well, but sometimes you are in such a sad place it doesn't matter what they meant, you only know how it feels.

Dots and Two Dots are game apps for iPhones.

Wow Jump, you didn't bleed long at all. I spent 3 weeks bleeding after my miscarriage. I did retain some product though, which my body sorted out after I next tried to ovulate. This was after I had a scan after I had a miscarriage and they told me my womb was clear, so not believing my early pregnancy unit any more. Was a rather eventful day, a trip down A&E and a rather paranoid me that all my insides where falling out! But then after that I've gone on and had one perfect little girl and now another. Heck even Britians biggest family had 2 miscarriages, 1 late miscarriage and pregnant again with number 18(although only 16 earth babies, as they count the late miscarriage as baby 17, she was 22 weeks I think)

I don't blame you wanting to wait. You've been looking forward to your brothers wedding for so long and you want to be there on a once in a lifetime opportunity. We'll all be here rooting for you when the time comes.

yeah, i guess i got "lucky"? the bleeding made it nearly impossible to even think about moving on, so thankfully it didn't last too long. i have an appointment next week with OB. ugh. it's a follow-up for the miscarriage and also a colposcopy that got delayed by me getting pregnant. am terrified but also hate them, so just all around not feeling it we'll see what they say. obviously i don't like the OB here either, so i don't blame you for feeling that way one bit!!




ALSO, enough about ME: how is everyone!?! scans? genders? anything? distract me!

 

[citrusfruit]

Well - I have a serious case of baby brain. Very forgetful, clumsy and absent minded of late! Other than that, just ticking along.

Jump I had colp last year. It's horrid isn't it? I had to have treatment too, but glad to be here, in this position a year later. I'm also now delaying checks due to pregnancy. To be honest it makes me a bit nervous.

 

[jumpingo]

Well - I have a serious case of baby brain. Very forgetful, clumsy and absent minded of late! Other than that, just ticking along.

Jump I had colp last year. It's horrid isn't it? I had to have treatment too, but glad to be here, in this position a year later. I'm also now delaying checks due to pregnancy. To be honest it makes me a bit nervous.

yeah, i had to stop googling because it was too traumatic. i am just hoping it's an easy "fix" or just means getting a pap smear in 6 months instead of 12, and nothing more serious. but, honestly, i'm terrified. and will be taking a 10 hour flight 4 days after the procedure, so hoping that the recovery is quick and uneventful.

 

[mummy2o]

Nothing to really report pregnancy wise. I don't find out the gender until the 8th Jan! Miles away, as my hospital won't scan me New Years Day so I have to wait another week. Never mind. I'm always at bit anxious at the 20 week scan though as that was when they discovered my son had talips(club foot) on his right foot. They also gave me all the extra worry that he might have down syndrome and did I want extra testing. I then spent another 20 weeks worrying about the worse case scenario rather than focus on him. Luckily it was just his foot and that soon got treated within 5 years and now unless someone told you or you look at his foot at his dents you wouldn't know there was anything wrong with him. I know that sometimes treatment doesn't go well and patients have their feet amputated, which is my worse possible fear as I have a strange phobia to people with missing limbs. Which is also another reason I worry about the 20 week scan.

The other issue in my life right now is what to do with my OH. Yes I love him, but he's admitted to me he still has urges to sleep with a man, which I for obvious reasons can't fulfill. So I'm going to have a long serious think about what I want to do future wise. I'll have two babies 14 months apart if we split up, which will be hard work to begin with, but I know it will get easier in the long run. But if that does happen I might just think screw the world and study Business with a language, possible Japanese and go from there.

 

[jumpingo]

mummy2o, sorry you're in a tough spot. i would also think that making big life decisions while pregnant isn't recommended...? hormones and all i hope you and your husband can come to an agreement on how to move forward. definitely sounds like a good long think is in order. and take care of yourself.

 

[Eline]

Thank you for the advise, Jump! I'll definitely keep that in mind when talking to my friend.

That's a difficult place to be in, mummy. Did your OH ever have a same seks relationship before of is it just something he fantasizes about?

 

[6footnoodle]

Glad to see you are sticking around here Jump I can try helping with distractions.

Pregnancy brain moment. I had the laundry washing but decided I wanted to shower in the middle of it. So I went and pressed pause on the machine. Took my shower and forgot about the laundry. I remembered at night before bed but for some reason just thought I had forgot to put it in the dryer. So I went down and took out all my half washed clothes and put them in the dryer. I was wondering why they still had white detergent type marks on the dark clothes. After turning on the dryer and going to close the washer I see that it is flashing 20 min left on the screen. I then clue in that my laundry never finished washing and had to put it all back in the washer. I felt so dumb after.

I had my 12 week scan last week. The picture turned out so clear! I will post it in a few minutes from my phone. maybe you guys can try guessing gender based on skull or nub theories

Mummy2o sorry to hear you are going through a hard time with your OH. I don't know what I would do

 

[6footnoodle]

Here is my 12 week scan. Guess the gender everyone

 

[jumpingo]

6footnoodle, i've done similar things...started the washer but left the lid up and then come home hours later to washer just soaking the clothes and one time did a load and never added soap but didn't realize it until after the load was half dry. and i have no excuse! and i'm guessing boy. no reasoning behind it, really. just a 50/50 chance!

mumm2o, i also second eline's question - is it something he has or plans on acting on? is it something that, without, he could still be happy? or without it, he will be miserable? i have a lot of friends who are either gay or bisexual, and though i've never gotten into discussions with them about it, i would wonder/guess if it's the same as people fantasizing about sleeping with other people (regardless of gender)? that doesn't necessarily mean that the marriage (or relationship, or whatever) can't work, it just means there is a level to which that person has to consciously "choose" their partner over any of those other "temptations." just thinking out loud.

 

[itsautumn]

I was wondering about this too! I never temp at the same time of the day because my sleep schedule varies. My temps were all over the price at first but recently they got more regular which may be my ovulation time... I'm wondering about this too! I may have to just put myself on a sleep schedule I guess...

 

[citrusfruit]

Lovely clear pic noodle, I'll go with girl, just to even it out and because it looks a little different to mine and I'm having a boy!

Mummy, I'm sorry about the issues you are have with OH. I'm not sure I really have any advice, but I do think you are right to try and work through his feelings and what they might mean or lead to down the line. I'm also struggling a little in my relationship. I'm sure many people feel like this, but I feel like our relationship has changed. We haven't been intimate for god knows how long, and I feel it would be odd to now I'm bigger. I find it hard to feel sexual. In fact, I'm not feeling very attractive all round, to be honest! We both have a dozen things on our plate and I feel like I really miss being able to go and have a drink and a good time and loosen up around each other.

Thanks in advance for letting me rant (not that you all had any choice!) Any advice warmly welcomed!

 

[jumpingo]

I was wondering about this too! I never temp at the same time of the day because my sleep schedule varies. My temps were all over the price at first but recently they got more regular which may be my ovulation time... I'm wondering about this too! I may have to just put myself on a sleep schedule I guess...

itsautumn, welcome!:wave:

i am a horrible sleeper, but after 4 months of temping, my conclusion is this: there are a ton of variables that can affect your temperature. sleep, covers, room temperature, sleeping with your mouth open, having interrupted sleep, bathroom breaks, taking care of little ones, the list is pretty much endless. so, FF will say you should pick the same time and have had 3 hours of interrupted sleep, but that's pretty much unattainable for us bad sleepers. SO, i figure if i can take it at the same time every day, that's at least one LESS variable for FF to take into account. so, even if i woke up an hour before my "set temp time" i would go back to sleep and wait for my alarm to go off an hour later. if i didn't have 3 solid hours, i would just check the "Sleep Deprived" box and call it good. usually FF can still figure your cycles out. i also started using OPKs after a couple temping-only cycles, and that sometimes made it more confusing at the time, but overall, definitely helped me. for people who get up at different times on different days, i would say just pick your earliest waking time, and on the days you don't need to get up that early, it's like, "woohoo, i get to go back to sleep for another hour still!" after temping and try to go back to sleep.

Lovely clear pic noodle, I'll go with girl, just to even it out and because it looks a little different to mine and I'm having a boy!

Mummy, I'm sorry about the issues you are have with OH. I'm not sure I really have any advice, but I do think you are right to try and work through his feelings and what they might mean or lead to down the line. I'm also struggling a little in my relationship. I'm sure many people feel like this, but I feel like our relationship has changed. We haven't been intimate for god knows how long, and I feel it would be odd to now I'm bigger. I find it hard to feel sexual. In fact, I'm not feeling very attractive all round, to be honest! We both have a dozen things on our plate and I feel like I really miss being able to go and have a drink and a good time and loosen up around each other.

Thanks in advance for letting me rant (not that you all had any choice!) Any advice warmly welcomed!

obviously i have no experience but i would maybe mention that to your husband? maybe if he knows you don't feel sexy or in the mood or whatever, and what you might need from him, it would help? i know everyone is different, and gets turned on by different things: physical touch, or if he compliments you (some people find pregnant bodies really sexy, maybe he does but is bad at communicating that?) or maybe if he cooks dinner and does the dishes...that would be my starting point. sit down and explain how you feel and maybe brainstorm ways both of you can help the other person get in the mood?

 

[mummy2o]

Hi itsautumn. I did take my temperatures at different times each day, give or take an hour as I would roughly wake in the middle of the night to pee, although once in a blue moon I'd miss it. I can't always get back to sleep afterwards due to allergies\colds. However, despite all that it didn't really effect my results on FF(fertility friend). It gave me a clear time when I ovulated, although I never really had a pattern so to speak as it looks like sometimes my body tried to ovulate earlier and failed, then tried again some months others it would wait until it was time. It turns out I had a 12 day luna phase but pretty regular cycles so 28-29 days so I knew not to trust anything before CD14. Its really trial and error and if you have any issues or want us to examine your chart we'll all give you a helping hand.

Cirtus: I'm sorry your having a hard time to. But I know where your coming from. This pregnancy I just don't want sex, or do sexual things at all. I could be quite happy to go the next 21 weeks avoiding my OH if it means an easier life for me. Unfortunately he doesn't get it from my point of view, everything really hurts due to more blood being pumped round, so we tried sex today and I was almost crying due to the pain, then I had to deal with all the pinkish discharge and was like why did I bother. So I told him no more until this baby is out, but as a compromise I'll do a hand job once a week although I personally can't see why he doesn't that also. Then all he does was bitch that I was more horny last time. Different pregnancy, didn't hurt and I also didn't have a baby to look after, just a 6 year old who is very independent. Maybe talk with him and find out what would suit you two. Do you still do date nights? If not trying going on one, meal and walk in the park, cinema, bowling (if your able to, my sons favourite pass time so we go often) depends what your able to do and whats on in your area.

I wasn't surprised so to speak when he told me he had urges to be with a man, as he was married to one before he met me (they had split). I did however tell him he gets one chance and if he wants to waste that with anyone regardless of gender then I'll take the kids and leave him. I will not be cheated on and standby as if nothing has happened. Not sure if he understands fully, but I guess its one of those things which we are unable to predict in life what someone else is going to do, but if he ever does, well he'll soon realise it.

 

[itsautumn]

mummy2o and jumpingo thank you for your replies!

Since I'm not working now my sleeping is a little crazy, but I'm starting work in the first week of January so I will be on a more regular schedule. These days I wake up before my planned time... so if it's less than three hours and I plan on sleeping again I just take my temp really quickly and then go back to sleep. I don't know if that messes things up, but when I first started temping my temps were CRAZY. Up and down all over. For some reason the last few weeks have been much more stable... like a slow uphill spike. It's really weird.

If you see here:

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/ttc/chartgraph_module.php?d=2014-12-18&mode=a&ts=1418968233&u=5634627

It just looks crazy. I think either I didn't ovulate this cycle, I took my temps all wrong or I ovulated and didn't catch it. I just started spotting tonight so it looks like my lovely friend is here. I have PCOS so my periods are super long. At least I'm getting my periods though!

 

[jumpingo]

itsautumn, the link didn't work but i LOVE looking at an comparing and analyzing charts so definitely try again! my chart is nothing to look at at the moment...we are preventing (condoms, for those curious minds!) until march, so mostly just waiting to see when/if i ovulate and see if my cycles go back to normal or find a new normal, which knowing will help (hopefully!) in getting pregnant sooner once we start trying again.