*Assisted conception ladies due Jan/Feb/March 2017*

[2have4kids]

Fern I'm sorry to hear about the fighting, you don't need extra stress! Money & kids are the top reasons people argue. It's impossible to work with people who believe they're always right. I've been on tender hooks with my DH in past years (we're going on 18 years together now). I did counselling alone as hd wouldn't go and it helped me. My colleague did the same. They can help you stop reacting in the same way making the situation repeat. The worst punishment for someone who thinks they're always right and forever refusing to apologise is to change the game on them. It gave my head a shake into my part and why I was putting up with certain things and allowed me to not give him the reward he was looking for.

She also recommended some great books, which we both read. In your case hw might not read anything but I think my Dh wanted to know what I was up to and ensure hw knew everything so that perhaps he wasn't the 'wrong one' if that makes sense?
The Seven Principles of A Successful Marriage by John Gotman
https://www.amazon.ca/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797
The Five Love Languages (with online survey for both you & DH)
The Five Apologies Languages (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/apology/ ) <--survey

We still fight just not as much. And we did counselling together eventually. It helped us recognise fights that repeat & never go awayvs fights that are small & new and how to get over them. The repeating long term fights you have to agree to disagree and 1 person has to exit quickly to stop the pattern. I don't know if any of this will help, we've been there and it's not fun. Sending you massive

 

[2have4kids]

It's 6am and I awoke to bright red bleeding with a few clots. I'm going to the ER when it opens at 8am for a scan.

 

[Myshelsong]

2 have4kids Hope everything is ok Hun. Thinking about you.

Fern- hubs and I had a rough few years during our infertility, and although we both didn't end up doing counselling we did talk about it together all the time. We read the 5 languages of love and found it very helpful. At one point we talked about wether we really wanted this to work out, and agreed that we loved eachother and wanted it to work we just didn't know why we weren't meeting each other's needs. So we wrote a list of five things we needed from our partner to feel they cared. It was simple things, like good night kisses, someone that will do the dishes once a week, a call during lunch a couple times a week so we know they are thinking of us, saying thank you, date night .... Knowing the other person was trying as much as the other really helped, and the talking about everything was wonderful.

 

[Fern81]

Thank you guys for your amazing, helpful, concrete advice. I will try all of those. So good to know I'm not the only one. I guess people don't always talk about what goes on behind the scenes.

2have- my heart jumped into my throat reading that... I'm praying for you so hard right now. Please let us know what's going on and what you need from us. Xxx

 

[2have4kids]

Well bleeding subsided and because I've already had a scan confirming pregnancy they're making me wait till Monday. They'd only do one if they thought it was ectopic but because we know it isn't...i hope there are still 2 bubs in there

 

[Fern81]

Whaaaat, that's mean! I'm so glad the bleeding has gone down though. Hope it's nothing serious. If you didn't have severe cramping I really think everything will be OK! XX

 

[Myshelsong]

Oh my gosh 2have, I am so sorry you are going through this. That is the scariest thing ever! I have been thinking of you all day, I hope the bleeding continues to subside and your little ones are safe and sound.
I can't believe they wouldn't do a scan, praying for you.

 

[Rq120]

2have - I hope everything is ok!

Hubby took me to a water park yesterday. It was a great day together. Today is rainy here.
On the way home from the water park we stopped at a maternity store at an outlet mall. They had buy one get one free on their clearance. I bought 10 shirts for $5-10 each and a pair of jeans for $20. I'm set for a while now and at great deal prices!!

 

[rebecca822]

Fern- sorry about your fighting. It can be so stressful. Hubby and I have been on good terms but for a lot of it he kind of zones out. It bothers me that he's not more involved but I guess it's good were not fighting.
2have- I hope the bleeding has stopped. My doctor told me as long as there's no severe cramping or the blood is not heavy enough to change a pad an hour then it's ok.
Today I woke up to some bright blood as well. I hate all this worrying
To be honest I was really unwell the whole weekend. I had a migraine and vonitted several times.
Today I'm feeling a little better but I just need to make sure to drink a lot. I think that's what set off the migraine.

 

[DianeCraft]

Hello everyone! I'm new here. My husband and I have been TTC for 10 years! June 24th 2016 was our FET (frozen embryo transfer) date. My first pregnancy test is July 5th (2 days away)!! I'm very nervous but extremely excited. I feel good, have had cramping and have low energy but my Dr. says that's normal. My due date is March 11th, 2017.
During the six month preparation for this moment I always told myself "dont get excited, dont let others get excited" but its impossible! I am soooo excited, but my husband is still a little guarded.
I'm 35 y/o and my husband is 38. It has been such a tough road.
My first infertility dr reeally messed me up physically and emotionally. He said my infertility was due to endometriosis (which is still severe). He did laproscopic surgery in Jan 2010 and severed my ureter and large descending intestine. After 4 months in hospital and 13 surgeries, I was ready to go home. It was a terrible ordeal and a huge setback in my pregnancy journey.
BUT! I am very hopeful and I feel good about this pregnancy.
I cant wait to tell you all on July 5th if the test is positive!!
This thread is perfect for me, I feel you ladies are closest to my situation. I cannot wait to track our pregnancies together! xoxo

 

[2have4kids]

DianeCraft welcome! What a horrific experience. Was it a different doctor who reconstructed you? Have you done IVF/iui's previous to this? 10 years is a long time for ttc, we've done 6 but only 6 months in I knew something was wrong and got in with an fs. After that I moved at lightning speed to get our family on. Everyone goes at their own pace, I have a friend who was diagnosed at 25 years old with DOR numbers worse than me at 35 and now that she's 32 she's pregnant with her first after just 1 round of IVF. She's so excited, I'm relieved she responded to treatment. Now we all just have to hang on past the 12 week mark and make it to 38+ weeks!
Congratulations on your pregnancy and here's to a smooth 7-8 more months.

 

[Fern81]

Hi Diane, you are very welcome! Oh wow what a horrific thing to have happen to you; hope the doctor is not allowed to practice anymore! ! I can't wait for your test in 2 days and hoping with all my heart it's positive. Do you have any additional frozen embryos? X

2have and rebecca- how are you two doing today?

Waterpark sounds like so much fun!! Can't wait for summer .

 

[rebecca822]

Diane- welcome! I hope you get your bfp on July 5!
Sounds like you've been through so much to get here. Will you test early or your really waiting until Tuesday?
I hope you'll get to join our group

Fern- I'm feeling mostly better just a little sick. Nothing like Friday night and Saturday.

 

[DianeCraft]

Hello 2have! Thank you for welcoming me.
It is a different Doctor, I will never work with that Dr again. He was so awful to me.
This is my first round of IVF. I guess I was slow to accept something was off. After marriage my husband and I moved to San Francisco and we tried for about 5 years to get pregnant. In 2010 we moved to Ohio and that was when I was diagnosed with endometriosis. The 1st option of treatment was laproscopic surgery which went horribly awry. I was completely scared and wanted to give up, but last year (after moving to a new city) decided to try again. I feel bad for waiting so long but didnt want to give up.
I had 3 embryos frozen in April so I am praying to at least have 2 kiddos with them.
That's great news for your girlfriend. I pray I respond well also. I feel like I will, but one never knows.
My Dr is a bit worried due to the state of my lower abdomen (my bladder is sewn to my abdominal wall below my left ribcage because of ureter damage). He is afraid of urethra over extension. But I feel really good so I refuse to worry with everyone. If this is meant to be, it will happen.
I am so excited to track with you all. Here's to staying positive and believing in ourselves and God's plan for our lives.
I definitely feel pregnant. Lol

 

[DianeCraft]

Hello Rebecca, thank you!
I think I'm going to wait until Tuesday. I'm really nervous and dont know if a home test will be accurate, so I will probably wait to know for certain. It's definitely torturous to wait!
Thank you so much, I hope I can join too!

 

[DianeCraft]

Hello Fern! So good to meet you! Thank you for starting this group!
Unfortunately, yes the Dr is still practicing in Cincinnati. I tried to sue but my lawyer was unable to get an expert witness (said he had one but they were unable to continue and judge wouldnt allow for another extension). First extension was due to a lawyer switch. I guess these kinds of cases dont do well unless there is a loss of life.
I hate to be such a downer to you ladies.
I am great now. I probably shouldnt tell everyone my "woe is me story", but I know it will have a positive outcome and help someone who thinks it may not be possible for them.
The surgery mishap destroyed both of my tubes so IVF was the only possibility for us. We have done very well up to this point and have had great results. Praying for continued success.
Thank you ladies for giving me someone to talk to about these things.
:*

 

[Fern81]

I keep reading and re-reading your story; need to make sure you know how hard I'm rooting for you

 

[Myshelsong]

Diane welcome! I can't believe your doctor did such a horrible job, that is terrible. Glad you were finally able to heal and continue to IVF. Hope your test is positive, I know the first few weeks I was exhausted and thirsty like nothing I had ever experienced before.

Rebecca, hoping the bleeding for you is nothing. That is so scary, do you have a Drs appointment soon?

 

[Fern81]

You are definitely not a downer, you are a survivor and an inspiration ****

 

[DianeCraft]

Thank you Fern!! I really appreciate the support and responses. You ladies have been great already. I look forward to further conversations and tracking to 38 weeks! &#10084;&#10084;&#10084;