*Assisted conception ladies due Jan/Feb/March 2017*

[Rq120]

Changing table.

 

[2have4kids]

Lovely change table RQ. What a sweet gift!

 

[Pinkie3]

Hi ladies, I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

2have, so glad the party went well and the cake smash looks fab. I have an obsession with baby cheeks and your LO has fabulous ones, I could eat them!

Froggy, your hospital sounds fab, I am sure all those little things will be so helpful. I really need to book a hospital tour. I know mine is supportive of BFing but that's all I know.

Fern, wow that is a lot of baby stuff, that's really kind of your cousin and I am sure will save you a fortune. I still haven't brought a thing and should probably get a move on.

RQ, lovely changing table and thoughtful gift.

I hope everyone is doing well. Not much to report from me. I had a busy weekend, stopped at my sisters and we done a lot of home shopping, I am a bit scared to tell DH what I have ordered lol. I have my flu jab later today so trying to get some house work done as no doubt I'll have a dead arm for a few days.

Have a good day all X

 

[Fern81]

Rq- what a gorgeous and practical gift! That's a true friend.

Pinkie- so WHAT did you order lol!? Hope your arm is not too sore.

 

[2have4kids]

Yes Pinkie I'm dying to know too

Last night I was feeling the kicks, up since 3:30am
Good news is you can def feel yhem from the outside now! Bad news is I'm shattered. Ugg to ho yo work today....

 

[Rq120]

DH felt a baby kick for the first time last night. Finally! He has wanted to feel them so bad.

I forgot to mention, I went to the doc's office last week and I was measuring 30 weeks. Yikes!!

 

[Pinkie3]

2have, sorry about the lack of sleep but yey for baby kicks, they will be booting DH in the back in no time. I am getting odd flutters still occasionally but they tickle more than anything.

As for my house shopping, I brought a new wardrobe and dressing table, new wall lights and pendants for the living room, our front reception room, entrance hall and upstairs landing. Plus I got new switches and dimmers for the whole house as I want to change the colours. I also got a large mirror for the living room and a small one for the hall, plus a small fabric bench. We are having 'pinkie time' tonight so I can show DH everything I have ordered, I am a bit worried ha ha. It will be fine, we moved in two years ago and knew we'd have to do the whole place up. We desperately need to do an extension on the kitchen but unfortunately our IVF cycles ate into that fund so we've decided to do the rest of the house and come back to the kitchen at a later date but I am getting excited about making the house as homely and comfortable as possible before baby arrives.

Just for back from flu jab and she also gave me the whopping couch jab too, so both arms are going to be dead later! X

 

[2have4kids]

Wow Pinkie, you really went to town! Will DH help you install everything? We're sorting a new bedroom for DD to move into this weekend in between all of the Thanks Giving turkey feasts. It's better to do it now than in third tri, the belly will be too big by then! Happy decorating

 

[Fern81]

Pinkie, that sounds amazing. Hope you enjoy installing it all!

Well I'm not going to cape town anymore. A$$hole is going alone for 5 days, coming back briefly for a day or so and then leaving again for another 5 days (I think), on another business trip. He told me today that no matter what I do or how hard I try, I will never be good enough for him and all I do is mess up his life. He threatened AGAIN to cut me off financially and take my baby & physically throw me out of the house (all because I disagreed with his decision to let his brother who is a heroin and crack addict and alcoholic & has been for the past 20 years, stay in our house for the week that we were supposed to be in cape town, WITH a drug addict girlfriend that we've never met whom he wants to just get out of rehab for a week of partying! Never mind that his brother has stolen thousands of rands of stuff from us already & stole money again on Saturday which caused an enormous family problem AGAIN!)
I wish with my whole heart I could leave him.

 

[Pinkie3]

Oh Fern, reading your message makes me so sad. I am so sorry you are faced with this everyday when this should be such a special time in your life. If you so desperately want to leave him and go this alone is there nowhere you can go or anywhere that will offer you help? In terms of financially, do you own any of your assets together as you will be entitled to half. I don't know how this works where you are. If things are this bad now, I can only see them getting worse once your little boy arrives and it's not fair to you or him being exposed to that environment. Sometimes people are better being apart, it's not a failure, it's just life. My mum (bless her) finally divorced my dad after years of being unhappy but she should have done it when we were children because it was horrible to witness. People say they stay together for the sake of their children but I think that's the worse thing to do. If you are that unhappy it's better for the children you being apart. The only good thing that come out of witnessing my parents is that I will never argue with DH in front of them (bickering is completely different) because I will never forget those feelings, I always knew when one was going to start too and it was terrible. Big hugs to you Hun and I really hope you can get some support with this to help you move forward

 

[Fern81]

I'm so so sad and upset. I can't leave him because I can't afford it, my home and my business is here on his property and I have nothing else. I've spent all my money and energy on "our" house and investing here...
Also, my family can't know that anything is wrong. I'm so ashamed. They will definitely think it's all my fault because of mistakes I've made in the past with my ex husband. My family is the one good thing (other than my son) in my life right now and I can't afford having them think badly of me. I really have no other option than to stay.
I love you all to bits and appreciate having you to talk to. My marriage is horrible and he is really abusive & controlling and I have no-one to talk to except you guys. Thanks for listening.

 

[froggyfrog]

Oh fern, I'm so sorry. You don't have any sort of welfare from the government there that you can access until you can get back on your feet? I'm sure that if you explained your situation to your mom she may understand what your feeling? Surely they wouldn't bring up past mistakes and throw them in your face. I really hope things work out for you. You definitely don't need to be there. And about him taking your baby, I don't know how it is there, but here in the US the courts side with the mother more often than not. The mom has to be proven unfit, and that's tough to do even in some really bad cases.

 

[2have4kids]

Fern, when things got bad with my DH recently I contacted a lawyer to get information on how, if I chose to, I could separate from him and what my rights are. Here, if you live common law or are married to someone you split all property between you in half - it doesn't matter who's name it's under. And I know you need your family's support right now but can you start confiding in them a little about what's going on? Eventually, if you do want to leave him you'll need the support of your family. Maybe you've made mistakes but don't we all? You may think that yours are more monumental but if you've changed your life it's their job to forgive, move on and support you. But just for your own long term well being maybe a lawyer can help you draw up a plan? I wish this wasn't happening to you, you really don't need all of this stress right now. Sending you massive hugs bella xx

 

[Rq120]

Oh Fern! What can I say except I'm sorry that you are going through this. I can't imagine feeling trapped the way you feel right now. I have to agree with the others here to do some research. You must have some rights in all of this! My heart aches for you. I hope you find some way out of this situation where you and you baby can have a better life.

 

[rebecca822]

Fern I'm so sorry to hear how bad things are with you and DH. I hope you can sort things out so you don't have to be miserable.

 

[Fern81]

Thanks for the support as always! Unfortunately I really can't leave him & can't tell my family. I will only be able to leave once it gets worse or if I have a witness to his behaviour. If it ever comes to that, baby and I will really struggle financially because H won't sign divorce papers at this stage and has already made it clear that he will not give us a cent if we are separated. Nope, no government help.
However! He is officially GONE until Sunday night. I've already taken the week off work (just now booked one student for tomorrow), so I intend on having my own "vacation" and do nice things. Why allow him to steal all my joy, right? Going to visit my sister today & go to a craft market.

Hope you all have a nice day! Who has a scan coming up? My next scan is next week Friday. My cousin will be going with me instead of husband. And then after the scan I'm doing the hospital tour.

Froggy and 2have how are you coping with your sugar issues?

Rq- is that 30week measurement for a singleton pregnancy?

Pinkie - how are you doing with the nausea?

 

[rebecca822]

Fern I have an OB appointment Friday and I believe I will be having a scan.

Rq I was wondering the same. I assume the measurement of 30 weeks is for a singleton. When my OB measured me at 20 weeks he said I was measuring larger than 20 weeks but that was accurate since it's twins.

 

[froggyfrog]

Fern, my sugar is doing fine, I have had a few days that it's higher, but it hasn't gone above the limit. My fasting sugar is a little higher than I want and I'm hoping they let me keep trying to work on it before they want me to take something. It's so odd, but just a 10 minute walk up and down the street after each meal has drastically brought my post meal numbers down. It's easy enough. And the dogs love the extra walks!

Today is my V-day!!!! I'm so excited to have come this far. I have a scan with the MFM later today to check on the little guy and to see if the placenta has moved. We will also go over my sugar log.

 

[Rq120]

Yes, the 30 week measurement is if it was a singleton pregnancy. It doesn't mean anything for twins, except I'm gonna be big! LOL

 

[2have4kids]

Hi Fern, that's a well deserved staycation! Do enjoy. And enjoy your hospital tour as well. Let us know what you think.

My blood sugars have been great. Always within the lower end of the range and resting is extremely low, my liver isn't working overtime to produce sugar so for now I'm good. I'm sick of testing though so I made a decision to stop last week. They said things change around the 24 week mark so I'll wait a few weeks and start up again.

DD is sick after playing with all those cute little kids on the weekend. Her first real cold. I feel terrible for her, she's just SO cute with that runny stuffy nose. I wiped it for her last night & gave her saline to clear it. Gave her a warm bath and put the humidifier on with some cold essential oils before bed. She slept like a log, unlike the night before (up aaallll night).