*Assisted conception ladies due Jan/Feb/March 2017*

[2have4kids]

Sweet Froggy! I've taken a week off in the middle of Nov and 2 weeks around Christmas to prepare the twins nursury. It's a slightly bigger room than DD's so we'll leave her where she is and set up the crib and change table, rocking chair in there. I think we'll bring up a single bed for DD in addition to her crib and it'll be easy to read her bedtime stories having lots of snuggle time in her room before bed.

 

[Fern81]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on siblings and repeated FET/IVF/TTC! As always I loved reading all the different opinions.

We will be actively preventing a natural conception; and first use our 2 remaining embies. If that fails we might ttc "naturally" for a set time. (I'll probably go back on bcp for endo in any case). We won't do ivf again. It has always been our decision to just try it once. I think we have a good shot at a sibling with our frosties and already can't wait to be pregnant again lol... I'm personally thinking of FET Apr 2018 (so my timing ito work & mat leave will be good again, as it happened to be this time) but we'll see! I also have a big decision to make regarding using both or just one remaining embie.... I don't want to have twins but the embies were frozen together and so will be thawed together.... but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Rq I hope you have a GREAT babyshower!!!! Aaawww hope they make a huge fuss!!

Love your going home outfits 2have and froggy

 

[Rq120]

Hi ladies. Hope everyone is doing well. I'm feeling a bit run down today. I had to get up to pee a lot last night. I think my body was getting rid of some water weight along with the babies sitting on my bladder. I got up at 5am to pee and then I feel back asleep. I woke up again and felt like I had to go really bad and got up. I looked at the clock and it was only 5:15am. I think that last one was my silly boy, but the rest of my trips were not false alarms like that.

I'm also feeling a bit mentally run down. I don't know if you all remember, or how much I told on here, but my mom cussed me out and told me never to contact her again in May during my IVF cycle. There is a lot of history and frankly I am happy to cut her off and move on, so I haven't talked to her since. Well my grandpa yesterday forwarded me an email that she sent him. He said "I just wanted to let you know how your mom was feeling". I think he thought it would help, but in the message my mom said I wasn't thinking straight and that I didn't love her unconditionally. So it did the opposite of help!! I told my grandpa as much, but it was still emotionally draining having to deal with family pressures to reconcile with a toxic person. And then last night my aunt just got back from 3 weeks at St Martin and found out my mom's dog died last week. She texted me to see if I had heard and if I had been in touch with her, like anything would change in 3 weeks. Again with the family pressure. Everyone thinks we just had a fight and it has been blown out of proportion. It's more than this single episode and personally I don't want that type of person (grandparent or not) around my children. Sigh, family drama can be so draining.

I go to the doc in one week. I thought I would be happy to take some time off of the OB (4 weeks between appts), but the babies' movements come and go and I am looking forward to checking in on them. DH is leaving work a little early so we can come to my next ultrasound. He is so sweet and loves seeing his babies.

 

[2have4kids]

RQ sorry to hear about your family issues. I've had a rocky road with my little sister and when she inquired into having a better relationship with me so that she could be a part of DD's life I insisted on us going to counselling. The counsellor was fantastic pointing out to her that it sounds like she simply doesn't want to make much effort and she really needs to decide if she wants to be a part of the family or not! It would only come across from me as venom, but from a 3rd party it made my heart thump with relief and then she took 3 months to think about it before the next appointment! Anyway, I say follow your gut lady. Do what you feel is necessary. If your mom has cut your relationship through her bad behaviour and her dog dies she gets to deal with that all by herself and the friends/family she's managed to keep. These other family members sound like they want you to reconcile by giving you all of this information. But really you could sit on it and simply move on with your life by the sounds of it. If it's important to you to surround your LO with loving family and keep the drama to a minimal then follow your plan. Keep your chin up and boxing gloves on You've got a precious family to protect!
I too am fighting something, my throat has been raw and sore all week and I wake up feeling like I haven't had 2 hours of sleep each night thanks to constantly waking up with numb throbbing arms. Stuffy nose & headaches are just the cherries on this cake. Soon it'll pass though and I'll have a week off in the middle of November. I'm just not looking forward to swim lessons with DD tonight.

 

[rebecca822]

Hi ladies just wanted to drop in. Got home really really late last night from my business trip and tonight I'm hosting a bridal shower with a few friends. Awful timing and I'm exhausted beyond belief.
Babies are kicking away so I'm content.

Regarding trying again- my ideal family is 4-5 children. DH grew up with 5 siblings and I have 4. I think it's really nice to have a big family. We have 7 embryos so the plan is that when the twins are 2 to thaw them and do PGD and then we will know how many genetically normal we have. We will not be doing another fresh IVF so if the fets don't work out we'll probably be done. Also, we won't have more than 5 children so we will not use any remaining embryos of it come to that.
For the first 2 years after the babies are born I would like to get an IUD since I don't get my period with the IUD. I would not mind a spontaneous pregnancy at some point but it would have to be after the babies are 1.

Sorry I didn't comment on each of your posts individually as I kind of lost track of the past few days.

 

[Rq120]

Thanks for your reply 2have. I hope you get to feeling better.

 

[Fern81]

Rq- I'm so so sorry you're having to deal with that, and from your own mother! SHE made the decision not you... you only have one life and you need to be happy not only for your own sake but also for your hubby and kids! Just smile and nod. You can only give as much love as you can- you're a person not a magician who can just magically fix your mom's behaviour! Hugs. Xxxx

2have - hope the sickness can finally leave your house now!!

Gl with your bridal shower rebecca.

Eta- sorry about my short reply rq, I was so rushed with work but just wanted to send a message of support. I fully agree with the other ladies especially about forgiveness being important but you still get to choose who you surround yourself with and who will be an influence on your children's development (and that the latter is a separate decision from forgiveness). Again, hugs!

 

[froggyfrog]

Rq, I'm sorry everyone is pressuring you to reconcile when you don't want to. I certainly can understand exactly what your going through. Me and my 4 brothers have no relationship. As far as I'm concerned, I'm an only child now. One of them, my mom is always trying to pressure me to talk to him and telling me that I shouldn't hold a grudge and what will I tell my son blah blah blah. My other family all say the same thing. I simply tell them that I have forgiven him for everything in our past (which is A LOT that went down between us, and between him and my dh) and just because I have chosen to not have someone in my and my child's life doesn't mean that I'm holding on to some sort of grudge. I can't for my own sanity surround myself with him, or any of my other brothers for that matter. I disagree with the way the live their lives, and how they show no support for their children. It's awful. And I know that if any one of them talked in front of my kid the way they talk in front of the other kids it will not turn out good. Also my dh really can't stand his father. They have had a rocky relationship my whole dh's life. Now that dh is an adult he has chosen to cut him out of his life. I think we just get older and realize that we ate not children anymore, and that we don't have to take ant sort of abuse or bullying from anyone. Especially now that we are becoming mothers. Yes forgiveness is important, and we do certainly have to teach our kids to forgive, but making boundaries and protecting yourself is also an important lesson to teach them. An I'm a firm believer that both of those concepts can go hand in hand. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you invite them back into your life. And honestly why do you want to have to keep forgiving someone over and over. You can forgive your mother and keep your distance. I would just tell the other family members that you are not holding anything against your mother, but that you are about to become a mother yourself and you care too much about yourself and your children to allow someone to constantly bully you. There is also a difference between caring about yourself, and being selfish. Thus turned into a major rant, and I hope it makes sense. I hope you can feel better about it all soon.

 

[Pinkie3]

I just typed a whole message and lost it arrrhh!! Let's try again.

Rebecca, gosh you sound like a busy bee at the moment you must be exhausted. I hope you don't have any plans this weekend so that you can get some rest.

RQ, I am sorry to hear you are feeling run down but it sounds understandable. I am also sorry that this feud with your mum happened when you needed the support the most and I second everything the other ladies have said. You should politely tell other family members to butt out and concentrate on you, DH and the family you are about to welcome into the world. I am a true believer that blood is not thicker than water and as difficult as that is we just have to accept it. We dont choose our families. I too have been in a similar situation with my siblings, we've always been really close but my mum passed away 2 years ago and I saw a completely different side to one of them, I will never be able to forget what happened. Emotionally I wasn't coping and had some counselling, I learnt how to deal with my grief and anger, it was the best thing I done. If it gets to this point with you, I highly recommend it. I have forgiven but only so I can move on with my life, and we hardly have any contact anymore which suits me. 2have, Froggy, I am sorry to hear things have been difficult with your families too, it's amazing how often it happens. You sound like extremely strong women.

2have, sorry you are still feeling poorly, I hope it passes soon. My DH is still unwell too, everyone seems to be coming down with something.

Loving the coming home outfits, I cannot wait to get ours.

I have some good news, we brought our travel system today. I didn't want to buy anything until my 28 week scan but this was too good of offer to turn down. We only went to look as I wanted to show DH what I liked. Unknown to us DH knew the guy working that section which was great because he certainly knew his stuff. He had just put together the last 2016 model they had in stock and putting on a managers offer which knocked £400 off (the difference in models, the new one has a leather handle). He also let me change the colour and he threw in a couple of extras for us. We got such a good deal. Because it had already been put together it is now sitting in the 'nursery to be' up and ready to be used, I can't wait. As you can tell I am pretty excited. X

 

[2have4kids]

ooohhhh Pinkie well done at the stroller store!! What a handy coincidence that your DH knew the salesman, got to love that What system did you chose in the end? I think you ladies have a better selection than we do over here.

Rebecca wow you sound exhausted but you'll co-host this shower and then be able to kick your feet up for the weekend?

Anyone have plans for the weekend then? I got a call that we're getting a huge dump of free mulch for our rental property (I put a call into a tree cutting service to ask for some in the spring) so we need to get a babysitter (grandma) and move some mulch to replenish our xeroscaped lot. I proposed that we go see a movie after that and have a little bit of couples time alone.

 

[Fern81]

Good job on the travel system pinkie!! How exciting!

2have - enjoy the garden work and date night. We are just carrying on with renovations this weekend, the painters keep screwing up and I just want them GONE already! Tonight we have dh's year end function and I'm working again tomorrow.

27weeks today, which I'm counting as 3rd tri!! (Actually, Monday 31 oct was the end of my sixth month already; crazy!!) 3rd tri symptoms have hit me all at once a week or so ago; aching back, cankles, fatigue, mood swings!! But I'm still loving being pregnant. Let's see how I feel in a few more weeks .

 

[froggyfrog]

Awesome you got such a great deal pinkie!

2have, How grest your getting the mulch for free, I hope you can manage to have a date night.

Fern, Im definitely feeling 3rd tri! The heartburn and acid reflux has gotten so bad, I'm having nausea. I started taking Zantac so hope that starts working soon. I also have had bad RLP again. It's been a couple of months since I have had it. It feels like my public bone is about to be cut in half, and that someone is tearing my right leg off! I haven't been able to carry on with my normal day to day stuff, and definitely walking slow and with a waddle now. It took me twice as long yesterday to run errands yesterday! Baby boy weighs 2lb 10oz!

 

[rebecca822]

Froggy I'm sorry you're so uncomfortable. I'm sort of feeling weighed down at this point too. My stomach feels huge and heavy and I feel like it's gonna burst!
It's so hard to get daily tasks done. Bathing dd has been my biggest challenge, she also showers but I still need to bend to help her wash herself.
Sorting laundry or anything that requires bending has become so difficult. My tummy feels sore and I wonder if I can go through another 12 weeks of this.

Pinkie I'm so happy that you got a great travel system, that's 1 big item to check off the list.

The bridal shower was so nice, and although I worked really hard I'm glad I did. This weekend I have no plans! Yay! Literally sitting on the couch watching tv all day
Can't wait for work to be over and the weekend to begin!

 

[Rq120]

Ladies, thank you all so much for your kind words and support. Yes, I still love my mom. Always have and always will. I also have forgiven her. But like some of you said, forgiveness does not mean you are welcome back to repeat the behavior time and time again (especially in front of my children!). It was really nice to have all of your support!!

Pinkie - Yay on the stroller deal. I love getting deals!!

Sorry to hear that pregnancy is taking it's toll on most of us. I hope we can all finish out this pregnancy will minimal discomforts. I'm personally doing pretty good so far. I did have some RLP last night and a little this morning but nothing like you are describing!! During the day at work I usually feel pretty good except for some tiredness. I'm just counting my blessings and trying to cherish this time.

Rebecca - I am so envious of you and being able to relax all weekend.
I'm gearing up for a crazy weekend between my SIL birthday party at our house tonight and the baby shower on Sunday. I am taking care of the food for the baby shower so I need to take the dogs to the vet Saturday morning and then hit the stores to get food supplies. Thankfully not much cooking is involved. I am setting up a sandwich bar (chicken salad, deli meats, assorted cheeses, assorted gormet breads, etc), cheese ball, meatballs and cocktail weinies, several different kinds of salads/pastas, a fruit and a veggie platter. I didn't want to try to cook and keep food warm. AND I'm feeding 45 so I needed to keep it simple!! I'm sure I'll be ready to drop dead after this party. But it's gonna be so fun.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

 

[Pinkie3]

Fern, congrats on the 3rd Trimester!!! I hit mine on Sunday, I feels so unreal doesn't it.

Sorry to hear you ladies are starting to struggle a little. I too am feeling blessed because so far things have been good, however I am not going to speak too soon as there is still time. I do believe a lot of the yoga tips I have implemented over the last 10 weeks have really helped too. As for bending down I try not do so my body is folding in half, I get down on my knees whenever I can and I also lean forward while holding onto something so my stomach falls forward (if that makes any sense). As for heartburn, mine is so much better than it was in the early days, I hardly get it anymore. I am always upright, even when sitting on the sofa I have pillows behind me to ensure I am sitting straight, I also stretch my arms out to the front, then the side and to the back to open up the chest area, this is suppose to really help. Just a couple of tips I was given that have helped me. I hope things get more comfortable for you.

RQ, a cold Buffett sounds like the way forward especially for that many people. I hope everything goes well this weekend and you enjoy all the attention on Sunday.

2have, a date night sounds perfect, hope you get Grandma to take up babysitting duties. The stroller I got was a Bugaboo Buffalo and it's perfect!

I have a nice weekend planned, tomorrow evening I am going to an organised firework display but the weather and turned really cold so I need to wrap up. Sunday I am meeting my mums best friend for lunch, she lives 100 miles away and we haven't seen each other since I have been pregnant. My mum had a very special relationship with her from a young age and I think we both feel close to my mum when we see each. I know my mum confided in her about my fertility struggles and it was very emotional when I told her our news. I can't wait to see her.

If I don't get a chance to come on here again this weekend then I hope everyone has a good one X

 

[rebecca822]

Rq that sounds like a lot of work for one person! Yummy menu and I'm sure it will be great, enjoy!

Pinkie have a great time with your mums friend I'm sure she'll be happy to see you with your belly

Just about done work for the week. Hooray, welcome weekend

 

[Fern81]

Rq- can't wait to hear all about your baby shower!! I'm so excited for all of your showers; almost as much as I am for my own lol!!! Enjoy

Pinkie- enjoy the visit with mom's friend, it sounds so special. Glad to hear you are still doing well, you sure suffered with your eating issues.

Hope everyone is enjoying a nice weekend! Afm- renovations..... geez this is taking long. We're only redoing the floors & painting the walls of 3 rooms and the front parlor, and so far it's been more than 7 weeks & not nearly finished. I tell my husband every DAY that come what may, end Nov the furniture is going back in the house and I need to start working on the nursery and sorting/buying/washing things for my boy. I'll be past 30 weeks by the time I can even START sorting out the nursery, grrr!

 

[rebecca822]

Weekend was nice and relaxing.
Today was beautiful, unseasonably warm. We took dd to the park and then did grocery shopping for the week. I did a lot of food prep. Cut veggies for all the salads for the week and DH made a big soup.
Here comes another work week and I'm dreading it!

 

[Fern81]

Hope everyone has a good week at work (or doing all the jobs around the house) and that it's not too tiring!

Well my husband actually got really far with the renovations yesterday and we're hoping to start moving some furniture back in at the end of the week!! All the furniture has to be washed first, it's all dusty from being stored away for 7+ weeks, and a lot of it got paint/plaster/cement dust on it despite being covered... you know how it goes. I'm arranging with a cleaning lady to start helping me scrub and move smaller items around Thursday-ish.

How is everyone doing pregnancy wise? Any scans coming up in the week?

 

[rebecca822]

Fern I'm so glad you've made some progress on the renos! I'm sure it's nice to finally be almost settled back.

I have my glucose test, OB visit, and scan on Thursday.