Away from my 3yr old on Christmas day - tips to help me through please :(

[Jazzy-NICU]

So I have to work Christmas day this year, which on its own is not an issue.
However I live on the isle of wight and work on the mainland. There are no ferries on christmas day which means I will be travelling to work on the evening of Christmas eve, staying over, working all day Christmas day, and then travelling home on boxing day

We are having Christmas on Christmas Eve instead and I think I've got my head around it but then I just get so upset that I won't see my husband or my son at all on Christmas day. I know it can just be like another day but in reality it's not and I just can't see myself getting through the day with no tears

Has anyone had a similar experience?

Thanks for reading xx

 

[tommyg]

Oh hugs hunni.
The decent thing is at 3 he isn't going to understand that it's Christmas day or not. I'd be tempted to move EVERYTHING a day forward ie start his advent calendar on the 30th of November so he opens the last door the day before your Christmas.

Christmas Eve telly is normally quiet good and Christmas themed anyway but you could play some Christmas DVD's instead.

Enjoy it they are only this age when they really believe for a few short years.

 

[Rósa]

Go off sick lol?

 

[tommyg]

I'm guessing that you are a nurse or something so pulling a sicky isn't really on.
Is there no way you can swap shifts with someone? But at the same time assuming that you are a nurse I'd bite the bullet and work this year (while he's young enough not to notice) and ask for Christmas day of next year when he is a little older.

You could use Skype or the apple equivalent I've forgotten what it's called.

I don't know how feasible this idea is but you don't know someone with a boat that could collect you after your shift?

 

[Mrs R]

Could you have a word with your manager about how upsetting this is for you to see if anything could be done to rework the rota?? Maybe offer to do Xmas eve and Boxing Day as an exchange?

Your manager would have to be pretty heartless not to try. I get that we all have to do our bit but it's Christmas!

I hope you get sorted, I really feel for you x

 

[Elphaba12]

I have no suggestions on how to deal with it but I just wanted to say I really admire you, and people like you, who just accept that for many professions and services Xmas day is just like any other and everyone has to play their part and not try and shift the burden onto other people all the time.

Xmas day can be overwhelming for children anyway and I always think Boxing Day onwards is more fun as the presents are all unwrapped and you get the fun part of playing with everything and eating lots of rubbish food

I'm not sure if it's an option for you depending on what time you get home on Boxing Day but if it was me I'd have my Xmas day on Boxing Day when I didn't have to go anywhere that night and so could just relax and chill out more.

 

[Jazzy-NICU]

Thanks everyone
I'm a nursing sister so going off sick just isn't an option. My problem is most of my colleagues are older women who have done their fair share of Christmas' so they haven't been very forthcoming with swapping for me!
I had requested to work boxing day but was moved to Christmas day as I guess it's just my turn
I did think it's best to do it now whilst my son is younger and he won't know the difference if we do it a day early, but I love christmas and i'll know the difference, but thats just the selfish side of me talking!

I have honestly thought about doing a plea on the radio for someone with a boat to come and rescue me lol x

 

[Jazzy-NICU]

Also we considered doing christmas on boxing day but I want to be there to put my son to bed the night before Christmas which is why we thought we'd do it a day early xx

 

[smileyfaces]

Aw thats so tough

 

[venapols]

I find that strange... every job I know of automatically offers Christmas days off to those with small children as its common sense that childless people and older people whose children have grown up have less responsibilities on Christmas

Christmas and my DS birthday (the week after) are two date that I will not miss for anyone regardless

 

[Natasha2605]

I know the feeling. Although reading your post I feel a lot luckier. I'm a care assistant in a retirement home and luck has it Christmas day is my day this year. As a compromise im working 4-10pm with Xmas eve and Boxing Day off. Can't imagine how tough that will be for you xx

 

[CatStorey]

Aw hunni, that must be so hard but as others have said good idea to take your turn this year whilst lo is still young not to understand the day and hopefully next year you can be off (fingers crossed!) xxx

We have always celebrated Xmas on Boxing Day as my husband works all day in a hotel (6am start - 1-2am finish). I don't tell my daughter and she has no idea...lol! Now she is older we just don't go out on Christmas Day and stay in doing Christmas crafts ect. When she was a baby I used to love going for a walk as the streets are so quiet and weird on Xmas day!

I stayed at my parents house for Xmas once and they went off to my sisters for Christmas dinner but we had to stay at home as Chloe would have noticed all the opened presents and possibly twigged. That was a bit depressing.

I do love your idea about appealing to someone with a boat You never know, I bet there is someone out there that would do it What about some kind of patrol boat that would be out already anyway? I'm not sure if there is anything like that!

Big hugs xxx

 

[Mrs R]

Love the idea about the boat! It's certainly worth a go. People are extra generous around Christmas and you never know....... I say go for it!

 

[Baby Bell]

Do any of your colleagues live on the island but work mainland, maybe you can put out an email the rest of the hospital. You can't be the only one. If you can get a few.....perhaps hire out a boat together? (I have no idea how much that would cost btw but it's an idea)

 

[jenstar]

I would go with your plan of having Christmas on the 24th. We've done that several times, as hubby and I both have jobs where we have to work on Christmas day. Our oldest is 6 now, so we won't do that again til they're all old enough to understand that we are celebrating on a different day due to work. We were both off during the day the past two years. We completely moved Christmas when our son was 3 1/2, but the following year we thought he would realise, so we did dinner early and I missed seeing the kids open presents. It was fine.

To the poster who said that those with children should automatically get off and those without kids or with grown up kids should work...I disagree. I think Christmas is for everybody. However one thing which annoys me a bit is that sometimes in my work one person is allowed to book off 23rd Dec, or earlier, right through to New Year! I think everyone should have to work at least one of the Christmas shifts to allow others the chance to get a day off.

 

[meldmac]

Awww hon

 

[toptrump]

Don't know if you have seen it but this was meant for people like you


www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfLgmaUP6wY

 

[rangersgirl69]

I would go with your plan of having Christmas on the 24th. We've done that several times, as hubby and I both have jobs where we have to work on Christmas day. Our oldest is 6 now, so we won't do that again til they're all old enough to understand that we are celebrating on a different day due to work. We were both off during the day the past two years. We completely moved Christmas when our son was 3 1/2, but the following year we thought he would realise, so we did dinner early and I missed seeing the kids open presents. It was fine.

To the poster who said that those with children should automatically get off and those without kids or with grown up kids should work...I disagree. I think Christmas is for everybody. However one thing which annoys me a bit is that sometimes in my work one person is allowed to book off 23rd Dec, or earlier, right through to New Year! I think everyone should have to work at least one of the Christmas shifts to allow others the chance to get a day off.

I agree i have kids but that doesn't mean people without kids should work every christmas. My best friend has been trying for a family for 5 years can you imagine her being told sorry if you dont have kids you have to work every christmas till you retire. Its heartless, its their xmas too.

 

[lindseymw]

I would keep asking around the hospital. You never know people might change their minds. Also see if you can source a kind boat owner as well.

If not, I would have Xmas on Xmas Eve as you have planned. It makes the most sense to me.

DH works shifts, they have a particular pattern so it's not a case of 'your turn, their turn.' Last year, he was due to work Nights Xmas Eve and Xmas Day. No one was willing to swap (including single/childless people, which I understand, they have the right to celebrate Xmas as well). Last minute, a single lad had a change of heart and offered Xmas Day nights. DH did Xmas Eve night (which I was not amused by as I was left attempting to put bikes, scooters and other stuff together!).

My Sister has to work Xmas Day as well (Nurse also). Her LO is 1 year old. She doesn't mind at this age as he doesn't know what is going on. She is hoping that when he is older, she will get them off.

 

[Vicyi]

Don't know if you have seen it but this was meant for people like you


www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfLgmaUP6wY

Much more of a tear jerker than the John Lewis ad!