Babee_Bugs - Testing section - BFP PG176 - 1st Scan Booked 13-09-12

[AP]

You know I had brown bleeding from 6-10weeks. Peeved me off and worried me no end, even though I was told to expect it!

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Praying for you love

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Oh I didn't know that atomic... It's crap ain't it

It's awful to go to the toilet and think hmmmmm what will I find today? And it's hard not to go to the toilet when your pregnant I feel like the toilet has now become my best friend lol

I've decided against the scan for a few reasons.

1, we really don't have the money, it's my youngest birthday early next month and then were going on holiday 2nd week of August...

2, the fact I'm getting a scan done on Wednesday, that it's very close and I could easily wait a few days is nothing when compared to everything I've been through, Plus what if I seen everything was ok on a private scan and then go on the 11th to be told bad news... I'd rather not see a heartbeat/baby to then go to miscarrying/no heartbeat....

My last pregnancy was a blighted ovum and it scares the shit out of me, going for another scan and seeing a empty sac, looking at a empty scan, where a baby should be kicking and moving around. I have prepared myself for that though, I think I would be daft not too.

Tonight, I've got more bleeding, it's still brown, but it's lighter in colouring and starting to havea tinge of pink. Now it's followed by cramps doesn't feel like a period pain type cramps, so not as extreme.... But urghhh there are there

 

[Jezzabelle]

Urrrghh this must be so frustrating for you...keep your chin up...were all praying 4 u xxxx

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Can't believe in 4 days time I will have my second scan and OH can't make it as his boss won't let him take time off to go for the scan .. But my mum has offered to come with me

I feel strange about this scan, well not so much strange... But I only want to go to the scan if its good news, getting bad news freaks me out a little. I want this baby soooooo much! I just don't want it to go, at the minute I feel I have hope, but I know the scan holds the answer, so I will either come out of there with a healthy heart beating baby... Or booking in for a d&c... Blurghhh

 

[bexxc]

try to keep your chin up, hun. you're going to get to see that beautiful, beating heart!!!

...counting down to wednesday with you!

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I think the nerves are starting to creep in... God knows how I'm gonna be on Tuesday night and wednesday as my scan isn't till 4pm! That's going to feel like forever! Lol...

I think I feel more anxious because my OH won't be there, and I know hes very protective of me etc..

Although my mum will be with me, I'd rather he came though :/

 

[sara070102]

Just up reading through posts bc I can't sleep. Just wanted to say good luck with the scan!

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Thank you Hunnie... Not feeling very optimistic though... Bleeding is now bright red with some brown cloth bits yuk yuk

 

[wookie130]

It's not over, 'til it's over, Babee. You'll have an answer soon, and in the meantime, I'm praying you stay strong!

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Thank you wookie Hunnie

I am trying to remain positive, my OH is very positive that everything will be ok. He has said that, if this doesn't happen, then he wants to keep trying untill we do get our rainbow baby... But I want THIS baby like I soooo wanted my last one... I don't think I could put myself through all of this again :/

We were talking earlier, well he was, and he said ya know, "this baby is gonna be one of those miracle babies that you hear about and so we will always be spoiling it because we have wanted it, gone through sooo much heartbreak and turmoil, so this baby will make it and we will get to spoil it" so I started blubbering

Bloody pregnancy hormones lol

 

[maureenmarsh]

Oh that is so sweet

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Oh that is so sweet

Maureen he doesn't usually say sweet things lol... But when he does, it proper chokes me up haha

 

[mrsparoline]

Are you doing any better this evening? Sending you hugs and prayers!

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Yeh Im doing ok today, bleeding has slowed right down... It's more like pinky CM so it's only a tiny amount phew....

Woke today and I feel sooooooooo nauseous! First time ever!... But OH has sickness and diarrhoea so not sure if I've got some :/ lol

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Well I think it's all over

Went to the toilet earlier as I just felt something down there... Went and noticed lots of red blood, looked into the toilet bowl and there was a HUGE clot.
It looks completely different to what I passed on the 14th of June

At first I thought I've miscarried, but I don't know.. It doesn't look to me like what a baby/sac would look like (but then I wouldn't know, as I haven't miscarried natural this far along) I'd say the clot thing that I passed on the 14th oh June did look like a sac!

I rang epu told her about it all... And she seems to reckon that it's a blood clot cos I said it felt thick! Bout a inch in size.. Told her what my previous scan showed with the blood in my uterus... Also I don't have any pain... So she seems to think that it's the blood in my uterus has finally came out.

I've took a picture and trying to google for something to compare it too, but I can't find anything

So yup gotta wait till Wednesday. Now I've had this I don't feel hopeful for good news at my scan

 

[wookie130]

Ugh, I'm so sorry!!! I'm not going to sit here and say that I necessarily think it's over for you, as I was SO WRONG about that the last time you had a bleed, but it sucks so bad you have to wait until Wednesday to find out either way. And your DH is being super sweet... If it isn't going to be THIS baby, there will be a NEXT BABY...and it's one of those things in life where you have to try to pick yourself back up in your heartache and keep trying. This is my third baby in a year's time after 2 losses, and I'm so scared it's going to end up like the other two. I find out today if my hcg is doubling as it should be so far...last time when I called for the results, my hcg actually dropped in half, and that's how I discovered baby #2 wasn't going to be viable.

Your angel baby will always be your CHILD to you. And if this turns out to be another angel...well, this was your BABY too. Most people don't treat miscarriages like an actual loss of a child...they treat it like it's something else altogether. Miscarriage is about losing a CHILD...period. You're still aching over your last baby. I am too, believe me. And now, this is hitting too close to home again. And I can tell you that NOTHING can prepare you for two consecutive losses...I know it literally knocked the life right out of me, and I'm seeing a counselor, and attend a support group. It really is traumatic.

It's not over 'til it's over. I have hope that you're not miscarrying again, but if you are, please feel free to PM me, or vent, whatever you need to do. Good luck, dear!

 

[babyhopes2010]

if u did have mc you wouldnt see sack this early on xx

 

[LuvallmyH]

Still hopeful for you

 

[xforuiholdonx]

Babee but remember you also thought it was all over before, and bubba hung right on. Hoping for good news!