Breastfeeding & pregnant Mammas

[Spiffynoodles]

Thanks, ladies. And Cangaroo, thankfully he doesn't need any convincing. He already knows it's a horrible thing to do, and that helps. He just found himself slipping into old habits again, even though he knows they're wrong.

Well, good news and bad news. Bad news is I hit an all-time low. I was feeling so depressed and crying so hard, that I actually starting hyperventilating so badly that I almost blacked out. I seriously just wanted to die. I sent DH a text saying as much, and he rushed home from work. The good news is that we had a really good talk after that, and while I'm still not totally okay, I at least feel like we're on the road to making things better.

 

[Cangaroo]

Sorry things had to get so had, but I really hope you've turned a corner and everything will be up from here. Your OH sounds so supportive, and it's great he's been so honest with you. Have you been to the doctor about how.you've been feeling?

 

[Spiffynoodles]

No, I haven't, though I probably should. Do you ladies know if I'm supposed to talk to my OB about it?

 

[ttc126]

Spiffy, I wrote you a whole long reply then my phone deleted it

basically I was saying that my dh and I dealt with it a few times. He was very dishonest and I either found it or walked in on him. In any case, I am like you and do not find it acceptable, normal or ok. The last time it happened, he went to counseling. That was spring of 2012. I started feeling somewhat better about things when I saw all of his efforts to truly not do it again. I feel like I was finally 100% over it this past summer.

It took a lot of work, but it was worth it and our marriage is a lot stronger today because of what we went through. I highly recommend the book "Every Heart Restored"...It speaks perfectly to being on this side of things.

Please know it's not your fault and actually doesn't really have much to do with you at all. Men look at this because of stress and addiction to it. I think it's a good sign he told you about it. He must feel some remorse to have told you. And he probably doesn't want to be doing it. Remembering those things helps.

You're in my prayers Hon!

 

[ttc126]

Oh and yes, I would talk to your ob about how you're feeling. You sound very depressed and there is so much that can help. It's nothing to be ashamed of and you'll be back to your normal self in no time.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Thanks, TTC. It really helps to have someone who knows what I'm going through and has come through it okay. I really feel like the discussion we had today helped both of us to better understand what the other was feeling, so that was good. And he definitely feels remorse. My DH has cried more in these past few days than I've ever seen before, and he's not usually a crier.

I'll think I'll call my OB tomorrow about the depression. I've been trying to get through it on my own so far, but after today, I think it might be time to ask for help.

 

[Cangaroo]

It really sounds like he is going to change, which is great. I agree with TTC, you should see a doctor as so much can be done to help. In this country, you'd ho to your GP. It's different over there, but I'd guess someone like your Family Practitioner, if you have one.

Hope you have a more positive day today.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Thanks, Cangaroo. I hope it's okay to go through my OB, because I don't have a family doctor (I've only ever needed OBGYN services since I've lived in this state, and my kids have a pediatrician, obviously, so they haven't needed a GP, either). So I'll give my OB a call, and hopefully they'll point me in the right direction, if they're not the ones I'm supposed to call.

 

[ttc126]

I'm glad you're calling spiffy! Its hard to ask for help, but you'll feel so much better!

 

[Mummy2Corban]

Definately seek some help lovely. Thinking of you xxx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

I called my OB's office yesterday and they called in a prescription for anti-depressants, so I'm taking those now, plus they're sending me some information for counseling that they want me to do. I really hope the medication works, because yesterday I just wanted to scream. I'm telling you, if I knew I would have to go through this after the next baby, too, I don't think there'd be a next baby.

 

[Cangaroo]

I'm glad you called and got medication. I'm sure they told you, but it will take at least a couple of weeks to kick in, so persevere even if you feel no different. Counselling is a really good idea too.

I can't believe OB's just prescribe antidepressants over the phone over there. It's so different here! I hope they're going to see you to check how you're getting on and give you support etc? GPs would see you at least fortnightly at first while you're starting on antidepressants over here.

 

[ttc126]

Spiffy

I'm so glad they're going to put you on medicine. Counseling will hopefully be good too! You should be so proud of yourself for getting help. Being frustrated and angry will pass and you're a great mom to take care of yourself.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Thanks, ladies. And Cangaroo, I also thought it was strange that they just prescribed me anti-depressants over the phone and didn't want to meet with me (but at the same time, I'm glad that I don't have to drag all three kids to an appointment, because that's also miserable). And yes, I realize that they might take some time to start working, but I'm holding out hope that it's a matter of days and not weeks.

Well, I feel like I've just dominated this thread the past few days. How are the rest of you doing? TTC, are you getting ready to meet Jude?

 

[ttc126]

My perinatalogist appointment yesterday wasn't the best. His brain scan wasn't very good. The measurement needed to be around 50, but his blood flow was 90+! So definitely too high. They think it was because he was doing lots of practice breathing, but they are having me back Friday and are definitely glad we are all set for next Tuesday. Hopefully everything looks ok Friday...if not we won't even make it to Tuesday.
He is still breech and I found out some info yesterday that has put me more at peace with a section. Even if he wasn't breech, they would still only give me a trial of labor. The midwife at the office said it was likely I'd have ended up with a section anyway because with his brain scan not being optimal, they don't want him in any distress.
I'm getting excited!!!! I'm thinking I'll pack my bags today

 

[Cangaroo]

Oh my goodness, TTC! It's so soon! How exciting. Hope Friday's scan is better.

Spiffy- it's all up from here, I'm sure.

We're doing really well, thanks. Back to routine after Christmas this week. It's been slightly tough being on my own with the girls again having had OH to help for 2 weeks over the Christmas holidays but I'm pretty much back in the swing of it now. As long as I put Susanna in the sling rather than trying to put her down, it's fine. She will sometimes sit in the bouncy chair, but doesn't last long before wanting cuddles again. I can do most things with her in the sling, though it is more challenging!

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Cangaroo, I know what you mean about being on your own again. It was heaven having DH's help all last week, so it's been a bit rough going back to doing everything on my own. I'm glad you've found a system that keeps Susanna happy. Asher likes to be held for a bit right after he gets up from a nap, then he likes to lay on the floor and kick for a while, and then he wants to be snuggled again before going back to sleep. It's nice when you know what makes them happy.

TTC, sorry the brain scan didn't look good. Hopefully it was just the practice breathing, like they said. I can't believe you only have less than a week left to go! It's also nice that you know you're having a section and have had time to prepare, rather than finding out last minute that you have to have an emergency C-section because he's in distress. It just seems like things are falling into place rather well. Get as much sleep as you can before Tuesday!

I can't believe that Asher will be three month old this Friday! Where is the time going?

 

[Mummy2Corban]

Spiffy I'm glad to hear you have some meds and there hopefully sorting counciling. I had a councillor many years ago and it helped lots. Can't believe Asher is nearly 3 months! Iya is 8 weeks tomorrow! Crazy hey! Sending hugs xxxx

Ttc sorry the brain scan wasn't so good but hopefully it turns up his practise breathing. Did you pack your back? Eek! Sooooo close! Looking forward to seeing squishy new born pictures!

Xxx

 

[Mummy2Corban]

How are things spiffy?

Ttc another day closer to meeting Jude!

How's everyone? Babies ok? Xxx

 

[Spiffynoodles]

I'm doing okay. I know it should be too soon for the medication to be helping, but I swear I feel a little better already. Maybe it's just the hope of feeling better soon that's helping.

TTC, how did your appointment go today?