Bump buddies needed for Halloween babies!

[Darling]

Bernie of course not. There is no hard and fast rule. I was simply saying that by your thirties you're a bit more worldly wise and more emotionally ready to embrace the enormity of becoming responsible for another human being. But maturity is entirely subjective to the individual. I suppose you could even argue that being a good mother is subjective too. There are conflicting schools of thought on the subject. The bottom line is that when you become a mother you have the biggest growth spurt in terms of maturity anyway. Apologies if my comments upset you.

 

[babylove719]

Hi ladies! Havent checked in a while! I'm a nervous wreck today my first appointment and u/s is at 3:30!!!! What was I thinking scheduling it so late in the day? I'll be lucky to get there in one price without having a panic attack first from all the suspense!! I just can't wait to see that everything is ok and hopefully see a little heart flickering away in there! I'm so nervous tho!!
Haven't had any new symptoms my nausea is still only occasional (extra today tho!!)
But I've been extra tired all week even tho I'm getting to bed earlier!!

To weigh in on your current discussion, I'm 26 turning 27 in may and my dh is 28 next week!
I absolutely agree that it depends where you are in life and level of maturity. I've always felt more mature for my age. I feel like I've accomplished all I could want to before baby. I graduated from college in 2006 and have been working full time since then, paying my own bills etc. I've been with my OH for 9 years! We've been married for almost 3 years and didn't start ttc right away cos we knew we wanted time together to be "young" and carefree and we were!! Now we are both so ready to start our family and I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

Wish me luck today girls, I'll let you all know how it went later tonight!!
And Im SO excited for reaching that 5% I can't wait to be 8 weeks on Monday! I just hope the dr doesn't put me back too far to 5 weeks or something ridiculous that would feel like starting all over!!

 

[Darling]

Good luck Babylove!! Update us asap! Xxxx

 

[Nat0619]

Hi Ladies

How are we all?

Wow, I see that there are a lot of us in our worldly 30's!! I agree it all depends on the person and their circumstances. For me personally now is definitely the best time. I was married for nearly 5 years from age 27-32 and had been with the guy since I was 17. But finances were the big reason we never tried for a child, plus wanting to live a bit first. When we split up it was terrifying as I've always wanted to be a mother and was scared to death I'd never meet anyone else. But in January 2008 I met my current OH who is SOOO much better for me than my ex ever was He's wonderful I now look back and realise how wrong for each other my ex and I were Financially I am also in a much better position so now is definitely the right time

Darling, I have not heard anything about a scan date yet either, presuming my midwife will sort this out after I see her next Friday I'm really hoping she can sort it quite quickly so I've got that date to work towards.

On the subject of symptoms, I'm the opposite of most of you ladies I have hardly ANY symptoms. So few that I've ended up taking another HPT today for reassurance - line came up immediately and lovely and dark so happy for now Can't wait to see midwife!

Babylove, hope your scan has gone well hun

Happy weekend all x

 

[babylove719]

I have a little baby blob with a little flickering heartbeat!!!! YAY!! It even measured perfectly for my dates. I am so incredibly happy and can finally breathe a HUGE sigh of relief!!!

My appointment was really short. They just took my urine sample and talked about my symptoms and taking a prenatal vitamin, then did a vaginal ultrasound. Everything checked out great so far, so good. My next appt is april 12th for a long appointment to discuss all pregnancy details and the financial stuff lol. And I *think* i get another u/s then too?? but somehow I ended up not clear on that. lol
Just so happy right now!

 

[Darling]

Aw that's brilliant news honey. So happy for you. Xxx

 

[Angelique]

Congrats Babylove!!

My interview went briliantly today, so well in fact I was sent for a pre employment drug screen!!!

One point I wanna imput in the conversation about age.... My first baby was born a month after my 21st bday.... she was not planned, but I embraced motherhood, and have never looked back, I also know lots of women who have babies in their 20's. It really does depend on you... Now that I am 31 and having a baby.... I am more nervous now then I was back then lol, but I am ready... I am just starting all over again with bottles and diapers etc, where my youngest is 8

 

[pink sparkle]

First baby at 19 - mature yes, ready no! Did a lot of growing up fast. Wasnt a bad mum because i was young just made a lot of sacrifices my dd did not suffer at all because i was young and eventually single and if anything made me work harder at life and motherhood to prove i wasnt a typical 'statistic', i worked hard and provided for my baby, no state handouts for me.

Second Baby 27 - mature yes, ready hell yeah, married this time, own house etc etc much easier this time round but obviously i had done it before too which helped.

Im now 29 and last baby absolutely petrified this time how the hell will i cope with a newborn and a two year old eeeek!

Just for the record no ones comments upset or offended me just my lil story...hope your all good xxx

 

[Dr.M]

Hi Everyone,

I want to chime in on the age conversation, in part because I'd hate to think anyone got upset by what I said, and in part because I have a few things to add. ....

The first thing to mention is that this whole conversation came up because some old lady at a gym said something to make one of us feel shitty about being over 30 and having a kid. The conversation started as an affirmation of (many of) our choices to have children at a later age than women traditionally did. The point was to celebrate the benefits of being in over 30. For me, with no great partner and 10 years of grad school, it was the only possible choice. It makes me feel better to see that there are pros to this to balance the negatives:

"Forty is the New Twenty for Having Children"
https://www.psychologytoday.com/em/2043

Unfortunately, maybe we got so carried away celebrating being older moms that we weren't clear that there are also massive advantages of having kids in your 20s. Believe me, having NOT done it, I see the evidence everywhere in a sort of grass-in-greener way (after all, most of my friends did have their kids in their late 20s): easier time getting pg, maybe healthier/more low risk pg, more likely to have healthy (and younger) grandparent-type support systems, some people can have kids more on the entry-level side of their career/grad school, then aggressively pursue more promotions, etc. in your 30s (an easier plan than having an interruption when you have lots of career momentum and work responsibilities). Most people reach full brain maturity (i.e less thrill-seeking, irresponsible teenage stuff is 100% over) by early-mid 20s and can do a GREAT job - plus they might have some extra energy too To me 28 .. 37 whats the difference? nothing really but better fertility...

I think even a very young woman can be an excellent mom. I have students (18-23 yo) who have young families and they are amazing parents - especially considering that they are struggling with limited resources of all kinds and often lack partners or really supporting parents (I teach at an inner city community college in NYC). However, I know, from following lots of students - and the stats on them - that their life opportunities are limited by too-early parenthood (at least for awhile) and they have to work three times as hard to get ahead. But they do it! (just ask my former EXCELLENT single-mom student who is not at Columbia law School)

So bottom line: Every woman can DEFINITELY be an awesome mom!!!! There are advantages and challenges to every life choice - but thats what makes life interesting!!! We are all going to make different decisions over the next 7 months, but these decisions - or our celebrations of them - aren't criticisms of OTHER choices. Its all valid!!

Now let me get off my soap box to puke and eat some crackers

 

[Dr.M]

Congrats on you blob babylove! It must make the whole thing feel SO REAL I still feel like its all in my head sometimes...

 

[Angelique]

Oh my gosh!!! Hormones are in full swing tonight..... tonight I am emotional..... crying like a baby, and all because I was goin through a box and found baby pics of my 10 year old daughter, and I look at her and think about what an angel baby she was, and how sweet of a young lady she is turning into, and I get all boo hoo cuz my babies aren't babies anymore..... Lord am I pathetic or what lol. at least its a happy sentimental cry right? lol, my hubby thinks I'm NUTS!!!!

 

[Pielette]

Hi ladies! How is everyone doing?
I too have a scan date now! 12th April at 10am, and I'm seeing my midwife today for the first time, yay!
I had a really nice week at work - found out that one of my colleagues is expecting too! She's 13 weeks and announced to our department on Thursday, and of course I really couldn't hold it in and told them I am too. They're all so excited about their two 'MFL babies' (Modern Foreign Languages). I'm so pleased for her, they were trying for two years with no luck. She told me they were 10 days away from their first IVF appointment and she'd pretty much given up hope of conceiving naturally.
I'm therefore 'out of the closet' with my department but not the rest of the school, which is fine by me. I wasn't planning on it until 12 weeks... oops! Having said that I want to enjoy this pregnancy, and if it's taken away from me at least I spent the time we did have together enjoying it.
Oh, and I'm 28! Hubby is 30. I felt really ready for this, we've been together for 9 years now and we're so settled. I do look back though at my younger self and think my God, I might have been broody but there was no way I was ready to be a mum in my early twenties.
And finally on the names front, you can see mine! We're pretty much decided on Evie Patricia for a girl and Noah Michael for a boy.

 

[Leeze]

just a quick one to say hi as my parents are here for the weekend and taking up most of my time. we told them last night and they were so lovely - we all had a big hug and a little cry!!

Re names - our top names at the moment are Perry for a boy and Hannah for a girl - but I know I might change my mind (OH says he's settled with it)

I think there's lots of pros and cons of babies in 20s or 30s. One of my colleaugues had her mid 20s and now she's 45 and they've both left home and she's delighted she's got so much free time again!!! I'll probably be nearly 60 when mine leaves home - that's a scary thought!!!! (hopefully by then it will be the new 40!!)

Have a lovely weekend everyone xx

 

[Darling]

Girls. Please forgive me in advance for sharing this but I just need a port in a storm. I found out through FB that my friend's sister has lost her baby, born at peace at 26 weeks to PKD. I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking about her. It's like someone hasjust opened the floodgates. I don't watch the news and I don't watch weepy movies especially now I'm pregnant. I only saw my friend for coffee last Thursday, two days before it happened. I'm so upset. I know that a lot of it is to do with my hormones. I just can't bear to think of the pain she must be going through. Sorry girls. I just needed to get it off my chest. I know this is the least appropriate place to share it but I also know you will understand.

 

[Angelique]

Awww darling, that is so devastating.... I am so sorry!! My heart goes out to you and your friend.... I don't think there is much more painful to endure than to lose a child

 

[9babiesgone]

I thought I would pop in and say hi darling. I just wanted to see how many of you are doing. I am still ttc after my february loss.

 

[Darling]

9babiesgone - so good to hear from you. My husband was only asking after you last night. We're all ok. Sadly, Girlnextdoor miscarried last week. Hoping she's ok as she understandably pulled out of this thread. I heard some very sad news about my friend's sister and went to pieces a little bit last night as I'm quite sensitive anyway and obviously hormonal too but I've got it together this morning. (I look a state though lol). How are you doing honey? We've missed you!

Angelique - thanks hon. Dont worry I'm ok. Just being a bit of a drama queen lol. It just really upset me and I lost the plot and cried myself to sleep. I think some things can really trigger you and that did it to me.

How is everybody this morning?

I had a fantastic family day out at Centre Parcs. Never been before but it was bloody amazing!!

 

[Waitress]

Hi Darling, I'm so sorry about your friend. That is devastating. You cry as much as you need to. I'm really really sorry.

Everything else seems inconsequential in light of reading that news. I was going to tell you about my worst nights sleep ever - (5 pees and a sandwich!) so I'll focus on the more positive - we sold our house yesterday and this time I really think its going to happen. We are holding the dog responsible - turns out even labradors covered in badger pooh are appealing to certain prospective housebuyers! Looks like we'll be on the move within a month or so - exciting!

I have decided to have another early scan - the clinic call it a "reassurance" scan(!) and hopefully that is going to happen tomorrow evening. I am 9 weeks today/tomorrow and I'm hoping and praying everything will be fine.

I hope everyone else is doing well and enjoying the nice weather - bonus!

 

[Darling]

Hey girls. Sorry didn't mean to bring everybody down. Katie (the mother) has already organised a campaign to raise money and awareness and we are all going to release a balloon into the atmosphere from wherever we are on Friday at 1pm in memory of little Harrison. (Here I go again!) My husband says I've done everything I can (not much just made s very small donation and invited everyone I know on FB to release a balloon. They want to see how far the balloons will travel) and that I have to put it out Of my mind but I'm finding it virtually impossible. I just keep thinking that it would be selfish of me even if I could as it's not a luxury Katie has. Bless her heart. So darn sad. Sorry.

Waitress - thank you and congratulations that is terrific news! It must be such a relief. Perhaps these people are just 'meant' to have your house! Exciting stuff! New house and a new baby... aw bless you honey! Xxxx
That is one smart mutt you've got there!

 

[Pielette]

Oh Darling, I'm so sorry about your friend's sister. What an absolutely heartbreaking experience. I'm not surprised it affected you like it has. It's not inappropriate at all to share it here, we all need an outlet.
9babiesgone - so nice to hear from you. How are you doing?
That's great about the house Waitress!