well from one day to the next the news can change. I have bad news.
I went to my appointment and the follicles on the left side shrunk, but there are still three large follicles on the right side. So doc said that I'm out another month. She said that I can come in on Thursday just to see if they have shrunk because it's possible that with the flux of hormones from AF they could shrink in the next two days, but it's highly unlikely. she said I can choose just to not come in and that I can call tomorrow to cancel because it is really unlikely. I'm going to go, but I understand that I need to prepare to wait another month. so I'm extremely disappointed about that and she said in another month if i only have one big one left she could drain it. but they can't do that now because they don't use anesthesia to drain them and it's incredibly painful and because of the pain they can only do it on one not three. she said they only subject a patient to it without anesthesia for one. the prospect of having to do that in one month is terrifying. the simple little blood draws are painful to me. im so sad right now.
anyway as if that wasn't bad enough I decided to ask about my medical records (my clinic does not have an online portal and so i cannot review them and never know what my levels are; for example, they told me i don't have a problem with ovarian reserves, but they never told me the levels so i have no information so that i can do my own research). so i asked them if i can have a copy of my records. When I first started talking to the nurse about it, she looked a little surprised that I was asking for that information and she said we're just looking at your hormone levels (in a way that i interpreted as, well its not a big deal what we are doing). and I said I get that but I'm curious and would like the information. she said well you can sign a medical release form or you could just bring a notebook and write the information down. And I said yeah I'll bring a notebook that sounds great, but I would like the information that you have on file right now/ current info. So then when I was done seeing the doctor I went outside and asked the lady at the front if I could sign a medical release form so that I can have the records and she just looked really surprised too and i got the sense that she was like perturbed or something. then the doctor came in and heard us discussing medical release and she looked surprised as well and I felt very confused and uncomfortable. I wanted to say I'm not leaving I just want information to review but I clamped up and didn't say anything. it was just really awkward. when the doc left the room, I told the nurse thanks I just want the information bc I'm curious and the lady said well you're entitled to it. but she said it in a way that I interpreted as being upset/ it felt negative. So I walked away not feeling good about the entire situation because I think they think that I was requesting them because I'm unhappy with the service when I was really requesting them because I just want the information. its like i feel clueless when i am there because the information is not shared. i like information and want to start a file where i keep track of my levels, etc, but i didn't think it would lead to this really awkward interaction.
overall terrible day.