Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[Mummamel]

Hi all, I hope you dont mind me jumping in
My hubby and I are ttc with donor sperm. We found him on co-parents, met him a few times before hand and started the process last weekend. He lives 8hrs away from us however so its a long drive each month :/ Im currently around 8dpo (irregular cycle so hard to tell).
Hubby is a carrier of the cystic fibrosis gene and has zero sperm hence us going the donor route. He has two donor kids to a previous marriage. They dont know as yet, but we will tell them this year. Theyre 7 and 9.
I'm getting symptoms of being pregnant, however theyre so similar to pms its hard to tell!

 

[baby4me2013]

That's no good! I'm sure you'll be happy either way. Like I said, they all have pros and cons. I've loved every grade I've worked with Good luck! The last 2 semesters were very challenging, but I learned a lot.

Well, not keeping busy enough! Lol I've been on here pretty much all day. Distracted myself with some cleaning for a while. Yesterday we went out to lunch and watched a movie to distract us for a while. I have sore bbs and have had some really light cramping on and off today, but that's about it. I'm just ready to know already! How are you doing?

I really hate how AF and signs are so similar.

How am I? Ha ha. I'm freaking out.

So I politely said farewell to our last possible donor and was overwhelmed at the thought of trying to find a new one when my Bestie from HS called to say he would be honored to help us.

When we first decided to use a known donor instead of the spermbank a few weeks back, I had called him to see if he wanted to be the "the one". He has always said if I wanted another child that he would help. I never thought it would be possible because we live a few states away from each other. Then I found the KDR and realized that you can ship fresh semen! Well, he never called me back. I didn't call him because I figured it was just his polite way of saying he wasn't interested anymore. I was wrong. He sent me a text that he had just got a full STD test and was on board 100%. He has been super busy getting ready for an interview for a professor position (he just got his PhD) in Louisville. We've talked a few times on the phone and through email about the logistics of it all. This has all happened in the past two days!

I thought I would have at least one more week which would allow us time for him to get a sperm analysis done but the got me today. I am officially freaking out. We've had to change our next steps from him going to clinic to get a sperm analysis to doing an at home one which needs to be completed no later than Tuesday or Wednesday so I can ship him the two shippers and TYB. He'll need to be ready to go by Feb 7th.

Because I am not ovulating, it makes this even more complicated. I am starting the Clomid on cd5. From what I have read, taking Clomid might push ovulation further out in my cycle so I need to be prepared for that too. It's a lot of information to sift through and a lot of unknowns. I'm a type A. I don't like unknowns.

In the end if we don't get everything done by the time I get my first peak day, we'll use the spermbank. I like having a back-up but am hoping we won't have to use it.

It's a roller coaster of excitement and anxiety.

I agree, and I think that the anxiety and wanting to control the situation so much kinda puts me over the edge too. But just remember that sometimes you have to relax and turn it off. You won't get preggers if your are stressing yourself out. Not that the situation doesn't call for it.

I'm reading this book called "making babies" and they have some interesting stuff in there about how if you are stressed out and not getting enough sleep it's natures way of determining if you are going to be a fit parent. I never thought about it that way before but I am trying my hardest not to flip out, as much as I want to. I guess what I'm saying is make sure you take time out to do something fun or just do some meditation everyday so that your body knows you'll be a super cool mom!

And here I was all stressing that our donor who lived an hour away was too far, so I got one closer. I'm one lucky girl!!!

FX'd you get it worked out soon!

I hate how the symptoms are so similar too! I've been having that bloated/there's something in my abdomen feeling today and some very slight cramping/twinges. Hoping it's not just gas! lol

Sounds very stressful! That's so great that your friend is willing to donate though! You have a donor and you have a back-up!

Our donor is a good friend who is married with a child and one on the way. He lives 10 min from our house. Our first donation was very stressful and crazy! We had a lawyer draw up a contract for us. We were supposed to meet on Friday as a group and go over it/sign it. I ended up Oing early and we had to all go separately to get it signed. The plan was for our donor to come to our house to donate, but we ended up going over to his place bc his wife had to work and he had to be at his house with his child.
In the end it all worked out. I know your situation is even more difficult to line up than mine, but people somehow manage in similar situations all the time! It'll work out for you I'm also a type A, so I know exactly where you are coming from!

First of all, FX for fingers crossed!

I wanted to ask what to expect in the contract, as we are having our new donor over tonight to start and to sign. Is there anything I should request to be in there if it is not?

 

[jury3]

Hi all, I hope you dont mind me jumping in
My hubby and I are ttc with donor sperm. We found him on co-parents, met him a few times before hand and started the process last weekend. He lives 8hrs away from us however so its a long drive each month :/ Im currently around 8dpo (irregular cycle so hard to tell).
Hubby is a carrier of the cystic fibrosis gene and has zero sperm hence us going the donor route. He has two donor kids to a previous marriage. They dont know as yet, but we will tell them this year. Theyre 7 and 9.
I'm getting symptoms of being pregnant, however theyre so similar to pms its hard to tell!

Welcome and good luck! I agree, I hate that they symptoms are so similar!

 

[jury3]

baby4me - Thanks! You can find decent contracts online. Our's is pretty detailed since it was through a lawyer. I would put a statement in there about the expected relationship (Ex: DH and I will raise the child and assume all financial responsibilities, the donor will not have contact with the child until they are 18, etc). Our lawyer put a clause in stating that we would not go after the donor for child support or any other financial responsibility and he would not come after us for visitation rights/parental rights. If either of us changed our minds and decided to pursue, they would be responsible for all court costs. That way we were all protected. Hope that helps!

 

[mindgames77]

Anyone else in the 2ww? Want to wait with me? Currently 5 dpo!

 

[baby4me2013]

Anyone else in the 2ww? Want to wait with me? Currently 5 dpo!

I will be shortly!!!

 

[baby4me2013]

Well, I can say it went smoothly. New donor arrived on time, had a well prepared contract, all 4 pages of it. Looks like an attorney did it! But I read it and was satisfied. He brought his own softcups! Very professional!

So I just used the softcup he left instead of syringe this time and I think it worked out pretty well. I was worried about spillage, but doesn't seem to be the case. I'm going to leave it in overnight. Oh and also used preseed vaginally and around the rim (read that part on here somewhere). I still am negative on the OPK at CD15. So we will do it again Tues, Wed, and Thursday this week and hopefully I O soon! I am irregular, so I am hoping that my charting is correct. But either way, even if my last one is CD18, that should be close enough, assuming those live for 4-5 days.

Now, for me... I will continue to POAS like the addict I am, drink as much water as humanly possible, and TRY to take it easy. I gotta stop worrying so much about this! My own mother asked me while I was so "frazzled" about it so soon. If only she knew what all was going on. I mean, she has a slight idea, but both of her conceptions were accidental. Don't you wish we were all so lucky?!

 

[LesbianMystiq]

FX for all you ladies that have already tested or are getting ready test! You're not out until the witch rears her ugly head.

AFM, I begin my inseminations tomorrow! I picked up my tank from the cryobank yesterday and I'll be inseminating for 3 days. Please send tons of baby dust my way ladies...thanks in advance!

 

[Yorkielassy]

I'm in (2ww). Donations done and wait and see time. Good luck ladies.

 

[LunaBean]

Im so jealous of all you ladies n the 2WW!! I dont start for aaaages!! lol.

We had a contract drawn up stating the donor wudnt have contact, but he sees him every 2/4 months lol. It just worked out that way, and I dont mind at all! Its nice to see them together

 

[BrandiCanucks]

So, I think I'm on the hunt for a new donor, and it REALLY sucks, because I REALLY wanted my daughter to have a full sibling.

Spoiler

My donor and I have been communicating back and forth lately in anticipation of my tubal reversal surgery and trying to plan when to start the donations again. Shortly after we discussed this, he started asking about grandkids, saying he's always wanted them and asking if I want them. Of course, just not right now.

Anyway, he then started going off about his "huge, ya know", and "good genes", and while I agreed, he went into disturbing when he told me he wants to contribute to his grandchildren. I told him no, that I want better for my daughter, and I hope she marries and has kids with a wonderful man (or woman) who treats her well. Since the initial conversation, I have told him that the discussion about my 20 month old daughter having kids is uncomfortable for me, but he seems to be adamant that HE wants to impregnate my daughter. It doesn't matter how many times I've explained the risks of incest, or said I don't want to discuss him having sex with his biological daughter, he still goes back to discussing it and insists on making his contribution. He states it's not the same because she doesn't know him as dad.

Needless to say, I want to puke, I will no longer respond to his messages, and I'm pretty sure I'm back to square one on the donor hunt.

 

[mizcee18]

i got my bfp todady ladies! im soooo happy. thats the only words i have, I AM SOOO HAPPY!

 

[mizcee18]

today*

 

[BrandiCanucks]

WTG! Congratulations mizcee!

 

[jury3]

Im so jealous of all you ladies n the 2WW!! I dont start for aaaages!! lol.

We had a contract drawn up stating the donor wudnt have contact, but he sees him every 2/4 months lol. It just worked out that way, and I dont mind at all! Its nice to see them together

Our donor will be known as "uncle" and they will see each other as much as we see our donor's kids! lol At first we were going to go with a sperm bank, but in the end we thought it would be kind of cool for them to be able to ask questions whenever they have them. Definitely not for everyone, but we feel optimistic that it's right for us. However, we did make sure the contract states he won't ask for custody...

 

[LesbianMystiq]

i got my bfp todady ladies! im soooo happy. thats the only words i have, I AM SOOO HAPPY!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Happy and Health 9 months!

 

[jury3]

i got my bfp todady ladies! im soooo happy. thats the only words i have, I AM SOOO HAPPY!

Congrats! I told you you weren't out yet! Yay! You should post a pic of your BFP!

 

[jury3]

So, I think I'm on the hunt for a new donor, and it REALLY sucks, because I REALLY wanted my daughter to have a full sibling.

Spoiler

My donor and I have been communicating back and forth lately in anticipation of my tubal reversal surgery and trying to plan when to start the donations again. Shortly after we discussed this, he started asking about grandkids, saying he's always wanted them and asking if I want them. Of course, just not right now.

Anyway, he then started going off about his "huge, ya know", and "good genes", and while I agreed, he went into disturbing when he told me he wants to contribute to his grandchildren. I told him no, that I want better for my daughter, and I hope she marries and has kids with a wonderful man (or woman) who treats her well. Since the initial conversation, I have told him that the discussion about my 20 month old daughter having kids is uncomfortable for me, but he seems to be adamant that HE wants to impregnate my daughter. It doesn't matter how many times I've explained the risks of incest, or said I don't want to discuss him having sex with his biological daughter, he still goes back to discussing it and insists on making his contribution. He states it's not the same because she doesn't know him as dad.

Needless to say, I want to puke, I will no longer respond to his messages, and I'm pretty sure I'm back to square one on the donor hunt.

That's horrible! I'm really sorry to hear that. I would really like our kids to be full siblings too, but I know my wife would possibly like to have some kids from her eggs too. Plus, I don't know if our donor will want to contribute that long (we'd like 4 kids). So, unfortunately I know it might not happen like I hope. I just keep telling myself that there are families who adopt or are blended families, etc. It's love that makes a family, right? I'm sorry your donor is turning out to be such a weirdo...but no matter what, you will have a beautiful family that is surrounded by love

 

[jury3]

Well, I can say it went smoothly. New donor arrived on time, had a well prepared contract, all 4 pages of it. Looks like an attorney did it! But I read it and was satisfied. He brought his own softcups! Very professional!

So I just used the softcup he left instead of syringe this time and I think it worked out pretty well. I was worried about spillage, but doesn't seem to be the case. I'm going to leave it in overnight. Oh and also used preseed vaginally and around the rim (read that part on here somewhere). I still am negative on the OPK at CD15. So we will do it again Tues, Wed, and Thursday this week and hopefully I O soon! I am irregular, so I am hoping that my charting is correct. But either way, even if my last one is CD18, that should be close enough, assuming those live for 4-5 days.

Now, for me... I will continue to POAS like the addict I am, drink as much water as humanly possible, and TRY to take it easy. I gotta stop worrying so much about this! My own mother asked me while I was so "frazzled" about it so soon. If only she knew what all was going on. I mean, she has a slight idea, but both of her conceptions were accidental. Don't you wish we were all so lucky?!

GL!

 

[jury3]

FX for all you ladies that have already tested or are getting ready test! You're not out until the witch rears her ugly head.

AFM, I begin my inseminations tomorrow! I picked up my tank from the cryobank yesterday and I'll be inseminating for 3 days. Please send tons of baby dust my way ladies...thanks in advance!