Could use a buddy

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Lauren, I did the pelvic ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. I drank 32 oz and I had to pee so bad that I nearly keeled over when I got there. They said my bladder was too full and I had to empty half my bladder!!! Apparently, the 9 glasses of water deal is too much and usually 24 oz. is fine. They do an external ultrasound on the outside of your lower abdomen, then you completely empty your bladder and they do an internal ultrasound that is quick. They were able to tell from this that my ovaries look normal... I guess the next steps now are for OH to hurry up and do his SA, then a test to see how his S mixes with my EWCM. After that we will do a review with the doctor and see where we stand.

All of this is definitely time consuming, but I'm glad to get it out of the way now. I don't know how I would pull this off if I was in an office full time. My job interview is at the end of this week and I admit I'm daunted by the idea of going back to work full time. When I quit my nightmare job a year ago, the plan was to work from home and start a family. My MIL also passed away a year ago and I'm a little sad we don't have a baby on the way as we approach the one year mark of her passing.I guess life doesn't always go the way you plan it.

As for acupuncture, my practioner thought I should get my blood checked before we continue. So once I get all the results I will probably start up again. I'm all for it and personally like to use any resource thats available to me.

On a side note, does anyone else find all the scheduled BDing hard? I think OH feels the spontaneity and romance has been sucked out of it, but he tries to be a sport. People say "relax and have fun" but as we all know its sometimes impossible. Anyone have any advice on how to keep it fun? Im on day 10 of my cycle today so O should be coming up within the next 8-10 days.

Also, I think I'm starting to get baby envy. I saw this young dad on the subway completely adoring is baby boy on the way to my test and I so long for that. At the grocery store on the weekend it was all young parents and their babies. I felt like interrogating everyone and ask how long they TTCed, what was their secret and why does everyone seem to have a baby but me!

 

[sweetie888]

All of this is definitely time consuming, but I'm glad to get it out of the way now. I don't know how I would pull this off if I was in an office full time. My job interview is at the end of this week and I admit I'm daunted by the idea of going back to work full time. When I quit my nightmare job a year ago, the plan was to work from home and start a family. My MIL also passed away a year ago and I'm a little sad we don't have a baby on the way as we approach the one year mark of her passing.I guess life doesn't always go the way you plan it.

On a side note, does anyone else find all the scheduled BDing hard? I think OH feels the spontaneity and romance has been sucked out of it, but he tries to be a sport. People say "relax and have fun" but as we all know its sometimes impossible. Anyone have any advice on how to keep it fun? Im on day 10 of my cycle today so O should be coming up within the next 8-10 days.

Also, I think I'm starting to get baby envy. I saw this young dad on the subway completely adoring is baby boy on the way to my test and I so long for that. At the grocery store on the weekend it was all young parents and their babies. I felt like interrogating everyone and ask how long they TTCed, what was their secret and why does everyone seem to have a baby but me!

Glad you have the time off to do all the testing. I'm out of work right now too and should be at an all-time low-stress-point in my life. Everything that should help TTC. The "relax and have fun" advice really doesn't help the more I learn about the actual conception/OV/BD windows, etc. In fact, maybe that's made it a bit harder. But I like to be educated, prepared, and try to not waste time without having all the info.

RE: Scheduling BDing. This is something I've learned to do since I've been w/DH. With his work schedule, we'd never BD unless we made the time and he knows about it beforehand. Dr. told me not to even tell DH when I was ovulating, "so [he] doesn't get pressured". I told her if that were the case, we'd NEVER hit the window! I do try to be flirty all week though. Sweet texts/emails/phone calls, sexy reminders, and dressing up ready to go when he gets home! I try to make every night a little different...

RE: Baby Envy... oh yeah. I get it a lot. We live in a very family-focused city and with me not working, I spend a lot of days shopping/lunching with all the "moms and babies" surrounding me. I've even asked some women how long it took them to get preggers. Luckily no one has seemed to think I was a weirdo. lol

 

[Preciousone]

Hello I would love to be your buddy too.... Been trying for 2-3 months just has my 2nd AF (MONDAY) Since having my implant removed mid January...Its seems i'm on a 25 days cycle and i'm determined to get it right this month using obv calenders etc any extra advice would be gladly received.

I'm 31 and i to want 2 children so taking the chilled approach is really not an option although i get told this all the time....

I'm here for anyone who wants to have a chat and hopefully we can all make each other feel that much better Baby dust to you all and lets all hope for BFP in April

 

[lauren26]

Hello I would love to be your buddy too.... Been trying for 2-3 months just has my 2nd AF (MONDAY) Since having my implant removed mid January...Its seems i'm on a 25 days cycle and i'm determined to get it right this month using obv calenders etc any extra advice would be gladly received.

I'm 31 and i to want 2 children so taking the chilled approach is really not an option although i get told this all the time....

I'm here for anyone who wants to have a chat and hopefully we can all make each other feel that much better Baby dust to you all and lets all hope for BFP in April

My sister-in-law got preg right after her IUD was taked out--so hopefully that's encouraging!! How is the charting going so far? I'm on my 3rd cycle doing it (2.5 really..), and I think it's helping me feel like my body is normal, though it's pretty confusing, too.

 

[Preciousone]

Thats very encouraging thank you for that keeps my spirits high

I have to test around 27th onwards apparently OPK...so new to all this its mind boggling but i want this more than anything time is ticking ;(

Good Luck how long until you have to test fingers crossed for you x

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi (btw love that name), I am relieved to know that they're not doing the internal ultrasound while you're holding a full bladder! That really clarifies for me, lol. I think that's the first thing I'll get done when this insurance kicks in...did you have to go at any certain CD? I am hesitant to go after ovulating--I'm also sometimes scared to work out after OV, irrationally thinking that it will cause me to get an early period and ruin implantation. So weird the fears that have arisen since TTC.

My OH is always up for BD, though there are days when I am definitely not participating as energetically as he'd like (sorry TMI), but when he gets home from work at 11:30pm on my OV day and I'm already half asleep, it's tough! I think that, for us, having time during my infertile windows when we don't need to 'worry' about OV allows us to relax and enjoy BD without the B factor. I try to make it a point to really relax and enjoy myself during those windows (I try to relax and enjoy when I'm OV, too, but again the schedule is tough). I think changing it up helps, too, like sweetie888 said.

I get awful baby envy. I get the weepy kind, where if I look at someone with their baby too long I start to tear up and look like a nut. I, too, have wanted to ask people how long they TTC--where I live there are SO many pregnant women and babies.

I also started to get that fear that I'd instantly become my mother when I get pregnant...

 

[SashimiMimi]

Good morning, ladies! I checked in with my doctor this morning and it looks like I have some sort of abnormality with my thyroid, which could be the reason I haven't gotten a BFP by now. I'm going to start taking thyroid medication, and keep my fingers crossed that it helps. I don't know exactly how it affects pregnancy, but I plan on Googling it to death after this post!! I'm a little concerned about the medication's side affects as it can cause anxiety and trouble sleeping. I previously battled an anxiety and sleep disorder and was on medication for it for a couple of years (in hindsight, I'm sure the majority of it was caused by my job), so I'm hoping that it doesnt affect me in that department.

Welcome to the thread, Preciousone! I was on the pill for 11 years and it definitely took some time for my body to adjust. I think the best advice I can give with TTC is just listen to your body, try using OPKs but don't obsess about them too much like I did when I started TTC! Your body will regulate itself. I don't think I ever had EWCM while on the pill so the first month I went off the pill I was like "What is this!!??"

Sweetie888: Thanks for the BD advice! My OH has a high-stress job and tends to work long hours. Sometimes it's hard to time everything when exhaustion gets in the way. I'm just hoping that if I do end up going back to work in the near future, that my mental and physical health doesn't get destroyed by stress. I've definitely needed these past few months to get my stress level back in check!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Sashimi (btw love that name), I am relieved to know that they're not doing the internal ultrasound while you're holding a full bladder! That really clarifies for me, lol. I think that's the first thing I'll get done when this insurance kicks in...did you have to go at any certain CD? I am hesitant to go after ovulating--I'm also sometimes scared to work out after OV, irrationally thinking that it will cause me to get an early period and ruin implantation. So weird the fears that have arisen since TTC.

My OH is always up for BD, though there are days when I am definitely not participating as energetically as he'd like (sorry TMI), but when he gets home from work at 11:30pm on my OV day and I'm already half asleep, it's tough! I think that, for us, having time during my infertile windows when we don't need to 'worry' about OV allows us to relax and enjoy BD without the B factor. I try to make it a point to really relax and enjoy myself during those windows (I try to relax and enjoy when I'm OV, too, but again the schedule is tough). I think changing it up helps, too, like sweetie888 said.

I get awful baby envy. I get the weepy kind, where if I look at someone with their baby too long I start to tear up and look like a nut. I, too, have wanted to ask people how long they TTC--where I live there are SO many pregnant women and babies.

I also started to get that fear that I'd instantly become my mother when I get pregnant...

Hey Lauren!! I think we always tend to write posts at the same time! LOL!!
If you do get the ultrasound done, you have nothing to worry about. I don't think it matters what day you do it on of a basic look at your ovaries. I've done a few of them now as I am doing cycle monitor, which basically tells you when you are going to O. For cycle montioring, its an internal ultrasound so you don't require a full bladder. I did one on day 3, and another today. I have to go back tomorrow as well. The doctor recommending we start BDing tonight... I'm a little tired of being probed by things, but oh well. I'm actually feeling optimistic which I haven't felt it months!
I had fears about working out as well. I totally fell off the gym wagon back in the fall, but my doctor recommended I start working out again as it can actually help you conceive. So that is motivation enough for me!

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi - It does seem that way! I have a morning routine with the internet....

That is very comforting about the ultrasound. I will probably schedule it as soon as 4/1 comes around and my new insurance is effective. I am with you--when I had the alleged chemical last month my husband was surprised to notice how great of a mood I was in the next day. I was like, this means I can get pregnant! I feel like doing the tests would just give concrete evidence as to what's actually happening to there's less mystery and unknown. I tend to project the worst case scenario onto the unknown with TTC, lol. My husband also agreed to do SA if we weren't pg by April 1, so that will give us more info, too. It's great to hear about all of this! You're paving the way

Speaking of baby envy, I'm going to a bunch of events with my in-laws this weekend, which will allow me lots and lots of time to hold my little 5 week old nephew...dang! So awesome and so hard.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Lauren- Wow! 5 weeks old! He must be such a cute little bundle. I have a niece who is 3 and a nephew who is turning 2 in June. I've watched them grow from newborns into little kids and it is so amazing! Being the "Cool Aunt" definitely fills a bit of the baby void, but I'd really like to give them a cousin one of these days before they get really big! In a way, every month that I have a BFN I feel like I'm letting everyone down. It's ridiculous to feel that way, but when you're husband, parents and siblings are all rooting for your BFP, it's hard not to feel like you're disappointing loved ones.
I was really, really irritated with baby envy on the weekend when I went to the grocery store on a Saturday (packed with parents and babies). As I was pushing my cart around, I started to feel that "everyone has a baby but me" syndrome. Then a little kid went out of control and dumped a bunch of flyers in my cart while screaming his head off. I probably looked visibly annoyed when I took the flyers back out of my cart and sighed, because the dad came over, apologized and then gave the papers back to his kid. I felt like all the parents around were looking at me and shaking their heads like I was that grumpy 30-year-old woman who hates kids. I wanted to be like "No! No! I'm just annoyed that I don't have my own kid!!" LOL!
Well, I will keep you posted on my fertility testing progress. I can't believe I feel actually relieved that there is an issue with my thyroid. I'm glad that they figured it out now and now way down the road. Up until today, I felt like my doctor thought I was neurotic and jumping the gun considering there are much older women seeing him, not to mention those with serious fertility problems. But now that there was an actual issue (albeit minor), it seemed like he was much more into my "case." I'm going back tomorrow for further cycle monitoring and then have my job interview right after. Eek!!! OH and I also just booked a 2 and a half week vacation in June (thought it would help us "relax and have fun" with the BD), so it's just so typical that this interview came up days after I booked a non-refundable trip!!

 

[lauren26]

Thats very encouraging thank you for that keeps my spirits high

I have to test around 27th onwards apparently OPK...so new to all this its mind boggling but i want this more than anything time is ticking ;(

Good Luck how long until you have to test fingers crossed for you x

Precious - Yes, don't worry! The body is resilient... The OPKs are easy and kind of fun. You can get them in bulk online for pretty cheap--it helped me feel like things were going OK in my body, and helps you time BD, which removes some of the pressure and urgency!

I am only on CD 9, so I won't even ovulate for 5-6 more days, probably, and then won't be able to test for about 10-12 after that, so my test date will be between April 5-7 (and that would be early!). I am already doing OPKs for this cycle. I had a chemical and early mc last cycle, so I am unsure whether I will ovulate on time. Thus the OPKs. Also, I bought 40 in bulk for about $8, so I'm not worried about 'wasting' them...

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi - Wow!! You have a lot going on! That's really smart--I have been thinking about getting us on vaca this summer, too. Our anniversary is in winter, so we usually take a long weekend but it somehow doesn't feel like vacation if it's cold out! Sometimes relaxing is when the magic happens, too...

I KNOW I make that face at peoples' kids in the grocery store all the time--for the same reason! That and I see moms getting super annoyed with their kids and I always feel like, 'You can't be irritated!! You have kids! You have what I want!' Even though, obviously, I will get annoyed with my kids when they come.

I have had baby envy with my sister-in-law for YEARS now. I was worried about the same thing with cousins and my nieces' ages. When OH and I were first married, my eldest niece constantly asked me when I was going to have a baby, why I didn't have one, and whether I was going to name 'her' Emily--lol! They are turning 7 and 9 this year, so I thought it was too late, but my brother- and sister-in-law decided to have another last year and voila! My little nephew will be around for my kids to play with (unless it takes me 10 years to get pg... lol). I sooo feel that 'Everybody has one but me' thing. Boulder has a happening farmer's market all summer and I srsly count like 30 pregnant women every weekend. Wearing sun hats.

I'm glad, too, that you were able to find out so quick that something's up! Did your doc tell you how the thyroid thing is affecting you? It seems like it would affect hormones, but I don't really know. I talked to my OB today for the first time in a while to ask her about the Chinese herbs (she said no, which is OK with me), and described the last cycle and what I thought was a chemical. She said that based on my description it absolutely was, and thought this was good news since it will rule out some testing that may have had to happen later, and that this way I know fertilization can occur, etc. etc. So I'm feeling good! I have heard that women can supposedly be more fertile after a chemical, but I'm skeptical...I am worried about the opposite.

Anyway. Writing a novel again.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Keep the novel-length posts coming!! I have felt a huge sense of relief ever since I started connecting with you and the other ladies on this board. Fertility seems to be such a taboo topic, that many people don't want to discuss it in person. I think I'm even checking BnB now more than Facebook!
That's funny about your niece asking about "when" you would have a baby. My OH has three nephews who are all teenagers now. Their mom (my SIL) is caucasian, and their dad is Korean, so when OH and I got married the youngest nephew (who was 10 at the time) asked when we were going to have a baby because he would really like his first "full caucasian" cousin! It's kind of funny the things kids say.
I'm glad your doctor was able to confirm the chemical. It proves, like you said, that you CAN get pregnant, so it's just a matter of being patient now. Most doctors don't really agree with Chinese herbs or anything naturopathic, but herbs and acupuncture was the only thing that brought me relief from my constant UTIs after seeing specialist after specialist who had no clue what was causint them. I think a good balance of both the homeopathic route and traditional medicine is good. My brother's friends don't give their kids anything that isn't "natural" and one of the kids ended up in the hospital with a high fever over the weekend because they weren't keen on giving Tylenol to bring the temperature down. I say its all about balance.
Well, it's day 11 of my cyle so OH and I are going to start BDing tonight. It's nearly 8 pm here and he still isn't home from work. He wanted to be home early so we could fit the BDing in AND watch American Idol which is our guilty pleasure!! Not sure if we will get both in tonight, but we'll see!

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi - Good! Glad to know I'm not annoyingly rambling I feel really supported, too! I truly have no one IRL who gets this. It's a blessing, for sure, to have the BnB community--thanks for starting this thread! I, too, spend more time on here than FB...

Yes, I'm so so relieved by what my doc said. And that I can try again right away, lol. I'm nervous that I'll ovulate late, which won't help me ovulate on time. Trying to relax about it. I think the acupuncture will help with that! I know what you mean about docs and not understanding...I muscle test everything (something my chiro used to do). I'm feeling that the herbs aren't right at this moment, but will probably do Vitex in the luteal phase and red clover tea throughout. I think that the acupuncture in and of itself has already started affecting me positively. It seems like I've lost 5 pounds in less than a week.

My niece asked me, specifically, 'When is YOUR baby coming?' I think that when she was younger she assumed that since we were married that meant we had a baby on the way (she was born 6 months after her parents got married--not that she really knows that...) Kids are funny. They were soooooo excited for their baby brother to come and I can tell now that they're kind of over it already. That's funny what your nephew told you!! Kids are honest. I like that about them! There's no filter, lol.

Did you guys get to watch Idol? And BD? Sounds like a good indoor date night

I am at CD9 and no sign of creamy CM or positive OPK yet. Mine kind of comes on quick...I bet I still have at least 3-4 days before EWCM. Fx it comes soon. I'm impatient!

 

[countrygirl86]

Sashimi I totally know what you mean about feeling like a disappointment but I feel like I'm disappointing my DH. We haven't told anyone we're trying but I had wanted to surprise my family and friends by being able to say we're pregnant especially after my SIL and BF announced theirs but nothing yet.
It makes sense to be relieved that you know what's going on, I'm a little envious! Enjoy your vacation! We went away last month for 12 days and it definitely took the stress away.

 

[SashimiMimi]

@countrygirl Let's hope the hypothyroidism is the ONLY problem that's been preventing a BFP so far. I'm glad they caught it because it can make a big difference in getting pregnant and holding on to a pregnancy.

I'm waiting to O so they can test my EWCM with OH's S and see if it's compatible. If it's not we will do an IUI. The information package they gave me on IUI lists a bunch of things to avoid after you have it done like hot baths, saunas, heavy lifting and stressful situations. I'm probably jumping way ahead of myself but I've been interviewing for a new job and starting a new job is always a really stressful experience. I tend to "What if" a lot, btw!

@Lauren: Yes, we did BD and watch Idol! LOL! It was a great indoor date night and we even made it to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour. I'm at CD 12 today and I think I may be starting to get EWCM but it's hard to tell because I still have some of the dye from the HSG coming out. (Sorry if that's TMI!) I'm slightly obsessed with EWCM. I never had any while on the pill for 11 years, so I remember the first month I went off of it and experienced EWCM. I immediately started googling it and became enlightened. It's amazing how uneducated I was about my body before TTC! How is the acupuncture going? I always enjoyed the sessions and found them really relaxing.

 

[sweetie888]

Super depressed this evening ladies. The showed up and I was out with a GF at dinner. Trying not to be too sad but kinda wanna cry. Came home and found out online that Hilary Duff just had her baby (Luca Cruz - kind of a cute name) and Reese Witherspoon is preggers with her 3rd baby. And that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant (they're always saying that, but I have to admit she does look more pregnant now).

I try not to be negative, but I can't help but wonder if all the years I told my parents and friends to stop nagging me about "becoming too old to get pregnant" was wrong. If I have any problem conceiving soon, I'll have to eat my words and hear a bunch of "I told you so"s.

P.S. A very personal question (obviously totally optional if you want to tell me), but have any of you ladies on here TTC #1 age 30 or over, have you ever had an abortion or M/C before? DH seems to think a lot of women by that age have had a baby/miscarriage/or an abortion. And since I've NEVER had any of them... maybe it's why it's harder for me to get pregnant sooner? I've never even had a "scare", even though I was never really consistent at taking my pills.

Sigh. Sorry if I'm a Debbie Downer for a moment. Give me a half a day and I'll be a Positive Peggy again!

 

[lauren26]

@Sashimi - Glad you guys got your date! I love EWCM, too, though I don't get a ton of it! I used to get more. I remember getting it a lot when I was younger and being like, what is this? Am I weird? Why do I have all of this clear rubbery slippery stuff? I had no idea. Someone said something about it to me about 6 years ago and I was still like, Huh? My chiro treated me for adrenal fatigue last year and I noticed two or three months ago that I was getting some EWCM, though not much, which made me realize that I had NOT been getting it for months and months. I assume because of the adrenal issue. Wow, I guess they have to use a lot of dye, right? Curious how the mix test will go! I never knew there were so many tests... I bet the thyroid meds will help you get your BFP! Hormones are all so delicate and interconnected--at least that's what it felt like to me after dealing with the adrenals.

@Sweetie - I'm sorry she got you!! It's the worst feeling. I, too, made the grave error of looking up Google pics of pregnant celebs today, all glowing and 40. We went to see Wanderlust tonight and there was a preview for What to Expect When You're Expecting--apparently part of the premise is that all these ladies just get pregnant 'all of a sudden'--I was like, come on!! Now Hollywood's rubbing it in? Anyway, it did look funny. How long have you guys been TTC? I have several mid-30s friends who have never had any of the above. And then I have one who just turned 32 who got pregnant right away (she's one of those 'We weren't even trying!' types...annoying but also great for her). She had never had a mc or abortion. Don't lose hope!

 

[SleepyOwl]

Hey all! Been MIA for a few days. Is it weird that I sort of missed you all? So much to catch up on!

Sashimi - I'm glad they were able to figure out the thyroid issue. Hopefully this will fix whatever issues have been going on and you can get your BFP!

Sweetie - I'm 29 and have never had a "scare". Our first month TTC I had a chemical (back in Jan).

I too have been totally depressed hearing/seeing all these ppl get pregnant. Plus I made the mistake of going to the mall today during work hours and EVERYONE was pregnant or had a baby. I felt like I was going to go crazy. I had to get out of there - didn't even buy what I went in for, but oh well. I know this month is a waste since OH is gone and I haven't ovulated yet per my temps. We BD'd before he left, but still. Feel kind of hopeless. Like a huge baby, I cried after he left yesterday. Not because I'm going to miss him (I mean, I will) but because I know it's just one more wasted opp.

I made a serious mistake in telling a few people we were TTC and now they always ask. I totally regret that. One of those people is a family member, and whenever I talk to her, she insists I'm pregnant and that I didn't get my period and that it was spotting. It's SO weird. I mean I want to be pregnant obviously, but she has it set in her mind that I have no idea what I'm doing and that I am already. It's really strange, but it makes me feel terrible because I have to repeatedly say, No I got my period. Yes it was a full period. No it wasn't spotting. UGHH! Like I want to be reminded everyday that I'm not pregnant.

Anyway, really really glad to have you girls to talk to...write to...whatever! I always feel better knowing I'm not alone.

 

[SashimiMimi]

@Sweetie: it's perfectly okay to feel sad. I know I have months where I feel totally down in the dumps when AF arrives. Especially if I have a longer cycle and I'm convinced it must be a BFP only to have AF show up. I'm only a year younger than you and am on cycle #9 of TTC. I have never had a miscarriage or abortion and I assure you neither of us are "too old" to be having a baby. I remember when I was 27 thinking I was too young to have a baby so I would never have even considered it till now.

I'm seeing an amazing fertility doctor and he has assured me that this is a great age to conceive. I have a good friend who is 39 and had baby #1 two years ago and #2 is on the way. (she never had any scares or previous pregnancies) so don't lose hope sweetie!!! It's going to happen! Also don't get too worked up about celebrity pregnancies. Who knows what their ttc stories are. I think Beyonce even announced she had a miscarriage before her baby was born. Now I on the other hand get upset about BFPs on Facebook... Constant updates of people I went to high school with showing off bumps, nurseries, you name it! But again, who knows if they struggled as well. Everyone has a story and your time will come!!