Could use a buddy

[lauren26]

Sashimi - I already wrote you an email so will make it brief, but I'm sorry and I hope that OH gave you lots of love and support when he got home!! Fx that we can get our BFPs soon and together!!

lxb and country - how are you ladies feeling?? Still totally floating on the BFP goodness? lxb when is ur first doctors appointment?

Afm, having a great time so far in Nola. Got my bloodwork results and they are good...my new doc did my progesterone on the correct day as apparently it was normal, so I am not sure what my spotting is about. My doc will do more bloodwork to find out why my LP is short and why i spot and of course why I'm not pg yet.

Pino - how's the knee and diet??

Treasured - any news?

Reading ad writing on my phone but will be thinking of u all on my trip. Prob reading more than writing but based on this post who knows lol,

 

[lauren26]

Also did test today and BFN. Will continue progesterone tomorrow and the next day in hopes AF will e delayed and I can do my ultrasound.

 

[SleepyOwl]

Lauren - Glad you are having fun in New Orleans!! The food there is soooo tasty Also happy to hear the bloodwork was normal - I'm sure that's a relief, but with that said, hopefully the doc will be able to get the spotting under control and have you on your way to the promised land aka BFP!

Sashimi - I definitely don't think you made a mistake by telling your coworker. You seem like you know your workplace and this coworker well enough that I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Besides, you needed to share with someone in that moment and hopefully OH understands that now. I hope things were better when you got home!!

 

[SleepyOwl]

I still haven't tested and definitely won't tomorrow since I'm at my parents and have no HPT's. I've had cramps on and off all day and feel like AF is going to start any minute. Before I get AF my lady parts feel very warm and wet (I hope that's not totally weird), but that's how I've felt today. I'm only 10DPO and don't usually start spotting til 11 or 12DPO so we'll see. Still trying to say hopeful, but I felt REALLY dejected today. My mom had surgery this morning, so OH and I decided to come and stay with my family just to help out where we could. I had a baby shower invitation here for this girl who JUST got married and literally got pregnant her first month trying. She is due in July. I'm not going for sure unless I get a BFP before the RSVP date which means I need to get a BFP in the next week. I don't think I can go and not be bitter or cry afterwards. Besides that and my whacko MIL, today was pretty good

 

[SashimiMimi]

Lika, Lauren, Pino, Lxb, thank you so much for your kind words. Well this evening wasn't much better, OH had a terrible day at work and was visibly distraught when I got home. I think a stressful day where everything goes wrong, and all his clients were yelling at him, combined with the BFFN was too much to handle. He was literally having a meltdown, so I was actually trying to console him. I mostly cried and told him how sorry I was, I know the bfn is out of my control but it is causing me immense guilt. OH would be the best dad in the world and it breaks my heart not to be able to give that to him.

I was so distraught I couldn't eat dinner. And I don't know if I will be able to sleep much tonight, I can't even remember a time in my life where I felt completely destroyed like this. Sorry to be a downer, I didn't expect myself to take it so hard this time around. OH did end up coming around and perked up a bit. I feel bad he had such a terrible day and has to deal with this as well.

I managed to do a spin class tonight and I felt pushing myself really hard helped let out some of the frustration. I just feel totally deflated and am in one of those moods where I just don't want to get out of bed an face another day.

 

[SashimiMimi]

I still haven't tested and definitely won't tomorrow since I'm at my parents and have no HPT's. I've had cramps on and off all day and feel like AF is going to start any minute. Before I get AF my lady parts feel very warm and wet (I hope that's not totally weird), but that's how I've felt today. I'm only 10DPO and don't usually start spotting til 11 or 12DPO so we'll see. Still trying to say hopeful, but I felt REALLY dejected today. My mom had surgery this morning, so OH and I decided to come and stay with my family just to help out where we could. I had a baby shower invitation here for this girl who JUST got married and literally got pregnant her first month trying. She is due in July. I'm not going for sure unless I get a BFP before the RSVP date which means I need to get a BFP in the next week. I don't think I can go and not be bitter or cry afterwards. Besides that and my whacko MIL, today was pretty good

Another simultaneous post! I just PMed you back! Sounds like you're having a tough day as well. Hang in there, we'll both get through this. You aren't out until AF comes!

I had a lot of brown spotting this evening so I think AF might be arriving and it's only day 24 of my cycle. I actually yelled "You're kidding me!!!!" really loud when I was on the toilet! TMI but it was dark and sticky and when I had a closer look I yelled What the HELL is this!?!?!? I've resorted to yelling at myself while on the toilet. If that doesn't scream take a TTC break , I don't know what does!!!

 

[SleepyOwl]

I hear you on the guilt - I know my OH would be an excellent father and I just feel so bad I'm not pregnant yet. The fact that there's nothing I can do to change that makes it even more difficult to handle. Glad you were able to somewhat get on the same page with OH - it's hard being sad and upset, but it's a little easier when you two have each other. And be a downer for as long as you want - that's what this thread is here for!!

 

[lauren26]

Sashimi! I wish I could give you a giant hug IRL. It sucks that you and OH both had a terrible day. Be super gentle with yourself. So glad that you guys have that amazing vacation coming up

 

[Lika]

Lika--- Have you went for a blood test? I know quite a few people that it doesn't show until way later.

I was thinking about going for one... Should I wait a little longer? My last period started April 24th :/ I'm so confused!

How long do your periods usually last? I mean mine range up to 33 days. When do you think you o'd?

Going would def. relieve your mind as it will be a for sure way of knowing

My cycle usually range from 28-30 days and VERY rarely goes up to 33rd. If my charting is right I o'd the 8th but I could be wrong. I'm just very new to the whole temp charting. I did call my doc this morning and he said that if my AF doesn't start in another week and I still get I should go in.
Honestly, I just want to get my AF and get on with my life :/
to us all!

 

[haribo813]

Sashimi I'm so sorry, I know how crushing the disappointment is normally and can't imagine how that's compounded by all your injections and Dr visits. But I take my hat off to you for throwing yourself into work and exercise, that's a good way to distract yourself. I really don't think that telling one co-worker was a bad thing and think that OH is probably just very sensitive at the moment too so a break together will be brilliant.

On the mornings when I don't want to get out of bed, I just tell myself I won't always feel this bad, things will seem that little bit better bit by bit so take it easy and do what you want to do for a few days.

Sleepy-wow your MIL really is something! Couldn't believe that. Still keeping my fingers crossed for you. Thanks for info on AF too, am hoping it is a one off-it was almost like tar!!

Lauren-good news about your hormones, hope you're having a lovely holiday.

Lxb-congratulations!! That is wonderful news. That little bean will have a very funny mummy too. Very pleased for you.

I also have so much to get through at work Sashimi but holidays are coming, and not a moment too soon. Lots of love to everyone xx

 

[Lika]

Lika, Lauren, Pino, Lxb, thank you so much for your kind words. Well this evening wasn't much better, OH had a terrible day at work and was visibly distraught when I got home. I think a stressful day where everything goes wrong, and all his clients were yelling at him, combined with the BFFN was too much to handle. He was literally having a meltdown, so I was actually trying to console him. I mostly cried and told him how sorry I was, I know the bfn is out of my control but it is causing me immense guilt. OH would be the best dad in the world and it breaks my heart not to be able to give that to him.

I was so distraught I couldn't eat dinner. And I don't know if I will be able to sleep much tonight, I can't even remember a time in my life where I felt completely destroyed like this. Sorry to be a downer, I didn't expect myself to take it so hard this time around. OH did end up coming around and perked up a bit. I feel bad he had such a terrible day and has to deal with this as well.

I managed to do a spin class tonight and I felt pushing myself really hard helped let out some of the frustration. I just feel totally deflated and am in one of those moods where I just don't want to get out of bed an face another day.

Aww hun I wish I could give you a huge I know how heartbreaking are specially when you want a lil one so bad keep you chin up sweetie, your time will come and when you see that everyone will rejoice with you! This road we embarked on is sometimes so lonely and few understand the frustration and heartbreak we have to endure every time we get that but we are here for you we are all in the same journey and we will prevail!
I will keep you in my prayers, and soon you will get your !!!
** to us all **

Ps- I'm feeling like crap today :/ sick to my stomach. But I think my mind is playing tricks on me I've heard of women wanting a baby so bad they "trick" their bodies into bunking they are pregnant Nd they get all the symptoms just to find out later there was never a baby
I seriously just want my period! Getting with preg symptoms is driving me bonkers. And my doctor said that I should wait another week or 2 before coming in for a blood test . I feel is frustrated and sad all at the same time! TCC is mentally draining sometimes

 

[lauren26]

BFN and temp dropped despite still being on progesterone. I'll use it tonight and then stop. Expecting AF shortly after!

 

[Pino6161]

BFN and temp dropped despite still being on progesterone. I'll use it tonight and then stop. Expecting AF shortly after!

I was just looking at your chart. I am sorry it dropped . I did notice that last month it did not drop until the second day of your actual period. I only bring this up because this month compared to the last couple of months, and I think that means your preogesterone helped, and it is already bringing a change to your cycle. Your chart looks comparable to a "regular" temap chart. Does that make sense? I mean even if this month isn't yours, you are one step closer.

 

[lxb]

lxb - no way, DH and I's wedding anniversary is February 5th too!!! What year did you get married? What was your wedding like?

whoaaa~~~ that's awesome!! we shall have our best anniversary present yet! DH & I have been together since 2003 (Feb 7th) and we got married on 2011. We wanted it to be close to our anniversary and the 5th was a Saturday~ So I guess that's our new anniversary now! It was a small wedding, outdoor at a Japanese-style friendship garden~ The weather was perfect! Our guests only needed a light jacket.

 

[SleepyOwl]

Sorry about the temp drop Lauren but Pino does have a good point. Your chart looks very normal and hopefully the progesterone is doing its job!

 

[lxb]

lauren - hopefully progesterone is doing its job and that BFP is just around the corner waiting for you

sleepy - how r u feeling?

 

[SleepyOwl]

I'm feeling fine. AF cramps on and off and have terrible gas which is normal for me a few days before she shows. Scared everytime I use the bathroom that I will wipe and see blood. Prob won't test unless I am late by several days. I don't want to see a BFN so I'd rather see nothing at all!

 

[SashimiMimi]

One step ahead of you Lauren... AF just showed up. I just cant catch a break.

Still feeling heartbroken. Im in one of those slumps where I wonder how I will ever be happy again. The last two years were so tough with my MIL's cancer and death, we really thought this was going to be our year to start a family and get a fresh start. I guess it's just not meant to be.

 

[countrygirl86]

Sashimi - I hope you found the strength to get your day going today. I agree with the other ladies that you were right to tell that co-worker. I'm sure I would have done the same and especially with someone you like and feel you can trust. It must have been tough having to put on your strong face on for OH but it sounds like you had a good moment together. Those BFPs don't abide by any rules, for some they come easy, for some they take unreasonable amounts of work and for some they come when they're least expected. I'm hoping you will fall in the last category and will come back from Hawaii with amazing news. However if that doesn't happen, I know you will continue your quest and you WILL have a baby.

Lauren - glad you are having a great time in New Orleans! This doctor seems so helpful and it must be a relief you are getting answers. Your chart does look better and you are making progress! I'm doing well, still comprehending it all. DH and I are going camping just the two of us this weekend so we'll have a chance to let it sink in When are you back?

Sleepy - Your chart still looks good so you are still in the running for this month! Hope your mom is doing ok after her surgery I don't blame you for not wanting to go to that shower, you do whatever you feel is best.

Lika - hopefully one or the other comes for you soon! I had a 40 day cycle prior to this one and it felt like it dragged on forever and by the end I just wanted AF to come so I could move on. Fx the end of yours is a BFP though!

lxb - that's so nice! I'm guessing you live somewhere warm for it to be warm in February! We were married on a beach but it was cold and snow/ice covered, everyone was in their winter coats! We started dating June 2007 and got married in 2010. So excited to have a little bundle before our anniversaries!

 

[countrygirl86]

Didn't catch that post in time Sashimi. There's nothing that says you won't get your BFP this year, it just wasn't this past month. I have lots of faith yours is coming soon. I'm sorry you have to go through this much struggle but it will make the arrival of that BFP so much sweeter. I will have to drive up to see you and we can go for decaf coffee/tea!