Cutting down on bf without tears with a real boobie monster - Is it possible?

[MNORBURY]

Title says it all really, I feel it's time to try to cut down Evies feeds, she feeds all night and would feed all day if I let her, it's just getting to me a bit as I feel she won't ever self wean!

I suppose I'm being a little selfish but I feel like I never get a break. She wants it when she's tired so I am the one who always puts her to bed, she wakes literally all through the night and this is the quickest/easiest way to settle her (without upset). I'm at home with her all day so when she asks for it I do try to distract her but it's less hassle to just give it her as she gets far too upset (I can't stand her crying like that!)

She's rubbish with solids too and ends up having the age 7mth pouches most days as she wouldn't eat anything if I didn't give her those

I've tried her with milk in a bottle/cup in the past but she only has a couple of little sips, she's not really keen and I can't ever see her drinking a full bottle.

I was thinking of taking a bottle of milk (cows) to bed in the hope she may eventually take this instead but will it go off being out all night?

I just don't know what to do

 

[Buffy71]

can't help re the bf as I was unable but I didn't want to read and run. Also CAN relate to the giving in because it's horrible when they cry - I do with H all the time but I think unless you can conquer this in the daytime you'll have no chance in the night when you're less resilient and just want to go back to sleep. Also - unless your hubby is on board you will probably still have to do any night bottles - I've always done ours - although she slept through (till 5.30ish) in her own cot since around 5 months so I haven't had that to deal with for aaaages - I don't know how you do it! You're made of stronger stuff than me poppet

Unless your room is particularly warm I would think the milk would be ok - do you have a little cool bag? That might work?

Hope someone more useful than me comes along!

 

[eddjanuary10]

We were like this a couple of months ago hun, I can totally understand how tiring it is! I tired putting milk in bottles (even though he never had one before!), cups, spoon feeding it everything but only boob worked. At one point I even tried to give him a dummy but he just wasn't interested. I just had to be firm as it was getting exhausting. Now, I give him a little snack before bed (redibrek or something milky), bf him and tell him its time for sleep. It sounds so easy but it wasn't easy. Every time he would be laid down he would be trying to snuggle in for more milk and I would keep saing the milk is finished until breakfast. There were tears and if he got really worked up I would actually leave the room for a minute then come back in & strangely that worked for us as he was just glad for me to be back in even if he couldn't have milk. It took weeks (about 3) for this to work and not be so stressful. Now, he is bf, laid down & just goes to sleep. Ok, its not perfect as now I have to be there until he is asleep but its such a relief even at that. I had to repeat this every time he woke up which could be 2-7 times a night! Now, he wakes up 1-2 times a night and his understandng is much better that he has to go back to sleep and only feeds once at 4am when he is actually hungry and not just looking for comfort. Sorry this is so long but I totally get how tiring this is, and I want you to know it does get easier About your lo's feeding during the day, I'm no expert but if she is happy to eat smoother things just now then I wouldn't worry too much esp things like yoghurts, homemade custard,rice pudding etc which are nutritous filling and full of calcium so she is less hungry for milk. Does she drink water in a cup? hugs x

 

[MNORBURY]

Thanks for the replies ladies

I never thought of a cool bag, good idea

Evie drinks water out of one of them cups with a built in straw, it's the only thing she's taken to other than a bottle but quite a lot comes out so I think it would make her more awake in the night iykwim as it's not something she could suck and suck.

I suppose we'll get there, I had a bit of a feel sorry for me head on earlier . It doesn't help that she's still in our room! I really need to toughen up me thinks....

 

[Seraphim]

It really is challenging.

H has been getting more and more independent of milk. Just the last week or so her bedtime feed has been pretty consistently 5-10 mins instead of the usual 20. And she's been going straight to sleep afterwards rather than rolling around for 10-25 mins. And there's been a similar changes at nap time.

One of the big changes here is that she's got a baby doll and she's started playing 'nun-nights' with her baby and teddies. It's really developed her whole fondness for going to bed.

The other thing is that the last month there is always a cup of milk available, and she has one ready for after her bath which she's started to get fond of and will ask hubby for when he gets her dressed. It helps that it's a time I make myself unavailable and take the opportunity to wash!

Like you I got so tired, I felt like she was having so many milk feeds in a 24hr period that self weaning felt like it hadn't even started. I don't refuse her BF, but I think that's a personal choice everyone needs to make on their own. Just to say it's starting to work here

 

[mandarhino]

I used the Dr Jay Gordon method to night wean my daughter at 15 months. It was either that or my sanity.

https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

There were tears but they were pretty short lived. Because you're in the bed with them it is much more gentle.

I followed this method between 15-22 months (normally had a 5amish feed and then she would go back to sleep) and then I cut down to just a bed time feed at 23 months. Prior to that she was feeding three times a day during the four days I worked and then more on the days I was off.

I then weaned her a couple of days before her second birthday and she didn't really protest. I was amazed as she'd been a total boob monster before. It's been just over a week and she's only asked a couple of times and hasn't protested when I said we don't have milky anymore.

She has a cup of water in her bedroom now and we lie down together until she falls asleep. She'll drink a fair amount of water pre-bed but otherwise is coping fine.

 

[MNORBURY]

Well guess what? I bought Evie a new cup today (a straw one but a different design so she doesn't expect it to be water), I filled it with milk and she drank almost all of it!!! She still wanted boob to go to sleep for comfort but the fact that she actually likes it now is a step forward , she hardly ate any lunch though!

I think I'll copy your idea Seraphim and offer it after a bath too x

 

[eddjanuary10]

Glad Evie is enjoying milk in her new cup

 

[Seraphim]

Glad the cup worked for Evie

First night here with no BF at bedtime
I asked myself many times was I ready for this and had a firm 'Yes' reply... but boy does it feel odd.

 

[quaints]

I buy strawberry milkshake mixture and make up 'pink milk' like Lola has, as Daphne loves Charlie and Lola

Also, I have a clock which shines blue for night and yellow for day (you set the time it changes from night to day). So when I night weaned her, I told her she could only have milk when the clock turns yellow. Once she got the idea, I moved the time out later. Although she will wake before the clock goes yellow and may need comforting, she doesn't ask for milk.

 

[T-Bex]

We're going through a very similar thing; Bethan has recently had her night feeds cut off, and she wasn't happy about it for the first night, but is fine with it now. I just give her a cuddle instead to get her to go back to sleep, and she's (normally) fine with it. Having said that, I woke up this morning to find she'd got desperate and pulled my top down and was helping herself in the middle of the night... But, I think in these things, you have to have some room for debate. She'd been really good about not having her feed for the last few weeks, so she was clearly really wanting it, and not just wanting it for habit.

She would feed constantly too, if I let her. I stopped feeding on demand about 2 months ago, just because she wasn't interested in eating any solids, and was just wanting boob to make up for not eating all day. Again, it took a few days for her to get the hang of it, but she very quickly just stopped being bothered. We still have our days when she pulls at my top and says 'boob', but, she's not overly fussed, unless she's poorly. She's teething at the minute, so I think that's why she wants more boob again. She's still having her morning, pre-nap and night time feed, at the minute, though, but that's fine for us. I'm aiming to have her weaned somewhere between 2 and 3.

Good luck with the boob reducing!

 

[Ellie130891]

atm ruby isnt at the stage where i can think about stopping because she doesnt understand .....well anything really atm. im hoping in the next yr at some point i can tell her shes a big girl and doesnt need mummy milk anymore. but we are partially co sleeping and she wakes every 1-4 hrs and im shattered. shes intolerant to cows milk, wont take the special formula, and cries so hard she makes herself sick. xxx