Dealing with azoospermia?

[Deb111]

Gosh so much to catch up on!

Rae - that's great news! Keeping everything crossed for more great news soon.

Nightdaze - I hope the counselling helped. Don't give up with those blood results; it just means your dh's body has recognised there is a problem. It possibly means some areas are ok even though many are not. They can push his FSH even higher and hopefully drive the 'good' areas to produce more sperm.

Great news Wibble

Love and hugs to everyone else xx

 

[Luvoboe]

Got our sperm results back. Still zero. Life sucks. I can't even cry and show how I really feel because it will make my husband feel bad. I just really need a shoulder to cry on but there is no one who understands. No one. Don't get me wrong. You guys are great and help a lot but sometimes it helps to get a hug from someone who actually cares and understands. I could really use a hug and some comforting. And I don't even like hugs... Life sucks.

 

[wibble wobble]

Luvoboe this isn't the same as a real hug but thinking of you

(((((big hugs)))))

 

[nightdaze]

Oh Luvoboe, I know exactly how you feel. We seem to be right around the same place at the beginning of a very long road. It is so hard to stay positive, I am struggling a lot just to get through my days. It is pretty lonely when you have no one who understands and no one to talk to about all of this.

I know you want to stay strong for your husband but it is ok to cry with him, the two of you are in this together and it will make you stronger together if you open up to each other. I can't imagine how hard this is on our husbands, they are feeling so many of the same emotions as we are but also a whole different level of feeling like crap.

This is really hard Luvoboe, no one can say anything to make it better. Just take things day by day.

Deb - thanks for the info. I'm not sure how this all works, I know there is still a chance that they will be able to find some sperm but I guess we will just have to wait until we see the Urologist. I wish I knew what the chances were though and what kind of timeline we are looking at to get the appointments to find out. I'm a planner! I hate all of this waiting and not know what kind of direction my life is going in!

 

[Deb111]

Luvoboe - I'm sorry this is so hard. Have you had any counselling yet? Your fertility clinic should offer it. It can be really helpful for getting things out of your system and a bit clearer in your head. Maybe just drive somewhere and sit and cry, scream, shout - whatever you need if you feel you can't do it in front of your dh xx

Nightdaze - remind me where you live? You can get a free 10 minute phone consultation with dr Turek (google him) - even if you don't decide to use him - he will give you a useful appraisal of your dh's blood test results and might help to get things clearer in your head xx

 

[nightdaze]

Nightdaze - remind me where you live? You can get a free 10 minute phone consultation with dr Turek (google him) - even if you don't decide to use him - he will give you a useful appraisal of your dh's blood test results and might help to get things clearer in your head xx

Thanks Deb. I live in Canada and was actually thinking of giving him a call, I have been researching a few different doctors in case it comes down to us having to travel outside of our province for help. I don't know what the capabilities of are for the clinic in town, I'm sure they do TESE but I want to know what other options are available elsewhere to us. I think I'm going to get a part time job (in addition to my full time job) to start saving my pennies!

 

[Deb111]

Definitely give him a call then - we did and what he told us was very similar to what we eventually ended up doing. He was realistic but very positive about our results and it really helped to put our minds at rest whilst we were waiting for appts here. It also gave us some good pointers on things to ask our urologist about when we saw him

 

[MJ73]

Hi girls.
Luv, I'm sorry you're going through this. But hang in there. Each step of the way is tough & can be heartbreaking. We, on this thread are your friends & send you virtual hugs.

I hope it's okay, I'm on my mobile so just copied this from my journal. It saves me having to type it all out again on my phone.

Well today has been a bit of a tough day, our FS's office kinda stuffed up & sent us the results for Simon's ultrasound & bloods. I am not a doctor, but obviously am worried that it says there is a lesion on Simon's testicle that needs to be biopsied. We have been told that as Simon has one undescended teste (won't he be glad I've written about that )he is at an increased risk of cancer, so this is quite worrying for us. We weren't supposed to get the results emailed to us, the receptionist was supposed to call & make an appt for us to see the FS. We still have no answers tonight, but we do have an appt with the FS on Weds. Till then we are telling ourselves the lesion is just scar tissue from the TESE & biopsy. Poor Simon sent me a text telling me that he's feeling a bit blue tonight. Unfortunately I'm up at my Mum's caring for her so can't be with him to comfort him. Poor love, he's been so strong throughout all this IF stuff,but I know it really is tough on him.

 

[Pink Lolly]

Hi girls.
Luv, I'm sorry you're going through this. But hang in there. Each step of the way is tough & can be heartbreaking. We, on this thread are your friends & send you virtual hugs.

I hope it's okay, I'm on my mobile so just copied this from my journal. It saves me having to type it all out again on my phone.

Well today has been a bit of a tough day, our FS's office kinda stuffed up & sent us the results for Simon's ultrasound & bloods. I am not a doctor, but obviously am worried that it says there is a legion on Simon's testicle that needs to be biopsied. We have been told that as Simon has one undescended teste (won't he be glad I've written about that )he is at an increased risk of cancer, so this is quite worrying for us. We weren't supposed to get the results emailed to us, the receptionist was supposed to call & make an appt for us to see the FS. We still have no answers tonight, but we do have an appt with the FS on Weds. Till then we are telling ourselves the legion is just scar tissue from the TESE & biopsy. Poor Simon sent me a text telling me that he's feeling a bit blue tonight. Unfortunately I'm up at my Mum's caring for her so can't be with him to comfort him. Poor love, he's been so strong throughout all this IF stuff,but I know it really is tough on him.

Oh MJ sorry to read this and that is shocking that you found out the results in that way. Love and hugs to you and your DH and hopefully its nothing to worry about

 

[Pink Lolly]

Hey all :wave:

I've just caught up on al of your news but there are too many to mention individually. I can't believe how many girls are on this thread now! Well done Deb for setting up such a fab group - where would we be without it?!

Hugs to all those struggling at the mo, and those who have received bad news I think we have all been there.

AFM I just had my second DIUI today and have everything crossed for a - I want to be bump buddies with Deb and Silverbell when she gets her really soon!! xx

 

[Deb111]

So sorry MJ - I'm sure all will be fine and at least you don't have long to wait for your appt. Seriously though, the amount of 'medical' errors, mistakes, **** ups and incorrect info we've been through in this group is crazy!!!

Hope your Mum's doing well and that you're back with dh soon xx

 

[snd80]

Hey all :wave:

I've just caught up on al of your news but there are too many to mention individually. I can't believe how many girls are on this thread now! Well done Deb for setting up such a fab group - where would we be without it?!

I know, right?! I probably would have offed myself months ago w/out all the support on this thread!!! She is truly an awesome lady!

 

[snd80]

to MJ! Thinking of you both!

I swear, it seems that if it isn't one thing, it's another whilst going along this journey!!!

 

[Pink Lolly]

to MJ! Thinking of you both!

I swear, it seems that if it isn't one thing, it's another whilst going along this journey!!!

Totally agree with this - it's one thing after another!

 

[Deb111]

Hey all :wave:

I've just caught up on al of your news but there are too many to mention individually. I can't believe how many girls are on this thread now! Well done Deb for setting up such a fab group - where would we be without it?!

I know, right?! I probably would have offed myself months ago w/out all the support on this thread!!! She is truly an awesome lady!

Thanks girls, but I only set up a page - it's all of us (yes! let's blow our own trumpets!! ) amazing and strong women who have made this group what it is today

 

[snd80]

to MJ! Thinking of you both!

I swear, it seems that if it isn't one thing, it's another whilst going along this journey!!!

Totally agree with this - it's one thing after another!

Speaking of... (and please don't judge me), but... the man that owns the furniture store I work at had to have a double bypass done today, and all I have been worried about this week is "please let everything go ok, cause if he dies, between his 2nd wife and his kids fighting over what he has, I will be outta a job and will have to use my baby fund to get by while looking for a new one!" Is that not terrible!!!! That all I could think of was myself! But I have been working towards this for soooooo long now, another set back would have done me in, especially when I am THIS close! Thankfully, so far so good with him! He made it through ok and is in recovery... Now I feel bad for being so selfish! God, please don't punish me for that!

 

[deafgal01]

Snd- No worries. You do have to look out for yourself. Sad but this world has become one where many have to look out for their own self rather than be considerate of others. I'm glad the owner survived the surgery and is recovering. I can't believe that his 2nd wife and kids would be the type to fight over such silly things. I wonder if he has a will written up. Hmmm... Kind of morbid to ask someone that. It's like asking if they have a grave plot already.

How's everyone holding up? I've been throwing myself into work and school.

 

[Deb111]

Sorry to hear about your boss hun Don't beat yourself up - this journey has made us all feel things we don't like feeling and, speaking for myself, has, at times made me someone I don't like very much. I defy anyone to go through such a horrible journey and not feel bitter or selfish at one time or another (not that I think you are being selfish by the way!)

 

[snd80]

Thanks girls! You have NO IDEA how these ppl are! Like you said, plotting like he is already dead! His wife hollering if something happenes to him, she was shutting these doors; his son crying, not over the fact of him being sick, but the fact that he would have to put up with the wife if everything isn't in order (he thinks the business is going to him in the event if his dad dies)... just a bunch of shit! As one who has lost a parent, I'm thinking ok... you will regret this one day!! Some people!

 

[deafgal01]

That is dramatic. Too bad that he married her. If he hadn't, things would be so much less complicated, especially where his kids are involved (it doesn't matter how old they are- still affects them one way or another). My MIL had to deal with something similar- not as bad as that situation you're telling us of but still kind of dramatic nevertheless because her 2nd husband's kids expected more stuff to be given to them than what he had written in the will (and she actually had to convince him to put them in his will and give them some things). Eventually she got fed up with them asking for more stuff like photos their dad took and stuff after he passed away, I think she ended up standing up to them and sending a letter to them to tell them to stop.

Snd You just need a real hug on days like this. I wish we all were closer to you.