Dealing with azoospermia?

[Deb111]

Well I have ALWAYS wanted a girl - for as long as I can remember and I used to think I wouldn't want to know because if they told me it was a boy I'd be a bit disappointed, even though I knew when it arrived I'd be thrilled whatever. So I always thought I'd like the suprirse as I'd be delighted whatever.

However, Terry wants to know for the nursery (even though I've told him I'm not into the whole blue for a boy and pink for a girl - I much prefer the neutral schemes) and after what we've been through, I really couldn't care less what it is as long as it's healthy so I know if we find out there wont be a glimmer of disappointment.

My concern though, is that Terry CANNOT keep ANYTHING to himself! And if we find out I don't want ANYONE (except you B'n'B girls) knowing and I'm not sure I can rely on him for that so we're a little unsure right now

 

[deafgal01]

That's a tough decision when he wants to know and you want to be surprised. Hopefully you two will figure out what you both want in the end and maybe be surprised when baby is born. I like the neutral color theme idea. If you did that, which color scheme are you doing for nursery? I know one of my girlfriends did brown walls for her nursery- then now with her baby born, she gets to add accents/splashes of colors in the decorations for the room. At least you have basically another 11 weeks to decide that, then if you two still haven't agreed, you can always put off finding out until you two do agree. Good luck deciding on whether to know or not. I used to want to know when I get the chance but now I think I might have changed my mind and want to be surprised... Like you said, all we care about is a healthy baby in the end of all this to hold in our arms and love forever and raise.

 

[Deb111]

Don't think I explained it very well - I think I lost my train of thought After what we've been through, I'm perfectly happy to find out - my one concern is keeping it secret

I like the creams and browns schemes at the moment - nice and light and airy

 

[deafgal01]

Deb- you can blame it on baby brain. As for me, I can blame work for making me exhausted that I misunderstand things.

Brown and cream- good color scheme. Hopefully your man can "keep" the gender a surprise/secret from everyone until baby is born. Has he ever been able to keep a secret in his entire life? If he is, then maybe he has the ability to keep it secret with you.

 

[raelynn]

I'm with you Deb. I always wanted it to be a surprise too but hubby has talked me into finding out ahead of time once the time comes. And, like you said, whatever future baby may be, I'll be delighted just to have it.

 

[MJ73]

Hi Girls!

How is everybody going?

Sorry I haven't been on for a few days. Life has just been super hectic! Anyway, so we had the appt with our FS on wednesday & we don't really know anymore than we did before the appt regarding the lesion on Simon's testicle. Derek (our FS) said that he doesn't think it's cancer (that is such a scary word!) because in his opinion it doesn't have enough increased vasularity (blood supply) to the area. He then said, however that this is not his area of expertise & that it would be remiss of him not to investigate further. So, we have an appt with a urologist colleague of his who specialises in cancer & Simon had to have another blood test to check his tumor markers. Our appt is on the 17th of April, so not too long to wait.

From a fertility perspective the latest bloods show that Simon's testosterone is low & his eostrogen is slightly elevated. SO, Derek has put him on Tamoxifen, which is actually a drug that they give women with breast cancer, it is an eostrogen blocker. So, it should naturally push up his testosterone & push down his eostrogen which apparently could help with our sertolli cell problem. It could help the little spermies grow further along the growth cycle to be more mature. Go team sperm! Grow little guys grow. So, we need to postpone our cycle by a month or two to give this drug a chance to work.

Anyone's hubby's been on Tamoxifen. Just wondering if we should expect any side effects? And, did the drug work for you in terms of sperm found on TESE?

Thinking of everyone. Those who are waiting waiting, those who are choosing, those who are grieving & sad & those who's dreams have come true; thinking of you too. Am just so thankful for this group

 

[Pink Lolly]

Hi mj - I can't help but i think the lovely deb may be able to xxx

 

[Deb111]

MJ - mt hubby's testosterone was very low, but his estrogen was fine. His urologist put him on tamoxifen for 3 months before the mTESE. It was fab!! He didn't get his sex drive back but within about 3 days he was a different man! More positive, more motivated, happier, so much more energy etc

Strangely though, they actually pushed his estogen level UP so the urologist changed him to anastrazole, which weren't as great for him in terms of the energy and motivation, but obviously did the trick. It might be worth getting a blood test done ion a couple of weeks to check those 2 levels if you can?

Lots of luck and glad he doesn't seem too concerned about the lesions xx

 

[snd80]

Hey girls! Hope everyone is doing well this weekend...

I am having a crap day today... my boss isn't doing so hot and things aren't looking too good for him. Then that damn clomid has messed up my cycle and so far on CD15, no ov yet! I'm like, I did better on my own! I always ov'd on CD13-15 w/out it, and now this! Ahhhhhh!!! And on top of all this, we both have been sick with the crud since Tues, so I haven't been to the gym since Weds... nothing seems to be going right this week!!!! I just feel like crying! Then to start off next week, hubby has to go to the hospital Mon. morning to have his fistula (dialysis shunt) checked. They think it has clogged, and if so, they will have to cut it open, clean it out, and send him back into dialysis to run afterwards! Why, oh why, does everything seem to crash all at once! I was sitting here thinking, I wish I could just go and hide from the world and all it's crap for a while!

Sorry for being Debbie Downer today, it's just a very hormonal-emotional day so far! Thanks for listening! to each of you if you have made it this far!

 

[deafgal01]

Snd- tell me about it... I'm feeling the same- for different reasons. I'm sick of seeing that one young girl on fb post about her pregnancy- she's only like 20 and she's pregnant already- about 9 weeks along, not even married. Then there's another lady on there that's nice- from my school days and she's got a beautiful boy baby and I feel envious of the first time mother joys she's getting to experience. I'll send extra prayers and happy thoughts in your direction today I think we both could use a real hug in real life.

 

[Deb111]

Sending you both hugs girls - sorry you're having a crap day xx

 

[Pink Lolly]

Sending you both hugs girls - sorry you're having a crap day xx

And from me too xx

 

[MJ73]

Sending loads of warm hugs to Snd & DG too. Sometimes it seems that the crappy days outnumber the lovely days with this IF business. Snd, hope hubby is ok

 

[deafgal01]

Here's something to chuckle at...

I told my DH about it today and he was like, "you shouldn't be jealous of these high school girls... Do you want to be pregnant and in high school?" I told him, "well, no that's not the reason I'm jealous of them, I'm jealous they get to be pregnant and we don't" But the idea of him thinking that I was jealous of them being pregnant in high school was funny.

 

[cosita]

Hi Girls, I know there are some good days and a lot of bad days. But it's so important to try and be positive and try to see the big picture. Throughout our lives I am positive that this will be something major but also something that makes us stronger and will always make us appreciate our children just that little bit more than others who didn't have to fight for it.
I emigrated 10 years ago and I appreciate my family and they appreciate me more than anyone I know. It's so important not to take things for granted...as we all now well know. I am not religious at all so I don't believe this is God's way of teaching me something but I do think that it is making me a better person in many ways. It has also taught me that just because society does one thing (reproduce) doesn't mean that everyone has to do it the same way and that the important thing is to have family and share a loving life with your children and teach them all your values. Your children may be from a donor or may be adopted. It doesn't mean they aren't your children. It's hard having to be the strong ones to teach people or put up with people who don't have open minds, these are usually the people who haven't had to struggle with the things you have to and are not sensitive to others. I feel sorry for these people. Sorry for the rant girls. Have a good Sunday!

 

[deafgal01]

Cosita- beautiful said. It is hard to have to be the stronger ones to struggle with this but you're right- in the end it's all about having our own little ones to raise and appreciating them all the more for the hardship we had to go thru to get to this point. Thank you.

 

[snd80]

Well said Cost! Thank you for that!

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine turned out ok after my little breakdown. Yesterday hubby and I came to my workplace to look through profiles of donors and in the middle their site went down. Go figure! But at least he got to see the ones I had saved in my favorites! So one step closer... finally ov'd yesterday on CD16, called Jackson this morning and the nurse said that was perfect, that the clomid makes ov a few days later than normal, but CD16 ov on the clomid was perfect! =) So progesterone test is set for MOnday 4/9! Hubby is at the hospital as we "speak". They are gonna have to cut his arm open and blow up his fistula to unclog it.. can't be w/ him cause I am running the store. Ahhhh! Mondays!

Hope everyone is well and has a great day!

 

[SunUp]

Hey all!
DH and I had a rough patch the past few days - but the good news is we meet with the Dr TOMORROW to actually, for real, plan out our treatment. Its been a long wait but I hope to have some good news tomorrow, and hopefully can get on and post soon!

 

[nightdaze]

Hi all. Cosita, thank you for those lovely words - they were just what I needed to hear today.

Monday just isn't very fun is it. This day really seems to be dragging on and on and on.

We finally got the referral appointment for the Urologist - it isn't until NOVEMBER!! Can you believe that. 8 month wait for our first appointment to start trying to figure this whole mess out?! I am going to call that office every week to try to get a cancellation. Hopefully they will get sick of me calling and just move us up.

We are going to have a phone appointment with Dr.Turek on Thursday to see what he has to say. Hopefully he will give us some good information and let us know what we can do in the meantime...

Hope you have a lovely day. xo

 

[Pink Lolly]

Gosh nightdaze that is a long wait - I would definitely push for a cancelation