Dealing with azoospermia?

[SunUp]

Hey everyone! I hope you all are doing well - I love how far we have all come, if you read back to where we were in the early threads, we have made a lot of progress. I know it seems like its a long wait but hopefully by this time next year we will have lots of little ones and pregnant moms, thinking about how much we went through, but how worth it it is!

 

[Pink Lolly]

Hey everyone! I hope you all are doing well - I love how far we have all come, if you read back to where we were in the early threads, we have made a lot of progress. I know it seems like its a long wait but hopefully by this time next year we will have lots of little ones and pregnant moms, thinking about how much we went through, but
how worth it it is!

Love this!! Xx

 

[cosita]

Hey everyone! I hope you all are doing well - I love how far we have all come, if you read back to where we were in the early threads, we have made a lot of progress. I know it seems like its a long wait but hopefully by this time next year we will have lots of little ones and pregnant moms, thinking about how much we went through, but how worth it it is!

I love this too! It's so true, we should take time to look back and realise how far we have all come. I had a bit of a meltdown the other day. I went to my follow up with gynae on Friday after hsg etc and the results were all perfect. Why the meltdown you mind ask?
I don't know, I think I just really want to prepare myself for the possibilty of using donor sperm and until now I had always been worried about my husband, about how he would feel. Then I started to realise, that I might actually feel worse!! I thought that the one thing I want is to see the man I love in our children, and if anything would happen to him I could continue seeing him through them. I felt very selfish but I eventually told him and I´m glad I did because he said the most amazing thing....
He said that I would see him through their memories, through how they are, through all the things we will do together.
He really hit the nail on the head.
Hope you have a good weekend girls x

 

[Deb111]

Cosita - that is really beautiful what your dh said

 

[snd80]

Hello girlies! Hope everyone is having a great day!!!!

Well, just wanted to give a little update on myself. I finished my first round of clomid last night. Now it is a waiting game.... but I did something very exciting today though! I purchased the donor profile search and started looking at donor profile picts!!!!!!!!!!!! But I am very disappointed so far! I guess I dreamed that I could find one that would be my husband's twin, and so far I have not seen one that even remotely looks like him!!!!! My stomach is in knots!!! Gosh, IDK what to do now!!!!! Don't get me wrong, there are some really good looking guys on there, but none look a thing like my hubby!!!! And we want people to think it is his baby. I know I don't have to choose one today, but this is just gonna be harder than I thought!!

 

[Pink Lolly]

Hello girlies! Hope everyone is having a great day!!!!

Well, just wanted to give a little update on myself. I finished my first round of clomid last night. Now it is a waiting game.... but I did something very exciting today though! I purchased the donor profile search and started looking at donor profile picts!!!!!!!!!!!! But I am very disappointed so far! I guess I dreamed that I could find one that would be my husband's twin, and so far I have not seen one that even remotely looks like him!!!!! My stomach is in knots!!! Gosh, IDK what to do now!!!!! Don't get me wrong, there are some really good looking guys on there, but none look a thing like my hubby!!!! And we want people to think it is his baby. I know I don't have to choose one today, but this is just gonna be harder than I thought!!

Hi Snd

Sorry you're having trouble choosing a donor but please try not to worry....remember it doesn't need to look exactly like your DH. The most important thing is that the key characteristics match like hair colour, eye colour, height, build etc. xxx

 

[Step Mummy]

Hi SND, I know it is hard, it took me 10 months before I could actually start to look after we found out we could not have a child together, my DH took the news better than me, as he just wanted to make me happy (also he already had a son - now aged 20 - which I think helped him).

I was really worried about rejecting the child or not wanting it once it was here, because of "what" it was, I was also really worried it would just look like the other person and not me at all and I would always see someone else in them. I had a tought time, I did now know how some people can just move straight onto it, but everyone is different, I know there are benefits to just getting on with it, but I had to take time to grieve for our loss and adjust to this. even now I am still greiving, 1 1/2 years later and I DO NOT want to do this (and thats the thing I struggle with most), but I have accepted that this is all we've got.

When I started looking the first time I was too trying to find his identicle match, but in the end we found someone who had the right hair colour, face shape and eye colour, who also had lots of sisters and aunts (as idealy we would like a girl). Unfortunately we had 3 failed goes with this one and it was suggested that this was because we were incompatible??? So we had to start the process again, which was tough again!

I also needed CMV negative which restricted the choice to barely nothing, so it has taken us 5 months to find a donor this time that we liked and we are starting again next month.

Eventually you feel happy with your choice and it all feels "nearly right" and you get excited. Just take it all step by step, remember there is no rush, just take your time and get used to the idea before you rush into it. take your time to greive for your loss, because that is what it is - a loss.

Good luck, x

 

[Pink Lolly]

Hi step mummy :wave:

Lovely to see you here again. Sorry about the three failed iuis - using a new donor sounds like a good plan!

Fingers crossed for you xx

 

[cosita]

Hi girls,
well we just got back from my husbands biopsy and it looks like good news!! My DH was completely on a high after being sedated but he said the doc clearly said they found sperm. Later I asked the nurse (didn't see doc) and he said it was true. Of course we have no idea how much or in what state it is in and we won't know for another two weeks. Arrrggghhh! I don't want to get my hopes up, but its a hell of a lot better than not finding anything right!!
Any of you who have been through this, what is it they do with the sperm now? What are they looking for?
DH feels fine, said it was the best sleep in the world!

 

[snd80]

Thanks girls! I hope it was just the "first-look" jitters!

Step Mommy- Thanks for your advice... It's not that I am not ready to move on to this, but more that I had this idea implanted in my brain that I was gonna find another Marty out there! Another bad thing is he is thinking the same thing as I am, that we will find his "twin". I have chosen a few and saved them for him to look over this weekend so once I get him involved, I'm sure these feelings will go away!

I too am CMV-, so you know how the choices are sooo limited!!! I even thought about looking into another bank, but have already spent $175 to look on xytex, and my specialist in Jackson said they have the best quality specamins of all, so I almost feel stuck with them!!! Ahhhhhh!!! I think I am just getting worked up over nothing, but me being me, that is just how I am wired... always thinking ahead! LOL!

 

[Deb111]

Great news so far Cosita - I'm not sure what they will be looking for because things like motility don't matter with ICSI. Keeping everything crossed for more great news to come xx

 

[cosita]

Great news so far Cosita - I'm not sure what they will be looking for because things like motility don't matter with ICSI. Keeping everything crossed for more great news to come xx

Yeah I don't know either, but I am happy with the news so far. How are you keeping Deb? Has the shock worn off yet?!

 

[Pink Lolly]

Great news cosita!

I can't help about the sperm but I'd say any is better than none!

 

[Deb111]

Great news so far Cosita - I'm not sure what they will be looking for because things like motility don't matter with ICSI. Keeping everything crossed for more great news to come xx

Yeah I don't know either, but I am happy with the news so far. How are you keeping Deb? Has the shock worn off yet?!

I'm ok thanks - not feeling great but surviving! Still don't think it's sunk in most fo the time but scan tomorrow and it should be looking more like a baby than a blob

 

[wibble wobble]

Great news cosita xx

 

[raelynn]

That is great news Cosita! I guess we're both in the waiting game right now for the lab to do whatever it is they do before we can get our final results Waiting is no fun but it seems to be all we do anymore.

 

[deafgal01]

How's everyone holding up? Deb- you'll have to let us know how the scan goes tomorrow.

I'm doing fine. Keeping busy with work and school as usual. I'm really looking forward to having a week off from work next week. I need it for my sanity to recharge.

 

[cosita]

That is great news Cosita! I guess we're both in the waiting game right now for the lab to do whatever it is they do before we can get our final results Waiting is no fun but it seems to be all we do anymore.

Hi, I know the waiting is the worst, but it has taught me to patient about other things aswell, thats me, always looking for a bright side!!

 

[Deb111]

So scan all went fine and managed to sneak a look round our local maternity unit today - all starting to feel a bit more real now! xx

 

[deafgal01]

Glad it's becoming more real to you now that baby looks more like a baby than a mass of something. Are you going to find out the gender or be on team yellow and wait to find out the surprise when baby's born?