Dealing with azoospermia?

[Deb111]

November seems crazy!!!! Glad you've got a phone appt with Dr Turek - I'm sure he will give you some good info / advice. I know it sounds obvious, but make sure you've got all dh's blood test results in front of you xx

 

[KB38]

Hi everyone, I haven't had a chance to catch up on everyone's posts but I really need a shoulder to cry on. About two weeks ago today, I woke up with a stiff back. I took an anti-inflammatory and went to work. As the day progressed, the pain got worse and worse until I couldn't move my leg. I was in the worst pain I have ever experienced (I've never had a back problem though). I put it down to all of our FS appointments the week before and stress with that, work and life in general. By the time I got home from work, I was in total agony so DH took me to the hospital. They told me that it was a strain and gave me some stronger meds and sent me home. The next day, for the first time in I don't know how long, I stayed home from work. I was in so much pain I called DH home because I was frightened to be alone. The following day he took me to a different hospital and they admitted me straight away with suspected disci tis which is an infection in my L5 disc. I lost urinary function the day I was admitted (it has returned to normal now, just from the excruciating pain) and spent 6 nights in hospital. The only thing keeping me going was that I knew that when I got home, we could start with our donor sperm. Suffice to say, I was devastated when the urologist and neurosurgeon told me that I might now need a spinal fusion and, best case scenario, it will be a year before I can safely try for a baby. I feel gutted. I am young and relatively healthy and have had no other health problems. Now, for some unknown reason, an infection has got into my system (it could have been from a cut on my hand), wound up in my back and ruined everything. I am off work for another 3 weeks before I see the neurosurgeon again. Assuming I don't need surgery, I might be able to start work part time. I am having such a hard time on that front too. I just don't understand why this is happening! I have been in tears for days. It seems so cruel that we finally work out how to proceed, tick all the stupid boxes and then this happens. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to get myself back together? I feel like it is somehow my fault, like if I'd looked after myself better since DH's diagnosis, it might not have happened.

 

[deafgal01]

Oh KB! First of all, it might have happened regardless of whether or not of having taken care of yourself. There are some things that are not within our control. I think this is one of them perhaps. It sucks to hear you have to wait a long time, do they really say you have to wait that long? What's the reason for making you wait a year?

 

[raelynn]

Nightdaze, can you get a referral from another doctor? Our RE told us that if we tried to book an appointment with the urologist by ourselves they would book it in 6 months but with his referral they booked us in 3 weeks. If he hadn't told us that ahead of time we never would have known the difference a referral could make.

 

[Step Mummy]

Hi KB, ah love, I am so sorry, what a horribly tough time you are having. I am sorry that I cannot offer you much comfort, but you must keep your chin up, at least you have the next few months to get yourself really healthy, and just imagine if you had finally gotten pregnant then this happened in the early months, things would be a lot worse. At least you have time to get well, get your body in tip top condition, then hopefuly you will get lucky on the first go with your donor.

Try to plan some nice things to look forward to like a holiday or break away, a girly weekend away or something, thats what we did when we first found out about not being able to have a baby ourselves.

Thinking of you x

 

[Deb111]

KB - I'm so sorry - life really does seem to thrown everything at you when you feel you can't take much more Hopefully things wont need to be delayed that long, but you need to take good care of yourself and get this sorted before you become pregnant as LO needs you in good health. I wish there was something I could say to make it better, but please know I am thinking of you xx

 

[nightdaze]

Thanks Deb and Raelynn.

The appointment in November is actually the referral appointment from our GP. I called the office and asked about getting on a cancellation list. The receptionist said if there are any cancellations they go to the cancer patients. I said 'oh, that's a good idea' and she said (in kind of a mean tone) 'so I'm sorry I can't help you but at least your husband doesn't have cancer'. Kind of rude to say something like that but fair enough. Can't blame me for trying though.

So we will just wait and hopefully other good things will happen in our lives while we carry on.

KB - sorry to hear about your complications. It sounds like you were in an awful lot of pain. I hope that your recovery goes well - make sure you take as much time as you need to get better and get healthy.

xo

 

[Deb111]

The receptionist said if there are any cancellations they go to the cancer patients. I said 'oh, that's a good idea' and she said (in kind of a mean tone) 'so I'm sorry I can't help you but at least your husband doesn't have cancer'. Kind of rude to say something like that but fair enough. Can't blame me for trying though.

xo

Understandable to point out, but unnecessary attitude by the sounds of it xx

 

[wibble wobble]

Just sending everyone a great big squishy (((((hug)))))) today because it sounds like everyone is in need of it xxxx

 

[MJ73]

Thanks Wibble; all hugs received with much joy! Hugs back to you hun.

Nightdaze, so sorry that you have to wait till November & that the receptionist gave you attitude. I've decided, after this whole experience that some Medical Receptionists are on a major power trip

KB, I am so sorry that you've been through such a horrid time. Just know that we are here for you if you need us That must be so upsetting thinking about waiting a year before fertility treatments, but if your body is telling you to slow down then you must take care of you first.

As for us, well we feel like we have had a little bit of a win today. Simon's results for his tumour markers came back normal. Now, according to my boss (who is also a friend), who is a hemotologist it would be very unlikely to have a testicular cancer & have those results come back normal. So, I think we can let go & breath a sigh of relief. Simon is over the moon. I am feeling a little more reserved about it until we see the Urologist on the 17th. The fact remains that there is a mass on his (only) testicle & that makes me very nervous, but I'm putting on a brave face for him.

BTW, Deb, I made a mistake, Simon is not on Tamoxifen, he is on Armidex, which hopefully will push his testosterone up & his eostrogen down, phew! Did Terry have any side effects? Simon's been having a bit of nausea.

 

[MrsC8776]

Hi ladies! I have been stalking here for quite some time and I have finally decided to make my first post in here. Thank you MJ, Pink Lolly, and Deb for inviting me to join.

We are having to move to IVF/ICSI/TESE because DH had a vasectomy before we were married. He got it reversed and things were good for a little while. Sadly it healed back and now we have nothing to work with. I know some of you are in different situations but I just thought it would be nice to talk with some ladies who are in similar situations. We are looking at IVF in July/August. DH has his urology appointment on the 26th when he gets back from Afghanistan.

Other than that I don't really have much else going on. Just waiting for the next AF and I will start getting all my blood work done. So now just waiting...

 

[MJ73]

Welcome Mrs C, lovely to have you here. If you have any questions about TESE or zero sperm, this is the place to ask them Not long now till hubby gets back & you can start all the tests. As for the waiting, we seem to get pretty good at waiting when we're dealing with male factor IF, don't ya think?

 

[snd80]

Massive to KB, night and everyone else on here that needs one! It is downright horrible when some medical personell are so insensitive to people in our situations, as if we don't already have enough on our plates without adding insult to injury!!! Please! Want me to come do some recon for you girls?! I need a good fight! LOL!

And welcome to MrsC! We are all here to bitch and moan to while in this horrid "waiting game"... Hey! That should be a new movie... "The Waiting Games" starring all the BNB Azoo girls!

Hope everyone has a great day!

 

[Deb111]

Welcome MrsC - glad you decided to stop by The waiting is horrible, but to have to fir appts round when your dh is home too must make life extra awkward

MJ - that's great that it's arimadex as they were definitely better in terms the estrogen for terry. He did have some nausea first thing in the morning, but he wasn't sure whether he put that down to his thyroid meds or the tamoxifen / arimadex

 

[silverbell]

Hi girls,
well we just got back from my husbands biopsy and it looks like good news!! My DH was completely on a high after being sedated but he said the doc clearly said they found sperm. Later I asked the nurse (didn't see doc) and he said it was true. Of course we have no idea how much or in what state it is in and we won't know for another two weeks. Arrrggghhh! I don't want to get my hopes up, but its a hell of a lot better than not finding anything right!!
Any of you who have been through this, what is it they do with the sperm now? What are they looking for?
DH feels fine, said it was the best sleep in the world!

Cosita, I'm keeping everything crossed that the sperm found is good and plentiful I know when we saw Mr R he said any sperm or tubules found would be sent off for thorough examination and investigation where they look at each stage of sperm growth to determine where it's going wrong and if the sperm are viable etc. I can't remember any more than that I'm afraid. We waited 13 days for our results and it was the worst wait out of everything. I really hope you get some fab news soon.

Thanks girls! I hope it was just the "first-look" jitters!

Step Mommy- Thanks for your advice... It's not that I am not ready to move on to this, but more that I had this idea implanted in my brain that I was gonna find another Marty out there! Another bad thing is he is thinking the same thing as I am, that we will find his "twin". I have chosen a few and saved them for him to look over this weekend so once I get him involved, I'm sure these feelings will go away!

snd - I'm so sorry the choosing has been so tough. We had a list of 7 donors to choose from and we only knew the main things such as height, hair colour, build and eye colour. It made it much easier than I imagine it must be if we had more info! Don't forget that there are millions of kids out there that look absolutely nothing like their parents or that look more like one than the other. Or sometimes they look more like relations than they do their own parents. It doesn't always mean anything and I agree with cosita's partner - you will still see your husband in your child because of the way they have been brought up.

Hi Girls, I know there are some good days and a lot of bad days. But it's so important to try and be positive and try to see the big picture. Throughout our lives I am positive that this will be something major but also something that makes us stronger and will always make us appreciate our children just that little bit more than others who didn't have to fight for it.
I emigrated 10 years ago and I appreciate my family and they appreciate me more than anyone I know. It's so important not to take things for granted...as we all now well know. I am not religious at all so I don't believe this is God's way of teaching me something but I do think that it is making me a better person in many ways. It has also taught me that just because society does one thing (reproduce) doesn't mean that everyone has to do it the same way and that the important thing is to have family and share a loving life with your children and teach them all your values. Your children may be from a donor or may be adopted. It doesn't mean they aren't your children. It's hard having to be the strong ones to teach people or put up with people who don't have open minds, these are usually the people who haven't had to struggle with the things you have to and are not sensitive to others. I feel sorry for these people. Sorry for the rant girls. Have a good Sunday!

I couldn't agree more with this Cosita. Great post and so true

We finally got the referral appointment for the Urologist - it isn't until NOVEMBER!! Can you believe that. 8 month wait for our first appointment to start trying to figure this whole mess out?! I am going to call that office every week to try to get a cancellation. Hopefully they will get sick of me calling and just move us up.

We are going to have a phone appointment with Dr.Turek on Thursday to see what he has to say. Hopefully he will give us some good information and let us know what we can do in the meantime...

OMG nightdaze ... that seems a ridiculously long time to wait! I know it's not always possible, but is there any way you can get that initial appointment privately so as to try to speed things up? It might be worth looking in to.

... Now, for some unknown reason, an infection has got into my system (it could have been from a cut on my hand), wound up in my back and ruined everything. I am off work for another 3 weeks before I see the neurosurgeon again. Assuming I don't need surgery, I might be able to start work part time. I am having such a hard time on that front too. I just don't understand why this is happening! I have been in tears for days. It seems so cruel that we finally work out how to proceed, tick all the stupid boxes and then this happens. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to get myself back together? I feel like it is somehow my fault, like if I'd looked after myself better since DH's diagnosis, it might not have happened.

Aw, KB, I'm so sorry! What a complete and utter nightmare and how shocking that this all happened just when things were being sorted fertility-wise. I really don't know what to say other than that I really hope you're feeling better very soon (it sounds horrendous, you poor thing) and that it most definitely is NOT your fault. I feel confident in saying that all of us have probably not looked after ourselves very well since our DH's diagnosis. Please don't blame yourself - it sounds like a fluke thing to happen and it's just sod's law that it's happened at the exact time you didn't need it to. Thinking of you and hoping and wishing for a speedy recovery

As for us, well we feel like we have had a little bit of a win today. Simon's results for his tumour markers came back normal. Now, according to my boss (who is also a friend), who is a hemotologist it would be very unlikely to have a testicular cancer & have those results come back normal. So, I think we can let go & breath a sigh of relief. Simon is over the moon. I am feeling a little more reserved about it until we see the Urologist on the 17th. The fact remains that there is a mass on his (only) testicle & that makes me very nervous, but I'm putting on a brave face for him.

Wonderful news, MJ! It sounds very promising and I hope the 17th brings wonderful, reassuring news for you both at last.

Hi ladies! I have been stalking here for quite some time and I have finally decided to make my first post in here. Thank you MJ, Pink Lolly, and Deb for inviting me to join.

Welcome, MrsC! Hope you find this thread useful. It's good to be with others in the same position.



As for me - had my first DIUI yesterday It was painful, but all went well and I'm now in that dreaded 2ww. Keeping everything crossed that AF stays away.

 

[deafgal01]

SB- Hope you get a bfp at end of your tww.

Welcome MrsC.

How's everyone doing today?

 

[snd80]

Thanks SB and I am praying really hard for your BFP this first try!!!! I was reading your journal and seen you talking about seeing the swimming on the screen! Fascinating! I hope they will do the same with me so I can see as well!!!! That would be sooo awesome!!!!! OMG, I am getting so excited now!!!!

I got hubby up here over this past weekend and we began to look through my saved "favorites"... and in the middle of looking their site went down. But hubby was not impressed with my findings! He told me I needed to look harder at cheek bones, jaw lines and foreheads! I was like you are too fat for me to even know what your real jaw line looks like! But IDK... I found 2 I really liked as far as hair, eyes and skin tone (hubby is Native American Cherokee w/ olive tone skin) but he thinks I am looking for someone I'd like "to date".... really?! And too, me being CMV-, my choices are really limited!!! So we are going to have another look again this weekend. I am trying really hard to get this done cause I have my annual pap the end of this month and was gonna have the U/S done, and if my good side is producing, I will go ahead w/ the first try. I only wish no I didn't have so much info like you said! I even thought about looking at ones closest to me, but I really want some of "him" in the baby, ya know? Just pray for some piece of mind for us this weekend! I sure need it with him!

Hope everyone else is having a great day!

 

[nightdaze]

Silverbell - I am going to keep everything crossed for you and send you lots of good vibes!
MJ - that is such great news!!
SND - I hope you and hubby can find 'the one' together!
Mrs.C - Welcome!

We just had a phone appointment with Dr.Turek - my goodness that man is amazing. So kind and so easy to talk to. He couldn't believe that we had to wait so long to see a Urologist here in Canada. I wish there was a private option for us but nope- just waiting. So...I know there is still a lot of discussing to do with my husband but I think that we are going to take a road trip down to San Fran for an appointment with Dr.T for a the mapping. At least by the end of that all we will know where we stand. We will be a few steps ahead of the game by the time our appointment comes around in November and if we have already had the mapping done by Dr.Turek (and sperm is found) then all we would need to do is start prepping for ICSI/IVF and the sperm retrieval. I'm trying to stay positive and Dr.Turek said that with him we have a 69% chance of finding sperm. Now to just save some money! A summer road trip down the coast would be lovely!

I'm really trying to stay positive but this whole waiting game has its ups and downs. Good day, bad day, ok day, terrible day. They just cycle on random rotation.

Happy Easter lovely ladies. xo

 

[Deb111]

We just had a phone appointment with Dr.Turek - my goodness that man is amazing. So kind and so easy to talk to. He couldn't believe that we had to wait so long to see a Urologist here in Canada. I wish there was a private option for us but nope- just waiting. So...I know there is still a lot of discussing to do with my husband but I think that we are going to take a road trip down to San Fran for an appointment with Dr.T for a the mapping. At least by the end of that all we will know where we stand. We will be a few steps ahead of the game by the time our appointment comes around in November and if we have already had the mapping done by Dr.Turek (and sperm is found) then all we would need to do is start prepping for ICSI/IVF and the sperm retrieval. I'm trying to stay positive and Dr.Turek said that with him we have a 69% chance of finding sperm. Now to just save some money! A summer road trip down the coast would be lovely!

I'm really trying to stay positive but this whole waiting game has its ups and downs. Good day, bad day, ok day, terrible day. They just cycle on random rotation.

Happy Easter lovely ladies. xo

So glad the phone appt went well. We certainly found him very interesting and informative to talk to.

It sounds like today has been one of the good days xx

 

[Stinas]

Hello Ladies!!!
It was nice to read most of your stories today...made me feel much better.

I will be 28 this month, DH is 33. We have been TTC for over a year now. I have always had irregular periods, so I knew TTC would take longer than "normal"....after we hit the year mark I decided it was time to see whats going on. All bloodwork came back fine, had an HSG done in Feb, all clear....so thats when DH did his SA. I was hoping and praying it was me, but today I got the news...no sperm. He has never had any problems or surgery down there, so I am hoping its just a blockage, but already preparing for the worst. OB said IVF will most likely be our only way to TTC. Im still trying to wrap my head around everything. Its nice to come on here and read the success stories. I never thought I would be here, but here I am. As DH said, there are worse things in life that people go through, this is just a little bump in the road. Very true, but its just hard. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but knowing I have the support of my loving bnb friends, i Know we will be ok.
Thank you for starting this thread!