Dealing with azoospermia?

[CanadianMaple]

Stinas- Not a must at this point, but we went through a really difficult patch in March and I want to avoid falling in a pit like that again. We're newlyweds too (last July) and I figure with a smaller foundation than people who have been married awhile, it would be a good idea to talk some of it out. My husband is Catholic and struggles with some of the aspects of IVF and donor sperm. D.S. is going to be our plan B and we want to talk a tiny bit about it too. If we do the donor route, we will have to see the psych. We may be facing big questions about treatment, donor vs. TESE, etc... My husband is already 43 and we don't want to have to wait another year for IVF.

Deb- When I was pregnant with my son, four years ago, I was really sick. I had to take diclectin to help me cope. It's really tough, but usually after the first trimester, it gets so much better with energy and nausea for most.

cosita- Good luck! I hope you get good news!

Mercury1- I hope you get good numbers! I had to wait about 10 weeks for our genetic results and I hated the wait. My husband also had surgery as a child and my gut tells me that is what caused his azoo.

I hope everyone had a great day!

 

[Stinas]

Canadian - I totally understand!! If i was that early on in my marriage I would go as well. DH and I have been together for almost 11yrs, this month married for 2yrs, so I guess its a bit easier for us to deal with things since we have been through quite a few things all these years. No matter the years though, men are men and when dealing with something like this, something that makes them feel less of a man, there will always be a lot of issues....i think everyone should talk to someone, at least once. DH is stubborn...and likes to keep it all in, so in ways thats my struggle, but over the years I have learned how to ease it out of him with out letting him realize he told me how he feels lol Men are so dumb sometimes. haha
All I suggest is that you should not let this hurt your marriage...as hard as it sounds. You both feel in love with each other, not your reproductive systems. Of course having a baby usually comes after the marriage, but we are the ones that have to take the detour route. Dont worry...dh will eventually come around. WE are here when you need to vent!

 

[Mercury1]

No matter the years though, men are men and when dealing with something like this, something that makes them feel less of a man, there will always be a lot of issues....i think everyone should talk to someone, at least once. DH is stubborn...and likes to keep it all in, so in ways thats my struggle, but over the years I have learned how to ease it out of him with out letting him realize he told me how he feels lol Men are so dumb sometimes. haha

Stinas - my OH is very into talking about emotions and being open (he's been in psychotherapy for several years and thinking about retraining himself) and used to tell me I need to talk about my feelings more, but when it comes to this subject he's EXACTLY like you've described! Sometimes he brings it up but then tells me to stop going on about it!! It's such a difficult thing. Thanks for the good wishes for the sperm numbers ... still a very long journey, but nice to have a small bit of hope.

Canadian - I hope you two are in a positive place at the moment, it sounds like you are after a difficult time before.

Cosita - lots of luck for today, I hope it's good news.

 

[Stinas]

Ttc in any form is a hard thing to go through. I have only known about the azoospermia for 2weeks Tom, but I have been on the ttc crazy train for a year and a half. It's beyond stressful. Knowing its azoo now just puts things more into prospective. If you are not strong it will crush you. Having a baby means the world to me, but I wouldn't want to lose the one I committed to spending my life with and sharing that world with over. After a whole things fall into place no matter how bumpy the road may be before that. That bumpy road sucks beyond belief, but the end is worth it.
I keep telling myself this and it helps, but I won't call the kettle black, I do tell myself to shut the f up one those bad miserable days. It's normal.

 

[Luvoboe]

Hi all,
Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm feeling a little better. I'm going to have to take a few minutes to catch up on what I've missed.
I just wanted to take the time to share a slightly embarrasing moment in the hopes that it can put a smile on someone's face.
I work as a nanny and I was talking to my boss about how her baby is so active. We are speculating that she may be an early walker. I then said that thinner babies tend to have better motility. Erm. I mean mobility than chubbier babies. I guess I have sperm on the brain a little more than I expected! Hopefully the mom didn't think sperm counts also! Speaking of which, we go in for another analysis in a month.

 

[cosita]

Hi girls,
Thanks for all your good wishes. Unfortunately we didn't get the news we had hoped for but its not all bad either. They found sperm, not a huge amount but enough to work with. But the motility is zero. I had thought this wasnt a problem with ICSI but doc said they have no guarantee that it will fertilise and the only way to know this is to do ICSI. I hadn't heard of this before and we were completely surprised...or horrified. Basically it can go either way. I feel as if we are in the same position as before the biopsy. It can go either way. So we told him we were ready to go ahead with ICSI and then the next setback came along....
We are in Spain, my husband is a civil servant and they get special 'priviledges'. One being that their health care is a body of its own and at public prices they get private care and also many extras. I pay public insurance and in Spain this entitles you to 3 cycles of IVF/ICSI. Private entitles you to 4.
Until this point we were led to believe that, being a married couple, and reproduction being something we do together, we were both entitled to what our partners are, meaning that its the couple that recieves the treatment. Not the individual. Doctors had told us this and lots of heresay. Well it seems not. While female civil servants are entitled to 4 cycles and meds, the spouses of male civil servants are not.
So we have to pay or what the 18 months. I know we are very lucky to live in a country where this is done on public health but its so unfair!!!!
Meeting IVF specialist on May 7th to see what nxt step is. We are going to pay for one cycle at least cos cannot wait for 18months to see is sperm is usable or not!!
So now we have to get our heads around all of this, wait until nxt appt and hope we can be patient!

 

[cosita]

By the way Deb, I didn't ask what took so long to get results! They send it away and study it in detail but dunno why cos they still can't tell us where the problem is!
Thanks for being there girls.

 

[Deb111]

Cosita, I'm sorry it's not all good news. Thinking back to our NHS op, I now remember them saying that one wasn't moving and they had no way of knowing whether that one was alove or dead - I guess that's what they're talking about with the 0 motility

Luvoboe - good to see you back and glad you're feeling a little better. Love the story

 

[WANBMUM]

Hi Gals!

Its me again!

Sorry for being MIA of late.

So sorry to see all you newbies, I really am, but it is a good place to be, with a whole lot of support.

If I can help anyone with any questions, give me a shout.
Basically to give you all an idea of my situation.
My OH and I had been TTC for almost 2 years when my OH decided to get tested - he said himself he wanted to be eliminated - he was convinced I was the one with the issue. His SA was ZERO, he had several, all zero. He was put on antibiotics, he had ultrasounds, they took tissue samples, all with horrible results, ZERO sperm. basically, he had surgery years ago and his reproductive system was damaged - his tubes were blocked with scar tissue and even though they thought they might be able to do something, in January of this year, a year after his initial test, we got the final news to say there was nothing they could do

We were willing to do what was necessary to have my OH's biological children, IVF etc. we had spoken about donor sperm etc, but I spose if Im honest, I dont think either of us thought it would be a reality.

TIPS for you girls with difficult husbands! I don't mean difficult but it is so hard for them to talk about it and such a rollercoaster for them. (let alone us) My OH hated me bringing it up, I guess my timing was never right and he would become annoyed. So what I started doing is saying. I want to discuss something with you, will we set some time aside in a couple of days time, 1/2 an hour or an hour. This really worked, as he was set up for it and he knew there was an END to my conversation - HAHA.

We are going ahead with donor sperm, it did take a while for my OH to be ok with this, but time really helps. Dont think your OH's are not researching as my OH did alot of this, quietly and privately, without me realising, its all about them dealing with it in their own way.

So at this stage, I am having IUI (with donor) on my next cycle - in May - in the past year I never thought I would be so happy to be going down this route as all I felt was sadness, but we are genuinely happy. We know this is the way we are meant to have our babies and once we do have (please god) it will not matter biologially.

If any of you have any questions, if I can help in any way, let me know. As you will see from previous posts, us oldies have been through all sorts of emotions and madness and have a good idea of how you are all feeling and I am sure I will be here soon, like a hormonal emotional freak who will need your support too

ps sorry for rambling, i have a couple of months to make up for

 

[cosita]

Hello again,
Deb Iḿ not sure if he meant they were dead, I think the bio analysis would have picked that up??
Wanbmum, thank you so much for your message, it was just what I needed today. Time is the best thing in every situation, I forgot that for a while today. Thanks for reminding me. I am so happy you and DH are so happy. Its such a great boost for everyone!

 

[WANBMUM]

Cosita - your welcome - I know its such a cliche - but time really is everything -boy do we know it on this road!! If this whole process doesnt make us patient I dont know what will.
I can't really help with your motiliy questions as we had nothing showing up. But as everyone kept saying, like eggs- it only takes 1 - 1 good one anyway.
What is next for you? How often does your OH have to go back?

What I found the hardest at the time, was WAITING for the next appointment, some were months away, which I found head wrecking - but looking back - as much as I wouldn't believe - the time really helped us as a couple to come to terms with things and not to have it all on top of us.
Have you had tests done yourself?

 

[Stinas]

Luvoboe - That is too funny!!!! I honestly think we all have sperm on our brains....all the time...its all I think about.

cosita - I wouldnt want to wait that long either! I hope it all works out for you guys! No matter where you live all healthcare sucks!

WANBMUM - Thank you very much for sharing your story with us newbies! Your OH sounds like mine. I guess it does get better with time. Happy to hear your this much closer to getting a baby!

 

[raelynn]

Cosita, will they let you do another TESE as backup if the frozen sperm don't work with ICSI? I know for us, they found a few in 3 of hubby's samples so when we finally get to egg retrieval day, they will have our urologist on standby in case the frozen sperm don't survive the defrost. The urologist will perform another TESE and hope to find sperm in the same places he did before. We're of course keeping our fingers crossed that the frozen ones work but it is nice to have a backup plan just in case.

 

[Step Mummy]

By the way Deb, I didn't ask what took so long to get results! They send it away and study it in detail but dunno why cos they still can't tell us where the problem is!
Thanks for being there girls.

We had the same, they did the SSR, told us they found "Nothing" at all, but had sent it away for further examination, mainly I understand now, because my DH was such a medical mystery because he had a 20 year old son, so how could he now have no sperm, all he has is the start of them growing then they die! No other symptoms, nothing on bloods etc. And to this day - and year and a half later, we still don't have a reason why, all we know is "we will not be one of the miracle couples who have a baby naturally" so I was told. Doesn't stop me dreaming though!

 

[Step Mummy]

Hi Gals!

We are going ahead with donor sperm, it did take a while for my OH to be ok with this, but time really helps. Dont think your OH's are not researching as my OH did alot of this, quietly and privately, without me realising, its all about them dealing with it in their own way.

So at this stage, I am having IUI (with donor) on my next cycle - in May - in the past year I never thought I would be so happy to be going down this route as all I felt was sadness, but we are genuinely happy. We know this is the way we are meant to have our babies and once we do have (please god) it will not matter biologially.

QUOTE]

Hi wanbmum, I am glad you have both finally come to terms with it, for some of us it does take a long time. My DH was fine with it - I think he just wanted to give me what I wanted and this was the only way - but for me I struggled, we have been together for 10 years and all that time I wanted his baby, just to look like him - like his son does - his son is the mirror image of him! so he was ready to go for it straight away. it took me 1 year to come to terms with and actually be able to start doing the IUI-D, I could not come to terms with not having his child staring back at me. In a way I still can't but I am doing what I have to, but each day I still think "This is not what I want to be doing - at all" and I can't shift that, I just try to think past this, it will be all right once the baby is here, I will be so preocupied with love I will forget all about it. At the end of the day, I still just want to have my DH's abby and that's all there is to it. No amount of time seems to remove this pain (we are now 20 months after SSR).

GL to you, I hope your first IUI-D works for you.

 

[cosita]

Thank you all girls,
I just reading back the report again and I remember the doctor said that its all quite normal, just no motility. Which I don't think means they are dead right?
Raelynn-They didn't freeze, our doc thinks its better to use fresh, so when we start the cycle they will do another biopsy.
Wanbmum-Our next appt is on the 7th of May with IVF specialist, until now we have been with andrologist.
I am fine, all my tests came back great so if it did come to using ds, it wouldn't need to be IVF right? Is that a personal choice? An economic choice? Those of you who have went down that road could you give me some insight?
Thanks girls.

 

[deafgal01]

Finally got blood work back. Levels all look good.

Deb- please update my status on 1st page, 4th blood work finally show good levels on the meds so next update will be a dick check on June 15th.

 

[raelynn]

I am fine, all my tests came back great so if it did come to using ds, it wouldn't need to be IVF right? Is that a personal choice? An economic choice? Those of you who have went down that road could you give me some insight?
Thanks girls.

We're not going down the donor route (for now) but I did ask our fertility center about this and they said it wouldn't require IVF just IUI.

 

[silverbell]

DH had a testicular biopsy done this morning! Did not get any opinion from doctor on what he saw in tissue sample, so we just have to wait a couple of weeks to find out.

Welcome, rdleela. Sorry you have found yourself here, but you'll get lots of support here for sure. I do hope the results are good for you both

Trying to stay realistic though. Still haven't had the genetic results back. The urologist implied that they should be OK as the cause seems to be the surgery as a child, which was quite late. But a friend of mine who's a reproductive scientist said that as undescended testicles aren't normal, there could be an underlying genetic reason for that to have happened in the first place

Mercury - sounds very positive - great stuff! I do hope everything works out well for you both.

So now we have to get our heads around all of this, wait until nxt appt and hope we can be patient!

Cosita, I'm so sorry it wasn't as good news as it could have been (but at least there was something happening). Looks like you're back in the dreaded azoo limbo I hope something gets sorted for you both quickly.

So at this stage, I am having IUI (with donor) on my next cycle - in May - in the past year I never thought I would be so happy to be going down this route as all I felt was sadness, but we are genuinely happy. We know this is the way we are meant to have our babies and once we do have (please god) it will not matter biologially.

Hey wanbmum. I'm so pleased you're both happy with donor sperm now and that your first try is so very soon. I really do hope you get lucky first time. We felt the same when we were trying last cycle. You finally get a chance to be excited after so long waiting and waiting and dealing with disappointment and upset. It feels amazing when you first start and you realise you could really, for the first time ever, get pregnant. Thinking lucky thoughts for you


Hope everybody else is OK x

 

[Step Mummy]

I don't think you would need to have full IVF if you are in good health, I have the all clear too and am having IUI-D which is obviously much cheaper and much less involved than IVF, also much more natural - using natural selection of sperm - meaning the strongest swimmer gets the egg, rather than the IVF specialist selecting the swimmer and implanting it.

We have had 3 IUI-d attempts and are just facing the IVF route if another 2 IUI goes fail, but this go we have new a donor, so FX, but I am unhappy about going for full IVF for many reasons, I believe that you just need to keep going and eventually it will happen - a bit like those who do it naturally - "normal" people don't get PG the first month they try!

GL whichever route you chose.