Dealing with azoospermia?

[SunUp]

Hey Brandy- I know where you are right now...
I felt the same, there was no way.
Here I am, months and months TTC and now am working on planning Donor IUI #3.
It sucked at first, but now I couldn't care less. It WILL BE my husbands child. Bottom line.

It does take a while to get - even somewhat ok with- the idea of donor, but to me it was a better option than going straight to adoption. I don't want to be able to have someone else decide how to do things during pregnancy and possibly back out at the end. That being said, I do love adoption and think its great, but I think trying for a pregnancy is better for me, and DH.

Also, yes, I would use DE, and I would consider donating eggs, if I got to that point with IVF. Someone amazing out there has given me the gift of my child that I don't even have yet, and for that I am so grateful... to be able to give that gift to another couple in the same situation (just reverse) as us would be wonderful.

Just my 2 cents

 

[BrandyRelax]

Brandy, at one point, I was totally against for using a donor. But once we realized DH has testicular failure and the odds of finding sperm was low, we needed to consider other options. For us, we would have had to be in the middle of an IVF cycle the day they would do his biopsy, and if we were against using a donor, we would have had to cancel the egg retrieval and be out the total cost of the cycle and surgery. (~$15,000) We were given about a 1 in 5 chance of having a successful pregnancy. It's a lot of money to pay back on top of a lot of pain.

DH is 44 in September. We don't have time to wait years for an adoption. His family didn't have a really positive adoption experience. His sister has FAS and the birth mother lied about her alcohol and drug consumption and his sister, even now at 40, is very difficult to deal with. Even his parents told us to think hard about it, especially since I have a 4 year old from another relationship.

We look at using a donor as a 1/2 adoption, plus we don't have to trust someone to make the same choices as we would during the pregnancy. He or she would still have half of our genes, be related to my son, and we would still get the whole pregnancy/birth/newborn bonding.

My husband is still struggling because he is more worried about the child resenting him in the future. He's scared the child will not see him as the "real dad" and always be wanting to know the donor. He is still grieving the child he thought he would have with me. He didn't start to grieve until about a month ago, when the urologist told him how low his odds were in having a bio child. I had been reading about it for months and am further ahead in the grieving process.

There are perks to donor sperm. We would just do IUI. Less invasive, cheaper and would happen quicker for us. DH is Catholic and struggled about leftover embryos. He is raising my child as his own and we know he can love a non bio child and how my son already takes after him. My son looks a lot like me, so strangers just assume he looks more like me. We all have blue eyes and are fair skinned.

I know I am feeling defensive. I probably shouldn't lurk when I am having a bad week. I just wanted to clarify why we are mulling over the idea of using a donor. Would I use donor eggs? I hadn't thought a lot about it, but I think I would. It would take time to process, just like this whole azoo nightmare has.

It's definitely early in your journey. You may have to really look at options you never would have considered. Many azoo families use donors or adopt. It really depends where you draw the line with infertility treatments, surgeries and costs where you end up in all of this.

I hadn't really thought about it being a 1/2 adoption. That's a whole different take on the issue - it's really an adoption decision, not that you're trying to replace DH, but together you're adopting... Definitely something I'm going to have to think about.

 

[Sar187]

Brandy-sorry you find yourself here, but you have come to a great group!

DG-DH had general anesthetic for his surgery as well, prep was probably 30-40 minutes, the surgery itself took about 45 minutes, then he was in stage one recovery for a little over an hour and in stage 2 recovery for a little over an hour. So altogether it was probably 3.5 to 4 hours.

 

[Deb111]

CM - I think the men are always a bit behind us in getting their heads around this - we seem to do so much research and chatting on here that we seem to move on quicker. It also seems to be a recurrent thing in here that the women like to think ahead and have plans and a back up plan, whereas the men seem to want to wait and see before thinking of the next step. I guess the whole 'men are from mars; women are from venus' thing is true!

Stinas - I would certainly have considered egg sharing - but it was never a possibility because of my age and my low AMH meant that I didn't get many eggs either

 

[raelynn]

Well I finally got some news today. Trigger should be either tomorrow or Thursday. Woah! I can't believe it is already here! E2 was 1880 today and they doubled my dose of gonal f tonight (to 150iu) I guess to give my slower follicles a little push to catch up. I'm really excited but nervous too!

 

[deafgal01]

RAE good luck girl! May you implant a baby for us azoo aunts to get excited over!!!!!!

 

[CanadianMaple]

Good Luck Rae! I can't believe how quick your journey has gone!

Angela/Step Mummy- I hope this cycle is it for you. It sounds like it could be a good protocol for this cycle!

We are seeing our RE today to go over all the info he has gathered on us since January. DH pretty much said last night that he doesn't want to even try the TESA, and the mTESE is ruled out since we would have to do it on the day of an ER. So, once we feel 100% sure about using a donor, we will probably move on to IUI. I'm on CD2, so it's good timing for any testing they may have to do on me this cycle. So, it seems like we are making progress.

That being said, I am extremely nervous and excited.

 

[raelynn]

So I finally saw my doc for the morning ultrasounds and got the news. I'm triggering tonight! I can't believe it is finally here! My left ovary is still being 'lazy' but we're counting on the right to have at least a few good eggs. Doctor says we probably won't have a lot but hopefully they'll be good quality. We're waiting on a call to sort out some confusion around hubby's TESE date but otherwise I'm very excited (and of course nervous). ER is Friday

 

[deafgal01]

Good luck Rae! C'mon eggies- make us a baby for Rae! We want another azoo baby to be excited over!

Canadian- agreed... Hope you can agree 100% (and your man too) on the donor. Good luck with any testing that might occur this cycle.

 

[Deb111]

Great news Rae - good luck

 

[Deb111]

Well we're off to see Mr Ramsay again in 3 weeks. Hubby's mood has been so low again lately that I want to know whether, if in future we want to try for another baby and the frozen sperm doesn't survive, he would do another mTESE - I don't know whether it's possible or recommended but if it's a definite no, then we may as well start getting something sorted with the testosterone replacement.

I also made him go and see his GP yesterday who is getting his thyroid levels checked to see if his meds need altering and is doing a couple of other blood tests too.

I hate it when he goes through stages like this - I feel like I'm in this on my own again right now - he's so detached from me and our life in general when he's like this Hopefully this 'episode' wont last too long - I'm sure it doesn't help that he works early shifts so takes his thyoid meds at 2am on days he's working and about 9am on days he's not. I need to check if he could take them at night

I tried to make light of it the other night and told him that I have a new pregnancy symptom and that he'd better sleep with one eye open else I might jump on him! but he wont come near me and of course now he has the added excuse of it not feeling right when I'm pregnant

Bloody azoospermia still haunts you and rears it's ugly head even when things are going well I was thinking earlier ... I wonder how many pregnant women there are out there who haven't had for getting on for 2 years!?!?!

Apologies for the rant - I know that especially those of you dealing with hormone issues as part of this will understand

 

[Stinas]

raelynn - Thats great news!!!!! Good luck!!!!!

Canadian - Yay!! Im glad to see that you guys are moving along!! There are tons of humps in the road, but once you go over them it feels great!

Deb - Sorry DH is in a slump. I guess the men only fully understand what is going though their minds, just like only we get what we are going through with the whole azoo ordeal. It just sucks all around.
Im a horny ******* and want it all the time...so when this azoo crap came up, it killed it, but its getting back to normal now. You just need to smack DH around a little and tell him that you can have all the "poor me" moments you want, but only OUT of the bedroom. You need to be a tiger in the bedroom lol My DH got a kick out of it. hehe

 

[CanadianMaple]

Deb- I understand so much. I'm sorry you are going through this.

News for me. I start the BCP today and will be doing dIUI next month. I'm scared to death, but so excited. My LH was high but I'm not insulin dependent, so I need to do clomid 50mg and then do a trigger shot at cd13. I can't seem to find the perfect sperm donor though!

DH is really excited now. He needed to have a few questions answered about his own infertility and is ready to move on. He is still sad, but is happy to know we will have a baby.

 

[snd80]

to all my beautiful girls out here!!!

Sorry I have been awol, but I have had a LOT of crap I've been dealing with these past two weeks... just a quick rundown... had my new car only a week and a half and the county inmates were cutting grass where I park at work and messed up my paint on my front bumper and I have been fighting with EVERYONE'S insurance to try to get my shit fixed; the business I work for has decided to upgrade to a bigger place and risks loosing the business all together if it fails; went for a job interview yesterday just in case this job falls through; trying to get a will made cause my hubby hasn't been in good health lately with his dialysis... ugh! It has all been one big ordeal!!!

On a good/better note, u/s is set for the morning to see if my "good" side wants to play ball or not, and hopefully we will be going for round 2 Sat or Sun! Thank GOD my clinic does 7 days a week!!! So everyone say a little prayer for me tonight!!!!

And a big warm welcome to Brandy! We are all here for you!

And loads of good luck to all my other girls who are in the middle of their procedures!!! We are ALL due some good news dammit!!!

And Deb, I feel what you are saying..... my hubby says once I get pg, no more ! Really?! WTF does that have to do with it?! I'm lucky to even get any anymore as it is!!!

to everyone and I'll update you guys in the morning!!! Fingers, eyes, legs, toes crossed!!!!!

 

[deafgal01]

Good luck snd!

Deb- I can't even imagine having less sex, let alone none at all. That sucks. I hope he comes around soon and you can get some loving.

How's everyone else doing? I'm just trying to get my head into planning for after DH's biopsy as I will have to cook meals for us and everything. I don't even cook that much so I need to plan to make sure we have various options as opposed to like same two or three things in a row. I'll figure something out. No worries.

 

[MrsC8776]

raelynn~ Good luck tomorrow!!

Canadian~ I'm so glad you will be getting started soon. Thats great that your DH is excited. It's normal to be sad but still excited.

Deb~ Sorry things are tough right now.

snd~ I have my scan tomorrow too! Fx for you that everything looks good. Sorry to hear about your new car. Sounds like you have a lot going on. I hope things get better for you and your hubby soon.

 

[raelynn]

So my trigger went fine. I numbed with ice for a few minutes beforehand and I honestly didn't feel a thing. I was a huge baby though freaking out ahead of time because that needle looked giant!

ER is set for 9am tomorrow and now I'm worrying about the next needle...the IV. I wish I wasn't so afraid of needles because its turning me into a nervous wreck! The lab also never called today to tell us if hubby's samples from his previous TESE survived to defrost so now he has to assume he's going in for another TESE tomorrow until the doctors and the labs get things sorted out in the morning. He's also having it done at a location 1.5 hours away and I'll be at our normal location so his parents are coming up tonight to take him tomorrow and my dad will come tomorrow morning to take me. Could this be any more chaotic?

 

[deafgal01]

Oh wow Rae that is nuts! hope you survive tomorrow!

 

[SunUp]

Good luck Rae! I put in IV's all the time, in my opinion, they usually hurt less than the butterfly ones, because as soon as the needle is in the vein, the needle comes out and just the catheter is left. Although they do even use lidocaine to numb the IV site first.

SND- Good luck, fingers crossed!!!

Canadian - we will possibly be timed for IUI similarly. I am doing 2 weeks of birth control and then will start IUI cycle #3. Hopefully IUI will be end of July.

 

[raelynn]

Thanks! Hopefully they numb me up and I'm again freaking out about nothing.