Dealing with azoospermia?

[Deb111]

So, so sorry Rae Life is so unfair to give you this and then take it away. I hope the cruise gives you a well earned break and that you are able to work out where to go next.

Please know you're in my thoughts xx

 

[cbergs]

Well ladies. I love you all for all the support but I'm going to be taking a break now. HCG was back in the teens today so I'm miscarrying. I'm completely heartbroken. Didn't realize how much I already loved this little one. At least we have our cruise coming up to get us away from everything for a while. We're not sure what our next step will be...we have no frozen embryos and no frozen sperm left so not sure we can financially go down the IVF route again at least not anytime soon.

I'm so so so sorry Rae. This happened to a friend of mine and her very next try was her sticky baby. Please try to enjoy your cruise. You are in my prayers.

Love always, your azoo sister-
Carrie

 

[CanadianMaple]

I'm so sorry, Raelyn. I hope your vacation is both relaxing and healing.

 

[wibble wobble]

Well ladies. I love you all for all the support but I'm going to be taking a break now. HCG was back in the teens today so I'm miscarrying. I'm completely heartbroken. Didn't realize how much I already loved this little one. At least we have our cruise coming up to get us away from everything for a while. We're not sure what our next step will be...we have no frozen embryos and no frozen sperm left so not sure we can financially go down the IVF route again at least not anytime soon.

So sorry to read this, please know that I am thinking of you

 

[Deb111]

Well we're off to see the lovely Mr Ramsay today. We need some clarification as to whether he could ever do the mTESE again if necessary or if we should just go ahead and get Terry started on the TRT. It's nice to be going to one of these appts without being anxious!

 

[CanadianMaple]

I'm looking forward to hearing what he suggests Deb. We still need to deal with DH's low testosterone. His family doctor just tested his bio-available testosterone as well as regular testosterone to see how bad it really is. How does Terry feel about starting testosterone? DH is very nervous about it.

AFM- I think today is CD1!!! So, I think my baseline ultrasound is on Monday and then I go back at CD11 to see how many follicles I would have from the Clomid and then do the trigger. I'm not sure how I feel about multiples though.

 

[CanadianMaple]

I am so upset. My cycle was canceled and I took those awful BCPs for nothing for these past 3 weeks.

I called them with my CD1 today after taking the pill for 21 days like they had asked.

They finally called me back and it turns out they don't have all of our results in. So, I have to have AF for a week and then start the stupid BCP all over again for another 3 weeks.

That takes me to my first week of school for the IUI and I am unsure if I can miss that first week. Plus the 2ww is going to be during the most stressful time of the year.

I told her how frustrated we have been with the clinic. She spent a long time on the phone with me and went over everything. I am glad she was sympathetic.

They really know nothing about donor sperm there which is really frustrating. She and I butted heads about the sperm bank we chose, she didn't think they were Canadian complaint and I told her I got it from the list THEY gave me. She finally understood what I was saying and did see their name on the list on their info sheet.

She is going to see the head of the clinic tomorrow, it's his weekend to work, and will call me in the morning. I still can't believe this is happening.

 

[tigerlily1975]

Oh, Rae I'm truly, truly sorry for you When you've fought so hard to get this far, it's heart-breaking. I hope you and your DH manage to take some time to think, talk, cry and come to terms with this whilst you're on the cruise.

Sending you much love and many, many

C xx

 

[tigerlily1975]

Hello Deb

How did it go with the magical Mr Ramsay? Ah, an appointment with no anxiety... pray do tell what that's like?!

Oh my goodness, you're not far off 100 days to go!

I hope you're getting plenty of rest during the summer break.

More

C xx

 

[tigerlily1975]

Ah, no, CM I hope you get some answers from the head tomorrow so that you can put a plan in place and move on to the IUI.

We know we have a long road ahead of us, but we could do without the bumps!

Go and have a big glass of wine and honestly, those three weeks will FLY by!

More

C xx

 

[tigerlily1975]

Thank you for all the well wishes and I just wanted to pop in with a quick update.

Talked to my dr. yesterday... my only 2 options left to move forward more aggressive is: 1) IVF or 2) IUI with injections. So I told them I am taking off til about Sept or Oct to loose more weight and have a call in to see about IVF financing.

It has been a really hard past week and I have spent every morning crying. I am really loosing it! It is just so heartbreaking for me. IDK what else to do. Nikki is just not the same person anymore. I've been trying to do some biblical soul searching as well... and I've also started re-reading my book "Empty Womb, Aching Heart", which doesn't help with the crying.

Thanks again and I'll get back to "me" one day.

to each of you.

Aww, Nikki You're STILL Nikki, you're just dealing with a lot of sh*t at the moment, it's tough for anyone to keep bouncing back when it's one bad thing after another.

I'm sure the break will help, give you time to think about IVF and other options.

If you need us, you know where to find us.



C xx

 

[tigerlily1975]

Thanks tiger. I am good, yes, I test on friday, 14dpiui. Unless af gets here first of course. Not feeling too hopeful, I've had no real symptoms that confirm anything for me. Today I feel like af is on the way, just with the way I feel mentally, hormonal and tired. So not feeling 'pregnant' at all
I must say it is the longest 2ww I have ever had, so mentally draining. It sucks.

Tiger I presume you mean your injections start not infections. Hehe that made me laugh.
Good luck my hubby chickened out, giving my trigger, he got so nervous and I got so brave and just stabbed it in. Hehe.

Although, three days of INJECTIONS (I did it!) down, I wish they could produce it as some type of spread that I could slather onto a cracker and eat! Husband has been really good, I tried to do it the first day, but my hands were sweating so badly from nerves I'd have probably stabbed my foot!

Enough of me, how did testing go? I know you weren't feeling too positive, but I'm REALLY hoping you were wrong.

Big winging their way to you,

C xx

 

[Deb111]

Although, three days of INJECTIONS (I did it!) down, I wish they could produce it as some type of spread that I could slather onto a cracker and eat! Husband has been really good, I tried to do it the first day, but my hands were sweating so badly from nerves I'd have probably stabbed my foot!

C xx

Love it Tiger!!!

 

[Deb111]

Well I'm not going to go into details, but we had the most horrific journey down to the appt and Terry seems to think that travelling 130 miles and arriving at 11.27am for an 11.30 am appt is 'perfect timing'!!!!!

Anyway, after the day we're had, my BP was VERY high when we got home so I've just been and slept for an hour and all is normal again thank goodness!

So ... today's appt

Firstly, some great news is that, as things stand now, Terry's testosterone is at a level where it wouldn't be necessary for TRT. I think the lowest in the acceptable range is 8 and his is 8.3 Obviously it will need keeping an eye on, as it is likely to frop with age, as it does in all men, but there no risk to his health with a low level right now

CM - he doesn't really seem bothered about the TRT when the time comes, although a mate of him told him it can cause all sorts of problems and he shouldn't take it - I think he's talking more about people who abuse it - in terms of bodybuilders etc. I guess when the time comes we will research it more and who knows what will come out of the woodwork

Now in terms of a future mTESE. He says he needs to sit down and have a good chat with the embryologists about the quality of what they froze and how they feel about it's viability. The possible options being:
- They feel it's good stuff and would be happy to do another cycle thawing it and only having the mTESE as a back-up
- They would rather use fresh sperm from another hopefully successful mTESE, but are happy to try to use the frozen sperm as a back-up
- They feel the frozen sperm is useless and would only use fresh sperm from another mTESE (which I hope isn't the answer they come back with, else why have they charged us over £900 to freeze it?!!?

Now in option 1 or 2 above, he would happily go ahead and says the blood test results don't suggest a concern over doing it again. However, if it ended up being option 3, he would feel he had to go in really agressively and severely excavate the testes, rather than just see what he could easily get, he would not be happy to do it as it would mean removing a lot of tissue and this would have a big impact on his testosterone production level and his health.

So he's going to speak to the emryologist at the beg of Sept when he's next there and we will go from there. Obviously there's no rush right now. the only reason for going to see hom at this stage was to see if we were wasting time getting him onto the TRT.

Another thing that surprised us was that even he was AMAZED that Terry didn't need so much as a paracetamol after the last procedure. He said considering what he did, he was absolutely astounded!

Anyway, it was a lovely appt - I'd emailed him to tell him we'd been successful with the ICSI, but he was still totally delighted for us and kept sitting back in his chair saying "WOW 25 weeks! - incredible". He's made us promise to send photos although we will probably pop in and see him with the baby as Terry's cousin only lives about 20 mins away from the clinic.

Oh and he also said he should pay me to sit in his waiting room with a big smile on face, looking nice and pregnant to encourage his other patients! I told him I'm all for that as it could pay for our next cycle!!!

Oh and something funny that happened - we drive 130 miles away. walk into the clinic and are greeted by a brochure on the wall for cosmetic surgery with a picture of our PE teacher at school on the front!!!! Not that he's had any surgery done, but he's done a lot of modelling on the past and his pictures get on all sorts of things - very bizarre to walk in and see that!

Sorry for the essay!

 

[Stinas]

Hi ladies!!! Hope all is well with everyone!!
I just got back from the Bahamas. Our trip was AMAZING as always...of course it went by wayyyyy too fast, but back to reality. I take my last BCP tom and I go in on wed for bloodwork...which is also when I will be picking up my stim meds. So im guessing wed or thurs I will start my stims. Scared, but cant wait to get this show on the road.

StepMummy - CONGRATS!!!

Tiger - Looks like we are a week apart! I hope you breeze through these meds...dont piss dh off lol Let me know how they are! Everyone says they get scared for nothing...they usually breeze through them.

snd -

raelynn - Im sooo sorry!

Deb - God bless your dh for wanting to do another mtese...dh said there is no way in hell he will let another doc touch them lol I dont blame him either. Glad to see his apt went well!!! Yay!

CM - Im sorry you went through all those stupid BCPs for nothing!! That just stinks! I hope you get your answers soon!

Im tired...I hope I got everyone..if not...I hope everyone is doing well!! Lots of

 

[SunUp]

Big hugs to SND and Rae...I am so sorry

CM, that is so awful.

 

[Deb111]

CM -How frustrating!! I'm so sorry. I hope you're doing ok and get some answers xx

 

[WANBMUM]

Thanks tiger. I am good, yes, I test on friday, 14dpiui. Unless af gets here first of course. Not feeling too hopeful, I've had no real symptoms that confirm anything for me. Today I feel like af is on the way, just with the way I feel mentally, hormonal and tired. So not feeling 'pregnant' at all
I must say it is the longest 2ww I have ever had, so mentally draining. It sucks.

Tiger I presume you mean your injections start not infections. Hehe that made me laugh.
Good luck my hubby chickened out, giving my trigger, he got so nervous and I got so brave and just stabbed it in. Hehe.

Although, three days of INJECTIONS (I did it!) down, I wish they could produce it as some type of spread that I could slather onto a cracker and eat! Husband has been really good, I tried to do it the first day, but my hands were sweating so badly from nerves I'd have probably stabbed my foot!

Enough of me, how did testing go? I know you weren't feeling too positive, but I'm REALLY hoping you were wrong.

Big winging their way to you,

C xx

Thanks tiger but it was a negative followed by af
So it's onto IUI number 2.
I have been ok, my poor hubby was disappointed, he feels responsible for our heartache and just wishes we could have some 'luck' in our lives.
But it will happen, I know it will because we won't give up. Even if we have to sell our clothes on our back to fund it. Hehe.

 

[Stinas]

WANBMUM - My dh seems to think the same right now...but Your right!!...we will do anything for it to happen and it will!!

 

[CanadianMaple]

I hope everyone is doing okay.

My clinic gave me a new timeline. I start the pill 2 days early (tomorrow) and take them only for 19 days. I call on Aug 3 to make sure my file is complete. My last pill is on Aug 11 and then I do the IUI if all looks good the weekend before school starts. I'm still mad that they didn't tell me the results usually take 4 weeks to come in when I was only on the pill for 3 weeks. But, I just hope we get our baby. It will be one we are supposed to get. Maybe this cycle would have been a bust or we needed more time to process using a donor? Who knows.