Dealing with azoospermia?

[MBABY2014]

Olive stay strong!!!

Bub- sorry about TESE- 2 straws ste better than none! Sounds positive in terms of fertilization! Stay hopeful! Sending positive vibes your way!!


Is anyone else still stimming? I'm thinking possible ER on Monday- thst would be 13 days of stimming! Ohy! Lol

Sharron- thanks for the well wishes!!

 

[MBABY2014]

Deafl- it is a lot!! Thank for the encourament!!


And of course Rhedla- your the best!

 

[arzoo]

I know this might sound really silly but I dont know where else to turn to . I need your creative thinking to help me solve a small dilemma that I have.

I have not till date told my parents about DH azoo diagnosis. What I have told them is that I am having some issues which doctor is still trying to investigate and find out. But now since we are going ahead with IVF in March, I want to tell her that we are going for IVF, but I dont want to tell her what the true cause for the IVF is. Has anyone else faced similar situation and how did you resolve it. Just telling mom that we are going for IVF without giving reason for the cause wont go down well.So i have to give her some reason, but what reason ?

 

[MoBaby]

I haven't told my mom anything! She thinks this baby was conceived naturally.. What is funny Is she said I was wondering when you were going to get pg.. I was starting to think your husband couldn't get you pregnant (which is an awful thing to say and an assumption which is why I don't give her more info)... Anyways you could just say the drs aren't sure why it's not working naturally but you need ivf. I'm not good coming up with reasons other than that

 

[Olive333]

My mom also made the comment that it might be my husband. I have a very close relationship with my mom and at first I told her we had decided not to say what the problem was. I have always been open with her, so she knew that if I had issues I would discuss them. She put 2 and 2 together and at the end I did tell her, after discussing with my husband.

Today is 9 dpiui and I know its too early to test, but did it anyway to see if the ovidrel shot had left my system. Well the good news is the shot is no longer in my system, the bad news is that is was a BFN. At least I now know that if I get a second line it's not going to be because of the shot.

 

[Mikihob]

I know this might sound really silly but I dont know where else to turn to . I need your creative thinking to help me solve a small dilemma that I have.

I have not till date told my parents about DH azoo diagnosis. What I have told them is that I am having some issues which doctor is still trying to investigate and find out. But now since we are going ahead with IVF in March, I want to tell her that we are going for IVF, but I dont want to tell her what the true cause for the IVF is. Has anyone else faced similar situation and how did you resolve it. Just telling mom that we are going for IVF without giving reason for the cause wont go down well.So i have to give her some reason, but what reason ?

Arzoo that's a tough spot. You could tell her that the doctor hasn't been able to figure out the exact cause and they suggested IVF as a way to bypass the problems. If she asks questions, explain how the procedure works and don't state anything specific about DH or the sperm collection. At least she will know you are having IVF and that she might get a grandbaby (or two) out of it. I think that should work, but I don't know if your mom is pushy for info or not. That's what I would do.

Hope this helps.

 

[bubumaci]

Hmmm, difficult one! We have been entirely open about the situation with everyone. For me, personally, being open is always the best option - we get full support and don't get the weird questions (like Mo - about DH not being able to get pregnant etc.) except perhaps trying to understand, how the whole treatment works.

I suppose the easiest thing to say would be, that the doctors can't find a reason for the infertility (i.e. why you aren't getting pregnant naturally) and are confident that IVF will end up in giving you your bring home baby

 

[Hopeful Cat]

I have been very open with our infertility to our families. They are very supportive and ive needed that help. Like right now im sitting in hospital waiting to go in for egg collection and hubby is about to go in for mtese....I needdd my sister to pick us both up because we will both have been under anaesthetic.

My parents have also supported us financially with our first cycles.

Its completely your choice arzoo...u could say its technical or they dont know or you may tell her in time. Whatever is the least stress for u and dh. This is difficult so I always go for what is going to cause me least stress and worry.

 

[gem10]

Bubmaci and Hopeful Cat, I am hoping all goes well for you!!!

Arzoo, I agree with Bubumaci, you can say it is unexplained and IVF is your next step. Many people do have unexplained fertility so it isnt that far off.

We had our follow ups yesterday. My RE says everything on.my end for the cycle was perfect, and I did everything I should have. So it really is due to DH poor quality sperm. He said we can try again, but obviously we would be more successful with donor.

Urologist told DH he can do surgery as many times as he wants. Next time would be less aggressive and less painful, hopefully, with a smaller incision. He also wants to test his blood and do another SA to see if vitamins and chlomid have changed anything.

We talk to another Dr Sat, a Chinese herbalist/accupuncturist,/fertility specialist to see if there may be something DH can do using Chinese medicine to help. I will let you all know how that works out!

Ultimately, if we do Tese again we have to wait at least 6 months. If we do donor, we.can do IUI right away. DH is willing to do whatever I want to do. Now if only I knew the answer to that question: (

 

[Miraclbaby]

Hi ladies, hope u don't mind if I join this group. We are ivf candidates. Every SA came out with zero sperm. mTese is scheduled for May/ June 2014. Hope there are success stories out there.

Baby dust to all of u

 

[Stinas]

arzoo - Why do you not want to tell her the real reason why you are doing IVF? Just curious. I told my mom when I found out about DH's azoo….i just broke down. It took some time for her to understand what exactly it is, but she was open and fully understanding about it. I know not everyone is the same though.
You could always tell her its "unexplained" or its both of us type of deal. Im sure she will just ask you a bunch of IVF questions and you won't have to go into detail as to why you have to do it.

Olive - Its still super early! You have time!

Mo - I have actually had someone say to my face…."what are you guys waiting for…..what is he shooting blanks?" People are just weird.

BUBU - DH and I have been pretty open about it to most people. I just ignore the ones that like to make other peoples lives their gossip. Those are the morons i like to keep them wondering. They are so stupid they ask questions like "oh twins must run on his side" lol Little do they know, it needs to be on the woman's side, not the males.(correct me if I'm wrong, but thats what I have read)

Gem - Its a hard thing to have to decide upon. Give yourself time to think about going ahead with DIUI…..meanwhile, DH can take whatever pills.

Miraclbaby - Welcome! You have found an amazing thread with amazing people! I hate to see new people here, breaks my heart. Don't worry, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, it just takes time to figure out what direction you need to take to get there.

 

[arzoo]

Welcome miraclbaby.though it is sad to see new people join.

I wish I could be open as you suggested hopefulcat , stinas and bubumci.

It took a lot of weight off our chests when I shared the news with my sister. but with parents I am hesitating, they re old and not in great heath. and I know how hurt they will be on knowing the struggle we are going through. Besides they are no longer living in the same country as us, so other than causing then pain, I dont see much point in sharing.And, it has taken a long time for my family to full accept DH and now this, I really dont want to spoil the good relation my DH has put a lot of effort to biuld. Maybe my fears are mis placed. Also if all our efforts fail, and we are forced down the donor route then I want as few people knowing about it.maybe I m just adding things to complicate my life.

Olive, Good luck.
I am also very close to my mother and if I hesitate to tell her the reason, she will see through me and know that DH has some issues.

Gem.All the best, these decisions are not easy. hope you are able to come to a decision soon on what you want to do next.


Thank you all for your advice and suggestions.

 

[gem10]

Arzoo, I understand your hesitation. DH told me about his azoo on, I think, our third date! He basically said, I may not be able to have kids, so if you want to leave now, I understand. It totally broke my heart. First, that he has dealt with this since he was achild and feels that no one would stay with him. Second, I always wanted kids, and I literally was in love with him at first sight. I told myself, God wouldnt bring me the love of my life without a way to have kids. We will figure it out when we get there.

Anyway, I never told my family. I feared that my mom would say, leave him now, you want kids. Or that my family would look at him differently. It wasnt until this summer, seven years later, that I finally told her. She was amazing! She has been very supportive, and has even said, you guys can have an amazing life without kids. I never expected her to say that. So I do understand your hesitation. You never know how people will respond. I havent spoken to my dad in a few years, but I know I will never tell him.

I do think it may be a weight off your chest if you at least tell them about the IVF. This is a tough process and it helps to get support from wherever you can. If you feel they may have a negative response, then theres no need to make matters worse.

Welcome to the newbie!! While I am sad you are in this situation, these women have been my saving grace, and we will help you through this.

 

[gem10]

Olive, stay strong and keep away from the tests! I know its hard, but it just adds stress. Its too early to test, you are very much still in the game! Hugs to you, the 2ww sucks!!!!

 

[Olive333]

Thanks to all and welcome miraclbaby. Like everyone else said, its sad we get someone new, but it is nice to meet others with similar issues.

I will be with my inlaws this weekend so I will not test until I was supposed to on 14 dpiui. This wait is killing me.

 

[Miraclbaby]

Thank u girls.
So far i m trying to stay strong. But its hard for all of us to deal with this matter. The wait kills me. I am so impatient. 3 months until we start with our ivf cycle.

Here a few information about me and my hubby. Hope there is someone out there who can guide me

I am 25- no issues

Hubby 33- NOA, hypogonadism
3/2009 testis biopsy- no sperm, but leydig cells are present
My husband got divorced. It didnt work out with his ex wife.
9/2012 We started TTC
12/2012 SA-zero sperm
3/2013 started clomid
7/2013 zero sperm, but testosterone on normal level now
9/2013 left testis varicocelectomy
12/2013 SA-zero sperm
02/2014 phone consultation with Dr. Peter Schlegel. He gave us 50% chance

I had a phone consultation with the IVF center in New York too. We will probably start in May. Is there someone with similar Diagnose??

P.S. Hope u dont mind grammar mistakes I just started learning English.

 

[Mikihob]

Bubmaci and Hopeful Cat, I am hoping all goes well for you!!!

Arzoo, I agree with Bubumaci, you can say it is unexplained and IVF is your next step. Many people do have unexplained fertility so it isnt that far off.

We had our follow ups yesterday. My RE says everything on.my end for the cycle was perfect, and I did everything I should have. So it really is due to DH poor quality sperm. He said we can try again, but obviously we would be more successful with donor.

Urologist told DH he can do surgery as many times as he wants. Next time would be less aggressive and less painful, hopefully, with a smaller incision. He also wants to test his blood and do another SA to see if vitamins and chlomid have changed anything.

We talk to another Dr Sat, a Chinese herbalist/accupuncturist,/fertility specialist to see if there may be something DH can do using Chinese medicine to help. I will let you all know how that works out!

Ultimately, if we do Tese again we have to wait at least 6 months. If we do donor, we can do IUI right away. DH is willing to do whatever I want to do. Now if only I knew the answer to that question: (

I am glad that it turned out you were doing great without problems. I am sorry to hear that your DH's sperm is problematic. Would you consider going forward with the DIUI and then still having him do the tese?? My DH mentioned if his SA comes back zero again he wants to go ahead and look for the donor and do DIUI. After that if he has sperm we can freeze it for IUI or IVF later. This way we can have a baby sooner and might still have a chance at a baby with his sperm too. I don't know if your DH would be willing to do that or not. You should check out Fairfax Cryobank. You can upload a pic into their website and they can match donor to DH's facial features, plus they have people you can call and discuss the photo's to get a professional opinion on if they would match or not. I think the web address is fairfaxcryobank.com.

Good luck in your decision making. Its not an easy decision to move into donor sperm.

 

[sharon99]

Arzoo, it is such a hard decision to tell or not tell. It sounds like you have the best interests of your parents at heart. It was so hard for me to tell my parents, even though they love DH. I hardly ever cry in front of my mom, but boy, did I cry that day! In the end I think it's brought us closer together, since I was able to open up to her. But, I don't tell everyone- I guess I base it on if they need to know, and what I think their reaction would be. Although I must say, I've been pleasantly surprised that everyone has been very supportive. I agree with everyone else, though- Unexplained infertility is SUCH a common diagnosis. I have friends going through IVF now for unexplained, so I think that will be a convenient catch-all.

Olive, only a few days to go!! I agree, you're still very early. Hopefully the in-laws will be a good distraction- I do so much better during the TWW with distractions!

Gem, it's a tough decision, and it took us a long time to reach it. Lots of talks, then time to think, then more talks. As I mentioned earlier, going to see an infertility therapist was really helpful for us. Or there may be support groups in your area- RESOLVE has a lot of chapters in the US.

Miraclbaby, welcome, but sorry that you're here. Your English is great! I started taking some online Spanish courses and it's really difficult- I admire people who speak a second language fluently.

 

[Olive333]

Sharon - how many days post iui did you get your positive? I still think I will test until Monday, but the wait is so difficult.

 

[sharon99]

I actually waited until 15dpiui... but my LP is 11, 12 days MAX, so I was already a few days late by then. I never liked to test early, though- I preferred AF to BFNs. Hugs!!!