Dealing with azoospermia?

[Pamplemousse]

Good luck for tomorrow Wibble Wobble!!


MissAma, just read some of your journals. Your story gives me so much hope!! And Dara is beautiful!!!

 

[MissAma]

Thank you very much, you're very kind! I'm glad my story helps, Dara even helps give me hope now that I'm on the ICSI road again. We can get this no-sperm beaten, girls!

 

[Deb111]

Will be thinking of you and dh wibble wobble - keeping everything crossed for you

Sar - glad it's all going well with the stims.

SB - so excited your appt is here - good luck tomorrow - I know it's just a formality but hope you get a realistic picture of timescales involved

AFM, I start sniffing thursday morning and have my injection training and mock transfer Thurs am too

Hope everyone else is doing ok xx

 

[Pamplemousse]

Hi Deb111,

I see you start sniffing tomorrow. Good luck with it all!! I realy hope this is the start of your happy ending!

We have another 3-4 weeks of waiting for DH blood tests results. Hopefully our FS appointment will not be too long after the results come.

We are seriously thinking of buying our first house next year, but worried about investing so much money in a house. My concern is that we may need/want to go private for some stuff and buying a house may mean a little less in the rainy day jar! Aghhhh.. what to do!

 

[silverbell]

I have been thinking of wibble wobble and her hubby all day. I hope it's good news.

As for me, saw Mr R today. DH listed for mTESE and will likely be done in January.

Unfortunately we have a very low chance of success. We have a 5% chance of getting useable sperm at biopsy

 

[Deb111]

Sorry to hear that SB - what has he based that on? The K. syndrome? 5% is still 5% though and I have everything crossed for you

Thanks pamplemousse - hope your results come through asap xx

 

[Pamplemousse]

Hi Silverbell!

Good luck for January. Keep positive!! I echo what Deb111 says, do you know what the 5% is based on?

In the mean time I too will have everything crossed for you.

 

[silverbell]

Yes it's purely based on the Klinefelter's Syndrome.

Thanks both

Have been thinking of wibble today and hoping she and her husband are ok.

 

[KB38]

Hi everyone, just been trawling back through everyone's posts. I didn't realise how long it'd been since I'd been on here!

I've been having such a hard time lately, I really thought that by now (three months after DH's diagnosis) I'd be coming to terms with it a bit better than I am. It just doesn't seem to get any better

Glad to see everyone's positive news. I'm sorry to hear about your appointment Silverbell, definitely not the news you were hoping for

 

[silverbell]

I've been having such a hard time lately, I really thought that by now (three months after DH's diagnosis) I'd be coming to terms with it a bit better than I am. It just doesn't seem to get any better

I'm so sorry, KB. I'm 2 days away from 4 months since diagnosis and I am still a bit 'all over the place' at times. I found counselling helped me a great deal and made me look at how I was coping and what exactly it was that was making me feel like I was going to fall apart. Is this something you might consider? I was a bit skeptical at first, but I'm so glad I went. It honestly really helped me and I only needed 2 sessions to start making sense of all my emotions.

I read that an azoo diagnosis or any diagnosis of severe infertility causes emotions that almost exactly match those after the death of a loved one. You are going through a strong mix of grief and loss and everything you're feeling is entirely normal. I wish I could tell you how long it will last and I honestly thought I'd be much better about things right now, but it just doesn't appear to work that way, at least not for all of us.

Sending you huge bucketloads of

 

[Pamplemousse]

KB38 and Silverbell: I am 2 and bit weeks from diagnosis. On the whole I think I am coping, but then I get the odd day where I just want to cry. I have done the 'why me, why us', I have done angry and I have done despair.

I have had immense support from my mum who really helped. You see my older brother has Down's Syndrome, not diagnosed pre-birth. My mum explained that she went through a mourning period for the 'healthy' child she never had and told me that I had every right to mourn the fact that I will probably only conceive a child once many more hoops have been lept through. The fact that some one told me it was ok to grieve helped so much.

I think what I am trying to say is that we are all going through loss and mourning process and it may be a few steps forwards and then a few steps back.

We all need to be extra gentle on our selves. I hope this helps in some way. One way or anothe we will get there, just maybe in a different way to how we imagined!

 

[wibble wobble]

I have been thinking of wibble wobble and her hubby all day. I hope it's good news.

As for me, saw Mr R today. DH listed for mTESE and will likely be done in January.

Unfortunately we have a very low chance of success. We have a 5% chance of getting useable sperm at biopsy

5% is sometimes all you need keep positive

 

[silverbell]

KB38 and Silverbell: I am 2 and bit weeks from diagnosis. On the whole I think I am coping, but then I get the odd day where I just want to cry. I have done the 'why me, why us', I have done angry and I have done despair.

I have had immense support from my mum who really helped. You see my older brother has Down's Syndrome, not diagnosed pre-birth. My mum explained that she went through a mourning period for the 'healthy' child she never had and told me that I had every right to mourn the fact that I will probably only conceive a child once many more hoops have been lept through. The fact that some one told me it was ok to grieve helped so much.

I think what I am trying to say is that we are all going through loss and mourning process and it may be a few steps forwards and then a few steps back.

We all need to be extra gentle on our selves. I hope this helps in some way. One way or anothe we will get there, just maybe in a different way to how we imagined!

Great post Thanks for this and for making me feel less daft. It's such a difficult time and sometimes I think 'there are far worse things that could have happened', but at other times I feel like my world is falling apart and I should just give up It's nice to know we're not all alone in this.

Thanks WW. I can't believe you've got to wait until Monday for your results. I hope the weekend zooms by for you both and that you get a great result come Monday.

 

[Deb111]

So, I survived

Had the mock transfer and coped. He put on his report "no problems. patient tolerated procedure well." He's faxed the nurses at the Lister to tell them exactly which type of speculum and catheter he used. Didn't even feel the catheter going in - don't know if that's normal or not? Yes, the procedure was uncomfortable and when they clean the cervix it's a horrible sensation, but he didn't have to stop at all and I can't see that it took any longer than it would have for anyone. I'm very chuffed. Went in on my own and had a lovely nurse (not the one I'd expected) holding my hand and she was amazed how well I did too.

Then we had injection training - all seems ok - just got to double check the amount of liquid the Lister want me to mix with the 5 powders. Got my sharps box and needles and did an 'empty' injection. Once I'd plucked up the courage to just stick it in, I was fine. I guess I was just worried about how hard to do it etc.

Done my 2 lots of sniffing today - no problems so far. No headaches (not sure if it's early days ). Keep thinking I'm having hot flushes and then realise - no!! It's just bloomin' hot!!!!

 

[Bookworm]

Done my 2 lots of sniffing today - no problems so far. No headaches (not sure if it's early days ). Keep thinking I'm having hot flushes and then realise - no!! It's just bloomin' hot!!!!

that made me giggle! Delighted to hear it went well!!

Good to hear some good news too, like KB & Silverbell I have to admit that even months on from the initial diagnosis I still have very bad days. I do feel very angry at times. TTC is meant to be this wonderful, exciting tme, but for us it's very painful, scary, humiliating and invasive at times - now, I do understand that it will all be worth it in the end and I would never give up, but I don't feel that I'll ever reach a point where I'll be truely ok with all of this....
Please don't take this the wrong way girls - it's not that I want you to feel bad, but it is a bit of a relief to know that sometimes you do - I've not even been able to come near this site for more than a month because I was feeling so down about it all.... Sometimes it seems that everyone else copes so well and manages to stay so positive, i thought it was just me dwelling too much. Much better now though.

But like SB said we will all get there, it's just a slightly longer road, and it will make the reward at the end all the sweeter.

 

[Deb111]

Bookworm - you are very definitely NOT alone in how you are feeling. I've made no secret of the fact that I will never be 'ok' with what we're having to go through, although of course it will be worth it

Have you seen my video journal (link on page 1 of this thread) - it will def make you realise you're not alone with how you feel xx

 

[Deb111]

Pamplemousse - don't be too hard on yourself. 2 and a half weeks from diagnosis is no time at all

 

[Pamplemousse]

Hi Bookworm,

You have taken the words right out of my mouth!! It is a rather pants situation to say the very least! And lets face it UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

Not one of us should feel bad about having down days!

Deb111: Well done with day one!

 

[silverbell]

Please don't take this the wrong way girls - it's not that I want you to feel bad, but it is a bit of a relief to know that sometimes you do - I've not even been able to come near this site for more than a month because I was feeling so down about it all.... Sometimes it seems that everyone else copes so well and manages to stay so positive, i thought it was just me dwelling too much. Much better now though.

But like SB said we will all get there, it's just a slightly longer road, and it will make the reward at the end all the sweeter.

You're most definitely NOT alone. I don't think any one of us on this thread is 'OK' with what we've had to go through or what we're going through. It's an absolutely devastating thing to deal with and whatever the result it still doesn't take away the fact that it was never easy and was an incredibly emotionally upsetting time.

Sending you lots of

 

[wibble wobble]

Hi all

I thought I was doing ok on the azoo diagnosis front, shed a few tears the day the gp gave us the sa results,but then after that nothing.... well until after we got home from hubby having his TESE the other day. Think I realised then that everything that can be done now has it's like it's the end of chapter 1 looming and we're powerless to change the outcome. I just hope we did enough with lifestyle changes to make a difference to what could be in those samples they took.

Deb111 hope the injections go well