December 2013 Rainbow Babies

[elleff]

My 20 week scan is tomorrow morning, I can't even sit still I'm dreading it. And ridiculously excited about it! I don't know whether to sit here crying preparing myself for something terrible or to dance around as I never ever thought I'd carry to this stage!

I hope everyone is ok, dairy I've been thinking about you xo

 

[Olivette]

elleff: I'll be thinking about you tomorrow! I understand what you mean completely. I'm not sure whether to be excited about my 20 week scan or completely dread it. I've felt the same way with every scan I've had. Excited as the scan approaches then completely petrified the days before. It will be great for you to see your little one again!

Ox

P.S Still thinking about you Dairy, x

 

[Kirs_t]

I know what you mean Olivette!! I'm the same- excitement mixed with terror. We actually bought a cot and a pram on the weekend. It was a spontaneous decision to go to the baby shop when we didn't have much on Saturday arvo! I'm so excited about the purchases but since then my anxiety has been through the roof, worrying about our scan on Wednesday and everything going wrong! I guess the worry never ends.

Can't wait to hear all about your scan and see pics tomorrow elleff! Xxx

 

[elleff]

Thanks ladies! Well I managed to get some sleep last night and was....ok this morning. We didn't have to wait too long before we were seen thankfully!
Was just so amazing to see the little bubba on the screen, looking so much bigger than last time! The scan took ages which was fine by us! I never knew they checked so much stuff! She struggled to get the measurements for the heart so kept jiggling my belly around, even made me jump up and down but baby wouldn't budge! Chin right down on chest, legs curled up in a ball! Just not cooperating! Eventually I had to go for a walk, drink and eat some chocolate! Came back and still not much clearer but she managed to get everything she needed eventually! So we ticked all the boxes and everything looks pretty perfect! I just can't believe it!

 

[SugarBeth]

We found out on Saturday that we're having a little boy! We just had a gender and name reveal party yesterday, it was a lot of fun! We're going to call him Will. Now we'll have one of each gender plus our little girly angel. It's really starting to feel so real now!!!

Have my anatomy ultrasound next Monday, but after seeing him on Saturday, I feel much less nervous about it.

 

[Olivette]

Absolutely fantastic news Elleff. I'm so happy for you that it went so well. What a relief that must be! So cute that bubba was quite happily not budging. Great news she managed to get the measurements she needed in the end!

Congratulations SugarBeth on your little man! The gender and name reveal party sounds lots of fun! We found earlier in the week that we're expecting a girl. I was so sure it would be a boy, so a girly really surprised us.

Ox

 

[SugarBeth]

Thank you! I'm still so surprised it's a boy, though I'm not sure why. I think I just assumed, since we have a girl and our angel was a girl, that this would just also be a girl because it's what I'm used to. A boy is SO new and different! I'm still not used to the idea, even though I love it. I keep thinking about this little boy and trying to realize that we're actually going to have him soon!

As someone who's been stuck in the world of pink and princess, it'll definitely be a fun adjustment to have balance!

 

[elleff]

We are pink too not telling anyone though

 

[Kirs_t]

Elleff and Olivette! Congrats on your little girls!!

And sugar Beth- congrats on a precious little boy!

Brilliant news all round ladies xxx

 

[Kirs_t]

Hi girls- our scan went really well today! Bubs is measuring 4 days ahead and was moving around so much! It was a 4d scan and we got some great pics. Our gender reveal is on Sunday and we won't know if we are team pink or blue until then! We had the scan lady staple the envelope closed!

 

[elleff]

Ah so pleased for you! I reckon you're pink too! Wee asked for the envelope too but she wouldn't do it. It's a long story as to how we ended up finding out! I'll try and type it up when I get to work.
So glad everything was ok on the scan though, are you posting any pictures? I am half way today I can't believe it! My little bean is now 10.5 inches! That's huge!

 

[Olivette]

Elleff can't believe your half way! So exciting! Time really has flown by it's absolutely crazy! 10.5 inches seems really long!

Kirs_t Congratulations on a great scan! I bet you can't wait to find out the sex now! .

Ox

 

[elleff]

It does, thats from head to toe though so I think she would actually look a lot smaller than that all scrunched up! 4 weeks until she's viable outside of me!! The thought makes me panic that I havent really bought very much!!

So...when we went in for our scan we said we didn't want to know the sex. When she couldn't measure the heart properly and we had to go for a walk I said to my husband, are you sure you still don't want to know? and he said he totally knew the sex already as he had seen! And I said I had too, as when she was measuring the pelvis, there were quite clearly 3 things that looked like boy parts!! So we agreed we might aswell get the sonographer to confirm since we were already 99% sure!
So when we went back in, she finished scanning me and then asked again if we definitely didn't want to know. I told her I thought we knew, and she asked how and what we thought it was. I told her and she said she hadn't noticed anything obvious! So now we were really confused, as we both thought what we saw was really clearly boy bits!! So she said she would check.
Anyway, she's scanning between the legs and said 'I don't know what you guys think you saw but there is definitely nothing there!' we were gob smacked!!! So we have been laughing ever since as the only reason we know this is a girl is because we were so convinced she had a penis!! I was even saying to my husband while we walked around that the baby looked very well endowed! haha! The lady thought maybe we saw the chord or something, that would explain the size!!

 

[elleff]

Here's the scan pic of my naughty upside down baby! It's not quite the picture I'd hoped for at my 20 week scan but I still love it anyway! you can see her long leg bent in front of her
Also my bump at 19+5!

 

[elleff]

I've just realised, the day my baby is viable is August 14th. This is due date I had for my angel. Talk about bitter sweet. I keep finding myself getting emotional over my lost baby lately, I feel guilty about how much I love my bean and I feel like I have to close my eyes and concentrate on the pain of my mc so that i can reconnect with that baby.
I'm blaming a lot of this on my current pregnancy hormones!!!!

 

[Olivette]

Elleff

I feel I want to say 'I'm so sorry your feeling this way and going through these emotions', and I am definitely that you are feeling the way you are, but I feel really positively about your current journey. I sometimes feel 'Im so sorry' doesn't really cover it and try to think about my own situation, where, in the end I had to conclude that it all happened for a reason and I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for what happened, and I don't really want people to feel sorry for me. Does that make sense?

I think guilt is a completely OK emotion. I too have had previous moments of feeling really guilty for feeling so good about our rainbow baby. My last due date was my birthday, and that was really hard.

I'm sorry if known of that made sense! .

Ox

 

[SugarBeth]

Elleff, what a funny story about finding out the gender!

I understand the guilt feeling. My due date for our angel is this Sunday. I've been trying to mentally prepare for it, but it's hard and it's hitting me every day. It's so difficult, to feel so sad about not having her with us and not being able to bring her home this weekend like we should have been able to, while feeling our baby boy kicking and being so grateful for him, who wouldn't have existed had Elizabeth made it.

Even though they're two different babies, they're very connected to me. This one could not have existed without having lost Elizabeth. My emotions go crazy over that fact. I love this baby so much, but hurt that he's only here because we lost our little girl. I feel like it's going to be a really rough weekend, with having my grieving emotions combined with my pregnancy hormones. I think it would have been much worse if I wasn't pregnant though, because before this rainbow, I felt so empty and void and hopeless, and this baby fixed all of that. But still...there's emotional downsides as well.

 

[dairymomma]

Ooooh, I'm getting so jealous of you ladies who are getting bumps and feeling movement...I'm dealing with the absolute worst case of baby brain I've EVER had and I'm just dying to get pg again but it'll have to wait. Probably wouldn't happen right away anyway as I've always had at least 3 months between pregnancies and it was 8 months this last time but I'm so anxious to be pg again...Yet, I know I'm going to absolutely FREAK OUT until 20 weeks, especially if I have another hematoma...So I really don't want to be pg again yet. It makes for a very odd feeling to say the least. Meet with the specialist in 3 weeks or so to discuss future testing/treatment and I have a list of things to bring up with him. Just want the next few months to go by quick so we can get the hysteroscopy done and set a 'for sure' treatment plan up.

 

[Kirs_t]

Hi girls- just popping in. We had our gender reveal and are team pink! So exciting xxx

 

[Kirs_t]

Sugar Beth- hope you're doing ok today on your angels anniversary xxx thinking of you