December Snowflakes 2015! Come join me 74 ladies, 10 angels, two sets of twins!

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Mummy2o I am so sorry to hear of your loss :( ! Thinking about you & yours at this difficult time ! Lots of love and hugs ur way Hun xxx
 
Aw mummy2o I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending big hugs and thinking of you and your family xx
 
So sorry, Mummy2o. Sending you peace and love.

AFM, I am having a meltdown at the moment. My MIL has been slightly insistent about coming to our next ultrasound since we told her about our pregnancy 8 weeks ago. Since I was only 15/16 years old during my last pregnancy and placed my son for adoption, I really didn't get to enjoy that time at all, and there was always someone in my business. That being said, I really want the chance to make everything special for just me and DH. I had asked him to explain this to her, but either he didn't or she's just being pushy and asked me again this morning. I jumped on him about it because I was upset about having to deal with it. I finally just responded to her and explained that we just wanted our regular appointments to ourselves, but we would be happy to schedule a 3D appointment that she could come along to. Apparently he must have said something to her as well because she replied with, "I won't ask any more."

I just feel guilty and upset and sick now! I know she is taking it personally, but I also don't feel like I should have to budge on this. I just wish it didn't bother me so much.
 
blinker86 said:
So sorry, Mummy2o. Sending you peace and love.

AFM, I am having a meltdown at the moment. My MIL has been slightly insistent about coming to our next ultrasound since we told her about our pregnancy 8 weeks ago. Since I was only 15/16 years old during my last pregnancy and placed my son for adoption, I really didn't get to enjoy that time at all, and there was always someone in my business. That being said, I really want the chance to make everything special for just me and DH. I had asked him to explain this to her, but either he didn't or she's just being pushy and asked me again this morning. I jumped on him about it because I was upset about having to deal with it. I finally just responded to her and explained that we just wanted our regular appointments to ourselves, but we would be happy to schedule a 3D appointment that she could come along to. Apparently he must have said something to her as well because she replied with, "I won't ask any more."

I just feel guilty and upset and sick now! I know she is taking it personally, but I also don't feel like I should have to budge on this. I just wish it didn't bother me so much.
Click to expand...

I think she is being too pushy wanting to attend a scan, I wouldn't love that either. You don't need to feel guilty about this, I think you're being very reasonable. If it would make you feel better though, write/call her with a few specific dates for a 3D scan and let her know you are sincere in inviting her along to that. Hopefully that will help her to feel included.

I'm lucky right now because on DH's side of the family, three of us are pregnant! Me and my two sisters-in-law. So MIL has her hands full :)
 
blinker86 said:
So sorry, Mummy2o. Sending you peace and love.

AFM, I am having a meltdown at the moment. My MIL has been slightly insistent about coming to our next ultrasound since we told her about our pregnancy 8 weeks ago. Since I was only 15/16 years old during my last pregnancy and placed my son for adoption, I really didn't get to enjoy that time at all, and there was always someone in my business. That being said, I really want the chance to make everything special for just me and DH. I had asked him to explain this to her, but either he didn't or she's just being pushy and asked me again this morning. I jumped on him about it because I was upset about having to deal with it. I finally just responded to her and explained that we just wanted our regular appointments to ourselves, but we would be happy to schedule a 3D appointment that she could come along to. Apparently he must have said something to her as well because she replied with, "I won't ask any more."

I just feel guilty and upset and sick now! I know she is taking it personally, but I also don't feel like I should have to budge on this. I just wish it didn't bother me so much.
Click to expand...

I can understand your frustration this is a time for you a DH to enjoy together and bond over, MIL is being a little pushy insisting on attending your scan. You have been nice to offer the 3d scan, if she wants to take offence then it is her choice but you have been fair and offered her that which you didn't need to do. You have no need to feel guilty.

My MIL was a nightmare when we has our first LO, she was constantly at our house, even 15mins after we had been released from hospital. I fear she will be the same this time but I'm going to put my foot down this time. There are times when you need to be together as a family and parents should understand this. MIL also made a comment about coming to a scan but we have said no, and he 3d one we are having is to take our son so she won't be invited to that either. I feel slightly guilty but then I remember what she gets like when they are born and I soon get over it.

X
 
Hey Blinker, it is very unfair of her. I don't think it is appropriate for anyone to ask to go to someone else's scan really. If they were wanted there they would be asked. Tbh the only reason my aunt and my mum saw 1 of my scans each last time was because I had tonnes of them due to complications and was scanned twice a week for several weeks. Only OH and I going to the scans this time. I would love for the kids to come to one but they are all in school hours so unless we book a private one which I doubt OH will agree too and really I don't want a private one I just want the kids to have a peek. I might take them to my next MW app and see if they can listen to the heart beat instead.
 
Setting the limit now with the scan is a great thing if you give in next who knows maybe she wants to be in the delivery room, staying over after baby arrives, etc. It's great that she is excited but she needs to give you your space!
 
Blinker86 - SET LIMITS NOW! Holy crap, the baby isn't even born yet and you are getting the guilt trip. This could totally be a sign of things to come, so you need to STAY STRONG!

Honestly, ultrasounds are a medical procedures. A special one, yes, but a PRIVATE medical procedure. That is why you get to buy pictures - so they can see it at a later time!

Please don't feel guilty. For real, you are the mom, and you are going to have to put your foot down. This will definitely, absolutely, 100% not be the last time. You can do it!
 
Blinker I can't believe her . She is being really childish huffing with you's niw. She has to remember this is personal to you both and its your business. Of course she's still going to play a part in the baby's life and be involved a great deal but she is being so immature. Don't be feeling guilty she's not your problem just you focus on you and baby , let her be 5 years old :)
 
Thank you for all the support! I know I just need to realize that how she chooses to react is not my fault. I feel like compromising in letting her come to a 3D scan is completely reasonable, and probably even much better. She actually already did make another comment too a few weeks ago about being in the delivery room and "staying by my head" but I immediately informed her that DH would be the only one there during that time. I'm pretty sure I made myself very clear, so hopefully that doesn't come up again. I did emphasize to her to let me know if she is interested in the 3D scan so we can plan for it, but I'm still waiting for a reply. I'm going to work on just letting it go and try to get DH to head these things off a little better for me. This situation had me so upset earlier today, but I am feeling more at ease now. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in dealing with this problem and that I'm not just blowing things out of proportion. :wacko:
 
Just back from Anatomy scan. Baby looks happy and healthy. Thankfully cervix looks fine too.

My gut feeling came true! Its a :blue:
 
Good for you Blinker! People seems to treat pregnancy as public property when actually it's one of the most private and sacred of times. You've offered a great compromise and she's the one with the bad attitude!
 
Congratulations on the boy IndianMaa!

Very boy heavy thread

X
 
Jeeeeeez so much BLUE in here! Huge congrats!

Blinker I am honestly super proud of you for sticking to your guns because I would have just given in. I am a pushover. You're a badass because it's hard to stand up for your own wishes especially to family, ESPECIALLY to in-laws.

I'm having a bit of an ultrasound panic right now as well because I am afraid there is going to be a freaking circus in the room on the 28th at my anatomy scan. Originally, I invited my friend to come with me at the 15 week scan (we've both been at each other's ultrasounds for the gender reveal with our babies so it feels right to invite her). And then I was going to invite my mom to the scan on the 28th. But then it turned out my friend couldn't come to the 15 week scan, so I switched it around and my mom was going to come to that one...but then at the last second she couldn't either, so I went to the scan alone. And now since they both missed the 15 week scan they are both planning on coming to the 20 week scan... and my mom will have my daughter and I assume my friend will have her two kids... :dohh:

1) I don't want to have a thousand people in the room and then find out something is horribly wrong with the baby.
2) I don't even know if that many people would be allowed to come in with me, and I would have to pick my mom over my friend because my mom has never been to one of my ultrasounds. But then I would feel super super bad and sad that my friend couldn't come because it's been a thing between us.

I'm also really sad because my husband can't come to any of my ultrasounds. He is in school during the week and he literally cannot miss ANY days because of various reasons. I know it's not a huge deal because ultrasounds are just a tiny preview of when baby is actually here, but I am sad for him that he is missing it. And I'm also afraid, what if something happened to the baby before he is born and my husband never gets to see him moving around and stuff? I know that's horrid and morbid to think about but it stresses me out :(

In better news, I think we finally picked a name after my husband randomly vetoed Atlas after liking it for a week. Ruadhan, pronounced Rowan, Irish to match our daughter Caoimhe! My hubby even called him by the name the other day, it was soooo adorable. :cloud9:
 
Congrats on your boy, Indian Maa! Are you excited?!

My anatomy scan is a week from today. I'm terrified. I have a bad feeling, but then again I did with my son too and everything was fine. Gahhhh.
 
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