Early 20's and TTC - 17 BFPs!

[Lunabelle33]

Lol, he is forever spraying that stuff ahah. And, not on short notice, he wants to come down tomorrow, I am working all day today and tomorrow.

 

[wellsk]

Two things that mask smells really well (I have two dogs)
Scented candles/Incense
Shake'n'Vac

Failing that, bake some bread (which smells amazing!) and then bribe the Landlord with it

 

[Lunabelle33]

Two things that mask smells really well (I have two dogs)
Scented candles/Incense
Shake'n'Vac

Failing that, bake some bread (which smells amazing!) and then bribe the Landlord with it

Lol, if I was home tomorrow I sure would. I was talking to my mom about it...I know for sure she would let me move back in if need be...But she would have to think about my OH moving in with us, she also told me to ask my dad who lives in another town as well to see if there would be a possiblitly to move in there as well if anything happens. Oh the stress.

 

[littleone1993]

Oooh yes I love the idea of baking bread. Alternatively paint your cooker with soot, make it seem like it set on fire and that its his fault it smells of smoke!

Yankee candles also get rid of smell very quickly but they can be a little bit strong so make sure you get a nice smelling one! (Vanilla cupcake is the best!)

Pets are a reason why your landlord may want to come over and inspect sometimes if they're not explicitly allowed in the tenancy agreement.

 

[Lunabelle33]

Yeah, we dont have those candles where I live lol...and He was allowed cats...I could be worrying for nothing, i do tend to over react to things that stress me out.

 

[zumbaloverr]

Yeah, we dont have those candles where I live lol...and He was allowed cats...I could be worrying for nothing, i do tend to over react to things that stress me out.

An old Open House trick for realtors is to put a cup filled 1/3 of the way with vanilla extract in the oven (needs to be a ceramic cup) on 400 degrees for 30 minutes because it makes the house smell amazing and masks any smells from the old tenant. I do it in my home just because it makes the place smell yummy. It's the perfect time of year for that. Especially since it just started snowing again in NY -____________-

 

[zumbaloverr]

I love to see BFP's beside names. It's one of the highlights!

I think we decided to TTC so young because of how young we got married and simply how long we've been together. We got married just after I turned 18 but got engaged when I was 16. For us our relationship has been solid and just flowed one after another. I had a miscarriage just before we got engaged and that almost tore us apart as he didn't know how I felt and I didn;t know how he felt and we didn't want to talk about it because before that we'd never even considered having children really.

He got drunk and had a mini breakdown nd blurted out to his parents about it even though I had wanted to keep it between us and ever since then they've been suspecting us trying especially after we got married. My MIL tries to bring up children and asks questions in front of me and my Sister in Law to be about when we want children. I know my SIL2b is trying too but if we told her then she'd be far too over excited.

i hoped to be honest I'd catch pretty quickly but thinking back it took us about 6 months to get pregnant with our angel baby though we weren't trying so I don't know how many of those ccles were actually viable if that makes sense?

My DH has just qualified as a secondary school maths teacher and I'm a trainee manager for a retail store. I did my alevels and then got offered the promotion so I'm not on bad money at all. Ultimately I want to be a midwife and have the grades but I wanted to have at least one child myself before appying!

Such a touching story. I'm sure it will be a lot more meaningful to be a midwife when you have a child of your own

 

[wellsk]

Lunabelle, that is stressful! I hope everything turns out okay in the end. Hopefully considering your OH has lived there so long your Landlord will be understanding

Littleone, I'm sorry about your MC, it must've been really hard on you both. Showing that you can go through such hard times and come out of the other side just shows how strong your relationship is
Good luck with becoming a midwife! It will be an amazing job, I kinda wish I'd done it now
Although with being LTTTC I think it would be difficult when you see women who don't care about their pregnancies and stuff like that?

My parents won't be happy at all when we have children, they do kind've know that we were TTC and were really angry. My mum is happy about the concept of being a grandmother, but doesn't want me to become a mum
She wants me to travel the world and spend several years working up a career ladder, buy a better house (well, in a better area), buy a better car and go on lots of childfree holidays.

But she doesn't understand as she never had the erge to become a mum, and she eventually had me at 33.

Ironically though, because of how long we're having to wait (and now will probably be waiting until we can get IVF I think). We're managing to go on those holidays, and buy better cars and start working on 'careers'... just not through choice!

It frustrates me that she knows this is what I want, but still thinks I'm wrong. I'm an adult, who's married and owns her own house. I think I can make this decision now.

 

[zumbaloverr]

Lunabelle, that is stressful! I hope everything turns out okay in the end. Hopefully considering your OH has lived there so long your Landlord will be understanding

My parents won't be happy at all when we have children, they do kind've know that we were TTC and were really angry. My mum is happy about the concept of being a grandmother, but doesn't want me to become a mum
She wants me to travel the world and spend several years working up a career ladder, buy a better house (well, in a better area), buy a better car and go on lots of childfree holidays.

But she doesn't understand as she never had the erge to become a mum, and she eventually had me at 33.

Ironically though, because of how long we're having to wait (and now will probably be waiting until we can get IVF I think). We're managing to go on those holidays, and buy better cars and start working on 'careers'... just not through choice!

It frustrates me that she knows this is what I want, but still thinks I'm wrong. I'm an adult, who's married and owns her own house. I think I can make this decision now.

I certainly understand what you mean!! Although I'm not very close with my mom at all (haven't spoken with her in months actually-- sadly), she was always sooo against us getting married/having children young (probably because she conceived my sister when she was only 17 and got married at 18) but just because she felt she threw her own life away doesn't mean we all do. My sister got married when she was 24 and my mother told her the day before her wedding that she was too young-- when my sister had been planning the wedding for six months, lived with her fiance and was a hard-working teacher who was always going to grad school.

I've been with my OH for almost 2 years and we have a very healthy relationship but I'm sure if I AM lucky enough for a BFP, my mother will act all heart-broken and tell me I'm throwing away my life blah blah blah. Although I have a successful career, a good degree, and am in a relationship where we're both emotionally ready for a child. That is why I'm going to wait until either my second trimester or until I'm showing to tell anyone... because I don't want to get anyone upset (or excited) about a baby and then MC.

 

[littleone1993]

I love to see BFP's beside names. It's one of the highlights!

I think we decided to TTC so young because of how young we got married and simply how long we've been together. We got married just after I turned 18 but got engaged when I was 16. For us our relationship has been solid and just flowed one after another. I had a miscarriage just before we got engaged and that almost tore us apart as he didn't know how I felt and I didn;t know how he felt and we didn't want to talk about it because before that we'd never even considered having children really.

He got drunk and had a mini breakdown nd blurted out to his parents about it even though I had wanted to keep it between us and ever since then they've been suspecting us trying especially after we got married. My MIL tries to bring up children and asks questions in front of me and my Sister in Law to be about when we want children. I know my SIL2b is trying too but if we told her then she'd be far too over excited.

i hoped to be honest I'd catch pretty quickly but thinking back it took us about 6 months to get pregnant with our angel baby though we weren't trying so I don't know how many of those ccles were actually viable if that makes sense?

My DH has just qualified as a secondary school maths teacher and I'm a trainee manager for a retail store. I did my alevels and then got offered the promotion so I'm not on bad money at all. Ultimately I want to be a midwife and have the grades but I wanted to have at least one child myself before appying!

Such a touching story. I'm sure it will be a lot more meaningful to be a midwife when you have a child of your own

Haha I hope so! My mums a midwife and I was there when my brother was born so its always been something I've wanted to do. I just want to have my own children first because my mums always said that if you don't it will put you off! Plus if anything went wrong in the birth I don't think I'd want to understand what the midwives were saying!

 

[wellsk]

My situation sounds quite similar to yours Zumba, I'm not intending to tell anyone for quite a while (aside from on here, DH and probably my closest friend; who knows about the infertility and has been there for me the whole way!).
My DH's parents will never know about our kids, unfortunately. They're not good/nice people, and we stopped contact with them just prior to getting married.

I don't believe I'll be throwing my life away, I have good strong plans and I'm really determined about doing postgraduate. We will all make it work, because we want it to!

It's sad that parents will potentially damage their relationships with their children, simply because they don't follow their dream plans for them

 

[zumbaloverr]

My situation sounds quite similar to yours Zumba, I'm not intending to tell anyone for quite a while (aside from on here, DH and probably my closest friend; who knows about the infertility and has been there for me the whole way!).
My DH's parents will never know about our kids, unfortunately. They're not good/nice people, and we stopped contact with them just prior to getting married.

I don't believe I'll be throwing my life away, I have good strong plans and I'm really determined about doing postgraduate. We will all make it work, because we want it to!

It's sad that parents will potentially damage their relationships with their children, simply because they don't follow their dream plans for them

I know what you mean. And I agree so much-- I know my parents just want me to live the best life possible and for that, I'm so thankful. I'm sure I'll want the same for my own children. I just want them to realize that my best life isn't necessarily what they want for me. Regardless, I know that once they get over their shock, my parents will be extremelly supportive and love my child as their own. I'm sure my child will be spoiled rotten by my family.

And I'm in a similar situation with my OH's family. They never had problems until I came along however my OH's mother and sister were very controlling and when I came along, they just couldn't understand. When we moved in together, they were pushing for my OH to get his own place and they've been rooting against us our whole relationship. They judged me for everything... I couldn't open my mouth there without being told I was wrong. His mother was always butting in about bills and then telling me that his bills weren't my business (ummm... we live together... we share our bills) and they never invited me to family functions. My OH is so sweet and wanted to believe the best in his family so he never acknowledged the problems between them. It got to a point where whenever we'd go to his parents, I'd just be quiet because I was afraid of being judged. About two and a half months ago, my OH's father was alone with me and verbally attacked me, saying that I'm so rude to their whole family and they don't want me around. I honestly just sat their crying and apologizing... it was so embarrassing. It hurt me badly however it hurt them worse in the long run and brought OH and I so much closer together. My OH hasn't spoken to them since... we told my family what happened and they said they felt it was for the best and they looovee my OH. His mother had the audacity to send him an email saying she "wishes I didn't have to drag him into the middle of my problems". She continues to try to contact him daily. I have a feeling they will not play any roll in our children's lives... at least not until they can be more kind and respectful. It's so sad

I'm happy that it happened before I had a baby though. They were miserable people to begin with. His parents remain married although they are unhappy and don't acknowledge their problems-- the father is unfaithful and the mother is unhappy. Their both extremely over weight They don't even share a bed. I want my children being raised in a family with happy couples. My own grandparents have been happily married for over 40 years... I don't know that I've ever seen a couple so in love. It makes me so happy. They still call each other cute names and hug all the time and want to be together always. I want that to be what my child is raised around.

I'm so sorry to hear about your fertility problems. How did you discover them?

 

[littleone1993]

Lunabelle, that is stressful! I hope everything turns out okay in the end. Hopefully considering your OH has lived there so long your Landlord will be understanding

Littleone, I'm sorry about your MC, it must've been really hard on you both. Showing that you can go through such hard times and come out of the other side just shows how strong your relationship is
Good luck with becoming a midwife! It will be an amazing job, I kinda wish I'd done it now
Although with being LTTTC I think it would be difficult when you see women who don't care about their pregnancies and stuff like that?

My parents won't be happy at all when we have children, they do kind've know that we were TTC and were really angry. My mum is happy about the concept of being a grandmother, but doesn't want me to become a mum
She wants me to travel the world and spend several years working up a career ladder, buy a better house (well, in a better area), buy a better car and go on lots of childfree holidays.

But she doesn't understand as she never had the erge to become a mum, and she eventually had me at 33.

Ironically though, because of how long we're having to wait (and now will probably be waiting until we can get IVF I think). We're managing to go on those holidays, and buy better cars and start working on 'careers'... just not through choice!

It frustrates me that she knows this is what I want, but still thinks I'm wrong. I'm an adult, who's married and owns her own house. I think I can make this decision now.

Thank you! I think my miscarriage definitely kickstarted me wanting a baby but because I was so young at that point we were worrying well how will we cope with a baby but now we're like How will we cope without a baby!

To be honest I think the job isn't as everyone expects it to be and I know that because my mums a midwife and she comes home in tears sometimes but others she comes home bouncing. I think it just really depends. If I am LTTC then I think it definitely will be hard for me but at the same time I know a midwife who had to have an emergency hysterectomy after her first baby and her husband left her because of it and she loves the job despite people having their 5/6th baby who is taken straight away by social services. I think some people are just built for the job.

Child free holidays are wonderful and so are the houses and cars but when its time then its time. If you spend your time worrying about everything else then you will never do anything. My mum had 5 kids by the time she was 27 and she had me at 18 so we're used to having a young family but I guess it could be hard if she didn't have you until 33!

How long have you been TTC!

I certainly understand what you mean!! Although I'm not very close with my mom at all (haven't spoken with her in months actually-- sadly), she was always sooo against us getting married/having children young (probably because she conceived my sister when she was only 17 and got married at 18) but just because she felt she threw her own life away doesn't mean we all do. My sister got married when she was 24 and my mother told her the day before her wedding that she was too young-- when my sister had been planning the wedding for six months, lived with her fiance and was a hard-working teacher who was always going to grad school.

I've been with my OH for almost 2 years and we have a very healthy relationship but I'm sure if I AM lucky enough for a BFP, my mother will act all heart-broken and tell me I'm throwing away my life blah blah blah. Although I have a successful career, a good degree, and am in a relationship where we're both emotionally ready for a child. That is why I'm going to wait until either my second trimester or until I'm showing to tell anyone... because I don't want to get anyone upset (or excited) about a baby and then MC.

Zumbaa lover! My mum got pregnant with me at 17 and got married at 18 too so she couldn't really say anything when I got married at 18 though she did try! She was really supportive on my wedding day and my parents paid for the reception and the wedding dress which really helped as we could then afford everything we wanted. Liam and I had been together for nearly 6 years when we got married and had been renting for nearly a year. We got our mortgage 6 months ago and I much prefer it!

I think my mum will probably know I'm pregnant before I do because she will know all the signs bless her! I won't tell anyone until I;m showing though I don't think incase of the miscarriage.

 

[wellsk]

I'm sorry about what happened between your OH's family and you. It's incredible cruel, and scarily similar to my own story. It sounds like they could actually be the same people!

My DH was also in denial about it, although he didn't love his parents much at all, as they'd abused him mentally as a child (and he's still extremely scarred from it). He was basically their workhorse to finance them and their lives. And they weren't impressed when he met me and suddenly his attention was elsewhere.

Like you, I ended up not saying anything. And eventually starting having anxiety attacks at the thought of spending time with them. We actually went on holiday, and so verbally abusive to me and made me so uncomfortable (all behind my DH's back), that I actually became physically ill.

Eventually they accidentally left their phone unhooked and DH heard everything they thought about me (it was truly vile!). And he forced them to apologise, they did 'apologise', but it's the most pathetic attempt I've ever heard. And when I refused to accept it, they kicked their son out of his home.

It worked out well in the end though, we're both very happy and we really don't need them in our lives!

As for the fertility problems; We went to the doctor after a year of TTC, and they did some blood and ultrasound tests on me, which were all normal. Then DH had a semen analysis which came back as high sperm count, but 99% abnormal morphology (so bad shaped sperm). He's just waiting to have a second one done now.

We have also been trying to get onto a trial for IVF, because I'm too young for NHS funded IVF. And they found that I've got 'lower side of normal' AMH levels (so looking at quality and amount of eggs).

On top of this I also have vaginismus, which makes it difficult to BD regularly.

So with all these, the odd are kind've stacked against us

 

[wellsk]

Littleone, I agree with you on the fact that some people are just built for the job. It's like being a nurse and stuff like that. It can't be easy at all!
I plan to become a Social Worker, so I'm probably going to be in a similar position. But thinking that I can help someone, always ends up overruling everything for me

I've been TTC 16 cycles

 

[littleone1993]

I'm sorry about what happened between your OH's family and you. It's incredible cruel, and scarily similar to my own story. It sounds like they could actually be the same people!

My DH was also in denial about it, although he didn't love his parents much at all, as they'd abused him mentally as a child (and he's still extremely scarred from it). He was basically their workhorse to finance them and their lives. And they weren't impressed when he met me and suddenly his attention was elsewhere.

Like you, I ended up not saying anything. And eventually starting having anxiety attacks at the thought of spending time with them. We actually went on holiday, and so verbally abusive to me and made me so uncomfortable (all behind my DH's back), that I actually became physically ill.

Eventually they accidentally left their phone unhooked and DH heard everything they thought about me (it was truly vile!). And he forced them to apologise, they did 'apologise', but it's the most pathetic attempt I've ever heard. And when I refused to accept it, they kicked their son out of his home.

It worked out well in the end though, we're both very happy and we really don't need them in our lives!

As for the fertility problems; We went to the doctor after a year of TTC, and they did some blood and ultrasound tests on me, which were all normal. Then DH had a semen analysis which came back as high sperm count, but 99% abnormal morphology (so bad shaped sperm). He's just waiting to have a second one done now.

We have also been trying to get onto a trial for IVF, because I'm too young for NHS funded IVF. And they found that I've got 'lower side of normal' AMH levels (so looking at quality and amount of eggs).

On top of this I also have vaginismus, which makes it difficult to BD regularly.

So with all these, the odd are kind've stacked against us

Oh hun. In laws from hell are awful. The only problem I have with mine is that his MIL always steals my christmas present ideas for DH. I was going to buy him an ipad for christmas and she asked me what I was getting. 2 days later I had a phone call saying she'd bought him one. Go figure!

The odds might sound like they're stacked against you but I'm sure you'll get there. At least IVF is an option. I know this may sound awful but if you find it difficult to BD lots could artificial insemination be an option? He does his business in a cup and then you use it?

Hope his morphology results come back a little better? Its hard because you seem really lovely and would give a baby a wonderful home

Social work is a very good job. Its also an option for me if midwifery is no longer an option. I've been bought up in a household with social workers (my grandmother is an adoption advisor). I think it would be a lot harder than being a midwife because you have to make the decisions about the babies mental and physical wellbeing where as a midwife just has to look after the baby physically for a short period of time.

 

[Flutterbyex]

Hello ladies!
Can I join you all please?
I'm 21, so is 22
I came off bc pill at the end of feb.. I had my withdrawal bleed the 4-11th of march and then had a long 43 day cycle!! I'm towards the end of AF now and I am looking forward to getting started with all the bding hehe!
Lots of luck and baby dust to you all! Lets get this post filled with BFPs!! xx

 

[wellsk]

Aww thanks hun, that means a lot!
Yeah, I'm very grateful that there are ways around it!
We have discussed doing AI at home, although DH has never been keen. I think I brought it a couple of months ago, and he suggest trying his way first (which is basically taking him as close as possible through other means and then quickly BD'ing at the end, sorry if TMI) and then he'd try the AI. So I might bring up and ask, thanks!

I'm hoping it will be better, but he's epileptic and it's well documented that the medication he takes impacts on sperm quality. And he knows that I don't ever want him to change his meds, and I'd rather adopt than let him change it. Which might sound quite extreme, but he's been seizure free for 3 years and they're terrifying and could potentially be fatal if he was in the wrong place, wrong time!

 

[Dottiee]

Of course you can I'll add you to the list when I get off work.

Also, I'm ovulating! So it's time to get busy and then the TWW.. Anyone else in the same part of their cycle as I am?

 

[wellsk]

Hi flutterbye