'Fab'ulous testers and supporters; 58 bfps

[lilmisscaviar]

Oh Beth! I'm so sorry! I know nothing I say can take back the hurt you must be feeling but my condolences to you during this hard time and lots of

 

[FLArmyWife]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Sorry not active, dealing with some family stuff

 

[AugustAngel15]

Sorry for your loss Beth.

 

[Disneymom1129]

Beth so sorry for the loss of your mother. That must've been very hard on you. I hope things work out for you money wise, as that is a rough situation. You're in my thoughts!

 

[Mrs. MB]

Beth - I'm so so sorry. It's never easy to lose a loved one and to have to worry about financial aspects is just absolutely devastating when it's your time to grieve.

 

[BethMaassen]

Today I had to go in and have a sit down with the people at the Funeral Home. A nice Lady named Marcelle took 3 hours to help us settle with what will be mom's memorial services.
Mom's wish was to be buried. A simple thing... Nothing huge nothing fancy..
"Throw me into a box, put me in the ground, and go have a picnic to celebrate me" she would say...
Even the cheapest thing I could do would cost at least 10,000$ USD, and that does not cover a wake, or a party to celebrate mom.
After Marcelle drew up the papers for a burial, It felt as if I was kicked. there was no way we could do it.. And even if everyone donated just a little, I don't think we will ever make enough to do it.
We sat back down, after I spoke to my siblings. Katie and Bobby, and I have picked something even more simple, even though it kills me...
Mom deserves the finest they can to offer. But sadly, I can not make that happen.
I have set up:
- A small private viewing which will last about 30 minutes.. It is just for a small amount of people. Allowing our Local family and friends to come and say their final good bye's to get closer.
They will set her features and make her up...
From there they will take her to be cremated. Yes, cremated. It kills me. But I can't afford any better!
I picked a beautiful urn that Mom would have drooled over, had she been alive.
this small thing will cost us just under 2,500$ USD...
I will rent out the community room and there we can have party/ a wake... something to celebrate mom.. Which will cost, I dont know...
I allowed them to take her fingerprints so we can later get jewelry engraved with it, and of course, I can bring the urn in and have them fill little trinkets and jewelry with a small bit of her ash.. allowing each one of us (her children) to carry her with us... forever..
-----------------------------
The notice of her passing Will be in the local newspaper tomorrow...
I can't afford an Obit (they want over 200$USD) in the paper.
But The funeral home will put one up on their website, and I have tasked Friti with putting up a Memorial page on her website, which I will maintain, as I promised, till the day I die....
(I want to thank Dad and Diane for being there and helping me think clearly as I made these impossible decisions. And Of course Sissy, for agreeing that mom wouldn't want us to kill ourselves trying to bury her)

I started a go fundme, in hopes of getting together enough monies to cover the costs...

 

[Disneymom1129]

Beth don't feel guilty that you can't bury her like she wished, sometimes these things just don't work out. Funerals are ungodly expensive (every aspect) so it's understandable why a lot of people have life insurance to help cover those costs when they're gone. Wishing you the best!

 

[busytulip]

Beth I'm incredibly sorry for your loss

I agree with Disney, please don't beat yourself up. I think what you've planned sounds lovely. Prayers for you and your familk in the midst of your grief.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

it may not be what she or you wanted but maybe later when youre healed, it will be a better decision than you thought?

 

[lilmisscaviar]

My grandfather passed away back in November unexpectedly and my grandmother had to do what she could to mull through the services. Funeral costs are so unreasonably expensive that I'm sure your mother, put in the same situation, would have done the same. She would understand. We always want what is best for our loved ones, even during their time of passing.

 

[BethMaassen]

Thanks ladies for the incredible amount of support. It is appreciated.
Things seem so tough.. And I don't know how I am going to cope. Every day it is one more thing... And sooner or later, we are going to have to clean out her belongings....

My MAJOR focus is getting the money together.

Also, Ladies, PLEASE tell me I am NOT seeing what I think I am seeing!

https://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h437/HotaruFhang/poas/unnamed_zps2b5qu6ff.jpg

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Oy, cleaning out the stuff brings out the UGLY in people you thought you knew. I saw sides of my family, i wish i never had.

My dad wanted to keep anything and everything. My mom said no.
My uncle said I could have her hope chest and then said i couldnt ( jokes on him, i got her childhood house)
My mom was bossy, mean and controlling.

I got a few things that meant something to me from my grandma. I got a pink teacup. It was randomly found in her china cabinet and we used it for our vow renewal. I got her house coat. I got the last nightgown she wore and turned it into a bear for myself and my dad. I got her childhood house. i got salt and pepper shakers.

my advice for you is:
Youre hurting but realize others are too and we grieve in our own way. I wanted to make my grandma a turtle necklace. She LOVED florida and the ocean. At her funeral, my mom threw a literal hissy fit and was very rude about me putting it on her. It made me feel like crap. I put it under her hands instead. My mom also didnt like the idea of me speaking at her funeral.

*clearly my mom has issues, lol. My dad ( my grandmas son) would have been fine handling things but thats just the kind of person my mom is sadly.

 

[Angelique76]

Thanks ladies for the incredible amount of support. It is appreciated.
Things seem so tough.. And I don't know how I am going to cope. Every day it is one more thing... And sooner or later, we are going to have to clean out her belongings....

My MAJOR focus is getting the money together.

Also, Ladies, PLEASE tell me I am NOT seeing what I think I am seeing!

https://i1109.photobucket.com/albums/h437/HotaruFhang/poas/unnamed_zps2b5qu6ff.jpg

Hi Beth,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that the Angels will hold you tight and that you will find peace in this sad time. I can only imagine what you are going through. xo

I see something faint. Have you tested again?

 

[FLArmyWife]

beth- it is a super squinter but at certain angles I can see something.

I hope all our ladies are doing well

 

[BethMaassen]

OnErth: It is just me and my siblings. And both of them kinda just shrug and tell me "do what you think is best"
The division of property I think won't be too hard. Mom already had some "I want this to go to..." in order. But we agree on a lot of stuff and where it needs to go...And to whom.

Angeligue: Twice. Once with a Walmart cheapie and once with a CB digi.. Both bfn. I want to be relieved. Because as is things are going to be so hard without adding a new baby to it. But at the same time.. I am so sad. My mom was convinced I'm pregnant.. even though I said nothing about DH and I trying. She was especially pushy about it her final 2 days... and I was due for AF on the 4th according to my calculations.. I even thought the 6th to make wiggle room. My period tracking app said it was due yesterday... still bfn. Still no af.

Maybe the grief has thrown me off.. I don't know..

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Does anyone know the usual dosage for Provera?

 

[lenorajoy]

Beth - I'm so sorry for your loss!! I agree, I imagine your mother wouldn't want you to go into such debt to give her the funeral you'd like to give her. It isn't your fault funeral services are so expensive. If she were here, I'm sure she would tell you you're making the right decision. I hope you find comfort in your family during this tough time.

 

[drjo718]

Beth, so sorry to hear of your loss and the financial difficulties coming with it. I hope you find some comfort.

On erth- I think I take 10mg for 10 days with provera. But I know the dosage can differ for some.

Afm, I've had 3 bleeding/spotting episodes from the subchorionic hemorrhage in 9 days. Last time was Thursday, cervix is closed. I have a follow up ultrasound with perinatology on Wednesday, shortly before my first midwife appt. I'm so afraid there won't be a heartbeat this time. I've had occasional mild cramping, but nothing worrisome. I'm on pelvic rest and not to lift more than 30lbs. (Glad Nora is only 18lbs!) Part of me feels like everything is fine, and part of me isn't getting my hopes up.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Lenora, how are you doing hun?

Beth - Did AF show for you yet? Your poor body is probably thrown all in a loop after everything you've been going through xx

Drjo - I hope everything is fine but that does sound scary! Please update after your scan. Will be praying for good news fx

 

[Disneymom1129]

drjo I've got everything crossed for you that you've got a healthy bean hanging on strong. Please update when you can!