I hate this for you Jess. But I also know exactly how you’re feeling. It got to the point with me...that I would laugh when I saw 2 lines while anyone I showed would get all excited and congratulate me thinking I’d actually STAY pregnant. I will also say though, that I am old and deep down I think that God (or whatever higher power you believe in) knew I had just about as much as I could/can handle already. (My 20yo son has Aspergers and my 13yo daughter has ODD, DMDD, ADHD and GAD...and just got out of inpatient tbh.)
I know what you’ve been through with this and hope with everything that THIS time is YOUR time! You deserve it. Much love!